Conference Journal, Day 4

The BJC Issue - Still With Us
Day 4
Wednesday, August 1

I sure am sleeping better with no roommate this year. I love it! :)

After breakfast was morning worship. After it was finished, while waiting for morning Bible study to begin, I saw an announcement about checking airport transportation at registration. I walked to registration and I was not on the list! I wrote my name and airline down, along with the day and approximate time. I'll go back later and give them my flight number and exact time.

The morning Bible study was on Christ being Divine. Pretty basic stuff that all SDBs would believe. Then came the Tract Counsel presentation. They always present their information in a funny skit. They get great attendance! I skipped the next presentations and took some time to post here, then went to lunch.

At lunch they finally had something I could eat - burgers! I got two without the bun, and used my low-carb bread on one to make a proper burger. But there was no cheese! :( I also had a heaping serving of hot veggies (various squashes), and a large salad from the salad bar. No-sugar-added hot cocoa (brought from home) was "dessert."

After lunch was more business in the auditorium with the reading and adoption of various reports. My committee had a couple of issues referred to us, one of them involving the Baptist Joint Committee and that we should send them a letter asking for dialogue. Someone broke down the numbers to percentages and 54% of the votes were to stay and 46% were to leave. That's a close vote. Of course, the BJC had to spin it in their favor:

Strengthening The Baptist Coalition

Word on the street is that Seventh-Day Baptists have voted to remain affiliated with the Baptist Joint Committee at their General Conference. That's fabulous news! Baptists everywhere are reclaiming our heritage of religious liberty for all, a cause best served through a strong commitment to the separation of church and state: that means a robust Establishment Clause and an equally healthy Free Exercise protection. In my view, simply put, there is no more effective religious voice in Washington, D.C. for that principle than Brent Walker, Holly Hollman and the Baptist Joint Committee, a Baptist institution that has been educating and advocating on Capitol Hill for more than 70 years.

They hail this as a victory when it was in fact a very close vote, and I know for a fact that some people voted to stay in the BJC simply because no dialogue with them had occurred, no attempt to work our the concerns we have. I think once this dialogue takes place (and accomplishes nothing), then another vote some time in the future will have very different results. It won't happen anytime soon, but I believe SDBs will eventually leave the BJC.

At any rate, our committee hammered out a proposal relatively painlessly of who should write a letter to the BJC and the kinds of things it should say (express our concerns and open dialogue). With that, my committee's work was done for the week and I can now more fully enjoy vacation.

When we finished it was still an hour until dinner time, so I went to the fitness center and walked on the treadmill for a while. Then I had dinner and relaxed a bit before evening worship. The theme for evening worship was "God with us." After the service was the usual - fellowship time with some snacks and then bed.

Technorati tagged: Bible, Baptist, God, Jesus, Christ, Christian, Christianity, conference, diet, low carb, NutriSystem

Mutants, meters, and muscle

Calories eaten Thursday: 1516
Fat: 75g (46%)
Carbs: 39g (11%)
Protein: 91g (25%)
Calories burned in exercise: 247

Calories eaten Friday: 1869
Fat: 98g (50%)
Carbs: 48g (11%)
Protein: 113g (26%)
Calories burned in exercise: 197

I'm a mutant. No really, I am. I don't fit in anywhere except with other mutants. The people at church all know I'm a mutant. I'm uncouth and say the wrong things. I'm not big on everything being sparkling clean. I follow the "10 second rule" when I drop food. I touch food (they believe touching is bad, even if you just washed your hands). I dye my hair weird colors. I eat a strange diet because I refuse to stuff myself with carbs. I'm sick of being an outsider simply because I don't follow all their prim and proper rules - act like they think I should, never say anything wrong, dye my hair natural looking colors, and eat a diet of carbs, carbs, and more carbs. Metabolic and weight issues don't matter. Eating low-carb simply isn't normal.

Today, after yet another faux pau I quietly took my plate into another room at the church and finished eating alone. Then I started cleaning up. I like cleaning up - it's an alone job. But even in this I make faux paus - today I threw out what was left of Jane's salad and Jane said I shouldn't have. In my zeal to combine things so I can get the dishes washed I've done things like put tomatoes into Becky's salad and she gets mad at me because the tomatos were watery and would make the lettuce wilt. Only one person has thanked me for cleaning up every week - Pastor Brent. No one else notices or cares.

