Monday, June 30, 2003

Sometimes We Win One

This is old news, but worth recording. Saturday morning I woke up to read in the forums that Veronica has asked Christ into her life on Friday morning. Evidentally, the thing to push her over the edge was a talk she had with God Thursday night, and then the first post she read Friday morning (Brian writing to Clip) touched on that same subject.

I thanked God on my way home from work Sunday, thanking Him for what He's done so far, and praying for her growth in Him. I also thanked Him for all the work Socrates invested in her, answering her questions, and challenging her.

Despite all this, I knew she would come to Him, knew it was just a matter of time and that I just needed to wait on God. Some people you know don't stand a chance. ;) She's been hanging out at EW for a couple years now, and has consistently stayed with us, and drawn closer to God.

I think that's the key - does the person draw closer over time, or stay at the same distance, or worse, retreat further? It is those people who could go either way and you don't know. Right now Wolf is like that, and I see it in Chris, though she says she has crossed the line, and there's a good chance she really has.

Sunday, June 29, 2003

Gay Pride Day, take 3

Final tally: one AC Transit bus, one BART train, three Muni busses, and three hours. It should take only one AC bus, one BART train, one Muni bus, and about an hour and a half.

Gay Pride Day, take 2

I just set a new record for the longest time ever getting to church - three hours even. I arrived just after church let out. To get there I took a 14 Mission south, a 47 Van Ness northwest, and finally a 38 Geary west. I got to the church at 1 p.m. No sign of Carol or Janice, so the morning was a complete and total loss. Next year, I will stay home. They win. No point in even trying. I have better things to do with my time than spend three hours getting to church.

I love this City so much and hate to see such pride in sin. It quite literally makes me sick. God is not here.

Or rather He is. In small enclaves there are groups of His people. Such a minority, so outnumbered. Lord, for the sake of Your remnant, have mercy. Kyrie eleison. Pray with me for my beloved City. Kyrie eleison.

Gay Pride Day

"Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps." --Emo Phillips

This was one of those mornings.

So here I sit on a bus on Sunday morning in San Francisco, trying to get to church. The Gay Pride Day parade is preventing me. I left the house at 10 this morning. It is now past 11:30 and I am still downtown, crawling along on a 14 Mission bus that is stuck in traffic. The 38 Geary was nowhere to be found, even though I went to the Transbay Terminal. Market street is closed for several blocks, so Mission is getting all the traffic. In the last half hour we've gone 6 blocks. I think I will set a new record today for the amount of time and number of busses to get to this church.

I don't know when or if I will make it to City Church. Maybe in time for communion at the end of the service. Maybe not.

I told another lady on the bus, also trying to get to church, that I should have stayed in bed. She said that God honors our efforts. Somehow that made me feel better.

I will write more later and update.

Friday, June 27, 2003


Yesterday was payday. All the money was literally gone before I got it, so I find myself once more with no money and two weeks until payday. :-p I am getting some medical reimburcement, which will go into checking to buy food, and Dad is sending me some money, but I had hoped to put it back into savings as I've taken so much money out recently.

Sunday, June 22, 2003


Another church was doing a yard sale yesterday in the parking lot, so while Rocky was casting "demons" out of people I went out to look at the wares. I ended up buying a spaghetti strap shirt for sleeping, a blue denim hat, a lime green bath towel, and pink bunny ears. :-D I have no use for the bunny ears, but there was no way I was passing them up!

A bunch of us from the church sat in the foyer talking while Rocky did his thing, and some of us also went to the 7-11 for Slurpies. I had a blue one (of course!). It was a relaxing day, with perfect weather.

Conference is coming up in just 40 some-odd days and I still don't have my registration in. Perhaps when I get paid on Thursday. Also need to pay for my plane ticket.

A Holy Alphabet

A lthough things are not perfect
B ecause of trial or pain
C ontinue in thanksgiving
D o not begin to blame
E ven when the times are hard
F ierce winds are bound to blow
G od is forever able
H old on to what you know
I magine life without His love
J oy would cease to be
K eep thanking Him for all the things
L ove imparts to thee
M ove out of "Camp Complaining"
N o weapon that is known
O n earth can yield the power
P raise can do alone
Q uit looking at the future
R edeem the time at hand
S tart every day with worship
T o "thank" is a command
U ntil we see Him coming
V ictorious in the sky
W e'll run the race with gratitude
X alting God most high
Y es, there'll be good times and yes some will be bad, but...
Z ion waits in glory...where none are ever sad!

--Author Unknown

The Rocky Path

I've had a night to think about yesterday, and I am deeply disturbed by it. To believe Rocky Peterson, one would have to believe that pretty much every person in the world, including just about every Christian, has several demons each.

Even more disturbing that pastor gave this guy the pulpit. What kind of church am I in anyway? I think I need to talk to Pastor Steve. It probably won't do any good, them being friends and all, but I think it needs to be said by somebody.

