Monday, May 31, 2004

My pastor's daughter, take 2

The latest news is that when/if my pastor's family is cleared of any/all charges, Julia still may not come back. She's 13 and will keep running away, so Family Services will probably place her wherever she wants to be, irregardless of her legal adoption by the Crouch's.

I really think this girl is going to have to hit rock bottom before she comes back up. Please pray that her "rock bottom" won't be too low, and that God will keep His hand on her and meet her when she is ready.


Just For Fun

And just for fun, a wacko site that purports to tell you all sorts of things about you just from your name:

Description of Your First Name of: Victoria

The name of Victoria gives you a clever, quick, analytical mind, but you suffer with a great deal of self-consciousness, lack of confidence, and much aloneness because of misunderstandings. Your idealistic and sensitive nature gives you a deep appreciation for the finer things of life and a strong desire to be of service to humanity. There are times when you experience inner turbulence at your inability to say what you mean. It is far easier for you to express your deeper thoughts and feelings through writing than verbally. You find pleasure in literature, in poetry, and in your ideals and will turn to them when you feel you have been misunderstood. You are deeply moved by the beauties of life, especially nature.

Sunday, May 30, 2004

What Color is Your Energy?

Blue Vibes
Your Energy is Blue. You are a creative thinker with an active imagination. Artistic and talented, you want to reach the stars and bring them down to form. You are trustworthy, honest and reliable. Others feel comfortable in your presence as you project a non-threatening, serene energy. You would do well in any of the helping professions, as an artist, singer, diplomat, orater, or clergy member.

What color is your energy?
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Saturday, May 29, 2004


Please note Jockos actual appearance
You are Jocko Grinn. Quiet and thoughtful and afraid of large flesh-eating gastropods, you provide much of the wit and drive that has fueled the Brothers Grinn phenomenon. After pulling your brother's dead weight for so long, however, you are taking a break.

Which Grinn brother are you?
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Which month are you?
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Abby won't keep a collar on, so I had her vet microchip her. She won't get that off! Progress with her is slow but happening. When Eleanor came over a few weeks ago, Abby actually let her approach her and TOUCH her! That is the first time she has let anyone but me touch her. Also, the vet said she is young because her teeth are so clean. He said two years, but she was older than six months when I found her, so I think she is a little older. It's still good to have an idea how old she is.

Fitness and Meds

My weight continues to drop. I'm no longer clinically obese, just overweight. I was 186 at my last weigh-in. :) I hope I can lose some more before my body decides to hit a plateau.

I don't know if it's the Atkins, the Wellbutrin, or both, but I have so little of an appetite. I know Atkins is supposed to suppress your appetite. I often have trouble eating enough, and I am not getting nearly enough protein. To the naysayers at my church, I will soon be getting blood tests - a complete metabolic panel - repeat of the same a year and a half ago, and cholesterol. The last metabolic panel was good, and I expect this to be about the same, but I have never had my cholesterol checked. My doctor said Atkins should be a fine diet for me provided I don't use it as an excuse to eat lots of cheeseburgers. :)

The Wellbutrin is working fine. I had no side effects coming off the Zoloft - none at all! - and the only Wellbutrin side effect was the common hyperness for the first week. But since it's a twice a day pill, I just took it in the morning for the first week and had no trouble sleeping at night. I really thought the switch in meds would be rough, but I hardly felt a thing.


God, what a couple weeks! Will it ever slow down?

May 16 was the Bay To Breakers race (page not finished yet). My official time was 1:56:34, and my actual time (from crossing the start line) was 1:54:41. I started off really well, jogging over a mile without slowing down to a walk, but I just pooped out. I think my low carb diet works well for my normal activity level, but is useless when excercising so much. I'll know better for next year.

I was supposed to be back at work the following Sunday (last Sunday), but I was sick. I actually missed church last Saturday because I was so tired. I was out from work Sunday and half of Wednesday this past week. I also had Thursday off as a sick day, but I was feeling better so I just took it as comp time.

