Our dear sweet Brian at CHR said the following. It was too good not to share and shows that I'm more like Edmund than I might think:
From: Pendell1 4:12 am
To: Stumbling To Bethlehem (Newbirth) (9 of 16)
Hmm .. Edmund bound himself to an evil goddess and from her partook of forbidden things that his friends never did.
Later, he repented, and She demanded his life of him. He was saved because Aslan sacrificed himself to save him, releasing him from his bondage to Her.
He later proved instrumental in Her defeat at the battle of the Fords of Bruinen, because he had the sense to smash her WAND, taking away her ability to turn people into stone, although he was grievously wounded in the process. He grew up to become a grave and thoughtful man, made deeper by his repentence then before.
Of course this bears no resemblence to you at all :).
Showing posts with label goddess. Show all posts
Showing posts with label goddess. Show all posts
Wednesday, May 04, 2005
Friday, January 23, 2004
Burnt Offerings
The goddess wants me back. She tells me that she'll take me back, why do I need a God who does this to His followers, and lets other followers do it? She's not angry. She'll welcome me back. It's a seductive song. She tells me to renounce this God I've been following and go where I am loved and supported. Who is the worthy one? Who truly loves me?
Well, I need to get ready for Sabbath.
Well, I need to get ready for Sabbath.
Saturday, February 22, 1997
poem: The Touch
The Touch
Sonshine breaks over an icy heart,
As when first frozen, the Sonlight now hurts.
Inside is stone, the result of many years of pain.
She did it, and I let her.
I gave myself to her, to her who could love naught
But power.
So I am afraid, I cannot trust.
He says the pain is necessary.
Yet I fear.
"But the Sonlight cannot melt the stone," I think.
I hide in the rock of my heart,
Never seeing the true Rock.
A form emerges from the Light.
I cannot see Him, but I see His chisel.
He has come to break me.
"I will break, but then remake," He says.
I do not trust.
Why should I, after how she hurt me?
Then I feel it,
The feeling that cannot be explained away, or
Denied.
The feeling so overpowering that I let Him move toward me
With the chisel. The feeling
Beyond words. The feeling
Beyond fear. The feeling
Beyond feeling to
Truth,
The truth of love.
Sonshine breaks over an icy heart,
As when first frozen, the Sonlight now hurts.
Inside is stone, the result of many years of pain.
She did it, and I let her.
I gave myself to her, to her who could love naught
But power.
So I am afraid, I cannot trust.
He says the pain is necessary.
Yet I fear.
"But the Sonlight cannot melt the stone," I think.
I hide in the rock of my heart,
Never seeing the true Rock.
A form emerges from the Light.
I cannot see Him, but I see His chisel.
He has come to break me.
"I will break, but then remake," He says.
I do not trust.
Why should I, after how she hurt me?
Then I feel it,
The feeling that cannot be explained away, or
Denied.
The feeling so overpowering that I let Him move toward me
With the chisel. The feeling
Beyond words. The feeling
Beyond fear. The feeling
Beyond feeling to
Truth,
The truth of love.
Wednesday, December 04, 1996
poem: Who Is She?
11/6/96
last verse 12/4/96
[It was between these dates that the goddess' personal pronoun "She" became just "she." It was during this time that I came to the conclusion that she was not a god. I needed to know this in order to fully give myself to God.
This poem begins with me asking who she is, and ends when God gives me the answer.]
Who Is She?
I was once a child of night, thinking that I dwelt in light,
And yet the God of Light did come, and the Son eclipsed the Sun.
Calling, calling, always clear; calling, calling, ever near,
Saying what must be said for change; moving moving - rearrange.
I call out to earth and sky; I call out my doubts must die.
What¹s the lie and what is true, who is She and who are You?
Will You answer, One of Day, will You speak and will You say,
Who She is and what You've done, conquer Her with Light of Son?
I called out to earth and sky; I called out my doubts must die.
And You came and spoke to me, from Your word You broke to me
The news of what She is so true; She is not at all like You.
She is demon, You divine; I give Her up - You are mine!
last verse 12/4/96
[It was between these dates that the goddess' personal pronoun "She" became just "she." It was during this time that I came to the conclusion that she was not a god. I needed to know this in order to fully give myself to God.
This poem begins with me asking who she is, and ends when God gives me the answer.]
Who Is She?
I was once a child of night, thinking that I dwelt in light,
And yet the God of Light did come, and the Son eclipsed the Sun.
Calling, calling, always clear; calling, calling, ever near,
Saying what must be said for change; moving moving - rearrange.
I call out to earth and sky; I call out my doubts must die.
What¹s the lie and what is true, who is She and who are You?
Will You answer, One of Day, will You speak and will You say,
Who She is and what You've done, conquer Her with Light of Son?
I called out to earth and sky; I called out my doubts must die.
And You came and spoke to me, from Your word You broke to me
The news of what She is so true; She is not at all like You.
She is demon, You divine; I give Her up - You are mine!
Monday, October 07, 1996
poem: Desire
Desire
In the sweetness of the longing, in the bitter of the sigh,
In the atmosphere and firelight, I listen to the lie:
That the path is clearly seen, and the sun shines on the Way,
The moon is just illusion; this is really light of day.
