Thursday, March 31, 2005

Xena sick, take 2

Been doing okay I guess, except that I only made it to the gym once this week. Xena was better when I got home last night so I did go to the gym today.

My weight today was the same as a week ago - 157.2. I only lost 1.8 pounds for the whole month of March! {wails}

TOM is here so I expect my only weight loss for April will be in the next 10 days or so.

*sigh* I will never make my goal at less than two pounds a month. And I've been good, sticking to my diet and everything!

Wednesday, March 30, 2005

Xena sick

I'm so stressed. First, the cat is sick. She's not eating, not playing, not doing anything except sleeping. I have a vet appointment tomorrow. I will have to use the vacation money to pay the vet, so there goes my vacation. Dad has stopped sending me money and I am not even getting by without it. I'll be behind on the bills by next month.

Two, due to the cat going to the vet, there will be NO workouts this week, and therefore no scale. So I have no idea what I weigh.

Three, the vet only has morning or afternoon appointments at horrible times for me. Since I work second shift, she will have to go in in the morning. So I will get about 5-6 hours sleep and get to pull an 18 hour day on that. Are we having fun yet boys and girls?

Life sucks. I wish I had never been born. I will never understand why people have kids and bring another being into this horrible world.

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

One year on Atkins!

I just looked at my journal, and today is my one year anniversary of being on Atkins! Woohoo! I've lost 50 pounds and I feel great. Well, actually, I don't today. I think TOM is about to start.

I can't believe I love this diet so much I've stuck to it for a year. :)

Monday, March 28, 2005

Easter weekend

Well, time to update my journal. Let's see... Friday I went to a 3 hour Good Friday service. Gosh it was hard to sit still for that long. Saturday morning I had my regular church, and Saturday night was an Easter vigil about 1 1/2-2 hours long. Again, hard to sit still. Sunday morning was an awesome Easter Sunday service. Lots of smells and bells. Really nice.

I did okay Friday. 2226 calories and 57 carbs. So a little high on the calories. Saturday I don't count, and Sunday was impossible because of the food after church and then eating at a restaurant. Today I'm back on track and counting everything again.

And the Oreos Jerri sent finally came! Yea! I'm making room in my menu for several of the cookies. ;)

My friend bought me the cutest chiffon Easter dress. All flowey and dressy with flowers. Really pretty. I like it a lot.

Haven't excercised since last Wednesday. Easter just make things really crazy and effected my schedule both before and after the holiday weekend. For example, due to the Good Friday service, I had to make my hair appointment for this Tuesday instead of having it done on a Friday when I am off work. Things will be back to normal around Wednesday I think.

I will only make it to the gym once or twice this week. Thursday for sure, and Wednesday is still up in the air. Fridays are still out until after the time change. Right now it just gets dark too early to go to the gym and still make it home in time to shower and do everything else to get ready for Sabbath. I miss swimming, so hopefully I'll be able to go again now that Easter with its "must be there" Sunday services is over. It was fun, but I'm also glad it's over! So, very little excercise this week. Oh well. Life happens.

Sunday, March 27, 2005

The Love of God

My heart is full of praise for Him this Easter day. I have spent the last week immersing myself in the Easter story, walking though the story just as the people did 2,000 years ago. My heart could not contain the joy I felt at the end of the service today as we sang the traditional Easter humn for our closing hymn, "Christ the Lord is Risen Today."

One truth I have discovered that has helped me when I am tired, or physically hurting, or feeling betrayed, or anything, is to realize the Jesus really understands in the way the goddess didn't - couldn't. Jesus is God in the flesh. He knows what it is to be tired (He fell asleep in a boat on a stormy sea - you have to be pretty tired to do that!), He knows physical pain, He knows betrayal. He understands me. This is such a huge thing to me to realize that I worship a God who truly understands what I am going through! The goddess could never claim that, and for that reason she seemed remote. She didn't understand what I was going through, not deep down. But this God does know - deep down - what I go through. Sure the Greek gods would take human form from time to time, but only to get what they wanted. In contrast, Jesus experienced all the joys and sorrows that come with being human. My God understands me in a way no other god ever could.

Saturday, March 26, 2005

Full body pics...

After about 50 pounds lost, at about 158 pounds. Here's some I took Friday night in my new dress.

Monday, March 21, 2005

Sunday, March 20, 2005

Palm Sunday

Ok, hmmm. Yesterday I spoke at my church. I was very nervous, even more so because we had lots of visitors. :-O I did okay, but I talked too fast and stumbled over my words several times.

I took a Benedryl and went to bed early last night (for me). I thought the Palm Sunday service today was at 10:30 and planned my route accordingly. I got cardio to and from the bus. It was about 3/4 of a mile to the bus stop (I know there is an easier way and I am going to find it next week!). Then I walked about 3 blocks to the church once I got off the bus. Somehow I made it just in time for the procession and everything.