As then my sister is in town this weekend. I spent 11 hours on Friday doing the "family thang" in the Sonoma wine country with Eleanor, April, and April's boyfriend Renato.

We visited three wineries for tastings. I learned the difference between red and white wine, and that the difference between champaigne and sparkling wine is something in the process of how it's made. April bought me a Gloria Ferrer sweatshirt from the first winery and I had my first wine filled chocolate. It was excellent.

At the second winery, Sebastiani, Eleanor bought me a bottle of Symphony, a desert wine. $15 a bottle! We also took part of the wine tour and learned about how wine is made.

At the third winery, Buena Vista, I had my first taste of Sherry. I have to say I was impressed with it.

April and Renato came over to see my apartment today and meet my cats, both of whom I got since the last time April and I saw each other. Hopefully that will be it for the weekend. This place was a mess, and though I hate working on Sabbath, I had to clean. At least the place looks better now.

We're Evil

And from Brian, this wonderful gem found on Christian Humor Refugee:

Let's face it; we're evil.

I was talking to someone yesterday who was fighting the fight and expressed discouragement because they're tired of being treated as if they were an "evil person".

Well, I thought about it, and I decided -- hey, why fight it? We ARE evil.

I mean, look at it from the world's point of view -- you've got these weirdos walking around who have made a covenant with this strange supernatural Power. This Power has declared itself at enmity with the world, sworn to destroy it and create a new world in it's place, populated only by its own creatures. Clearly an intolerant, imperialist bigot who can't accept differences or alternative lifestyles which the world in it's wisdom knows is just fine. Especially in what it demands from every human being, essentially, is "Surrender or Die."

A Power that means to destroy the world. Boy, that sounds evil, doesn't it? And these weirdos have WILLINGLY made a covenent, selling their souls in exchange for immortality. Sounds like some bunch of twisted vampires to me.

Every week -- or, among some, less often -- they re-enact a ritual which recalls some heinous act of blood sacrifice made in the distant past that started this bizarre cult. Not only that, but they continually wear around their necks replicas of the bloody bit of wood this grisly ritual was worked on, many with a man still writhing in pain on it. How morbid is that? Not only that, but all of them claim to be "indwelt" by some sinister force from beyond -- isn't that just a nice way of saying "possessed?" So whenever you run into these types, you have to remember they're not alone in there. Just who is it talking to you through that frame? Freaky.

Not only that, but this sinister Power has granted them strange supernatural abilities normal humans don't possess. They claim that they can call on Him, and that He will answer in power. There are all kinds of stories (and TV shows) bearing witness to these sinister abilities.

These cultists clearly pose a clear and present danger to the state. They must be disposed of.


So yeah. From the world's point of view, we're evil. There's a REASON Christians in the First-Century were arrested (among other charges) for practicing magic (, -- which to the Romans meant accomplishing miracles and/or calling on supernatural powers outside the official approved state cults). We can tell them otherwise but let's face it -- we really ARE fundamentally at odds with the world. Our very existence is a denial of the values the world holds dear.

So the world will keep calling us evil.

Suits me. Evil Overlords have more fun anyway. [Picks up his black helmet and cape as the "Imperial March" swells in the background].

Three Quizzes

you are seagreen

Your dominant hues are cyan and green. Although you definately strive to be logical you care about people and know there's a time and place for thinking emotionally. Your head rules most things but your heart rules others, and getting them to meet in the middle takes a lot of your energy some days.

Your saturation level is higher than average - You know what you want, but sometimes know not to tell everyone. You value accomplishments and know you can get the job done, so don't be afraid to run out and make things happen.

Your outlook on life can be bright or dark, depending on the situation. You are flexible and see things objectively.
the html color quiz

Which Ringwraith are You?
By Lisa

Sam is the faithful servant of Frodo Baggins. He cares an awful lot about his master and would probably give his life for him. Though Sam meets many marvelous people as he journeys with Frodo, he still wishes he was back home in the Shire.

