I have an eating disorder.

I have an eating disorder. Yes, me. Get over it. Don't worry too much because Brad and I are sharing an apartment and we both work for the same employer in the same department. We see each other a lot.

According to Wikipedia,(a)n eating disorder is any psychological condition characterized by abnormal eating habits that may involve either insufficient or excessive food intake to the detriment of an individuals physical and emotional health. Eating disorders are estimated to affect 5-10 million females and 1 million males in the United States. Although not yet classified as separate disorder, binge eating disorder is the most common eating disorder in the United States affecting 3.5% of females and 2% of males according to a study by Harvard affiliated McLean Hospital. Bulimia nervosa was the second most common followed by Anorexia nervosa.

I don't quite meet the criteria for Binge Eating Disorder, but I'm close. Wikipedia says, The formal diagnosis criteria are...that subjects must binge at least twice per week for a minimum period of three months. I usually binge about once a week, although lately it has been closer to twice a week with all the holiday stuff going on.

I do seem to fit the criteria for compulsive overeating. Per Wikipedia,
(a)n individual suffering from compulsive overeating disorder engages in frequent episodes of uncontrolled eating, or binging, during which they may feel frenzied or out of control, often consuming food past the point of being comfortably full. Binging in this way is generally followed by feelings of guilt and depression. Unlike individuals with bulimia, compulsive overeaters do not attempt to compensate for their binging with purging behaviors such as fasting, laxative use or vomiting. Compulsive overeaters will typically eat when they are not hungry.

If that isn't me I don't know what is!

I'll do okay for a few days, but then something just takes over. I know one bite of something can be the kiss of death for me. Saturday's binging started with a donut with my breakfast and it went downhill from there. I'll spare you the details, but it was really bad.

I definitely feel out of control when I binge. I simply can't stop and will eat until I'm not just full, but stuffed. Sometimes I eat so much that I get queasy.

Today Brad and went hiking. We hiked in Redwood Park, but had to cut the hike a little short so I could get back to the parking lot where there was a port-a-potty. After that we went to the San Leandro shoreline and walked the 1 mile parcourse. Total walking time was 2 hours and 22 minutes. Walker Tracker tells me that's about 6.9 miles and FitDay says I burned about 357 calories. :)

After the first walk, we went to Costco and bought protein shakes. They have a kind with only casein and whey proteins (no soy), and lots of added vitamins and minerals so they can be used as a meal replacement. I'm thinking of using them as such for breakfast (on non-gym days) and lunch, then have Greek yogurt, cottage cheese, or sardines for dinner. On gym days I of course have my usual whey protein shake before and after my workout. I also need to shoot for about 30g of fat a day, just for good health.

Christmas is coming up so I'll be off plan two days this week (Friday and Saturday), then the week after is New Years so I'll be off plan New Year's Eve (Thursday) and Saturday. Then my birthday 11 days after that (a Monday this year). :-p

Weekly Weigh-Ins with links

I thought I would publish my weekly weigh-ins with their links from the time I started NutriSystem to my most recent start.

