Clothes shopping :) and my vegan stalker :(

Calories eaten yesterday: 1814
Calories burned: 2034
Carbs: 55g (too high to lose weight)
Fat: 79g
Calories burned in exercise: 265

Today should be the week 8 weigh-in. I'm just going to start the count over and get really serious in mid-August once I get back from vacation. I can lose weight right now, but all my efforts will end with eating dorm food for a week. I can make good choices, but I have no way of counting calories or carbs and end up overeating because my appetite is bigger than my metabolism.

I'm also lacking in motivation. My get up and go has got up and went. I'm tired and trying to lose and just want to maintain. I also want to get below 140 and stay there. *sigh*

My butt is sore. I think it's the combo of the leg exercises I did yesterday and the treadclimber. More than my poor little butt could handle. So I laid off on the leg exercises today, but did the treadclimber again because it's just so much fun and I work up such a sweat. That thing really burns the calories!

My raw vegan stalker is back, this time with a comment about me looking "ill." She conveniently overlooks the camera I was using and how bad restaurant lighting can be. (Can't look at those things because they would contradict her beliefs and the truth might be too scary.) Is it the lack of fat in their diets that screw up their brains and make them need to evangelize us poor, misguided meat-eaters? This woman has serious issues. (Gotta admit she takes good pictures, though.)

Went clothes shopping today. 1) I needed a pink tank top to go with a certain skirt I have. 2) I needed a new pair of bicycle shorts. My old ones are springing holes in the thighs.

First I went to the little boutique at 24 Hour Fitness. My club has a small store. I found a pink tank top and a white tank top with a butterfly that has some pink in it. Because the arm holes were so big I was able to get medium. Usually I have to buy large shirts to keep them from being tight under my arms. (I have large breasts that make buying shirts and dresses a nightmare.) The tops were $22 apiece. $45.68 for both, including tax.

Then I stopped at WalMart to see if they had bicycle shorts. I found only one pair, gray, that was a size 8/10 (medium) and fit well. And only $6! I also bought a pair of Levi's jeans. The "8 short" fit perfectly, just like the ones at Old Navy. I wanted denim shorts, but couldn't find blue, so I settled for green. I need another pair of shorts for Conference. It's always hot and of my two pairs, one is slightly tight and one is slightly loose, and it will be too hot to wear jeans at Conference.

The green shorts will go nice with the pink tank top. They had only sizes 4,6,and 10. The 6's looked big so I grabbed them and the 10s to try on. The 6's fit! They are "6 Misses," but they are the biggest 6's I've ever seen. I'm about 145 right now - no way would I fit a normal 6. Still, I'll take the compliment. ;) If it's still a scorcher tomorrow I'll consider wearing the green shorts and pink tank top. $42 even for all that, so $87.68 for all the clothes from both places.

I don't usually like shopping for clothes, though it's a bit more fun when I can fit into such small things and look so hot (just like the weather). :)

No time for the gym tomorrow. I have to run into the City to take another shot at getting my PIN number for my new debit card, and getting a new lock installed on my P.O. box and a new key. I paid for it all last week. Now I just need to make sure it's installed and get the key.

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Eighth weekend

Calories eaten yesterday: 1951
Calories burned: 1956
Carbs: 62g (too high)
Fat: 73g
Calories burned in exercise: 137

Tomorrow would be the week 8 weigh-in if I weren't staying away from my scale. But I am for now. I still have a lot to lose before I will be comfortable with that blasted thing in plain site. For now, it's home is a shelf in the walk-in closet where I don't have it staring at me every day, taunting my fatness.

Raging hot today, but I made it to the gym. Did weights and then cardio. I used the new treadclimber for 30 minutes. Woohoo, that thing is fun, but HARD! Made me sweat like a pig. Then walked for 20 minutes on the treadmill. That felt weird after using the treadclimber. FitDay says I burned 265 calories.

How would you like a mini tour of my apartment? I may take more pictures, but here's a picture of my cat, taken from my bed, and you can see part of the apartment in the background.


If you click on the photo it will take you to the full size Flickr photo with explanatory notes. Briefly, I live in a decent sized studio apartment (studio means zero bedrooms). I'm sitting on the bed. You can see my computer on the table and my TV next to it. Above the computer are two pictures of me when fat, to remind myself not to go there again. The bright light on the left is the open front door because it's hot and I don't have air conditioning. To the left of the front door is the vanity and walk-in closet, both of which I use for storage. To the right of the front door is the bathroom. Off to my left (out of the picture) is the kitchen. Ahead and to my left (also out of the picture), is the linen closet, which is where I actually put my clothes. Near the TV are some stacked plastic bins for stuff that doesn't go on hangers (underwear, jeans, etc.) (also not in the picture).

Dad sent me some money, so I'm doing okay in that department. I hope to deposit his check in savings and be able to start saving toward next year's vacation and Xena's vet costs. She's due in soon for her annual exam and a couple shots.

One thing I really need is a pair of bicycle pants. Mine are sprouting holes in the thighs. I need to hit WalMart and perhaps Sears. I also need a nice looking pink tank top to wear with my black and pink skirt. The only thing that "goes" with that skirt right now is a long-sleeved winter shirt. I saw a couple of tank tops at 24 Hour Fitness today that I liked, but I didn't have time to try them on.

Please check out my Flickr site. Now that I have a cell phone camera I'm taking a lot more pictures. :)

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I stuck to my diet at a party!

Calories eaten yesterday: 1824
Calories burned: 1847
Carbs: 51g
Fat: 72g
Calories burned in exercise: 0

My once-loose size 10 dress for church now fit perfectly. :( I hate being fat.

I had to go to a birthday party after church today, where there was lots of delicious food. I have to count calories seven days a week if I want to lose weight, so I couldn't even have the legal stuff. I brought a lunch with me, and pretty much stuck to plan. I "cheated" only on two bites of beef, two tortilla chips, and one strawberry. Other than that I stuck with my food and Diet Coke. It's so hard to stay on plan during times like these. I really want to be able to loosen up on Saturdays, but I don't see that happening for a while. :( I did a quick weigh-in while lightly dressed and after I had coffee and I was over 147 - that's 10 pounds over my goal. I feel I will never get there. The closest I've come so far is 0.6 pounds above and that was just for one day. Plus, I know I gained some real weight during my 5 days off plan recently.

Got on my exercise bike for 35 minutes so I could add a glass of wine and some more veggies today. I'm really hungry. And it's SO hot. I've been drinking water like there's no tomorrow.