Take the "Which Hobbit are you?" quiz created by Cora Black!

I think Gollum fits me better. Sam is far too an awesome character for me.

Wednesday, May 19, 2004

No longer obese!

That's right. As of today I am finally below the magic number that makes me "obese." My BMI is 29.8 - 30 is obese, and my weight is now 190 - about 191-2 is obese for my height. Now I am merely "overweight."

Check out my graph here:

[does happy dance]

I have also lost half the weight I need to lose to get back to where I was before medication. I was a bit overweight even then, but I was okay with myself there. So...halfway to goal! :-)

Monday, May 17, 2004

About the March For (Some) Women's Lives

I was at a wine tasting/fund raising dinner on Saturday evening. Narsai David, old friend of my Dad's and local celebrity in this area was there, as was a family friend (who drove me), and another women seated at our end of the table. The subject of John Kerry came up, and they all agreed they would like to see Bush gone; the woman also mentioned she was at the March For Women's Lives in DC. As soon as I heard that, I thought about you and your name for it. I just sat there thinking, "How can they be so blind?" And yet, so was I at one time. All I could do was turn away and try to join another conversation because I was afraid of saying something that would make them all think me nutty. I knew anything I could say would only be counterproductive.

Yep, Dorothy, we ain't in Kansas anymore. Sometimes I really hate living here. There are so few of us conservatives that we really get drowned out.

At the race yesterday I saw soooooooooo many people carrying signs and wearing t-shirts that were either pro-Kerry or just simply anti-Bush. A lot of people were wearing t-shirts that said something like "Running for change." One woman had a hand-written sign pinned to the back of her t-shirt: "The only bush I trust is my own." In the whole race I saw ONE person - a middle aged man running with his wife - who wore a pro-Bush t-shirt. I made sure to compliment him on it as I jogged by.

I have to constantly remind myself that the whole country isn't like San Francisco because what I see around here every day is very depressing.

And now this new out of Massachusettes (sp). I tell you, signs of the end times....

Come quickly, Lord Jesus!

Thursday, May 06, 2004

Book Quiz

You're Compassion Fatigue!
by Susan Moeller
You used to care, but now it's just getting too difficult. You cared about the plight of people in lands near and far, but now the media has bombarded you with images of suffering to the point that you just don't have the energy to go on. You've become cold and heartless, as though you'd lived in New York City for a year or so. But you stand as a serious example to all others that they should turn off their TV sets and start caring again.

Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.

Never heard of this book.

Wednesday, May 05, 2004

Two Quizzes

You are Victoria!
You are ... Victoria Shephard (NEWBIRTH)!

As everybody's favorite ex-pagan Antichrist head, God must have great things in store for you, 'cause he's been training you with every stress imaginable. Your blog reads like a bad adventure serial, with every episode ending with the heroine tied to the tracks, dangling from a cliff, or being lowered into a stew vat.(But never sitting in the basement browsing internet sites in her underwear.) You used to be a Witch, but you've been dry for many years now and haven't turned anyone into a toad since you broke up with your last boyfriend. It's HARD -- the craving to make the bozo who takes your seat on the bus hop around in a pond is nigh-impossible to resist -- BUT YOU WILL BE STRONG! *Poof* Oh, noooo .. I'm so sorry Greg, I really really didn't mean to do that... *Sob* You try so hard, you think you've got it under control and when you LEAST it expect it -- wham! This is why, although your friends love you dearly, they try not to get too close when you're in a bad mood. Witchcraft and PMS DO NOT MIX.

Which Head of the Multiheaded Antichrist are You?
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You're Vatican City!
You're pretty sure that you're infallible in all that you do or say, and it's hard to say whether you're right.  You have a lot of followers, most of whom will do whatever you say without question, or line up to see you ride around in your spiffy car.  Religious and reserved, you have some wisdom, but also a bit much contempt for everyone around you.  You're also fabulously wealthy, no matter what you say to the contrary.

