Friday, November 28, 2003

Give Thanks

Thanksgiving on Thursday was good. Brad brought cornish game hens, yams, and cherry pie (I hate pumpkin). I brought Martinelli's, cranberry sauce, and two wine glasses. I had two turkey TV dinners in the freezer at work, so I used them to provide us with stuffing and mashed potatoes. It was a wonderful Thanksgiving dinner. We even topped it off with coffee (provided by me). All we were missing was the rolls. Brad accidentally left them at home.

Here's a Thanksgiving prayer I wrote Wednesday:

Help me to walk closer to You, God. I backslide so often, walk away, go my own way. I don't want to be like that. You have been so good to me. I don't know why I am so mean in return. But even through my most recent struggles, You have held me tight, and Your Holy Spirit has never stopped working on me.

Thank You, Lord, for my apartment.
Thank You for my cats.
Thank You for the gifts of Your Son for our salvation and Your Spirit for our guidance.
Thank You that we have the ability to give You thanks.
And thank You for this day that we set aside to remember Your gifts.

Thank You for your continued protection of this country.
Thank You that You have remained true to the promise You made me a few years ago. You've never once failed in what you said You would do. I've doubted You many times, but You have always come through. Thank You for being so faithful.

And finally, thank You for all the new ministry opportunities of late. I pray, God, that we would let Your light shine through us that all people would glorify You. May the words we speak here be Yours.

Thank You, Father, for all Your gifts.


I got my Christmas presents wrapped on Tuesday night, and dug out the Christmas tree Wednesday night. The box is worn out, so I tossed it out and threw the pieces of the tree into the wardrobe box that I got when I moved. Now I "just" have to set it up. Oh joy.

Book review (sort of): Lord of the Rings

I finished Lord of the Rings on Tuesday...yea! All 1006 pages of it. Now I can't wait for movie #3 to come out. I'm hoping to get opening day off work. Here's what I wrote on Wednesday:

Well, I finally finished the book yesterday. I have a three-in-one copy that runs 1000 pages, NOT counting the appendices.

It starts slow - getting past the first 100 pages was difficult. But then it picks up again. After the Ring was disposed of around page 900, I again lost interest and had to force myself to read, but the last two chapters picked up again and I was in tears by the end (it's a somewhat sad ending) - there was even a surprize about Saruman that I didn't see coming!

There are some Christian themes in it - Gandalf is a Christ-figure, dying and coming back to life, hanging around a while to help his friends, and then departing for the Grey Havens which comes across sounding an awful lot like paradise in the book.

Good book, but it did take me over a year and a half to get through it. Now I don't know what to read next because I've been reading that book so long.

Another thing....FOR ALL YOU PEOPLE WHO LOVE THE MOVIES...read the books! The movies are good, but I've found they left out so much that I was lost by halfway through movie #1. Reading the books cleared up what happened.

Sunday, November 23, 2003

Ok, I'd like to get off now...

God, what a long weekend (or short, as the case may be!). I need a weekend to recover from my weekend. Thursday night (Friday morning) I was up until 3 a.m. doing laundry. Friday was all houework stuff as usual. Saturday was the "apartment warming" party at my new place.

I don't deal well with so many people in my living room. I want nothing more than a day to stay home and sleep and putter around, and to get Xena to do the neat trick she did this morning, lying down next to me and letting me pet her while she slept. She NEVER lets me do that. She hates being touched or held.

I want to start feeling better because I feel lousy today. I really need a day off...BAD!

I made it through this past week, but I think the strain of the past week is wearing on me.

Oh yeah, Xena no longer will eat her favorite crunchy treats, and she has always swallowed her dry food whole, so I am worried about her teeth. I need to take her to the vet and just have them take a quick look at them. I couldn't see anything wrong this morning, but I didn't want to annoy her by taking any more than the briefest look.

Wednesday, November 19, 2003

What Monty Python Holy Grail Quest Character are You?

Launcelot
You are Sir Launcelot.
Heroicly you are stereotyped into rescuing damsels in distress...only you get confused and rescue the wrong sex sometimes. You look for fights in all the wrong places, and pretend your friends and loved ones are hurt to dramaticly avenge their murder. You might be too brave for your britches.

What Monty Python Holy Grail Quest Character are You?
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Monday, November 17, 2003

Letter to God

I hate You, ok? Is that too harsh? I hate You and don't understand why You are allowing all this stuff to happen. I thought I was Your child, I thought You loved me. Why would You hurt me so, and be so silent? Why do You seem to take such delight in it all? Why do You hate me? Why have You forsaken me?

Is it so wrong to wander away from You when Your people hurt me and when circumstances rain down around me? And why do You even care? I know that I don't matter. I'm selfish, evil, and think of only myself. At least everyone says that and I know they are right. So what does it matter? Just destroy me, let me rest. I do not recall asking to be created or born, or to survive childhood. I have no desire to cling to One who forbids fun while He allows my life to crash down around me.

