Thursday, January 21, 1999

poem: Soft Butterfly

{Later note: I work for a Christian employer. I wrote this during a particularly hard time at work last winter, my first real experience of seeing how badly Christians could hurt other Christians, whether or not they meant to. The witch hunt against Catholics, Adventists, Mormons, Jehovah's Witnesses, and others touched everybody in one way or another. It was only by the grace of God my job was spared. This was a time of testing for me as I was confronted with hard choices of God and career and faith. I can see God's hand protecting me every step of the way. Sometimes He allows things to happen that are not His perfect will, but He will walk beside us. "I will never leave you nor forsake you." I praise Him for this promise.}

Soft Butterfly
Darkness flutters down landing
Soft on my shoulders,
Weighing like brick, crushing.
Anger rises to meet the darkness,
Fear swells.
I let it wash over me,
Exulting in merely being.
It covers, smothers, passes.
I cry,
Standing alone in my conviction, alone in my pain.
I thought there were no more tears--
I was wrong.
I thought my own brothers and sisters would not hurt me--
I was a fool.
We pay a price when we trust in circumstances
Instead of in God,
In others
Instead of in Christ,
In ourselves
Instead of in the Spirit.
Heal the pain, oh great Jehovah!
Give me peace
And teach me to forgive
As I have been forgiven, for
Darkness has fluttered down landing
Soft on my shoulders.