Take the Country Quiz at the Blue Pyramid

Monday, May 03, 2004


What a weekend! At Nancy's behest, I locked "Sutera" out of the Depression forum under several names. Then she and Leslie started in on me for my sig quote: "Furthermore, you cannot preface a question to me with 'the Christian view of homosexuality aside...' If I lay aside my principles, I lay aside everything of value." -­Joe Turner on the Protestant Christianity forum, 6/14/02 They began a very effective campaign against me to label me a "homophobe" and a "bigot." Now everyone on the forum who isn't Christian (most everybody) thinks that I hate homosexuals. *sigh*

Brian pointed out to me something I hadn't put together. I know that today is my spiritual birthday, but its connection with Beltane went unnotticed. This could be a spiritual attack from Satan. It started April 30 and was mostly over by the night of May 2. A spiritual attack on one of my old sacred days makes a lot of sense. K and co. ruins my physical birthday in January, and now Leslie and Sutera manage to ruin my spiritual birthday. I'm 8 today. :(

It is also still going on. Nancy mostly supported me in her e-mail to me and the other mod. But she didn't say anything about it on the forum. So everyone thinks that Nancy was against me. It would be nice if she would have said what she did in the e-mail in the forum. But I cannot expect even that much support. I came across Psalm 59 on my way home. What a description of my life!

And I don't like God's way. I'm tired of turning the other cheek, gosh darn it. I want REVENGE. God is not fair. At least I know Wicca and the goddess are FAIR. So I'm being mean right now. I threatened to hurt myself (or worse), and not reading the replies to me under my primarly "Newbirth" name. I'm using "Brigid7" again. I hope that if they notice I am gone and not reading replies or posting, that they will get worried that I really did do something.

Sunday, May 02, 2004

My pastor's daughter

Well, the hearing was this week and temporary custody was granted to Julia's Mom's sister. Now the Crouch's (my pastor's family) have legally adopted her, but she wants "freedom" instead of the rules my pastor's family enforces, so she ran back to her birth mom. Her birth mom is more than happy to cast a spanking as "child abuse." She will also acuse anyone she can of sexually molesting her daughter. For this reason, the church has worked hard to make sure that no adult male is ever alone with Julia. The mere admission that a male might have been alone with her would look very bad.

At any rate, now there will be an investigation. I only hope it is thorough so my pastor's family can be cleared. Please pray for protection of my pastor's family from false alegations, and that the real truth will come out. Pray that Julia come to her senses and realize that the Crouch's really do care for her. Pray that God hold and guide this child through the rough years that lie ahead.

I really do feel like God's hand is on her, but sometimes I am impatient in waiting for Him to do something. Julia is 13; it will only get worse from here. She is no longer a child, but going through the "terrible teens."

Saturday, May 01, 2004

Prayer Request: Depression

It's been a rough weekend so I baked some Atkins cookies and am trying to curl up and lick my wounds.

1) We've had a troll at the Depression forum who keeps coming back with more and more names. The more I ban her (at the moderator's behest) the more she reregisters stirs up people against me. I think we are up to 6 names at last count.

2) Several people there are now accusing me of being "homophobic" and a "bigot." How many people here would say that against me? It was based on the signature I used to have. Anyone here think I'm "homophobic"?

3) The people at church STILL don't think that Atkins is healthy. The fact that I've lost 16 1/2 pounds means nothing. Jane has been a little nicer to me, but there are so many naysayers. I think I need to call my doctor and have my cholesterol and such checked. Doubt that will do any good, though.

*sigh* I would really like it if my spiritual family would SUPPORT me as I lose weight.

People who have their mind made up will not be swayed by any evidence to the contrary. Ironically, this applies to all three of my points.