FINALLY!

Well, I am finally getting my blog back up. I have taken out just about every reference to ExWitch that could. There are still a few - some couldn't be avoided - but almost every reference to my casting away has been taken out. I still have the originals saved - it is a record of what happened to me and I have no reason to be ashamed. But God told me to take them out of public view and so I had to do what He said. He said vengeance is His and He will repay (or not), and I have to abide by that. I have done everything He said to, and the last thing - forgive - can only be done through prayer. All the work from here on out will be prayer work. I must learn to forgive, and, as the sermon was about today, love, even if those persons are my enemies. Oh God, please give me the mind of Christ because I cannot do these things in my own strength.

The short version...I was kicked out of EW both as a mod and a member on New Year's Day. Even though I repented of my sin, they did not consider me ready to come back, even just as a regular member. In my opinion, their treatment of me was poor, and if my church hadn't shown me mercy and grace I might have gone back to the goddess. She was sure gunning for me for 5 weeks and her voice was suductive. I finally got tired of her game, and, in a final attempt to remain Christian, prayed that God would protect me from her. Finally, God smacked her down the following week, on February 8, at City Church.

That week I also furfilled what He said to do - apologize for my part. Now I can walk away free. God also told me to massively edit the blog. The first edit wasn't enough for Him, so this is my second attempt and I trust it will be enough.

It was a mess, but thankfully it's over, and God has indeed opened a window in Cern's forum and Phil's listserve, Circle and Cross Talk. I think I am supposed to still be doing this kind of ministry. Sure the two new places aren't the same, but they are somewhat similar. I have to deal with M's presence at both places, but I pretend he isn't there. It's the best I can do.

Some lines from my poem "Soft Butterfly" come back to me:

Teach me to forgive,
As I have been forgiven,
For darkness has fluttered down,
Landing soft on my shoulders.

This is much like the song that played during the credits of The Fellowship of the Ring. This is the chorus:

Mornie utúlië (darkness has come)
Believe and you will find your way
Mornie alantië (darkness has fallen)
A promise lives within you now

I don't know if all the accent marks will show up right.