Start: 154
Week 1: 150 (-4) - Week 2: 148.6 (-1.4)
Week 3: 146 (-2.6) - Week 4: 147.2 (+1.2)
Week 5: 145.6 (-1.6) - Week 6: 144 (-1.6)
Week 7: 143 (-1) - Week 8: 142.8 (-0.2)
Week 9: 143.6 (+0.8) - Week 10: 141.2 (-2.4)
Week 11: 143.8 (+2.6) - Week 12: 142.4 (-1.4)
Week 13: 142.4 (-0) - Week 14: 141.6 (-0.8)
Week 15: 139.4 (-2.2) - Week 16: 140 (+0.6)
Week 17: 139.2 (-0.8) - Week 18: 139 (-0.2)
Week 19: 138 (-1) - Week 20: 135.4 (-2.6)
Week 21: 137.2 (+1.8) - Week 22: 139.6 (+2.4)
Week 23: 143.2 (+3.6) - Week 24: 143.6 (+0.4)
Week 25: 137.6 (-6) - Week 26: 139.6 (+2)
Week 27: 142 (+2.4) - Week 28: 137.2 (-4.8)
Week 29: 137 (-0.2) - Week 30: 136.8 (-0.2)
Week 31: 142.2 (+5.4) - Week 32: 136.8 (-5.4)
Week 33: 137.8 (+1) - Week 34: 135.8 (-2)
Week 35: 137.6 (+1.8) - Week 36: 143.8(+6.2)
Week 37: 142.8 (-1) - Week 38: 140 (-2.8)
Week 39: 142.4 (+2.4) - Week 40: 140.4 (-2)
Week 41: 139.6 (-0.8) - Week 42: 142 (+2.4)
Week 43: N/A - Week 44: 141 (-1)
Week 45: 138.8 (-2.2) - Week 46: 139.6 (+0.8)
Week 47: 133.6 (-6) - Week 48: 132.4 (-1.2)
Week 49: 138.6 (+6.2) - Week 50: 138.4 (-0.2)
Week 51: 138.8 (+0.4) - Week 52: 139.4 (+0.6)
Week 53: 137.8 (-1.6) - Week 54: 139.4 (+1.6)
Week 55: 137.6 (-1.8) - Week 56: 136.4 (-1.2)
Week 57: 136.6 (+0.2) - Week 58: 139.4 (+2.8)
Week 59: 136.6 (-2.8) - Week 60: 134.6 (-2)
Week 61: 137 (+2.4) - Week 62: 138.6 (+1.6)
Week 63: 137 (-1.6) - Week 64: 137 (-0)
Week 65: 141.8 (+4.8) - Week 66: 135.4 (-6.4)
Week 67: 136 (+0.6) - Week 68: 139.2 (+3.2)
Week 69: 137.2 (-2) - Week 70: 138.2 (+1)
Week 71: 136.4 (-1.8) - Week 72: 140 (+3.6)
Week 73: 139.4 (-0.6) - Week 74: 140 (+0.6)
Week 75: 137.6 (-2.4) - Week 76: 141.6 (+4)
Week 77: 136.4 (-5.2) - Week 78: 139 (+2.6)
Week 79: 138.2 (-0.8) - Week 80: 139.2 (+1)
Week 81: 139.4 (+0.2) - Week 82: 137.6 (-1.8)
Week 83: 137.8 (+0.2) - Week 84: 137.2 (-0.6)
Week 85: 137.2 (-0) - Week 86: 136.2 (-1)
Week 87: 140.6 (+4.4) - Week 88: 138.8 (-1.8)
Week 89: 139.4 (+0.6) - Week 90: 142 (+2.6)
Week 91: 135.6 (-6.4) - Week 92: 140 (+4.4)
Week 93: 138.8 (-1.2) - Week 94: 138.6 (-0.2)
Week 95: 137.2 (-1.4) - Week 96: 137.6 (+0.6)
Week 97: 139.8 (+2.2) - Week 98: 139.6 (-0.2)
Week 99: 141.4 (+1.8) - Week 100: 140 (-1.4)
Week 101: 138.4 (-1.6) - Week 102: 138.6 (+0.2)
Week 103: 139.4 (+0.8) - Week 104: 136.4 (-3)
Week 105: 137.8 (+1.4) - Week 106: 137.8 (-0)
Week 107: 138.2 (+0.4) - Week 108: 137.4 (-0.8)
Week 109: 136 (-1.4) - Week 110: 133 (-3)
Week 111: 134.2 (+1.2) - Week 112: 132.8 (-1.4)
Week 113: 135.4 (+2.6) - Week 114: 136 (+0.6)
Week 115: 139.8 (+3.8) - Week 116: 137.8 (-2)

Bad bosses

Calories eaten yesterday: 1335 (I know, too much)
Fat: 31g (24%)
Carbs: 93g (32%)
Protein: 136g (44%)
Weight this morning: 135.8
Calories burned in exercise today: 175

Walked to the laundromat and back, then down toward the train. Caught the bus to the shopping center and bought some groceries. That will keep my busy tomorrow portioning and cutting stuff.