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Sabbaths and Sundays, Common Proof Texts, #9

This is the last in my series of Sabbath articles. I hope you enjoyed it! :)

Claim: The apostle John kept Sunday and Revelation 1:10 proves this.
I was in the Spirit on the Lord's day, and heard behind me a great voice, as of a trumpet (Revelation 1:10).

It is true that "the Lord's Day" has come to be synonymous with Sunday. Does this verse then prove that the early church kept Sunday, and John's comment in passing is an implicit recognition of that?

Far from. All we can draw from this verse is that the phrase itself goes back 2,000 years. It tell us nothing about what the phrase meant. Later usages of a word or phrase cannot be applied backward in time to define it.

There are at least three other possible interpretations of "the Lord's Day" besides "Sunday."

1) First, it could be the weekly Saturday Sabbath. Jesus said He is "the Lord of the Sabbath" (Matthew 12:8, Mark 2:28, Luke 6:5), so John calling it "the Lord's Day" makes perfect sense.

2) Second, it could be the yearly Easter celebration. This would make it Sunday, but only one day a year, just as some modern Sabbath keepers attend Easter celebrations on Sunday once a year.

However, John was from an area that kept to the old Quartodecimen reckoning of the resurrection, so Easter could fall on any day of the week, and not on the day that finally won out that we today call Easter Sunday.

3) Third, and probably most likely, it could mean the second coming of the Lord. After all, John's vision is about the end of the world and Jesus' second coming. Elsewhere in the Bible this is referred to as "the day of the Lord." In fact, Christ's second coming is the focal point of the entire book.

Also, the use of the term "Lord's day" rather than "day of the Lord," merely changes the emphasis in the phrase, sort of like saying "the Lord's DAY" or "the LORD'S day." The meaning is the same; the emphasis is not.

Let me quote Samuele Bacchiocchi, since he is much more the scholar than I: "John mentions twice again the day of judgment and of Christ's coming,and in each instance he uses a somewhat different expression: 'the great day of God' (16:14) and 'the great day of wrath' (6:17)...In the New Testament, in fact, the day of Christ's coming...is described by a wide variety of expressions, such as 'the day of judgment,' 'the day,' 'that day,' the last day,' 'the great and notable day,' the day of wrath and revelation,' 'the day of our Lord Jesus Christ,' 'the day of Christ,' 'the day of the Lord,' 'the great day,' and 'the great day of God.' Christ himself calls the day of His coming 'his day' (Luke 17:24)...the expression 'Lord's day' of Revelation 1:10...can be best interpreted as a designation of the day of judgment and of the parousia." (From Sabbath To Sunday, pp. 127, 131.)

At any rate, even if "the Lord's Day" here means Sunday, there is no mention of a worship service, a day or rest, or anything else, so it still falls flat as an argument for Sunday observance. In the New Testament, Sunday is always referred to as the "first day of the week." There is not one other phrase for Sunday than that. Additionally, why would John use a different designation here, but use "first day of the week" in his Gospel?

For further study on this, please see Samuele Bacciocchi's, From Sabbath To Sunday, pp. 111-131.

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Friday, July 21

Calories eaten yesterday: 1870
Calories burned: 1940
Carbs: 46g
Fat: 83g
Calories burned in exercise: 94

Put the flax meal in my yogurt yesterday. Didn't care too much for it. It seems to taste better straight, so that's what I did today. It's pretty good. Nice and nutty and I love nuts. Here's the kind I bought.

I've had a lot of headaches for a while now. Evidently NSAIDs such as Ibuprofen are not without side effects, such as increasing the chance of a heart attack. Yike! At any rate, I found this natural remedy on Dr. Eades' blog:

I began fooling around with various doses of fish oil and krill oil and came up with a combo that works very well for me. I take two ProOmega caps made by Nordic Naturals along with two krill oil caps, along with a 500 mg curcumin capsule (curcumin is a potent anti-inflammatory derived from turmeric). This combo I take the same way as I did the Advil: before if I remember; after if I forget. If anything it works better for me than the 800 mg ibuprofen without the potential for GI problems or heart attack. And not only does it not have the potential for causing these problems, it actually prevents these and many other disorders, so healthwise it's really a win/win.

I want to try this, but it will mean laying out the money for three different supplements. I am just so tired of these near daily headaches. [Edit: It would cost about $114 for a four month supply. Ibuprofen is much cheaper.]

The water weight is coming off slowly. My size 10 shorts are big on me, so that's a good sign. So far I haven't tried on the small size 8 shorts to see how they fit. I will get back below 140! I want to be thin! I am so fat right now.

It's my weekend so it's hard to stick to my diet just because I don't have as many distractions to keep me from thinking about my hunger.

I got a pair of Isotoner slippers! My old pair was beyond falling apart. I kept checking Mervyn's and they never had the kind I wanted. At the bus stop earlier this week I found a bag of clothes sitting next to the garbage can. It had already been rifled through a bit. I rifled through it more while waiting for the bus. I found a nearly brand new pair of Isotoners that were my size! Wow. Thanks God! :) They are dark blue terry cloth with white ribbons.

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Glucose Tolerance Test, Spare the Air, and Pictures

Calories eaten yesterday: 1672
Calories burned: 1922
Carbs: 44g
Fat: 74g
Calories burned in exercise: 88

Ok, I'm getting a bit more info. on interpreting my glucose tolerance test results and my low insulin reading.

Nawchem on the low-carb forums said

I think your results are showing that you don't have insulin resistance, which is probably what starts hypoglycemia and diabetes. I think your LC fasting bs is higher because your insulin is lower when you low carb. Other things like time of day, stress etc affect it but yours is still totally normal.

And Colette on the official Atkins forum said this:

69 is low but not quite hypoglycemic, anything under 60 is considered hypoglycemic. Yes, all those carbs could have spiked an insulin response which drove your blood sugar down [last week while still low-carbing my fasting glucose was 88]. That may account for the difference in fasting blood sugar readings.

As long as the insulin is under 10, I would not worry about (an) "out of range" reading. Total means it is a snapshot reading of the total amount of insulin in your system when the test was taken at the two hour mark. This really does not tell you much. It is a valuable read if the total was above normal because you can possibly catch an early diagnosis of Insulin Resistance. In your case, there is no need for concern [corrected for spelling].