After church I went to the coffee hour and had a couiple bites of cheese and a little black coffee. As I tried to cut off a piece of the brie I burned my hand on one of the candles they had burning. :-P

I walked up the hill to the BART station, then took the train, then had a 45 minute wait for a stupid bus, and headed to work. I knew I'd be mondo early, so I stopped at Carrow's (similar to Denny's) and had lunch.

I was okay. I started with a glass of Merlot and a Ceasar salad (no croutons and no side of bread). Then I got bad and broke down and had the breaded cheese sticks and another glass of wine. I also ordered a Cobb salad to go so I have something to eat here. They gave me a side of bread with it, but I will give it to Lisa when she comes in for her night shift.

So a salad, breaded cheese sticks, and two glasses of Merlot. Yum! Oh, I passed on the marinara sauce for the cheese sticks because it's usually full of sugar, and asked for bleu cheese instead.

Needless I say, I'm not counting today. I know I went way over on carbs and calories Friday and Saturday, so I expect a gain tomorrow when I go to the gym. :-(

Speaking at church, and assignment due, take 2

The speech went pretty fast. I think I talked too fast, and this caused me to occationally stumble over my words. I wasn't as polished as I would have liked, but I did learn that from practicing the speech DOZENS of times before I first gave it years ago to the women's group at my old church - well, that stayed with me and helped me.

We had so many visitors yesterday - people brought by another member. Must have been 4 or 5 visitors. We had roughly 34 people yesterday instead of the usual 25, give or take. Hopefully someone was meant to hear it.

Sunday, March 13, 2005

Speaking at church, and assignment due

I'm speaking at church this coming Saturday (6 days!) and I am so not ready. I haven't even been able to read through my notes once, never mind enough time to do my testimony well. Last night I BEGAN reading through the notes on my way home from the movies. Could use some prayers for more time to work on the actual speaking part (the notes I have from 1997 are fine for the outline).

I'm also starting to feel the crush of my devotions assignment coming due in a couple weeks. I made my first real attempt at actually WRITING them today now that the outlining is done. However, it doesn't take more than 4 or 5 devotions before my brain is fried and I need a break.

I could use prayers that my testimony will come off well, and that the devotions will be finished before the deadline.

Saturday, March 12, 2005

The Passion Recut

Well, it was still a good movie the second time around. But I don't get the "recut" part. What was cut? It was still very much rated "R." The movie theater also said that since it was unrated and violent, they would treat it as rated "R." Still no one under 17 allowed without a parent or guardian.

There were very few people in the theater - only 5 or 6 others besides me. It's not very popular the second time around. Oh well. If you missed it the first time, don't miss it this time! :)

Friday, March 11, 2005

Terri Schiavo

It really looks like it's winding down and she will die a most horrible death (.pdf document).

I don't know what to say except Kyrie eleison, "Lord have mercy." :(


Got a call from a family friend tonight who talked to my dad, who lives out of state. His blood sugar was soaring because he wasn't properly controlling it, so he drove himself the long drive to the VA hospital (dad's a veteran so he gets free, if substandard, care).

Anyway, they said he needed to go on insulin injections - his pills wouldn't cut it anymore. He got all the way back home, only to discover he had no idea how to give himself a shot. He decided to drive back to the hospital and have the doctors explain it to him again. As my dad has no cell phone, no one has heard from him or is able to call him.

So I guess people are starting to worry why he's not yet home from his second trip. Also, here's another example of why I need to stay on Atkins and control my weight. I take after my dad in every way. I don't want to share his fate.

And oh yeah, my Dad's not saved. :(

Tuesday, March 08, 2005

Old Picture of Me

Here's a picture someone found of me about 6 months before I started to diet. I probably weighed around 200.

Monday, March 07, 2005

50 pounds lost!

Can we all say woohoo people? I knew we could. I weighed in today at 158, but it didn't hit me until I got to work that that is 50 pounds gone! Woohoo! Wheeeeee!
Today I am wearing a denim shirt that shows my midriff, and I look sexy if I do say so myself. I couldn't help but admire myself when I would pass a store and see my reflection in the window. :-)

[does happy dance]
As of today I have officially lost 50 pounds! Woohoo! It's a new low and I am wearing a sexy demin shirt and I feel soooo sexy.

Had extra time at the gym today so after cardio and weights I went back to cardio and did another 20 minutes.

My stepper from Harriet Carter came along with a bunch of other random items I ordered. Some items weren't included but the packing slip said they should be shipped within a month.

