Thursday, January 20, 2011

What will I drown my sorrows in?

I admit - I have issues with binge eating and drinking too much, both done to numb my feelings, even if it's just normal daily stress and not anything life shattering.

I am trying hard to get control. I have been trying so hard to fight the binge eating on my own, and the alcohol - who cares? I haven't even attempted control with that (until recently).

I have taken pride in my weight loss and hard work, and so I do believe that the binge eating was given to me to show me that it is not my work and my will that causes weight gain or loss. I have been out of control and unable to control what or how much I eat. I battled it for a year in my own strength (and losing every battle and gaining a ton of weight) before I finally had to admit that I can't beat this on my own.

I have been praying every day for God's help in not eating or drinking too much, trying to make healthier choices, etc., and above all, stopping after a couple glasses of wine and drowning the rest of my sorrows in a John Piper book and prayer.

It isn't easy, but I know it is not God's will for me to drown and be destroyed by these things. He doesn't want them to kill me, so I have confidence that He will help. Maybe not the way I want when I want, but He will help.

God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him. His glory is above all, but it is also best for us. And so He will help, and He will overcome, and He will get all the glory

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