Walked the last leg to work today. Hardly anybody else was walking because it's a Spare the Air day and public transit is free. FitDay says I burned 94 calories.

Here's some pictures I took on the last Spare the Air day. The quality isn't great because they were taken with my cell phone camera. Click the photos to enlarge them.




Found flax meal at Safeway today. I bought it, brought it home, measured out two tablespoons, and plan to put it in my yogurt today. I tasted a little and it tastes nutty and not bad at all. I like it, so I think this will work out fine. :) At the very least it can't hurt. It's a very healthy food.

I also found sugar free Torani syrup. Yummy and since it's made with liquid Splenda it truly has no carbs! The only SF flavor Safeway has is Hazelnut, so that's what I bought.

Stopped at WalMart on my way in to work. I saw body pillows there, and it's something I've been considering for a very long time. I got the bright pink one. :) Also bought a strainer. Been trying to find one for a while. I've been straining with pot lids, so this will help. I also bought a new cushion for the chair; the current one is rather old. And I spotted the cutest little kitchen rug (picture) with a wine glass design. That is SO me. :) The last thing I bought was a brand of sugar free gum I hadn't tried before but was highly recommended by the person ahead of me in line. It's called Stride, and is supposed to have longer lasting flavor.

Today is payday, but due to the change in bank accounts, I have a live check. Hopefully by the end of the next cycle my direct deposit will be back in place. For now, I'll have to deposit it myself, and that will have to wait until next week. I just don't feel like leaving the house tomorrow just to go to the bank. If I decide to go for a walk or something I can always include the bank in that.

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Why did I get out of bed today?

Calories eaten yesterday: 1599 (yippee!)
Calories burned: 2140
Carbs: 43g
Fat: 70g
Calories burned in exercise: 320

Got absolutely nothing accomplished today. It was another one of those "doesn't pay to get out of bed" days.

Ran into the city to get my P.O. Box lock changed and get a new key. The person who does it was called to jury duty and wasn't there. They charged me for the new lock and key and said that it would be installed at some point and until then I'd have to wait in line and pick up my mail at the window. :-p

My checks and debit card came today. The checks were, as usual, wrong. Washington Mutual has gotten a check order right the first time precisely once out of the many times I've ordered checks. I asked them to put a rush on it and explained that I am out of starter checks.

I had trouble activating the debit card, but finally did. However, the PIN number comes separately in the mail, and I can't change the PIN to what I want until I have the PIN they send. So that means an extra trip into the City next week to get the stupid PIN. Until then, I can use the card only as a credit card and not a debit card, which sucks royally because debit is so much easier.

I ordered a new Omron pedometer today to replace the lost/stolen one. I bought The Step Diet to go with it. What the hell. It looked interesting and got me free shipping. At any rate, until it arrives I can't count steps. The McDonald's pedometer my sister gave me is so UNsensitive that it doesn't count most of the steps I take.

I walked the last leg to work today, stopping briefly at WalMart to see if they had the ground flax seed. They were out. Without my pedometer I can't know how long it took me to walk, and my sports watch with the stopwatch feature was with my purse when it was stolen. But get this - my new cell phone has a stopwatch feature! So I used that. I racked up 30 minutes and, according to FitDay, 88 calories.

Got a mailing from the clinic I go to. I think they send it to everyone with high cholesterol. I need a "therapeutic lifestyle change." Of course this "therapeutic lifestyle change" is the same old high-carbohydrate, low-fat, low-cholesterol diet, with 6-11 servings of grains, pasta, rice, cereal, crackers, and baked potatoes each day. Hahahaha! I actually laughed out loud. I'll follow that diet when hell freezes over! I only feel sorry for all the people who could be helped with a low-carb diet who will get insulin resistance and diabetes from these high-carb guidelines. And in order to "adjust the number and size of portions to reach and stay at your healthy body weight" I would likely be constantly hungry. Who wants to live like that?

Next to the "therapeutic lifestyle change" it says "see enclosed," and the doctor wrote in "please read." Enclosed is the flier that tells me to stuff myself with carbohydrates. *sigh* Why can't I find a doctor who doesn't push low-fat dogma?

And guess what? At 214 with all other numbers in range and even excellent, I'm not worried.

I got my glucose tolerance test results back today, but have no idea how to interpret them. Here's what I posted on the low-carber board, the Protein Power board, and the official Atkins forum.

I have a question about my GTT that I had recently. My fasting glucose was 69, and two hours after the oral glucose was 89. Totally fine, although last week my fasting glucose was 88! Could that be because the high carb diet I had to eat for this test is driving my fasting blood sugar down? And isn't that bad?

The odd thing was the insulin I had them test for. There's no fasting and 2 hour range given, just an "insulin total." I'm not sure what that means but it's 3 and listed as out of range. Normal range given is 6-27. I know Dr. Eades' book says it should be under 10. Is a low reading cause for concern and what does "insulin total" mean? Total of what?

If anyone out there can help me, I'd be appreciative. Just leave a comment.

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Argh!!!!!!

Back onto Atkins today and doing good so far. Total carbs should come in under 45. I wanted to get my carbs down further by eating lots of eggs, but after yesterday's cholesterol results, I tossed out those plans. Argh!

Made it to the gym and did about 30 minutes of weight training. My extra body weight (I am probably about 10 pounds heavier from eating high carb) made exercises such as the weight assisted chin-up much more difficult. I can't wait to get this extra weight off! I did 50 minutes on the treadclimber - great fun and a great workout. FitDay says 320 calories burned.

I'm so bloated from all the carbs I've eaten. I look at myself is the mirror and everything is puffier. I hardly have a waist anymore, and my belly hangs down more than usual. I hate this. Argh! I feel so much better low-carbing.

I need to remember this when tempted with all the desserts at Conference this year. I also need to find the gym and track and make sure to work out in my spare time. This is, of course, assuming my roommate doesn't snore (most woman do, it seems) and keep me awake. Out of four roommates in four year, only one didn't snore.

I was only a little sore yesterday after my 5 mile treadmill run on Sunday. I'm also a little sore today, but only a little. It's just a matter of getting my body used to the intensity and length.

I lost my pedometer today! Amazon won't let me use PayPal, my checking account number is at home, and I don't have my new debit card yet. So I couldn't even buy a new one. I did bid on a couple on ebay, though, so we'll see where that goes.

I checked with the lost and found at the front desk of the health club (I lost it at the club), but no one had turned it in, which means someone stole it. God, I hate thieves! What is it with my getting ripped off so much lately?! Argh!