Brad and I will hit Safeway tomorrow for the rest of what I need and hopefully Old Navy for a pair of jeans. I did Trader Joe's today so that's done, and we'll do Costco on Saturday evening.

I'll weigh-in this Sunday, but probably not again until January because I'll be off plan too much to lose weight the next two weeks - Christmas Day and New Year's Eve. Then back on plan until my birthday January 11. I can't wait until the holidays are over!

Boss J. chewed me out again today for the second time about the same one incident. Why? He just wanted to reiterate what he said on Monday. Someone needs reign him in! I'm on edge when I know he's here, and can't relax until he goes home.

He must be going through a depressive phase because he is angry at everyone and taking it out on those us us who happen to be here when he is. He's a terrible manager. He's good at the other stuff he does, but he has no clue how to manage interpersonal relationships - a necessary trait in management. He likes the feeling of power that being a manager gives, but has ruined morale in this department. It's no wonder he's not married even though he desperately wants to be.

Vicki Boxes

Calories eaten yesterday: 1186 (I know, too much)
Fat: 39g (33%)
Carbs: 74g (28%)
Protein: 110g (39%)
Weight this morning: 135.6
Calories burned in exercise today: 404

First, to the people leaving the nasty comments that were deleted, get a life. There were cookies, cakes, and candy all over work yesterday and I didn't have a single bite. So take that because I bet you wouldn't fare as well. :) Now you need to get going because I received a phone call and your village is missing its idiot. :)

Christmas is in full swing here with listeners sending us tons of crappy "food." Cakes and cookies are everywhere, in every single department and office. I'm staying away from all sugar so I won't have any. One bite is the kiss of death.

To answer the question about what a Vicki Box is: It started as a tradition on a cat forum I used to frequent. A woman named Vicki used to send out boxes to people who needed a little pick-me-up. It became a Secret Santa sort of thing. People sign up and are assigned another person to give to. You don't know who is giving you your box until the box arrives. Each person posts a bio so you know a little about them, and of course we all have the common bond of loving and owning cats. This year I received a big box, and am sending out two small boxes. Since my family either gives me nothing or gives me something I can't use, the Vicki box is the only way I know I'll get something cool and surprising for Christmas. So even though I rarely go to that cat forum anymore, I make sure to take a spin through and make sure my name is on the list.

Ok, today was gym day. I did 30 minutes of weight training and 1 hour of cardio on the elliptical. I walked into work from the train station. I am wiped!

Tomorrow is laundry.

I got off work about 11:30 last night. Lisa didn't go to the concert because he had to take her father to the hospital. Bereket filled in for her and gave me a ride home.

Calories, cookies, cakes, and Christmas

Calories eaten yesterday: 1227
Fat: 30g (25%)
Carbs: 80g (29%)
Protein: 130g (46%)
Weight this morning: 136
Calories burned in exercise today: 117

Got to sleep in today - yay! I did about 40 minutes of walking to the 7-Eleven by the bridge, then took the bus the rest of the way in.

I got the Vicki box labels printed. Estimated delivery date was Dec. 22, but since they won't go out until tomorrow that will be Dec. 23. How they will get from here to South Calolina by Dec. 23 I don't know as I selected UPS ground. It cost $27 to send these two boxes! Yikes!

Tomorrow I hope to go back to the gym.

Calories today will be a little over my non-gym day max of 1100. I'm working late and that means I'll need more food, but I should be under 1200. There are massive Christmas treats all over work and so far I am resisting them. Why is Christmas all about sugar, cake, cookies, etc.? Isn't it supposed to be about the Redeemer of the world being born? How did He get lost?

I am no longer getting the $200 per month from the sale of Dad's van. Dad said no way was Brad going to give me anything, so that money stops as of last month. Brad paid me the rent and half the PG&E bill he owed, but it wasn't nearly enough to meet my bills so I'm cashing in some vacation time.