poem: In Memoriam

Both Duane Garrett, a radio talk show host in the San Francisco Bay Area, and Jerry Garcia of the Grateful Dead died in the summer of 1995, within weeks of one another. I was working in Yosemite National Park and therefore had no one to grieve with. I wrote this in response to my feelings on the matter. Stanza 2 is about Duane Garrett, and stanza 5, the last stanza, appears to be about Jerry Garcia. The last four lines of the last stanza are about both.

In Memoriam ­ for Duane Garrett and Jerry Garcia
Yes, I remember.
The newspapers contained only a
Shadow of Truth,
What could ever be Truth,
For the only real Truth is
Out on the street corners, and
Behind closed doors.
Emotion, raw emotion--
This is Truth.

Yes, I remember.
Glossy magazine pages and
Disembodied words in the night
Telling me news that was a week old--
Old news, but
New to me.
What am I supposed to think?
A part of my world--gone.
But there is no one here to talk with.
I am alone.

Yes, I remember.
I remember being left out.
Your world is but a fantasy to me.
Still pictures and images--
Lifeless.
I was denied the reality, the emotions.
I move away, and everything changes.
When I return, all will appear
Normal;
The water closes in over the stone,
Leaving only faint ripples
Of the past.

Yes, I remember.
I remember missing the TV pictures of the
Mourning of death, the
Celebration of life.
The pictures and voices and shared memories
That are all part of the grieving process,
However small.
But that is also part of another world,
Not mine.

Yes, I will remember.
How could I forget?
Some will mourn away their tears,
While others dance them away in
Celebration of what was.
Bodies move,
Transforming pain to action and an
Outpouring of love and support
For the mutually grieved.
I can see it so clearly in
My mind's eye--
So real.
If nothing else you will be remembered
In memory, thought, and lifestyle,
And as long as these endure,
So will you.