And then when I get to work there is am e-mail from my boss Jon saying that the three weeks notice I gave for my vacation (and I have to find my own replacements) isn't enough. He chides me for pushing the deadline when the deadline is three weeks off, and gives a veiled threat that I might not be able to go?!? What is he smoking?! Argh!

I don't need all this stress and I really hate thieves and people who like to get angry for no reason at all, or worse - like Charlie Menut yesterday - go off on me when I can't even fit the problem. I actually had to hold the phone away from my ear and just let him talk to the air for a while. Now I know what Lisa has been going through. She's complained to me before that he yells at her for stuff, and now I've had the displeasure of being on the receiving end. Argh!

I'm tired today and I don't know if it's the lack of carbs because my body is in a carb burning metabolism right now, or if it's just that I worked out so long at the gym. I got a low-carb energy drink to help perk me up - 6g of sugar and lots of vitamins and herbs and caffeine. My favorite is Diet Rock Star, but today I had to settle for Low-Carb Monster. Argh!

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My latest cholesterol numbers

My blood tests results:
My total cholesterol is now over 200 and up a whooping 48 points from my last test (WTF?!?), and my LDL is up 40 points to 124, though still within normal range, which is under 130. However, my HDL is up another 8 points to 82, so my HDL/cholesterol ratio, while higher than last time, is still in the low risk range at 2.6, with anything under 3.5 considered ideal. The doctor said she had never seen HDL so high and so was unconcerned about the total being a little high. Triglicerides once again remained stable (and very low) at 38. My fasting glucose was 88.

Test type...July 13, 2006...(June 13, 2005 )...(June 11, 2004)...normal range

Lipids
Cholesterol...214...(166)...(151)...<200
Triglicerides...38...(39)...(38)...<150
VLDL...8...(8)...(8)...5-35
LDL...124...(84)...(98)...<130
HDL...82...(74)...(45)...>40
Cholesterol/HDL ratio...2.6...(2.2)...(3.4)...(this keeps me in the "low risk" category for heart attack - anything below 3.5 is "low risk")

Comprehensive Metabolic Panel
Glucose...88...(75)...(90)...65-99
Urea nitrogen...19...(13)...(25)...7-25
Creatinine...1.0...(0.8)...(0.9)...0.5-1.2
Calcium...8.9...(8.6)...(9.2)...8.5-10.4
Sodium...140...(138)...(141)...135-146
Potassium...3.8...(4.0)...(4.4)...3.5-5.3
CO2...26...(22)...(21)...21-33
Chloride...107...(105)...(107)...98-110
Protein, Total...7.1...(6.6)...(7.2)...6.0-8.3
Albumin...4.4...(4.2)...(4.3)...3.7-5.1
Globulin...2.7...(2.4)...(2.9)...2.0-3.9
A/G ratio...1.6...(1.8)...(1.5)...1.0-2.5
Bilirubin, Total...0.4...(0.5)...(0.7)...0.2-1.3
Alkaline Phosphatase...29...(38)...(37)...20-125
AST (SGOT)...21...(15)...(12)...2-35
ALT (SGPT)...20...(15)...(12)...2-40

Web page is here.

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I hate doctors!

Settle in for another long post. My life has been nothing if not dramatic lately.

Doctors suck. They just do. I will never go to a doctor again and ask for something without knowing exactly what I want and why. I told the physician's assistant last week that I wanted a glucose tolerance test, and that I knew I wasn't diabetic, but thought I might have insulin resistance or hypoglycemia. So what does she do? Order a straight glucose tolerance test that will tell me if I'm diabetic or not! I just got done telling her I wasn't diabetic! Hello?! Anyone home?! To test for insulin resistance you need a GTT including testing for insulin levels.

I found out she hadn't ordered the insulin part until after the test, and proceded to go around in circles with the doctor's office to 1) get them to alter the test to test for both glucose and insulin, and 2) make sure they tested insulin at both the fasting and second hour draw.

I made a big enough bitch of myself (the squeaky wheel gets the grease) that I eventually got to talk one-on-one to a physician's assistant. She said they contacted the lab, told then to test for insulin, and the lab had tested for both glucose and insulin at both blood draws. Ok, cool.

She said to call Wednesday and they would have the results for me.

Then I asked her about my cholesterol and complete metabolic panel and asked them to fax me the results. She said my cholesterol was a bit high, and I asked her what it was. When she said 214 I could have had a heart attack! It's jumped 48 points, and 40 of those points are LDL (bad cholesterol)! I think it might be time to add flax seed and cut back on the eggs.

She wasn't worried because the HDL (good cholesterol) was so high. At 82 she said she's never seen it so high, and with HDL the higher the better. I know it's so high because I exercise so much.

In The Protein Power Lifeplan optimal cholesterol should be between 160 and 220, so at 214 I'm totally normal.

At any rate, I'm looking at ways to get the LDL down a bit. The rest of the numbers are awesome. Eventually I will put all the numbers online, with past results and normal ranges. I'll put a link here when I've done that.

Walked well over 10,000 steps yesterday, easy considering my 5 mile run that racked up 9300 steps all on it's own. 18,000 is definitely a new record. :)


Click to enlarge.
Ok, on to food today. The GTT is a fasting test, although I found out today that the reason they ban coffee is because people put cream and sugar into it. They said black coffee was fine. Well, why didn't you tell me before? I prefer my coffee black! So after I'd drunk the glucose drink I went over to the Starbucks in Safeway and got a small black coffee. Between that and three Ibuprofen tablets to deal with my headache, I started to feel human again. Plus the glucose drink got my blood sugar up so even though my tummy was empty, my body thought I'd eaten something.

After the second blood draw I walked over to Burger King and got a Whopper with cheese (no fries or anything else). I ate that while waiting for the bus. When I got to work I went next door to the mom and pop burger joint and got a cheeseburger, fries, and coffee shake. They have the best burgers and fries.

For a snack later I ran over to the gas station across the street and got a cappuccino and a Snickers bar.

Dinner was at Subway and semi-healthy. I got a 6-inch tuna on sourdough with a Diet Coke and chose cookies as my "side." (They give you a choice of chips, raisins, or two cookies.)

Back on Atkins tomorrow, and I should be able to hit the gym as well.

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Doctor image courtesy of WaveJumper.

Third and fourth day off Atkins

Settle in with (sugar free) hot cocoa. This is a long post.