Quite simply, I can't do anything right. Why am I even there? I'll never fit in at any church. Pastor Rick Warren said that every church has its black sheep that doesn't fit in. I know who that is in my church - me.

In every church and in every small group there is always at least one "difficult" person, usually more than one. These people may have special emotional needs, deep insecurities, irritating mannerisms, or poor social skills. You might call them EGR people - "Extra Grace Required." (The Purpose Driven Life, pg. 149)

My item on eBay sold quickly - the very next day. Yay! I did find one problem with my listing - I actually only had 125 strips, not 150. I put in a different box of strips (with an eariler expiration date) so that the buyer would receive 150. I hope she doesn't notice. :-p Anyway, the meter and 150 test strips are sold and will be mailed on Monday when I do my city run to mail the rest of my Christmas presents out - the Vicki box and a diabetic organizer for Dad.

Moderate exercise can bring high blood sugar down. My blood sugar was 99 Friday morning, up from 89 the night before. I had coffee and my vitamins but no breakfast. 3 1/2 hours later it had crept up to 102. So I jumped on my exercise bike for a 1/2 hour and that got my blood sugar down to 93.

I got another compliment at the gym on Thursday. :) A couple guys were doing heavy lifting with free weights and one of them told me I was working out hard - I was curling a 20 pound dumbbell at the time - and I showed him my biceps and he asked if I was on steroids! What a nice compliment. :)

Technorati tagged: atkins, diet, atkins diet, low carb, weight loss, obesity, obese, overweight, fat, exercise, fitness, diabetes, glucose meter, church

Letter to the Editor

A letter to the editor of the Sabbath Recorder, the official magazine for my denomination. They did not publish it.


Dear Editor,

This letter has been a long time in coming. This issue has been niggling at my mind for a while, and I just can’t keep silent any longer. People may disagree with me—I may even be way off—but I have to go out on a limb and speak up.

I hear a lot of talk about the Sabbath in this magazine and at my church. This is not a bad thing. We need to wrestle with and define how this issue effects us individually and as a Sabbath keeping community. What I see is some double-mindedness when it comes to how the Sabbath is kept. I can’t speak for how widespread a problem this may be, but I suspect the problem may go beyond my church.
People go out to eat between the Sabbath hours, every week. People also shop for the evening meal Sabbath afternoon. This specifically violates the commandment to give your slaves and servants rest that day, along with yourself. After all, aren’t restaurant workers who serve us acting in the capacity of our servants? Aren’t grocery store checkers the same? Isn’t that what God gave us Friday for—to prepare for the Sabbath?

I understand the problems people encounter that keep us from keeping the Sabbath wholly holy. I understand that we have children, appointments, second jobs, and other things that eat away at the edges of the Sabbath and keep us busy long after dark Friday evening, with no time to prepare meals and so forth for the following day. But how can we expect God to bless us if we are hypocrites, saying one thing about the holiness of the Sabbath, and doing another?

He can’t. He won’t. I’ve asked myself over and over since joining this church what makes our denomination so small, and the Adventists so large. And I’ve come to this conclusion: one reason they are blessed with growth when we are not is because what they say about the Sabbath, they do.

Not only that, but they set a good example for their children. What kind of an example are we setting? I had one young adult, raised in the church, tell me that while she believed in the Sabbath concept, she wasn’t convinced that Saturday was the day. In other words, why couldn’t any day suffice? Another lady in my church had our double standard thrown back in her face by one of her little kids. When told she couldn’t go to the mall on Saturday, the child responded that we eat out, so what’s the difference? Folks, we are going to lose our children to the world!

I write this in all sincerity, as one struggling sinner to another. I love this church, and I believe in what we teach. But I fear that our lack of growth may be due, in part, to two factors totally within our control: One, that we are not serious in our Sabbath keeping practices. This turns prospective new members off, leading them to other churches that practice what they preach. Two, we may be losing our own young people, our most precious asset. It could all be turned around with a little extra planning the rest of the week so that our Sabbaths can truly be Sabbaths.
We need to educate ourselves and our children on this issue, and call ourselves back to holiness. Then God will bless us and we will grow.

In Christ,
Victoria Shephard

What Is Our Role?

[Note: Not sure exactly when this was written, but my file says the last update was Oct. 31, 2000, so I'll go with that.]

