Three Quizzes

you are seagreen #2E8B57

Your dominant hues are cyan and green. Although you definately strive to be logical you care about people and know there's a time and place for thinking emotionally. Your head rules most things but your heart rules others, and getting them to meet in the middle takes a lot of your energy some days. Your saturation level is higher than average - You know what you want, but sometimes know not to tell everyone. You value accomplishments and know you can get the job done, so don't be afraid to run out and make things happen. Your outlook on life can be bright or dark, depending on the situation. You are flexible and see things objectively.

the spacefem.com html color quiz

Which Ringwraith are You?
By Lisa



Sam is the faithful servant of Frodo Baggins. He cares an awful lot about his master and would probably give his life for him. Though Sam meets many marvelous people as he journeys with Frodo, he still wishes he was back home in the Shire.

Take the "Which Hobbit are you?" quiz created by Cora Black!

I think Gollum fits me better. Sam is far too an awesome character for me.

No longer obese!

That's right. As of today I am finally below the magic number that makes me "obese." My BMI is 29.8 - 30 is obese, and my weight is now 190 - about 191-2 is obese for my height. Now I am merely "overweight."

Check out my graph here:
http://www.diet411.net/member.php?n=Newbirth

[does happy dance]

I have also lost half the weight I need to lose to get back to where I was before medication. I was a bit overweight even then, but I was okay with myself there. So...halfway to goal! :-)

About the March For (Some) Women's Lives

I was at a wine tasting/fund raising dinner on Saturday evening. Narsai David, old friend of my Dad's and local celebrity in this area was there, as was a family friend (who drove me), and another women seated at our end of the table. The subject of John Kerry came up, and they all agreed they would like to see Bush gone; the woman also mentioned she was at the March For Women's Lives in DC. As soon as I heard that, I thought about you and your name for it. I just sat there thinking, "How can they be so blind?" And yet, so was I at one time. All I could do was turn away and try to join another conversation because I was afraid of saying something that would make them all think me nutty. I knew anything I could say would only be counterproductive.

Yep, Dorothy, we ain't in Kansas anymore. Sometimes I really hate living here. There are so few of us conservatives that we really get drowned out.

At the race yesterday I saw soooooooooo many people carrying signs and wearing t-shirts that were either pro-Kerry or just simply anti-Bush. A lot of people were wearing t-shirts that said something like "Running for change." One woman had a hand-written sign pinned to the back of her t-shirt: "The only bush I trust is my own." In the whole race I saw ONE person - a middle aged man running with his wife - who wore a pro-Bush t-shirt. I made sure to compliment him on it as I jogged by.

I have to constantly remind myself that the whole country isn't like San Francisco because what I see around here every day is very depressing.

And now this new out of Massachusettes (sp). I tell you, signs of the end times....

Come quickly, Lord Jesus!

Book Quiz

You're Compassion Fatigue!
by Susan Moeller
You used to care, but now it's just getting too difficult. You cared about the plight of people in lands near and far, but now the media has bombarded you with images of suffering to the point that you just don't have the energy to go on. You've become cold and heartless, as though you'd lived in New York City for a year or so. But you stand as a serious example to all others that they should turn off their TV sets and start caring again.


Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.

Never heard of this book.

Two Quizzes

You are ... Victoria Shephard (NEWBIRTH)!

As everybody's favorite ex-pagan Antichrist head, God must have great things in store for you, 'cause he's been training you with every stress imaginable. Your blog reads like a bad adventure serial, with every episode ending with the heroine tied to the tracks, dangling from a cliff, or being lowered into a stew vat.(But never sitting in the basement browsing internet sites in her underwear.) You used to be a Witch, but you've been dry for many years now and haven't turned anyone into a toad since you broke up with your last boyfriend. It's HARD -- the craving to make the bozo who takes your seat on the bus hop around in a pond is nigh-impossible to resist -- BUT YOU WILL BE STRONG! *Poof* Oh, noooo .. I'm so sorry Greg, I really really didn't mean to do that... *Sob* You try so hard, you think you've got it under control and when you LEAST it expect it -- wham! This is why, although your friends love you dearly, they try not to get too close when you're in a bad mood. Witchcraft and PMS DO NOT MIX.

Which Head of the Multiheaded Antichrist are You?
brought to you by Quizilla


You're Vatican City!
You're pretty sure that you're infallible in all that you do or say, and it's hard to say whether you're right.  You have a lot of followers, most of whom will do whatever you say without question, or line up to see you ride around in your spiffy car.  Religious and reserved, you have some wisdom, but also a bit much contempt for everyone around you.  You're also fabulously wealthy, no matter what you say to the contrary.