This was supposed to be the seventh weekend since getting serious about my diet again, but since I am off plan, I'll title this post "Third and fourth day off Atkins," and indeed, yesterday was my third day off, today is fourth, and tomorrow is fifth and last since tomorrow is my blood test.

Yesterday I had blueberries and Half and half for breakfast, ran over to 7-11 on the break at church and got some sort of sweet Mexican coffee (very good), and a couple packages of crappy candy. Even though I had announced during the prayer and sharing time that I was off plan due to my upcoming glucose tolerance test, kids never listen, so when the kids walked into 7-11 they said, "Victoria, what happened to your diet?" and I had to explain all over again. *sigh* Kids. That pretty well filled me up so I only had a light lunch at the potluck.

Then we had the church business meeting, and then we went home.

Brad arrived just a few minutes after me and we went to the IHOP in Union City. I was hungry by that time. I got the regular breakfast with the funnel cakes (I chose blueberry). It also included two eggs, hash browns, and bacon or sausage (I chose bacon). The funnel cakes were warm and luscious, full of carby goodness. Brad said I should take a picture. I don't normally carry my digital camera around with me, but I did have my new cell phone that includes a camera feature. I pulled it out and took a pictures of the funnel cakes, then had Brad take a picture of me eating them. The quality isn't great (that's what you get with a cell phone), but here they are.




Then we went to Borders where I bought the Protein Power Lifeplan. I also found an Atkins Carbohydrate Gram Counter. I lost the one I had when my purse was stolen, so I bought that, too.

Then we walked over to the Vitamin Shoppe and I picked up another bottle of L-Carnitine. It's good for fat metabolism, so it's a good low-carb diet supplement.

Today I had strawberries with Half and Half for breakfast, then went to Taco Bell for lunch to try one of those new crunchwrap supremes. It's really good! I loved it and it wasn't messy at all. Yummy! It was cheaper to get the meal, so it came with a taco and a large drink (I got Diet Coke).

Then down to Starbucks. They didn't have the coconut creme bars anymore, but they had the banana coconut Frappuccino, so I got that with a slice of banana coffee cake with chocolate chips. Oh divine! I bought some chocolate covered cherries as I left, but haven't eaten them yet.

Then I went to WalMart to get my apartment keys copied, and picked up some chocolate covered Oreos. I won't eat the whole box. I'll have some and then share the rest. I just haven't had them in so long.

Dinner tonight is a Hungry Man Sports Grill dinner with a burger and potatoes. 82g net carbs according to the package. Yike!

After all the carbs the last few days, I was finally able to hit the gym today and I have two pieces of exciting news. First, but least important for today, is that the treadclimbers are back! They got rid of them ages ago because they kept breaking down. Well, they were back today and I am itching to get on one!

I didn't do the treadclimber today because when I'm all carbed up I like to use the extra energy for running. Today I ran 5 miles on the treadmill! It took me 59 minutes, plus a 1 minute warmup. Due to the warmup I knew I wouldn't get to 5 miles without ramping up the speed, so near the end I was going 6 mph trying to make 5 miles before my time was up. I felt like my heart would burst out of my chest! 5 mph I can do. I can even do 5.1 or 5.2 without too much difficulty. But 6? No way. Way too fast for me.

At any rate, I ran for 5 miles - a new record for me. Whew! I'm tired and I'll likely be sore tomorrow. Needless to say, I had no problem making 10,000 steps already today. I'm currently over 15,000 for the day as I type this.

The lethargy that carbs give me is in full swing. I nearly fell asleep - sitting up -during the church business meeting yesterday and I never do that! I am looking forward to getting back on plan. It's been fun but I have to scream now, lol. Of course, I'm getting precious little fiber, so I am supplementing right now.

Tomorrow's the big day. I hope my body is making the switchover, and I hope they test for insulin levels and not just glucose. I wish this were a five hour test with insulin levels. That's the benchmark.

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Treadmill photo courtesy Treadmill Tips.

Second day off Atkins

I did end up eating before dinner yesterday. When I baked the communion bread I also made some sugar free brownies (the only brownie mix I keep in the house). Due to the flour the brownies are 9 carbs per serving, so I figured they were still pretty high. Anyway, I ate half the pan. Yike! Once I start eating carbs I simply can't stop. This is why it's best for me to just not start.

Then Brad and I got super burritos from Geraldo's. I got a Diet Coke to drink. Regular soda is too sweet anymore, so I don't drink it. We went to a high place to eat and look over the bay area. The wind blew and blew over my Coke and spilled it all over the picnic table and me. Brad ran to the van and got me some paper towels. Thankfully, since it's diet, it wasn't sticky, and I managed to keep it off my shorts. So no harm done other than losing a good portion of the can.

Bought some berries yesterday and ate the blueberries this morning. They are so good drowned in Half and Half. Yum. Blueberries and cream the natural way! I also ate more of the Atkins brownies. They are sooo good made with coconut oil.

Brad is coming by tonight and we are going to IHOP. I told him I'd never had funnel cake before and we are going to rectify that. :)

Today I will be at church all day. We have a business meeting this afternoon and I'm the church clerk so I have to read the minutes and take notes. :-p

It's strange to eat this way and have so many cravings. And last night I didn't get up to pee in the middle of the night like I usually do. I've very bloated and my belly is sticking out. I had to loosen my belt. I've gained a good inch in my waist, and my size 10 shorts fit nicely now. I'm not even going to try on my size 8 jeans because I know they won't fit now.

Gotta go. Have a good Sabbath everyone!

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First day off Atkins

Got up early so I could go to McDonald's for breakfast. I love their McGriddles and almost never get them, even on a cheat day, because I wake up too late. So I got up early so I could have that. Yum! I love the combination of the high sugar and high fat. I swear I could eat them every day! By the time I finished it was the switch over to lunchtime so I had a small fries and a fudge sundae. Then I got a milkshake at a burger joint down the street and headed home.

Yes, that's a lot of food, but I will be full for a while and don't plan to eat again until dinner. I'm hoping to go with Brad to Geraldo's, this little Mexican mom and pop place that makes killer burritos. I used to eat there a lot when I was fat. So that will be dinner.

You know where I really want to go? IHOP. I have never had a funnel cake in my whole life. Ever. I want to try one. Surely there is one in this city somewhere.