Gosh, I am doing so good! I hope I am protecting my muscles with my protein drinks. I tried the Atkins powdered chocolate one today. It's not great, but it's passable. I think Keto tastes better and has more protein and fewer carbs.

I did great on calories yesterday. I did go to bed very hungry, but I didn't want to eat anything because it was already WAY past my bedtime and I was still up. Otherwise I would have had the ice cream bar. But I'm supposed to be in bed at 1 and it was already 1:30 so I scrapped that idea. Anyway, total calories yesterday was 1356. Carbs were 59g and fat was a piddley 36g. Protein was good though, at 144g.

March 6 food journal Is that awesome or what?!

Sunday, March 06, 2005

Splurged yesterday at the church potluck with a frozen burrito. Other than that I did okay. Stayed away from the soup because it had rice, but the salad was good and I had two big servings of it. I think ot was spinach salad with sliced apples.

When I got home I ate some ice cream, but this brand had more calories than the B&J's last week so I only ate about half the pint instead of the whole thing. Still, I ate other sweets and way overdid the sugar alcohols. I paid for it. Don't want to do that again. When will I learn that excessive sugar alcohols cause problems for me?

Woke up early this morning to go to church (7:30 am). I was way too tired and turned over and went back to sleep. Decided to stay in bed when 9:30 rolled around, too, and just skip working out today. I got at least 10 hours sleep and boy did I need that! I'll go to the gym tomorrow for sure.

Haven't been as hungry for the last week; not sure why. I've come in under my max of 2150 calories a day. However, I can tell from my jeans I haven't lost anything. Hopefully when TOM is gone I'll see the scale drop a bit. The low to beat this month is 158.75.

I run into ignorance about Atkins everywhere I go, not just here, but at the grocery store today. One woman behind me said that people on low carb diets had to have "heart stints" put in, presumably because of high cholesterol. I told her that mine was 151. I don't think she cared. But it made me mad. Where do people get these "facts" they believe and parrot off? This woman and the other with her were overweight and looked like they were headed toward heart stints, not size 10 me with a total cholesterol of 151. Sheesh.

Still, Dr. Atkins weathered the criticism, so I guess if I'm going to follow this WOE, I have to as well.

Had low carb Total cereal for breakfast. I'm not a big cereal eater, but I do occationally like to have it so I always keep a supply around. Lunch will be canned spinach with shrimp thrown in. I was out of all other meat. I stopped at the store today and bought ground turkey (it was on sale), and some cooked pastrami that I only have to cut and throw into a bowl. This will last me until I get the turkey cooked.

Last week I discovered that Albertsons has very few low carb products. Good thing I shop at Safeway. They at least carry far more variety of stuff. Bought two boxes of the Carb Well peanut butter cereal bars. They taste really good and are great for a quick breakfast. They were on sale for only $2.50 a box. They are advertised as being for the South Beach diet, but they works well for me on Atkins.

No swimming this week due to TOM. Maybe next week. I love my swimsuit and how I look in it!

Friday, March 04, 2005


I had a strange (but good!) dream last night. I dreamed I was with Jesus. One other person was there, too, but I don't remember who they were anymore. I almost never dream about people I know (like my family). My dreams are always me interacting with people I don't know. I don't remember talking with Jesus about anything specifically; the thrill was just to be with Him, you know? It was like "Wow. This is the Person who's done so much for me." I remember I was wearing my dark blue stretch blue jeans - the ones I wear almost every day. He was wearing the kind of thing I've seen in movies as far as middle eastern dress 2,000 years ago. It felt so good to hug him and smile and see him smile back.

I think I must have been on the edge of consciousness to remember the dream so well, but I didn't want to wake up because it was such a sweet dream.

Wasn't someone in chat last night saying to everyone, "Sleep well in Jesus"? Heba? lol

It was just a weird, cool dream. I hope I have it again. :)

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

No Longer "Overweight"!, take 2

And from another forum where I said the same thing in different words:
For someone my height (5'7"), the highest "healthy weight" is 159. For days I've been hovering at 160-161 - very frustrating. Anyway, as of today, March 1, 2005, I have crossed that line and weighed in at 158.7! :) I am now officially in the healthy weight range for my height! :o)

I still have a ways to go, but I'm getting there!

I'm ecstatic, floored, proud, pleased as punch, and tickled pink. :)

Check out my diet graph. The green line is where I started in the obese range; the red line is where I am. As you can see, it's finally dipped below the "healthy weight" line! :)

No Longer "Overweight"!

Ok, the weight range for a person like me who is 5'7" is 125 (low end) to 159 (high end). Today I officially crossed that line from "overweight" at 160 to "healthy weight" at 158.7! :) I am thrilled beyond words. I never in a million years dreamed I could do this. I've lost 49 pounds. :)

[dances and shouts and hollers]