Wednesday, November 13, 1996

poem: The Prodigal


The Prodigal
Failing, failing, every day; looking, looking, where's the way?
Choosing, choosing, guidance not; suff'ring, suff'ring, this my lot.
Searching, searching, ever night; thinking, thinking, I stood in light.
Coming, coming, You stood near; holding, hugging, make love clear.

For life is a struggle with pain and with sin,
But all we must do is let Jesus in.
Ask Him into out black, sinful hearts,
Praise be to Him who died, took out part.

Yes now I see much better true; You've known me, now I know You.
Loving me out from the dark, with the Spirit's hold spark.
Giving, living, patient cross; crying, dying, gain or loss?
Losing fear within Your love, finding peace in you above.


Take me, take me, offer up; tasting, drinking, from the cup.
Drinking, eating, wine and bread; "Follow me," You have said.
Offer on the altar I; for life in You, self must die.
Praying to You within my fear, sensing You so very near.

Final Chorus:
Yes, life is a struggle with pain and with sin,
Yet all we must do is let Jesus in.
Through Him we are made pure of heart,
Praise be to Him who died, took our part.
Yes, praise be to Him who died, took our part.

Sunday, November 03, 1996

Church Search, Week 24

Sixth months today I became a Christian. I was expecting to go to the Episcopal Church today, but two Muni metros just never showed. When the third showed up at 10:04 and said he was taking a 20 minute break, I knew I couldn't get to St. Francis' until after 10:30. I decided on plan B.

Plan B is to go to the Assembly of God church two blocks from Balboa Park where I normally transfer busses. So no St. Francis' today. But I have to go to church. I've been meaning to come here anyway. I guess I've just been waiting for the busses to get messed up like this. Otherwise I never would have come. It pisses me off because I'm tired of searching and I don't like having my schedule thrown off. Besides, being my six month anniversary and how it just happens to fall on a Sunday, it's supposed to be a good day.

Week 24: Community Assembly of God

Somewhat pentecostal. I felt good about them until the pastor explicitly endorses the Toronto Blessing and the Pensacola Outpouring. I've just been influenced too much by the Bible Answer Man. So I can't come back here. It's not that good anyway.

The sanctuary fits about 900 people, but there's much fewer people than that. Not real packed at all.

The preacher yelled and talked very fast during the sermon.

Why did things happen the way they did to bring me to a place like this this morning?

Friday, November 01, 1996

6 months

This Sunday marks 6 months for me of being a Christian. 6 months since I turned my life over to God. What have I accomplished? How have I grown? In what ways am I taking from the Christian community, and in what ways giving? How am I doing?