I’ve often wondered, what is my role as a woman in the Seventh Day Baptist church? What is my role in my local congregation, and in the denomination as a whole? What role does God want women to play in their churches?

The controversy over the ordination of woman is one that has touched most every Christian denomination, Catholic and Protestant alike. Ours is no exception.

Some people argue that since the Bible says "There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free man, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus" (Galatians 3:28), that therefore women can be ordained and hold any position in the church that they so choose or that they feel God is calling them to.
Other people say that since the Bible says "But I do not allow a woman to teach or exercise authority over a man, but to remain quiet" (1 Timothy 2:12), that women should not be pastors or teachers, unless they are teaching other woman, or children.

How do we reconcile these seemingly contradictory verses to discover God’s will for us women?

First, let me say that there are many fine people on both sides of this issue, even right here in this denomination. I would not presume on any person’s salvation for not agreeing with my views because we are not saved by theology, but by faith. I do not wish to impugn or disparage those in our denomination who are woman pastors. I offer this article in Christian love, to give another perspective than that often espoused.

Certainly there are many times when woman have great privileges in the church. In the Old Testament Deborah was a prophetess and judge. She spoke for God to Israel, and showed great leadership qualities when it came to saving Israel from her oppressing Canaanite neighbors. Moses’ sister Miriam was a prophetess.

We also find prophetesses mentioned in the New Testament. In Acts 21:9 we find a Philip with "four virgin daughters who were prophetesses." And in Acts 2:36, as Jesus is being presented at the temple when He was eight days old, we find the prophetess Anna recognizing Him as the Messiah and proclaiming that in the temple. So woman obviously do have a role. The question exactly is, "What role?"

Let’s begin with Galatians 3:28. I contend that the meaning of this verse is not that woman can hold any office they want, but simply that all people can be forgiven in Christ, that there are no people that have more privileges than others before God. God does not play favorites.

The basic thrust is unity (1), that the Gospel is for all and all are saved on the same basis for the same purpose of service. We are one in Christ. The verse before this talks about how we are all baptized into Christ, and the verse after talks about how if we belong to Christ, we are Abraham’s descendants. It has nothing to do with women being pastors or teachers. To use this verse to prove that is nothing more than reading into the text what isn’t there.

Let’s move onto 1 Timothy 2:12. For the record it states, "But I do not allow a woman to teach or exercise authority over a man, but to remain quiet." First, this verse cannot mean that a woman is never to speak in church for 1 Corinthians 11:5 states that "every woman who has her head uncovered while praying or prophesying disgraces her head, for she is one and the same as the woman whose head is shaved." We can see from this verse that woman were allowed to pray and prophecy in the churches, which certainly involved public speaking!

First Timothy 2:12 states very clearly, in language that cannot be mistaken, that women cannot be pastors and teachers in the church, since she is not to exercise authority over a man and any woman preaching to the congregation is de facto head over every man there. Moreover, vv. 13-14 gives the reasons she should not teach or preach: Adam was created first and then Eve. If Paul had meant his admonition to only be applicable to a certain city or a certain time, he would not have traced his reason back to creation.

So there is a division of roles between the sexes in the church. Some positions are better held my men, and some by woman. As we saw in Galatians, no person is more important than any other person, and no role is more important than any other role. God has set the boundaries of what roles can be played by who, and we should abide by those if we call ourselves Christians. This raises the question, "If women cannot be pastors or teachers, what roles can they play?"

First, while a woman cannot be head over a man, she can certainly teach Sabbath School to the children (as indeed a mother would do with her children, instilling the love of God in them from a young age).

Secondly, there are many acts of service that she can do for the church. Perhaps she can set up the church for the services, or help out with the potluck or clean up after the service and fellowship are over. Maybe the church bulletin needs to be made and photocopied each week. Perhaps she can collect used clothes for poorer members of the congregation (see Acts 9:39 for another idea along these lines). There are any number of jobs around the church that she can help out with.