This feels so weird. I'm tired after eating a high carb meal. I don't get tired after eating an Atkins meal of meat and veggies because there's no blood sugar spike and drop. I'm getting headaches. Yesterday I craved protein something awful. If there is such a thing as the Induction flu switching to a fat metabolism, it makes sense there would be a similar flu going back to a carbohydrate metabolism. At any rate, I feel lousy. I'm already looking forward to getting back on plan and feeling energetic again.

It's strange to be thirsty and drink and never pee. Carbs cause water retention so I am bloating up quite nicely. :-p

I'd be lying if I said I'm not enjoying eating all this forbidden food. It's just that in the long run the forbidden food is forbidden for good reason - it does not make my body happy, and an unhappy body is a Very Bad Thing.

Walked over 10,000 steps yesterday, even considering I did not make it to the gym.


Click to enlarge.
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Victoria the Pin Cushion

Weight: 139.4
Calories eaten yesterday: 1811
Calories burned: 1885
Deficit: 74 calories
Carbs: 40g (good)
Fat: 90g (yippee!)
Calories burned in exercise: 44

Even though I didn't do any formal exercise yesterday, I still managed to rack up over 9000 steps on my pedometer. I counted 15 minutes of exercise (in my exercise journal) for all the walking I did to and from WalMart, but didn't count anything else. I was running all over. It was a very productive day, if frazzling.

I walked the last leg to work today, for a total of 30 minutes and 88 calories. Yippee. Back to some semblance of normalcy.

Went in for the first of my blood tests today - cholesterol and a complete metabolic panel. I decided to go in next week for the thyroid and glucose tolerance test. Helen said I should have the GTT. For it, Dr. Atkins says to eat at least 150g of carbohydrate a day for at least four days beforehand. I think I'll do the test Monday and start today, with Monday being my last high carb day, then back to Atkins again. I almost can't wait to get back on program because I know I'll feel awful the next few days and I know how great I feel on Atkins! :)

This will mean putting the scale away for a couple of weeks and not weighing in. Anytime I cheat on low-carb for more than a day I gain about 10 pounds. Guess I'll be wearing a lot of skirts until I can get the weight off again. I'll probably take the ticker above out for a while since moving it up 10 pounds would be too depressing, and start my cheat free count over.

Stand by me through this all because I'm not good at intentionally going off plan and gaining a ton of weight just for a blood test, but there doesn't seem to be any other way to get a correct reading. As Dr. Eades explains in this blog post:

Following a low-carb diet makes one a little glucose intolerant, which is the reason that the instructions for a glucose tolerance test always include the admonition to eat plenty of carbs in the week before the test. Why? Because all the macronutrients--glucose, fat and protein--are broken down by enzymes during the metabolic process. And all the enzymes necessary for the metabolism of the various macronutrients are made on demand but not immediately. If you are on a high carbohydrate diet, then you will have plenty of enzymes on hand to deal with the carbohydrates you consume. If you switch to a low-carbohydrate diet, it takes a while to manufacture the enzymes in the quantities needed to deal with the extra fat and protein that your metabolic system hadn't been exposed to. This deficiency of protein/fat metabolizing enzymes is the reason people starting a low-carb diet become so easily fatigued--they've got plenty of enzymes on hand to break down carbs, they just don't have the carbs to metabolize. Once they produce the enzymes necessary to deal with the load of protein and fat, which takes a few days, they become low-carb adapted and no longer feel fatigued.

Once people become low-carb adapted--as I hope we all are--then the same thing happens if they go face down in the donuts. They don't have the enzymes on board to deal with the sudden influx of glucose, and, as a consequence, their blood sugar spikes higher than it would on a person eating the same amount of carbohydrate who is already carb adapted.

So to give my body the chance to manufacture the right enzymes, I need to eat plenty of carbs in the days leading up to the test.

I had them use my left arm for the blood test today and it hardly hurt at all. My left arm has a really good vein running down it. It's so good it actually pops out of the skin a little. I'll have to remember this for the future and have them draw from my left arm next week.

Anyway, in other life news, Brad said he would take me grocery shopping tomorrow afternoon, so I didn't do that today. I also need to bake communion bread tomorrow.

I finally got my Xanax today. Whew! What a hastle that was. I asked for a second vial so I could split the pills up. That way I won't lose them all if I lose my purse. I have 30 pills so I split them 15/15. Hopefully, that will prevent this from happening again.

Called the post office today and they said they could change the lock for me and have a new key; they just wanted to know what day I'd be coming in and I told them next Wednesday. This will be the last loose end to tie up and then all will be well.

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This Fallen World (reprise), take 3

Tried the kefir last night. It basically looked and tasted like thin plain yogurt. Not too exciting since it has more calories than plain yogurt. Oh well, now I know.

Today was insanity defined. Called Long's and they said still no prescription. Called the doctor; they said he wouldn't give me a prescription without coming in to see him (for the $85 fee, of course!). My doctor wasn't in, but they set me up with a female physicians assistant. On my way to the doctor I ran into the owner who was getting ready to put a new lock in. He gave me the key to the new lock, and the laundry room key. The building manager is supposed to leave a new elevator key in my apartment.

When I got to the doctor's office, the physician's assistant wrote me a prescription for 30 Xanax of 0.5mg strength. I left the prescription there so they could fax it to Long's and they could have the prescription for me by tomorrow.

Then down to Alameda Towne Center where my bank has a branch. I deposited the vacation money. Then I took the bus down to WalMart and did some shopping: a new purse and makeup case to replace the stolen ones; a new pullman travel case to replace my pullman backpack, which is in sorry shape; and a new laundry basket as the one I have is so broken as to be useless. I also got the new house key and the gate key copied so I would have a set to give to Brad when he watches my cats when I go on vacation.

I got to work and was promised I would have a new key card today. Meanwhile, a package had arrived. It was my new phone! I opened it, activated it, got the number changed, and then called my family with the new numbers. I programmed in a bunch of numbers. This is a real nice phone with a camera feature. Whether or not I will ever get those pics from the phone to my computer...well, that remains to be seen.

I retrieved two messages I'd received in the meantime. One from my sister that I knew about, and the other from the chiropractic office saying the doctor already sent the check in, and he would be charged $5 when it bounced. Therefore, the $55 I owed for my last appointment is now $60. :(

I jumped online and paid a bunch of bills, but my Verizon bill isn't showing the charge for the new phone (?).

I have the mail-in rebate ready to mail in except that all my stamps were stolen with my purse. I borrowed an old stamp from Susanna down the hall, and need to add two 1 cent stamps to it when I get home.