As Brian so aptly put it on EW: Look at the NT -- Paul doesn't waste time telling people to seek out the particular demon of hatred, adultery, oppression, whatever. These things are caused by the FLESH, not by demons. Sure, demons can TEMPT you toward them, but it's the flesh that holds you in 'em.

Weird Sabbath Service

I'm not even sure where to start, or how to keep this short.

We had a speaker at church yesterday, Rocky Peterson...he runs a Chistian camp/conference center in Southern California, and does deliverence, but not in the way we often think of it. There were a lot of red flags that went up (like the mention of Bob Larson), yet I can also see that he does some good, so I'm not prepared to condemn him.

He spoke at length, and then people could go aside privately and he would work on helping them to get rid of their demons. I can deal with the idea of Christians being oppressed by demons, and having the authority of Christ over them, but the whole idea of spirits of hate, adultery, anger, etc....that sent up more red flags. If it works, great, but spirits? - I have reservations.

I will say this. We occationally have this crazy guy, David, show up at the church from time to time. He knows he'll get a free meal out of it and that we won't totally shun him for his psychosis, so he drops by from time to time, but blessedly he hasn't for a while. I have trouble thinking it's coincidence that he just happens to show back up the same day this guest speaker comes. Rocky was going off to see if he could help him at all when Anita and I finally left.

At least Eric was at church, so we had some cool music for once. :-)

Thursday, June 19, 2003

Unlucky 13

Went to the dr. yesterday to get a new prescription - I have gained 13 pds. since my last appointment 6 months ago! That's what...a pound every other week?!


What am I going to do? I'm over 200 pounds now. :...( I was always a very respectable 170-175...stayed there for many years...a tad overweight, but as long as I was stable, I decided that I'd like myself that way. And I did. I became comfortable with my body.

And then Zoloft came along and it was a miracle drug and lifted my depression....I felt normal again. But to gain...what...about 30 pounds, almost half of that in the last 6 months alone? That is depressing.

I also have to see a podiatrist...the dr. said it is an infection under the nail..she said it's so misformed it may just have to be removed. Will make an appointment with that dr. tomorrow (he's already gone today). I want to be able to wear sandels again! It doesn't just looks real bad. I'm not afraid to have the nail removed. It sounds like a fairly simple procedure.

Also gave me some samples of Zyrtec for alergies, and a 'script to fill if it works for me. She tried to give me Alegra, but I said I'd tried some a co-worker gave me and it did nothing. It might as well have been a sugar pill. I only get alergies occationally, so I don't want to have to take something daily. I've been using OTC stuff, but one time it took three pills to knock out my alergies, and in the process it knocked out me. As in...asleep at work.

Got my Zoloft 'script into Canada today, so 3-4 weeks before my pills arrive. She had no samples to give me, so I'll just keep taking 100mg in the meantime to stretch out what I have. Life sucked on 75. It's amazing what that extra 25 does for my outlook. So perhaps in a month I can go back to the 150 I'm supposed to take.

Saturday, June 14, 2003

Hammer and Nails

Where the hall and my room meet, the carpet does not meet. For ages now Xena has been digging under the carpet edges to get the padding out from underneath. It's nothing but a game to her, something fun to do. But this is destructive and could result in my losing my security deposit. So for a while I've been thinking of nailing the rug down to keep her from doing that. I decided to do so this afternoon and pulled out my hammer and nails. In the midst of the project (I don't even remember where), the power went out. All of it. All over the house.

I let Lou know, and he called PG&E, who came right out. He found a lot of bad fuses, but finally found one good one, and added one of his own from his truck. As he stuck the second one in, something evidentally sparked. He told Lou that he would have to call an electrician, and that most likely two wires were crossed.

I told Lou what I'd been doing when the power went out, and he came up with his toolbox and pulled out the nails on one side. He found that at least one had gone directly through a line or cord of some sort, and that that had caused the short. Once the nails were removed and the breaker turned back on, everything was fine. [insert embarrased icon here]

Friday, June 13, 2003

Friday the 13th

Today is Friday the 13th! :-D

Well, I'll was able to get ahpold of the receptionist at the doctor yesterday, and she said they can see me on Tuesday at 2:15. Jon said that's cool as long as we're back by 3:30. It'll be tight, but we can do it. I already feel better being on 100mg rather than 75. That extra 25 makes a big difference. But then, halving my medication suddenly probably would be rough on my body, especially on the days I only got 50mg - 1/3 of my normal dose.

Our staff dinner was at El Torito last night. Since it happened during my shift, Michael Wood filled in for me and I got paid to go to dinner. (c: I stuffed myself with Mexican food - I wasn't even hungry when I got home from work last night. I took some as a doggie bag and that will be dinner tonight.

Wednesday, June 11, 2003

More on Meds, take 2

I called the doctor yesterday as she is finally back from vacation. I talked/argued with the receptionist. She totally did not have a bead on my situation. She finally said she'd have the doctor call me back. I'm still waiting for the call. Guess I will have to call again.