Third, and more pertinent to the more active role that many women wish to play in the church today, she can be a deaconess. Scholar Samuele Bacchiocchi has this to say about deaconesses. "Female deacons were needed in the early centuries when the sexes could not mingle freely. According to the Didascalia they performed a great variety of services in the care of women, including assistance at the baptism and burial of women, the catechizing of women and caring for sick women at home. They never functioned, however, as heads of the community, but served in a role auxiliary to that of the pastors, elders and bishops." (2)

Fourth and last, they can exercise a prophetic ministry, if God has given them that spiritual gift. This has nothing to do with showy sign-gifts and everything to do with "edification, encouragement, counseling and consolation. The chapter most descriptive of the prophetic ministry is found in 1 Corinthians 14. Here Paul explains that the person ‘who prophesies speaks to men for their upbuilding and encouragement and consolation. . . . He who prophesies edifies the church’ (1 Cor 14:3-4; cf. Acts 15:21)." (3)

So while it might be hard sometimes for us women to grapple with the question of our role in the body of Christ, the Bible gives us everything we need to know about what God says our role should be. I know I am only beginning to explore this subject, and only beginning to define the role I should play. But that’s okay. As a popular bumper sticker proclaims, "God ain’t finished with me yet!"

We should all pray, asking God to show us where He wants us and what we should do. We should all speak with love toward one another, not criticizing others for their differing views, but discussing with them. Above all, we should remember that we are all brothers and sisters in Christ, regardless of our feelings on this matter.


1 Text note on Gal. 3:28, New American Standard Study Bible (Grand Rapids, Michigan), pg. 1711.
2 Samuele Bacchiocchi, Woman in the Church (Chap. 2)
3 Ibid., Chap. 2

A Look Back at 1999: Field of (Broken) Dreams

In grade school I used to think about how old I would be when the millennium turned and I figured I’d be 28 going on 29. Now that time is here. Where have the years gone? I can now easily remember events that took place two decade—decades—ago. But I am here to focus on this last year, not the last 28. I’m doing this without the benefit of going through my journals from the past year, simply because I don’t feel like going through the trouble. So what is written here represents the things that stick out in my own memory.

In contrast to all my past essays—whose very titles always included the word change—this year had remarkably little change. There was a move, to be sure, but the stability that marked this year was unusual. For example, I held the same job all year, at Family Radio.

Speaking of Family Radio, I can’t be sure exactly when I became aware of how much the Statement of Belief issued by Family Radio in the fall of 1998 would effect me. It was either December of 1998 or January of 1999. The late date of all the changes that occurred caused me to say little about this in my essay last year. But there came that time in one of those months where I knew that I would have to sign to be a producer. And I chose not to. That led to me staying on in Network Control, eventually getting the full time overnight shift in the summer of this year. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

In the spring I was kicked out of the place I was living with the lesbian woman. Even though I was only looking for places to sublet in San Francisco, I found a place to live in Oakland. This was difficult for me because I wanted to live in the City so bad. So this was in many ways the end of a dream.

Come to think of it, I gave up a lot of dreams this year. I gave up my dream of being a producer, for either shortwave or domestic (this could have been December, but I’ll not nit-pick). I gave up my dream of being in the City. And I gave up the perfect swing shift offered to me.

It happened like this. In the summer I was moved to the swing shift just in time for Don, who worked the overnight shift, to quit. They moved me to his shift until they could permanently fill it. Right at this point, out of the blue, an idea, a question, that had been percolating in the back of my mind for a long time, came to the fore. I had to know what day of rest the Christian was commanded to keep. I knew that Pastor Innes taught rest on Sundays, and many church members tried to do just that. I had, in fact, been keeping a "Sunday Sabbath" for quite a while, and found it a great time management technique for someone overwhelmed with work and school.

Now I began my search in earnest. I read everything I could get my hands on, and asked lots of questions. I talked to Pastor Sneedin. I did Internet searches. And I finally visited the Bay Area Seventh Day Baptist Church, something I had been meaning to do for a long time and just had "never gotten around to." The pastor there, Pastor Steve, gave me Samuele Bacchiocchi’s book From Sabbath To Sunday. I spent many nights at work pouring over that book and contemplating its message.

Time was short. I had to make a decision, at least a preliminary one, before someone was hired or I would have to work Saturdays. (The shift I had been offered was swing, Tuesday-Saturday.) When I was more sure than not sure, I asked first that when I went to the swing shift, that I be given Friday and Saturday as my days off instead of Sunday and Monday. They said they could not accommodate me. I then asked to be kept on the overnight shift. (This shift was Sunday-Thursday night so it gave me the Sabbath off.) They said they had already hired someone and as soon as his training was complete, I would be transferred to swing. I was told this person could not work swing. That ruined the backup plan I had.

