I'm not going to log food stuff anymore. It's too hard without decent computer access and html code doesn't post right so I can't make a link anyway.
The crap at work is still getting me down. I haven't wanted to do anything except curl up and die. Boss J. either has no idea how disruptive he is to this department, or he doesn't care. And just today he sent out an e-mail saying he was going to become more involved in this department - i.e. he's going to become even more controlling - and that we better know our jobs completely and totally and follow everything he and the SOP books say. Crap and double crap.
I can only think of one other boss I had that was this controlling. That was a woman, a mid-level manager at McDonald's. Brad thinks boss J. is insecure, that insecure people try to make up for it by controlling others. I think he may be right. I'm truly beginning to wonder if J. really is saved and if he might be truly evil rather than just inept. We both know he's a very unstable person and wonder what mental issues he might have.
Diet-wise I'm struggling big time. I'm a stress eater and the stress of working under someone who hates you both personally and professionally is oppressive. Yesterday I ended up crying at work and self-medicating with carbs. I took 4 Xanax tablets to make myself stop crying.
Today I worked out at the gym - 30 minutes of weight training and 1 hour of cardio on one of the new ellipticals. I walked to work from the train station.
You can tell it's January - lots of new faces at the gym and it's harder to get equipment and machines. I can't wait until the crowd dies down. New Year's resolutioners...blech. Leave the gym for those of us who want to pay for the privilege of going.
I'm liking my new fitness shoes. They are comfortable and do throw you off balance so your muscles have to work harder to compensate. I'm working on getting a photo of them on Flickr. With limited online time I am not just getting to bed later than usual, but falling behind on basic tasks such as uploading photos to Flickr.
Between work and my weight I've been feeling really down lately. Without a doubt I'd be suicidal if it weren't for my anti-depressant. So instead of suffering and wanting to die, I just plain suffer.
I know God is all-powerful, but when will He step in and fix this intolerable situation?
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