poem: Yesterday's Wine

{Later note: Coming down from the high of the Billy Graham Crusade, I found myself in much the same place spiritually as before, yet with a love for God in my heart I had not known before.}

Yesterday's Wine
I tasted tomorrow,
The food of heaven, the wine of the Lord.
I woke up, gazing anew in Your eyes,
Seeing You for the millionth time, yet the first.
Waking from the dream of my own desires,
To who I am in You, who I can be with Your help.

Lord, why have You given me this,
Blessed me with these gifts?
I who profane Your name with my disobedience,
Spurn Your love with my self-sufficiency.
How can You love when I return hate?
How can You, why do You, love me?

Like Camelot, the gift fell through my fingers like sand,
Fading as reality fades into a dream, like falling back asleep.
But there is a new purpose in my heart, a love not beating there before because
I tasted tomorrow.
Yet now I find myself empty,
Drinking the bitter dregs of the wine of yesterday.