Take the Country Quiz at the Blue Pyramid

Beltane

What a weekend! At Nancy's behest, I locked "Sutera" out of the Depression forum under several names. Then she and Leslie started in on me for my sig quote: "Furthermore, you cannot preface a question to me with 'the Christian view of homosexuality aside...' If I lay aside my principles, I lay aside everything of value." -­Joe Turner on the Protestant Christianity forum, 6/14/02 They began a very effective campaign against me to label me a "homophobe" and a "bigot." Now everyone on the forum who isn't Christian (most everybody) thinks that I hate homosexuals. *sigh*

Brian pointed out to me something I hadn't put together. I know that today is my spiritual birthday, but its connection with Beltane went unnotticed. This could be a spiritual attack from Satan. It started April 30 and was mostly over by the night of May 2. A spiritual attack on one of my old sacred days makes a lot of sense. K and co. ruins my physical birthday in January, and now Leslie and Sutera manage to ruin my spiritual birthday. I'm 8 today. :(

It is also still going on. Nancy mostly supported me in her e-mail to me and the other mod. But she didn't say anything about it on the forum. So everyone thinks that Nancy was against me. It would be nice if she would have said what she did in the e-mail in the forum. But I cannot expect even that much support. I came across Psalm 59 on my way home. What a description of my life!

And I don't like God's way. I'm tired of turning the other cheek, gosh darn it. I want REVENGE. God is not fair. At least I know Wicca and the goddess are FAIR. So I'm being mean right now. I threatened to hurt myself (or worse), and not reading the replies to me under my primarly "Newbirth" name. I'm using "Brigid7" again. I hope that if they notice I am gone and not reading replies or posting, that they will get worried that I really did do something.

My pastor's daughter

Well, the hearing was this week and temporary custody was granted to Julia's Mom's sister. Now the Crouch's (my pastor's family) have legally adopted her, but she wants "freedom" instead of the rules my pastor's family enforces, so she ran back to her birth mom. Her birth mom is more than happy to cast a spanking as "child abuse." She will also acuse anyone she can of sexually molesting her daughter. For this reason, the church has worked hard to make sure that no adult male is ever alone with Julia. The mere admission that a male might have been alone with her would look very bad.

At any rate, now there will be an investigation. I only hope it is thorough so my pastor's family can be cleared. Please pray for protection of my pastor's family from false alegations, and that the real truth will come out. Pray that Julia come to her senses and realize that the Crouch's really do care for her. Pray that God hold and guide this child through the rough years that lie ahead.

I really do feel like God's hand is on her, but sometimes I am impatient in waiting for Him to do something. Julia is 13; it will only get worse from here. She is no longer a child, but going through the "terrible teens."

Prayer Request: Depression

It's been a rough weekend so I baked some Atkins cookies and am trying to curl up and lick my wounds.

1) We've had a troll at the Depression forum who keeps coming back with more and more names. The more I ban her (at the moderator's behest) the more she reregisters stirs up people against me. I think we are up to 6 names at last count.

2) Several people there are now accusing me of being "homophobic" and a "bigot." How many people here would say that against me? It was based on the signature I used to have. Anyone here think I'm "homophobic"?

3) The people at church STILL don't think that Atkins is healthy. The fact that I've lost 16 1/2 pounds means nothing. Jane has been a little nicer to me, but there are so many naysayers. I think I need to call my doctor and have my cholesterol and such checked. Doubt that will do any good, though.

*sigh* I would really like it if my spiritual family would SUPPORT me as I lose weight.

People who have their mind made up will not be swayed by any evidence to the contrary. Ironically, this applies to all three of my points.

Meds and Weight, take 2

Real quick update. First, I don't feel as bad as I thought I would with the change in meds. Yea!

Second, my size 16 Women's jeans are hecka loose. The size 16 Old Navy jeans fit perfect. I'm afraid to wear the size 20 black jeans that my Mom bought me; I'm afraid they'll fall down.

Third, walking up the hill to Sequoia church yesterday was easier than last month, which was easier than the month before. I don't get out of breath anymore! :)

Fourth, Brian pointed out to me that if I am being disciplined by God for what I did by being set in, as he put it, "time out," then it proves that I belong to God. I found that somewhat comforting.

Size 16!, take 2

I'm wearing size 16 jeans today, so I am doing good! The 18s are just too loose anymore. They look sloppy on me. So I'm down a size (or is that 2 sizes?)! I have a pair of brand new 14s in my closet. That is my ultimate goal - to get back to 14 since that is what I used to wear. Can't button them right now, but I will get there!