I sat down and counted out my pills last night. If I take what I'm supposed to (150mg a day), I have about 40 days' worth. If I take 100mg a day, I have about 70 days worth. (This includes the pills I've hoarded over time. What I have left from my prescription is quite a bit less.) So I guess I'll take 100mg a day and hope that I have enough. Perhaps I'll feel more stable than I have on 75mg. The last few days have been hell. Last night I took 100mg and got a good night's sleep and I actually feel somewhat human today.

Tomorrow is a staff dinner at work. Since it occurs durung my shift, I get to go AND get paid for it! :) I'm not complaining. Michael Wood will fill in for me. Of course, I do have to start my shift and come back after the dinner to finish it.

Tuesday, June 10, 2003

More on Meds

I'm running low on medication. I last time I saw the doctor was in January, and she gave me a prescription for six months worth of meds. The problem is that my next appointment wasn't scheduled for seven months. So, I'm running low now, and had to cut way back if I want to have any hope of making it until I can get more. Right now I'm taking about half what I should. Instead of 150mg a day, I'm taking 100mg one day, 50 the next, 100 the next, and so on.

Monday, June 09, 2003

Tony was late to work last night. He overslept and showed up about 15 minutes late. I would have appreciated a call. I can miss the 11 p.m. bus, but if I miss the 11:30 p.m. bus, I miss the last bus home. In which case I take 40 bus and walk a mile over the hill in the middle of the night in a dangerous city. :-p I was so tired it was hard to focus in prayer. I took a couple sleeping pills to help me sleep deeper and now I'm zonked this morning. Gack. I had been up since 7 a.m. because I went to church yesterday morning - not a good day for Tony to be late.

At least church was good. Good music, reminding me of all God has brought me through and how far I've come, and a good sermon based on John 20. I took so many notes I filled every line on both sides of a sheet in my Steno book. Yea God!

It was also funny that the pastor made a point of mentioning that he had three points (the traditional 3-point sermon), and during his sermon, my pastor had also made a point to mention his three points. There were actually six, he said, but that was too many, so he broke it down into three groups of two, which it did neatly. I had never noticed there were six points and could be grouped into pairs. Amazing the little nuances I keep discovering in the Bible.

Friday, June 06, 2003


Laudate Dominum, laudate Dominum, omnes gentes, alleluia. So goes one taize chant in what I assume is Latin. It means, "Praise our God, all you peoples, alleluia." Paul took me to taize tonight in Burlingame at the Mercy Center, which is a combination retreat center and convent. It was cool, though I could have been in a more prayerful attitude. Where I am spiritually determines what kind of experience I have.

I haven't been in ages. I think it's been over a year. Hard to believe that it was seven years ago last month that I went for the first time. God has done so much in my life in the last seven years. Now I pray he will also work in power in the lives of Veronica, Wolf, Chris, and MCC.

Thursday, June 05, 2003

Some Assembly Required

I bought a new pedestal fan on Tuesday and put it together that night. So much assembly to do! Knowing what I know now I probably could have fixed the old one. I had no idea it could be put together by hand. So now I have two pedestal fans - one new and one used and somewhat dilapidated.

Web page updates

I did some updates on Xena's pages today. Three new pictures at the bottom of this page of Xena playing with a new toy.

Two new pics of Abby playing with a stuffed bear at the bottom of this page.

Two new pics of them together at the bottom of this page.

Tuesday, June 03, 2003

And what is up with AC Transit? Why are they buying all these cool new busses when the deficit is so serious they have to raises prices yet again? Hmmm? Or is this just a way to finance all the new busses? And how come Muni still costs the same as it did when I was in high school?

The last two nights I haven't been able to buy groceries because lots of people are now shopping at 11:30 at night. Sunday night they actually had two lines open. And both days there was some idiot trying up the line, copping an attitude, and just generally making things go very slow. I have a bus to catch, and there's only 15 minutes between my first bus and my transfer to get home. I can shop in 5 minutes flat, but I don't have 10 minutes to wait in the line, plus time to walk to and from the stop. It's a hlaf hour until the next bus comes along if I miss one. I guess I'll just keep trying until the idiots decide to stay home for the night.

Sunday, June 01, 2003

New week and new month

Well, here we are at the beginning of a new week (and a new month!). I'm pretty battered from all the recent scuffles, but perhaps things will calm down a bit now so I can concentrate on recovering.

The only news is that MCC is reading this blog because she commented on it in a PM to me, saying that she still is and always has been a mod at Dave's forum. *shrug* After this weekend, I don't even care anymore. I have more important things to do than worry about the latest juicy gossip. I also haven't seen Ana around lately. Don't know what's up with that.

Oscar (our piano player) is gone right now, and will be for something like four weeks. Since Eric (our former guitar player) is working Sabbaths, we had to sing a capella this week. Anita (my ride each week) is supposed to play next week. Some of the older kids were laughing at us singing without accompanyment. And I didn't even know the songs. Pastor picked songs he was familiar with - Bill and Gloria Gaither, but I wasn't. So I struggled to read the music.