Saturday, October 20, 2001

That prayer thing again

[Name accidentally deleted] a while back challenged me to keep a prayer journal to see if I really got answers to my prayers, his point being that God doesn't exist. I went home and dug out an old prayer journal. It has one page of notes, with prayer requests dating from March, 1997 to January, 1998.

The first thing that jumped out at me is how many people I don't know anymore. About half the list is people I no longer have contact with. Jodie, Alisa, Joe, John...it's hard to evaluate a prayer request when you don't know the person you were praying for anymore. ;)

I do know one thing. Since I've been praying the last several weeks - getting serious about prayer for the first time - I've felt different. And isn't that what prayer is really about - changing us? We don't always get what we want. Sometimes God says "no" when we really want a "yes." Sometimes the answer comes in a form we didn't imagine. Sometimes people's free will will push God away and not make an answer possible.

But it's changing me, and I think that's the point. We can't change God, but through prayer, we can allow Him to change us. I'm tasting something beautiful for the first time. I won't give that up.

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