I wrote out another rent check, this for the entire amount of the August rent, and I'll put that in the drop box when I get home tonight.

So I'm sitting here struggling with the new phone, frazzled beyond belief. I won't be able to grocery shop tomorrow before work. I think I'll ask Brad if he can take me shopping on Friday afternoon.

Excuse me while I scream.

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Day 44

Weight: 139.4 (same as yesterday)
Calories eaten yesterday: 1835
Calories burned: 1882
Deficit: 47 calories
Carbs: 44g (good)
Fat: 79g (good)
Calories burned in exercise: 88

Under 140 for the fourth day in a row! Yippee!

I had to see the doctor today (see above post), and she ordered more blood tests for me. She said it's been over a year since I had a thyriod test, so I'll be getting that, and I asked for a Glucose Tolerance Test. She ordered the two hour kind.

Walked over 10,000 steps yesterday, even considering I did not make it to the gym.


Click to enlarge.
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Day 43

Weight: 139.4
Calories eaten yesterday: 1397 (yippee!)
Calories burned: 1850
Deficit: 453 calories
Carbs: 45g (too high for the number of calories)
Fat: 45g (way too low)
Calories burned in exercise: 0

Up almost two pounds today, but I'm still under 140! :) In fact, this is my third day in a row and my fifth day total under 140. Yippee!

I know I ate very little yesterday. (Less than 1400? Yike!) I was out of the house most of the day, came home and ate something, and by the time I was hungry again it was time for bed, and it's easy for me to go to bed hungry.

Walked part of the way to work today and managed to rack up 30 minutes and 88 calories, so not too bad there. Hopefully I will be able to walk again tomorrow. I have GOT to get some exercise in. I won't let some crazy, stupid nutjob stop me from achieving my goals! And at the very least,when all else is out of my control, I do have control over what I eat, which is why I haven't fallen off the wagon due to this. My weight and fitness are under my control and not the nutjob's, and thank God for that!

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This Fallen World (reprise), take 2

Was very busy yesterday, even though I got very little accomplished. First I went to the bank to open a new checking account. They couldn't close out my old one because there was one charge pending. Once that clears I can request it be closed. I also withdrew $40 in cash so I could start replacing the stuff in my purse.

Then I went to 24 Hour Fitness to have them start drafting my new checking account. They already put through a charge on the debit card. That will be rejected and returned and there's nothing anyone can do. The club manager promised I'd have access to the club even while this is getting sorted out.

Then over to Long's Drugs, where I remembered my Xanax had been in my purse. My prescription had expired, so the lady there helped track down my current doctor to ask him if I could get my Xanax. He was unreachable, and after two hours I finally left. While there I bought a few items that had been in my purse - nail clippers, a coin purse, a yellow highlighter, and a travel size Secret deodorant.

Then down to Alameda Towne Center to Walgreens to buy Slim Mints, the mints that I carry in my purse. Then over to Petco for a frivolous purchase - a Betta fish to replace the one that died quite a while back.

Today I first walked around my neighborhood checking garbage cans and dumpsters for my purse or its contents. Then I got on the bus and my first stop was Farmer Joe's where I was able to finally buy kefir. They only had the quart size. I will have a 1/2 cup tonight to see if I can stomach it or not. I've never tried it. I also picked up a pint of Half & Half since I need something like that to make the communion bread this Friday.

I got the spare keys copied today so I can now give them back to the building manager. They are needed for when I lock myself out or some such. I still need a new laundry room key and a new mailbox key. I have also left a message for the building owner about the laundry and mail keys.

Bought a new wallet at WalMart and had my eye on a brown denim purse (I don't want to get the exact same blue denim purse), but didn't have the cash for it and most places don't take starter checks without name and address printed on them. The checks will take a while because Washington Mutual almost never get the checks right the first time and I have to return them and have them redone.

I will make sure I can wear my new purse over my head and across my chest so it can't be snatched!

Called Long's. Still no word from my doctor. Called him again and left another message for him to phone in the %^$*#& prescription!

Got my check for the vacation time I cashed out. Will deposit that tomorrow and check on my prescription again. I could sure use the Xanax right now.

Jon is back from vacation so he gave me a new key to my locker. Carla says she will process my new key card just as soon as Louise gives it to her, so it is in the works.

I did walk part of the way to work today. I came in from Eastmont Mall and instead of getting off at the BART station I stayed on until we crossed the ramp, then got off and walked the rest of the way. Counting going to WalMart and a little detour, I racked up 30 minutes and burned 88 calories.

I also want to add that I have been overwhelmed by the amount of help that has been offered to me (you know who you are!). Thank you. I think I will be okay, but your generosity means a lot. And thanks to B for reminding me that I will need to update PayPal with my new information when I get it. That totally escaped my notice.

My vacation check came today and that will go a long way toward paying bills, rent, etc.

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Week 6 Weigh-in

Week 0: 144
Week 1: 147.2 (+3.2 lbs.)
Week 2: 143.2 (-4 lbs.)
Week 3: 141 (-2.2 lbs.)
Week 4: n/a
Week 5: 141 (0 lbs.)
Week 6: 137.6 (-3.4 lbs.)

Total loss: 6.4 lbs.

This is a new low for me! My previous low was 139. Yippee! I know it's because I did really well yesterday due to the incident.
Calories eaten: 1390
Calories burned: 1821
Deficit: 431 calories
Carbs: 41g (too high for the number of calories)
Fat: 51g (way too low)
Calories burned in exercise: 0

I'll be up tomorrow and probably next week's weigh-in, too, but that's okay. I'm getting there. I'm spending more and more time in the 130s and less and less in the 140s.

Since 138 is my goal and I met that today, and even though I know I'll be over 138 tomorrow, I'll go ahead and reset my goal to 137.

The biggest thing I am looking forward to at goal is to be able to loosen up on Saturdays and indulge a bit. For now I will stay restrictive that day.

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This Fallen World (reprise)

I don't know what it is about summer that brings out the criminals. My purse got snatched today while I was waiting for the bus headed for the gym. He ran up the street, jumped into his car, and sped off before I knew what happened. At least there was no gun this time.

Unlike last time where they only took my wallet, this time they took the whole purse including my keys, my bus/train passes, and my cell phone. And that cute little kitty key ring I got as a late Christmas present.

Please pray. I'm frazzled, scared, shaken (not stirred) (that was a little humor there). Pray for the recovery of my stuff, even though I know the money will be gone. Pray someone finds the purse.