You are hurtful and mean and that's why I hate You.

When It Rains, It Pours

I hardly know where to start, so lets try the beginning.

As I left my apartment today I ran into the owner who stopped me and said that someone would be moving into #26 next door to me. Ok, cool. I've been asked by several people how much this much smaller apartment (about half the size of mine as far as the space of the main room) goes for. He said $725 - $30 *more* than what I am paying for my much larger place. This most likely means that when the term of my lease is up, he will raise the rent, forcing me to move again.

I leave home and get on the bus to work. I run into a older guy friend of mine and we sit together for the ride. He tells me that the 58 line (my [and his] way to work) will be discontinued December 21. Merry Christmas. So I am now trying to get info. from phone operators at AC Trasnit about how the hell I'm going to get to and from work. I already found out that the 62 won't run past midnight, meaning that I will have a harder time getting home when my relief is late.

Basically, I'm going to have to move and am having difficulty finding another way to get to work so I can have a job! My boss just told me to spend $3-400 on a folding bike and ride that as much as I need to.

I'm in deep doo-doo.

Saturday, November 15, 2003

Bleh Again

The party didn't come together this afternoon. Doug, Julia, and Anita are all sick and so everybody wanted to go to their homes, so no party this afternoon. We'll do it next week. Now what am I supposed to do about Dad? My excuse for not seeing him today was the party. That excuse has now evaporated.

Friday, November 14, 2003

Bleh

Dad is coming by this weekend, so I get to see him all day today. Consequently, I've spent the last couple days cleaning - doing dishes, vacuuming, sweeping, mopping, cleaning the counters and stovetop - because there will be no time today for that.

If that weren't bad enough, my housewarming party is Sabbath after church, and Eleanor said that Dad is upset that I can't see him that day, even though the party was planned before Dad's visit. Besides, I actually never said he couldn't see me Saturday, but I knew he would probably not want to be around my church friends. He can come if he wants. :-p

Bleh. It's been a crazy week and now it will be a crazy weekend. :(

Wednesday, November 12, 2003

Thursday, November 06, 2003

More and more Christmas presents keep arriving. So far every day this week (Monday-Wednesday) I've received packages. Yesterday was most of the stuff I ordered from Drs. Foster and Smith.

Had a talk with God Sunday night on the way home. He knows how to get to me. I had a couple e-mails from Kathi that made an impact on me, and an e-mail from Pastor Steve asking urgent prayer for Julia. I promised I would pray for her. So I told God that I didn't understand WHY my sin was sin or why He wanted me to give it up, but that I would. I'm not happy. It isn't repentance; it's just a stopping of the sin. It's grudging obedience.

Wednesday, November 05, 2003

The Christmas presents I ordered last Thursday are starting to arrive. The first arrival was a used book through Amazon; Tuesday the Sees candy arrived, including my one pound box. :) So I got to pig out on some of that. :)

Also bought a new Betta fish today. Legolas died a week or so ago and today's new addition was Aragorn. He's a bluish Betta, much like Frodo. The fish store said they feed the Betta pellets, which explains why Legolas refused to eat the flakes. I bought some pellets to feed Aragorn. We will see if he does any better. Xena has already taken an interest in our new guest. :)

Monday, November 03, 2003

How Old Is Your Inner Child?

My inner child is ten years old today

My inner child is ten years old!

The adult world is pretty irrelevant to me. Whether I'm off on my bicycle (or pony) exploring, lost in a good book, or giggling with my best friend, I live in a world apart, one full of adventure and wonder and other stuff adults don't understand.

How Old is Your Inner Child?
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Sunday, November 02, 2003

Growing

Well, I got through Halloween and am very glad it's over. Now I just have to weather the holidays. I was lucky to have Halloween off this year, and it was refreshing to discover that I've come far enough to resist all the urges to go back, that I can make it through! :)

All things being the same, I'll be working the next several Halloweens to come. Next year it falls on Sunday, and it will move through the week that way.

I'm making progress. This year for the first time I was able to have a Halloween-themed sig pic, and was able to eat a pomegranate. Pomegranates always had Pagan meanings for me. They are a prominent aspect of the Greek myth of Demeter and Persephone, which was one of my favorite myths, and my class project for my "Women and Religion" class in college. So I haven't eaten one in 7 years - until this Halloween.

I see Halloween as a Romans 14 issue. I freely admit to still being weak in this area. But slowly God is healing me. This was the easiest Halloween for me yet, and the first time I've been home so I could pass out candy. It sucks working nights and all holidays, but someone has to work so all the rest of you can enjoy it.

I survived. It's over. Thank God. Now normal life can resume again and EW can get on with its ministry to the hated and misunderstood ones.