I spent many nights at work crying and praying that things would work out so I could keep the Sabbath. I felt God telling me to sit tight and wait for him. Less than a week before I was to start working Sabbaths, the news came: the guy they hired had not worked out and I could keep the overnight shift if I wanted. I was overjoyed! Though I do not like this shift, I feel it is God’s will for me at this time. That makes it a little easier.

Additionally, since the time I started working at Family Radio I have been moved from one department to another. This move to the graveyard shift marked my first permanent full-time shift in one department. I am grateful for that stability. (Last year I worked full time between two departments, three days a week for Karen, and two nights a week in Network Control. That lasted 8-9 months. This year I worked full time day shift in Network Control, but that was always understood to be temporary.)

Between my work schedule (8-9 months of working Friday and Saturday overnights, leaving me exhausted on Sunday), and people getting married, plus a dearth of pastors at Hamilton leading to a dearth of church-based programs, all added up to a big lack of fellowship. While I loved my church, while a part of me felt I should remain loyal, the need in my soul said otherwise. I wanted out.

I left at a time when two new pastors were just coming on staff and getting to know "the ropes." I left at a time, when, if I would have stayed just a little longer, I may have found a reason to stay. But the damage had already been done. I wanted out and the only thing that remained was to find the way.

I left for six weeks, visiting other area churches, looking for one to join. I thought God was calling me back to Hamilton, so in obedience I went back—for two weeks. That was about the time the SDBs entered the picture, and I left (for what turned out to be) for good. I did not leave over the Sabbath issue; I left over fellowship issues. My needs simply weren’t being met anymore. That may seem selfish. I defend it as self-preservation.

Since the time I began attending the SDB church, I have not left. There was a short transition period of about two weeks, but I was looking for a way out of Hamilton, and this provided that out. I dropped membership at Hamilton in August, and joined the SDB church in September. They are a small church and so the fellowship is wonderful.

I guess a wrap-up of this year wouldn’t be complete without mentioning Mike in passing. I really thought I was in love—actually, yes, I was—and I don’t know what fell apart or why. He only said that we had our issues to work on, and they needed to be worked on separately. He naively said he wanted to just be “friends.” I know that never works out and rejected that. That was early December and we have not spoken since. This is the first time I’ve "dated" (even if it was long distance—we met on the Internet) since I was saved. It is hard to have your heart broken. How do you forgive a brother in Christ for something like that? I dreamed of him being my husband. Now that dream, too, is gone.

After that lowlight of the year, perhaps I should mention the highlight: Charles’ visit in September, and his short layover at the airport two weeks later in October. He was here on business in September and spent a few days here. We got to spend real, good quality time together, the first and likely last time that will happen. But it filled a long-standing desire within me, the desire to spend some time with the dear man who led me to Christ. We spent lots of time talking and one day gallivanting around the City. I came away from that feeling satisfied. God has been gracious to me to give me that time with him, something so long desired, so long denied.

So here I stand wondering where the year went. It always seems so short by the time December comes. And I am also at the edge of a new millennium. What will the millennium bring? If the last year of the old millennium was marked by a lack of change, what of the new year, and—where I will spend the rest of my life—the new millennium? I am aware of the blessing of being alive at this time to see this new millennium come. And I know that whatever happens, whether there is much change or little in 2000, God will be with me through it all.

Meeting with the Pastor

Talked to the pastor at the Baptist church today (the one across the street from the UUs). He was pretty understanding when I talked about how I can't commit to God 100%. He gave a couple practical suggestions. First, that I should start in the NT with Matthew and read 5-10 chapters a day (because I have time since it's summer). He also recommended their discipleship program, where I would meet with someone for one hour once a week for study and prayer. They took my name, address, and phone and said someone would be in contact within a week. The whole meeting lasted, give or take, about 45 minutes. Oh, the discipleship program is 12 weeks long.

It was nice to talk with the pastor, but I have to keep my church searching to myself. I don't feel drawn to join their church. I feel drawn to St. Mary's Catholic Church, and I really like the Episcopals - all the Catholic ritual without the communion restrictions and some of the dogma. Yet I'm continually drawn to St. Mary's and I don't know why.

I also talked to the pastor today about the two dreams I had, about the concert, and a little about my Paganism. It was good that he wasn't condemning of me.