In the decisions and the choices of choosing right from wrong,
I listen for some guidance, and hear an age-old song,
Of dancing by the fire and running in the hills,
Of revelry being worship, an emptiness to fill.
In the darkness of the chamber where the molten lava flows,
I hide myself from myself, and yet He knows, He knows.
In the coldness of the embers, or the pain of iron hands,
He pushes and cajoles me, whispering a Promised Land.
But then the sound of slippered footsteps, a music in my ear,
A touch upon my shoulder - She is so very near.
Whispering Her promises by day or dark of night,
She promises Her love and more, embracing me in light.
Yes, even He most powerful of any ever been,
Cannot keep one single one from slipping into sin.
Even He, most powerful, of all the earth and sky,
Cannot keep me, a little one, from listening to a lie.
In the sweetness of the longing, in the bitter of the sigh,
In the atmosphere and firelight, I listen to the lie:
That the path is clearly seen, and the sun shines on the Way,
The moon is just illusion; this is really light of day.
In the decisions and the choices of choosing right from wrong,
I listen for some guidance, and hear an age-old song,
Of dancing by the fire and running in the hills,
Of revelry being worship, an emptiness to fill.
In the darkness of the chamber where the molten lava flows,
I hide myself from myself, and yet He knows, He knows.
In the coldness of the embers, or the pain of iron hands,
He pushes and cajoles me, whispering a Promised Land.
But then the sound of slippered footsteps, a music in my ear,
A touch upon my shoulder - She is so very near.
Whispering Her promises by day or dark of night,
She promises Her love and more, embracing me in light.
Yes, even He most powerful of any ever been,
Cannot keep one single one from slipping into sin.
Even He, most powerful, of all the earth and sky,
Cannot keep me, a little one, from listening to a lie.
Wednesday, October 02, 1996
Daughters of Diana
"Daughters of Diana." This phrase "came to me" during World Mythology. We were not studying Greek Mythology. I jotted the phrase down and would now like to finally make some notes about it.
I would say I used to be a daughter of Diana. I was always very big on the moon aspect of the Goddess. I even did a ritual with B. out at the Diana statue in that one park.
But I am a daughter of Diana no more. I am now a daughter of Jehovah/El Shaddai. May He always protect, guide, and love me. May He never leave or abandon me.
I would say I used to be a daughter of Diana. I was always very big on the moon aspect of the Goddess. I even did a ritual with B. out at the Diana statue in that one park.
But I am a daughter of Diana no more. I am now a daughter of Jehovah/El Shaddai. May He always protect, guide, and love me. May He never leave or abandon me.
Tuesday, June 25, 1996
Gifts from God, Gifts from Them
Both Wicca and Christianity have something to offer me. On Friday at the Intervarsity going-away dinner for the Peterson's, I made contact with Melissa and had a good chat with her. On Sunday at NROOGD someone left behind a bottle of good wine {as in, a perfectly good bottle of wine, not an expensive bottle} and no one claimed it after the "potluck." It was also unopened. As one of the last people to leave I snagged it. Then I got drunk that night. So I was given something by both. God gave me a gift, and the gods gave me a gift. And I was only a teeny bit hungover - and a bath cleared most of that.
Friday, June 21, 1996
Consequences
America invited me on Thursday to a Christian thing on Friday. (It was a farewell dinner for Mike and Cindy Peterson.) I don't really know them, but I figured the dinner was a good opportunity to meet people. I had to skip the Gardnerian Solstice to go to this, since they did theirs one day late, yesterday. But I talked extensively there with a woman named Melissa, and if God wills we'll get together and talk sometime.
While God will not abandon me, He will let me suffer the consequences of my actions of such things as going to AW. When my faith ebbs due to Pagan events and contacts, He will let me experience the consequences to teach me that I shouldn't do it.
My faith it at a very low ebb right now and my interest in Wicca increases in direct proportion to my faith ebbing. I won't give up on Jehovah that easily because He's put effort toward me, but I can't deny a strong pull back. I could feel when I prayed last night that God won't give up on me because I'm still involved in Wicca, but He will let me suffer the consequences of Wiccan involvement. It is that that I am suffering now. To rescue me so easily and restore my faith would be to encourage me to go to rituals - God will rescue me so it doesn't matter what I do. So I must suffer this.
Wine can bring out reason. What has this God given me but hurt? Why should my only reason for following Him - love - be enough? He claims He's the answer, but He's not enough. Yet He gives me nothing else and expects me to follow Him?
While God will not abandon me, He will let me suffer the consequences of my actions of such things as going to AW. When my faith ebbs due to Pagan events and contacts, He will let me experience the consequences to teach me that I shouldn't do it.
My faith it at a very low ebb right now and my interest in Wicca increases in direct proportion to my faith ebbing. I won't give up on Jehovah that easily because He's put effort toward me, but I can't deny a strong pull back. I could feel when I prayed last night that God won't give up on me because I'm still involved in Wicca, but He will let me suffer the consequences of Wiccan involvement. It is that that I am suffering now. To rescue me so easily and restore my faith would be to encourage me to go to rituals - God will rescue me so it doesn't matter what I do. So I must suffer this.
Wine can bring out reason. What has this God given me but hurt? Why should my only reason for following Him - love - be enough? He claims He's the answer, but He's not enough. Yet He gives me nothing else and expects me to follow Him?
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