Meds and Weight

Well, the amount of Zoloft I take is down to 50mg now, and I'm up to the full doseage of Wellbutrin - 150mg twice a day. But I can feel my depression and anxiety beginning to return. I really hope the new med works, and soon.

I've lost 16 pounds now, another 3 last week. :) I use my FitDay journal to track my eating and my weight (food entries delayed one day - click the arrows to read previous entries), and Diet411 to track just my weight.

Finally a good day!

Started my night doses of Wellbutrin last night, no insomnia. Yea! Got up this morning, doing well on my diet again after last weekend's problems.

Got my body fat taken today at the fitness center - down another 2.3%. :) Had a good workout, felt much better than yesterday.

I'm nearly done with the "Glorious Appearing" book.

Stopped at the mall to buy some stuff at Safeway, saw a storewide sale at Mervyn's. Got a new pair of excercise pants, which I needed anyway, and two cute pairs of summer sandels for $15 apiece (not needed). ;)

Made it to work and discovered that my Lord of the Rings movie posters arrived! Yea! :)

Body fat down!

Body fat was taken today - 35.5%. My start was 37.8%, and last month was 37.2%. All I can say is Atkins works. I lost significantly more body fat the month on Atkins than the month before I started dieting.

Utter failure

Utter failure today. Breakfast no prob: Chocolate Royale Atkins shake - 2 carbs. The lunch potluck was a problem, with only four foods to choose from, three starchy, what could I do? There was brown rice (which I ate a lot of), and it was mixed with a cream soup and small pieces of chicken, and pot stickers (I had several), and spaghetti (I had none). All the drinks were sugary, so I had ice water. There were also green beans and I took way more than my portion. Dinner was at a buffet and I chose lots of meat, but a lot of it was basted in sugary sauces. I also had a few veggies, and a couple hot dogs smoothered with cheese sauce (no bun of course). Three glasses of diet Coke (I was very thirsty). No dessert. All in all, I must have eaten a couple HUNDRED carbs. :(

I feel TERRIBLE about myself! :-(

Starting new med

I started to wean off the Zoloft last night, and started the Wellbutrin SR this morning. I was on 200mg Zoloft (maximum dose), so I dropped it to 100mg (normal dose). Next I will drop it to 75mg by taking 100mg and 50mg capsules on alternating days. (They are capsules and so cannot be cut.) I know from experience that I'll be okay on 100mg; but drop me to 75mg and I have problems.

For the first week on Wellbutrin SR I am supposed to take 150mg once a day (in the morning since it can cause insomnia). Once my body adjusts to 150mg, I'll go up to a regular dose of 150mg twice a day.

Overall, I'm nervous about the change. I feel a bit jittery today, probably from the Wellbutrin, but overall I'm okay. The big test will be if I can get a decents night's sleep tonight.

Holy Week is the Week From Hell!

The week between Palm Sunday and Easter Sunday is always one of the busiest and most stressful of the year. This year - Monday was the mail run into the City, Tuesday was Curves, Wednesday was massage therapy, Thursday was Curves, Friday was Good Friday which meant a three hour service at St. Paul's, Saturday was my regular church in the morning and St. Cuthbert's at night for Easter Vigil, and Sunday was Easter Sunday services.

On Palm Sunday at St. Paul's they said they needed readers for the Good Friday service, so I asked if I could help and they said yes. I was the first reader in the second hour and the reading was Jeremiah 20:7-11. What that has to do with Good Friday I have no clue.

At St. Cuthbert's Easter Vigil service they asked for help with the "Intercessions,"which means reading given prayers. I volunteered for that. I like to help out.

Easter Sunday morning I was supposed to go to St. Paul's for services, but I got on the wrong bus. I took the 62 down to Lake Merritt BART, and had a 25-30 minute wait, and then was supposed to catch the 11. My mind was elsewhere and when another 62 came along before the 11, I got on it. This would have made me late for church, and missing the opening song would be terrible (it is always "Christ the Lord is Risen Today"), so I decided to go to City Church in San Francisco. I made it there with plenty of time to spare. My first Easter service there.

Janice was there so we got to catch up a bit after the service. (She was late and shuttled upstairs, but snuck downstairs during communion.) She said I looked different and I got to tell her about my excercise and weight loss. My first ever unsolicited compliment!

