Wednesday, April 28, 2004

Meds and Weight, take 2

Real quick update. First, I don't feel as bad as I thought I would with the change in meds. Yea!

Second, my size 16 Women's jeans are hecka loose. The size 16 Old Navy jeans fit perfect. I'm afraid to wear the size 20 black jeans that my Mom bought me; I'm afraid they'll fall down.

Third, walking up the hill to Sequoia church yesterday was easier than last month, which was easier than the month before. I don't get out of breath anymore! :)

Fourth, Brian pointed out to me that if I am being disciplined by God for what I did by being set in, as he put it, "time out," then it proves that I belong to God. I found that somewhat comforting.

Monday, April 26, 2004

Size 16!, take 2

I'm wearing size 16 jeans today, so I am doing good! The 18s are just too loose anymore. They look sloppy on me. So I'm down a size (or is that 2 sizes?)! I have a pair of brand new 14s in my closet. That is my ultimate goal - to get back to 14 since that is what I used to wear. Can't button them right now, but I will get there!

Meds and Weight

Well, the amount of Zoloft I take is down to 50mg now, and I'm up to the full doseage of Wellbutrin - 150mg twice a day. But I can feel my depression and anxiety beginning to return. I really hope the new med works, and soon.

I've lost 16 pounds now, another 3 last week. :) I use my FitDay journal to track my eating and my weight (food entries delayed one day - click the arrows to read previous entries), and Diet411 to track just my weight.

Wednesday, April 21, 2004

Finally a good day!

Started my night doses of Wellbutrin last night, no insomnia. Yea! Got up this morning, doing well on my diet again after last weekend's problems.

Got my body fat taken today at the fitness center - down another 2.3%. :) Had a good workout, felt much better than yesterday.

I'm nearly done with the "Glorious Appearing" book.

Stopped at the mall to buy some stuff at Safeway, saw a storewide sale at Mervyn's. Got a new pair of excercise pants, which I needed anyway, and two cute pairs of summer sandels for $15 apiece (not needed). ;)

Made it to work and discovered that my Lord of the Rings movie posters arrived! Yea! :)

Body fat down!

Body fat was taken today - 35.5%. My start was 37.8%, and last month was 37.2%. All I can say is Atkins works. I lost significantly more body fat the month on Atkins than the month before I started dieting.

Saturday, April 17, 2004

Utter failure

Utter failure today. Breakfast no prob: Chocolate Royale Atkins shake - 2 carbs. The lunch potluck was a problem, with only four foods to choose from, three starchy, what could I do? There was brown rice (which I ate a lot of), and it was mixed with a cream soup and small pieces of chicken, and pot stickers (I had several), and spaghetti (I had none). All the drinks were sugary, so I had ice water. There were also green beans and I took way more than my portion. Dinner was at a buffet and I chose lots of meat, but a lot of it was basted in sugary sauces. I also had a few veggies, and a couple hot dogs smoothered with cheese sauce (no bun of course). Three glasses of diet Coke (I was very thirsty). No dessert. All in all, I must have eaten a couple HUNDRED carbs. :(

I feel TERRIBLE about myself! :-(

Wednesday, April 14, 2004

Starting new med

I started to wean off the Zoloft last night, and started the Wellbutrin SR this morning. I was on 200mg Zoloft (maximum dose), so I dropped it to 100mg (normal dose). Next I will drop it to 75mg by taking 100mg and 50mg capsules on alternating days. (They are capsules and so cannot be cut.) I know from experience that I'll be okay on 100mg; but drop me to 75mg and I have problems.

For the first week on Wellbutrin SR I am supposed to take 150mg once a day (in the morning since it can cause insomnia). Once my body adjusts to 150mg, I'll go up to a regular dose of 150mg twice a day.

Overall, I'm nervous about the change. I feel a bit jittery today, probably from the Wellbutrin, but overall I'm okay. The big test will be if I can get a decents night's sleep tonight.

Tuesday, April 13, 2004

Holy Week is the Week From Hell!

The week between Palm Sunday and Easter Sunday is always one of the busiest and most stressful of the year. This year - Monday was the mail run into the City, Tuesday was Curves, Wednesday was massage therapy, Thursday was Curves, Friday was Good Friday which meant a three hour service at St. Paul's, Saturday was my regular church in the morning and St. Cuthbert's at night for Easter Vigil, and Sunday was Easter Sunday services.

On Palm Sunday at St. Paul's they said they needed readers for the Good Friday service, so I asked if I could help and they said yes. I was the first reader in the second hour and the reading was Jeremiah 20:7-11. What that has to do with Good Friday I have no clue.

At St. Cuthbert's Easter Vigil service they asked for help with the "Intercessions,"which means reading given prayers. I volunteered for that. I like to help out.

Easter Sunday morning I was supposed to go to St. Paul's for services, but I got on the wrong bus. I took the 62 down to Lake Merritt BART, and had a 25-30 minute wait, and then was supposed to catch the 11. My mind was elsewhere and when another 62 came along before the 11, I got on it. This would have made me late for church, and missing the opening song would be terrible (it is always "Christ the Lord is Risen Today"), so I decided to go to City Church in San Francisco. I made it there with plenty of time to spare. My first Easter service there.

