I am alive, but barely functioning. I am still locked in this room 40 hours a week with no contact with the outside world aside from making or receiving the occasional work-related call. This is no better than solitary confinement in prison except that I get to go home each night and sleep in my own bed. I am not doing well. I just want to curl up and die. I have a meltdown at least once a week where I cry uncontrollably, sometimes in public places.
Somehow I've dragged myself out of bed each morning and done what I have to, though I skip Wednesday's gym session to sleep in.
My birthday was good. Brad and I visited the Winchester House and the Egyptian museum. I ate lots of bad foods. :) Aside from that bright spot of taking a day off work though, life has sucked pretty bad. The meeting between Bill, boss J., Brad, and I of course never materialized. Even if it ever does, I doubt it will fix things. Boss J. is one of those people who claim to be Christian, but when you talk to him it's all about him - I want this, I think that. It's all about "I" and never about God. That is the person in control of my life 40 hours a week.
I love my job - I really do. If boss J. were gone everything would be peachy again. How can I work under a boss who doesn't even pretend to like me anymore? He treats me with disdain.
Not much more to say. Too depressed to care. Today I forgot my computer power cord so I can't even use my laptop because the battery doesn't last very long. Brad is too busy to bring me the cord so I have nothing to do today but stare at a wall.
I'll try to check in as energy allows. I just haven't felt up to writing entries lately.
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