I got a spare house and gate key from the building manager, and have to get copies made. I got tomorrow off work to start all this. I don't think my home address was anywhere in my purse (I use my P.O. box for everything), but please pray for protection for my apartment, the stuff inside it, and my cats. I'm at work as I type this because not coming in wasn't an option. I really wish I were home.

I ordered a new cell phone - will cost $80, but then I get a mail-in rebate for $50. I cancelled my debit card (I don't have credit cards), and stopped payment on all the checks that were stolen (including a couple still floating around). I think I want to close out my account just to be safe, but I have to go to a branch to do that.

I have a confession and a question, if I may be permitted to get so open on a public blog. I've been giving to my church each time I get paid like clockwork. I get a paycheck, I write out a check to them based on percentage. Well, I got paid last Thursday and after subtracting the grocery receipts and writing out a check for half the rent, I was already in negative numbers. So for the first time since I can remember I didn't give anything to the church. And then my purse gets stolen today. Is God punishing me?

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Sixth weekend

Weight: 139.4
Calories eaten yesterday: 1890
Calories burned: 1968
Deficit: 78 calories
Carbs: 53g (okay)
Fat: 90g (yippee)
Calories burned in exercise: 118

Total deficit for week: 1416

Back into the 130s today! Official weigh-in is tomorrow. I'll be really good and drink plenty of water and hope for a good number tomorrow. I'm losing slowly, but the numbers are going down. I will do this!

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Sabbaths and Sundays, Common Proof Texts, #8

Claim: Hebrews 4:1-10 says that Christ is our Sabbath rest. Therefore, literal Sabbath keeping has been done away with.
Let us therefore fear, lest, a promise being left us of entering into his rest, any of you should seem to come short of it. For unto us was the gospel preached, as well as unto them: but the word preached did not profit them, not being mixed with faith in them that heard it. For we which have believed do enter into rest, as he said, As I have sworn in my wrath, if they shall enter into my rest: although the works were finished from the foundation of the world. For he spake in a certain place of the seventh day on this wise, And God did rest the seventh day from all his works. And in this place again, If they shall enter into my rest.

Seeing therefore it remaineth that some must enter therein, and they to whom it was first preached entered not in because of unbelief: Again, he limiteth a certain day, saying in David, To day, after so long a time; as it is said, To day if ye will hear his voice, harden not your hearts. For if Jesus had given them rest, then would he not afterward have spoken of another day. There remaineth therefore a rest to the people of God. For he that is entered into his rest, he also hath ceased from his own works, as God did from his.

The NASB translates verse 9 like this: "So there remains a Sabbath rest for the people of God."

First, let's look at who the book was written to and when. I think we can agree that it was written in the first century and the opening verses show it was probably written to Jewish Christians. Therefore, it was extremely likely that these Jews kept the Sabbath on Saturday.

In Hebrews 4 we find the author using the Sabbath as a metaphor for Jesus, but far from doing away with the Sabbath, he says that in Jesus there is a new dimension added to the Sabbath - that as we rest from our works "as God did from his" (Hebrews 4:10), we remember what God has done for us through Christ. It's not an abrogation of the Sabbath; it's a deeper meaning!

The word used in the first half of verse 9 for "rest" or "Sabbath rest" (depending on the translation), is a word found nowhere else in the Bible. The word is sabbatismos. It is found in extra-Biblical literature later meaning a literal Sabbath rest, but it appears here that the author was coining a new word to explain something that couldn't be explained any other way. He was explaining the new layer of meaning the Sabbath has in Jesus, not doing away with the Sabbath.

What we see in this passage is that Jesus is our true rest: this passage clearly indicates that there is another "rest" which is not fulfilled in the Sabbath observance (see verses 9-11). But this second meaning does not negate the literal Sabbath observance.

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Scripture taken from the NEW AMERICAN STANDARD BIBLE®, Copyright © 1960,1962,1963,1968,1971,1972,1973,1975,1977,1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.

Back up

Weight: 141
Calories eaten yesterday: 1864
Calories burned: 1938
Deficit: 74 calories
Carbs: 46g (good)
Fat: 83g (yippee)
Calories burned in exercise: 88

Back up today. I haven't lost anything in three weeks. I know I'm close to goal so the movement is slow, but it's still disheartening. My official weigh-in is Monday, so I need to behave. Hopefully I can get on my exercise bike when I get home from church this afternoon.

I heard about a new kind of low-carb soy milk on the low-carber forum. Soy Slender is made by WestSoy and comes in four flavors. It has only 1 net carb, but unlike the unsweetened soy milks that taste nasty without sweetener, these are already sweetened with Splenda! I didn't think I would ever find this product, but when I walked into the health food store yesterday to buy some L-Glutamine (helps build lean muscle and fight cravings), I saw this sitting in plain site. They had the cappuccino and chocolate, which are the ones I was most interested in anyway. Even better, it has fewer calories than the unsweetened - 70 versus 100.

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Back into the 130s!

Weight: 139.8
Calories eaten yesterday: 1703
Calories burned: 1905
Deficit: 202 calories
Carbs: 48g (good)
Fat: 68g (too low)
Calories burned in exercise: 79

Hit the 130s (again), though not a new low. :) My previous low was 139, so that's the weight to beat. But I'll gladly take 139.8. It's still out of the 140s, and that's what matters.

Now the weekend starts and with it boredom and lack of distractions that may cause me to eat more.

I checked my calendar and discovered I do have a chiropractic appointment today, so I should be able to get some exercise by walking to and from the 57 bus.

Regarding the raw foods vegan who's been trying to convert me to her way of eating, I remembered yesterday that I do have a vegan linked in my dropdown list. Lira at Unknown Island North is a recently converted vegan, but she doesn't feel a need to go around telling others how unhealthy their diets are.

Personally, I don't think consuming that much soy is healthy for anyone (soy is the only non-animal complete protein that exists). If humans were meant to be vegan, carbohydrates would not be unnecessary. But they are, while fat and protein are necessary. And I say this as someone who likes tofu and eats other soy products as part of my low-carb diet. I believe that humans are meant to consume animal protein - meat, dairy, and eggs.

Honestly, if I had the money I'd buy organic, but I'm not that rich. I can barely afford organic eggs, never mind meat, which I eat more of. Organic and free-range are better because they are less cruel, but I don't believe that eating meat is inherently cruel. Send me money and I'll buy organic free-range meat. ;)

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