Janice was there so we got to catch up a bit after the service. (She was late and shuttled upstairs, but snuck downstairs during communion.) She said I looked different and I got to tell her about my excercise and weight loss. My first ever unsolicited compliment!

My new medication arrived yesterday. I am going to wait a few days until my stress reduces before I start. This is not a good time to be changing medications, especially one with a known side effect of anxiety. :-p

So, Holy Week was the week from hell. At least with Easter I feel closer to forgiving K and co. God has forgiven them, so really there's nothing I can do but get mad at God, and I know from experience how pointless that is.

Sunday, April 11, 2004

First Unsolicited Compliment!

I got my first unsolicited compliment today!

It's Easter Sunday and I was planning on going to go to the Episcopal Church. I got on the wrong bus and would be late, but I still had time to make it to City Church (sort of my second home church - I'm not a member, but I love it), so I headed over there.

At the communion my friend came and sat next to me. She had come in late and was forced into the balcony, but communion provided enough people moving around for her to sneak downstairs and sit next to me.

After the service we talked because I haven't been to that church in about 2 months. She said I looked different! And then I told her I'd been working out and eating low carb.

That is the first time anyone has said anything to me about how I look without my bringing it up first!

Certainly good motivation to continue. :o)

She wanted me to come back to her house with her for lunch, and then to see The Passion, but alas, I had to work. :(

Oh yeah, I had a piece of cake yesterday. My pastor's family was throwing a birthday party for their youngest daughter (turned 11), and the cake was chocolate so I had one piece. I managed to stay away from the ice cream and jelly beans, though. :) And today at City Church they had so many muffins and cookies and such. I'm proud to say I didn't eat any! :-D

Thursday, April 08, 2004

Wednesday, April 07, 2004

Insanity Central

Wednesday of Holy Week

So busy this week. Saturday night I forgot to set my clock forward, so when I woke up a half hour early (so I thought), I was actually a half hour late. I have never gotten dressed so fast. I need to take an earlier bus on Easter Sunday, because I was nearly late to Palm Sunday services.

I've forgotten how a large crowd sounds when singing. Saturday at church we did "All Glory, Laud, and Honor." Sunday we did the song at the Episcopal church (it's a Palm Sunday song - I did not know that!), and the sound just BLEW me away! A large number of people singing in comparison with our little crowd at church. WOW! What a difference.

At church on Sunday they announced that they still needed readers for the Good Friday service. I asked about being able to read, and they were very receptive. I'm going to be there anyway, so why not help out? I signed up to be the first reader in the second hour. :)

I have to get up early every day this week. Sunday I was up at 7:30 a.m. (8:30 by the new time). Monday I was up at 9:30 to run into the City. Tuesday I was up at 10:30 to work out at Curves before work. Today I was up at 8 to have a session of massage therapy before work (I should have scheduled it for some other week than this one). Tonight I have to do laundry because if I wait until Thursday, I won't get enough sleep Thursday night. Tomorrow I will be up at 10:30 for Curves again, and Friday I haven't figured out yet, but I have to be at the church by noon. Saturday I have to be up at 8 as usual for church, and Easter Sunday I need to be up between 7 and 8. I haven't had a sleep in day for over a week, and I'm already exhausted, with the busiest days of this insanity still ahead. :-p

Since eating low carb I've managed to lose more weight. Last week I lost 5 pounds! And when I went to counseling last Tuesday, climbing the hill to the church was a little easier than last month. I am definitely getting stronger!

Xena is two years old. Her (estimated) birthday was yesterday. How can she be two already? It was just yesterday that she was a 1 1/4 pound grey cottonball.

My doctor put me on Wellbutrin the last time I saw him. I am still waiting for the meds to arrive from Canada, but they should be here soon. He said I could start taking the Wellbutrin before weaning completely off the Zoloft. I'm nervous. I've never switched medication before. Wellbutrin is supposed to be good for a lower incidence of weight gain, which is why I asked for it, but it also doesn't touch seratonin in the brain, only norepinephrin and dopamine. I hope it works. If not, I'll have to try another SSRI.

Tuesday, April 06, 2004

I don't know the exact day she was born, so I just picked April 6th as a near approximation. I actually brought her home in mid-May, but I prefer to celebrate her birthday since I have a vague idea of when it falls. With Abby I have to celebrate the day I found her because I don't even know what YEAR she was born!

I took a couple pictures of Xena last night, but they are still on my camera. I won't be able to get them up until after Easter; this week is totally insane and I'm not getting enough sleep, much less have time for editing and uploading pictures.

At any rate, the little 1 1/4 pound grey cotton ball is all grown up and weighs over 10 1/2 pounds as of her last vet visit. She's not as social as I'd like - my fault for not socializing her as well as I should have when she was a kitten - but she's not afraid of humans; she simply doesn't like being held. She was so cute this morning as I was leaving for work. I had to pet her and kiss her. I can't believe she's already two! Where did the time go?