My new medication arrived yesterday. I am going to wait a few days until my stress reduces before I start. This is not a good time to be changing medications, especially one with a known side effect of anxiety. :-p

So, Holy Week was the week from hell. At least with Easter I feel closer to forgiving K and co. God has forgiven them, so really there's nothing I can do but get mad at God, and I know from experience how pointless that is.

First Unsolicited Compliment!

I got my first unsolicited compliment today!

It's Easter Sunday and I was planning on going to go to the Episcopal Church. I got on the wrong bus and would be late, but I still had time to make it to City Church (sort of my second home church - I'm not a member, but I love it), so I headed over there.

At the communion my friend came and sat next to me. She had come in late and was forced into the balcony, but communion provided enough people moving around for her to sneak downstairs and sit next to me.

After the service we talked because I haven't been to that church in about 2 months. She said I looked different! And then I told her I'd been working out and eating low carb.

That is the first time anyone has said anything to me about how I look without my bringing it up first!

Certainly good motivation to continue. :o)

She wanted me to come back to her house with her for lunch, and then to see The Passion, but alas, I had to work. :(

Oh yeah, I had a piece of cake yesterday. My pastor's family was throwing a birthday party for their youngest daughter (turned 11), and the cake was chocolate so I had one piece. I managed to stay away from the ice cream and jelly beans, though. :) And today at City Church they had so many muffins and cookies and such. I'm proud to say I didn't eat any! :-D

Size 16!

My size 16 shorts fit me this morning! Yea!

:-D

Insanity Central

Wednesday of Holy Week

So busy this week. Saturday night I forgot to set my clock forward, so when I woke up a half hour early (so I thought), I was actually a half hour late. I have never gotten dressed so fast. I need to take an earlier bus on Easter Sunday, because I was nearly late to Palm Sunday services.

I've forgotten how a large crowd sounds when singing. Saturday at church we did "All Glory, Laud, and Honor." Sunday we did the song at the Episcopal church (it's a Palm Sunday song - I did not know that!), and the sound just BLEW me away! A large number of people singing in comparison with our little crowd at church. WOW! What a difference.

At church on Sunday they announced that they still needed readers for the Good Friday service. I asked about being able to read, and they were very receptive. I'm going to be there anyway, so why not help out? I signed up to be the first reader in the second hour. :)

I have to get up early every day this week. Sunday I was up at 7:30 a.m. (8:30 by the new time). Monday I was up at 9:30 to run into the City. Tuesday I was up at 10:30 to work out at Curves before work. Today I was up at 8 to have a session of massage therapy before work (I should have scheduled it for some other week than this one). Tonight I have to do laundry because if I wait until Thursday, I won't get enough sleep Thursday night. Tomorrow I will be up at 10:30 for Curves again, and Friday I haven't figured out yet, but I have to be at the church by noon. Saturday I have to be up at 8 as usual for church, and Easter Sunday I need to be up between 7 and 8. I haven't had a sleep in day for over a week, and I'm already exhausted, with the busiest days of this insanity still ahead. :-p

Since eating low carb I've managed to lose more weight. Last week I lost 5 pounds! And when I went to counseling last Tuesday, climbing the hill to the church was a little easier than last month. I am definitely getting stronger!

Xena is two years old. Her (estimated) birthday was yesterday. How can she be two already? It was just yesterday that she was a 1 1/4 pound grey cottonball.

My doctor put me on Wellbutrin the last time I saw him. I am still waiting for the meds to arrive from Canada, but they should be here soon. He said I could start taking the Wellbutrin before weaning completely off the Zoloft. I'm nervous. I've never switched medication before. Wellbutrin is supposed to be good for a lower incidence of weight gain, which is why I asked for it, but it also doesn't touch seratonin in the brain, only norepinephrin and dopamine. I hope it works. If not, I'll have to try another SSRI.

I don't know the exact day she was born, so I just picked April 6th as a near approximation. I actually brought her home in mid-May, but I prefer to celebrate her birthday since I have a vague idea of when it falls. With Abby I have to celebrate the day I found her because I don't even know what YEAR she was born!

I took a couple pictures of Xena last night, but they are still on my camera. I won't be able to get them up until after Easter; this week is totally insane and I'm not getting enough sleep, much less have time for editing and uploading pictures.

At any rate, the little 1 1/4 pound grey cotton ball is all grown up and weighs over 10 1/2 pounds as of her last vet visit. She's not as social as I'd like - my fault for not socializing her as well as I should have when she was a kitten - but she's not afraid of humans; she simply doesn't like being held. She was so cute this morning as I was leaving for work. I had to pet her and kiss her. I can't believe she's already two! Where did the time go?