Monday, May 23, 2011

Broken, part 2 (the overview)

It seems I am far more broken than I knew when I wrote the first Broken note on May 12. Here is an outline of what happened. I'll write more later.

Tuesday, May 17/Wednesday, May 18 - Came home from work and despair of things ever getting better. I drink of bunch of wine and attempt to overdose on Xanax at about 1 or 2 a.m. I have a full bottle and take most of it in three handfuls. Kicking myself for not finishing it off.

Brad stays up with me all night, not knowing what I had done. He checks on me. Wednesday at about 2 pm he calls 911. They find the mostly empty pill bottle that I had left on my nightstand (I debated whether to do that or not, but finally left it there). They take me to emergency. Brad stays behind.

What I have been able to guess at is that after being taken to emergency, I take another ambulance ride (after getting stable) to the psych hospital, arriving there sometime Wednesday afternoon or night. I have only a couple snatches of memory from Wednesday, both humiliating. I may tell them some other time. I am told I was combative and they had to use restraints and injections (one of which I remember - 5mg Geodon).

Thursday, May 19 - Brad attempts to find me, but emergency says they have no record of me. He phones April (my sister), and April is able to track me down to John George Psychiatric Pavilion.

I "come to" the same day and attempt to phone him and am able to connect. I was 51/50ed and now stuck at John George for up to 72 hours. The clock started running on Wednesday, meaning they had to figure out what to do with me by Friday - keep me on in a different ward, or let me go.

I stay in John George all day Thursday and into Friday morning. I learn the rules and know that I just have to obey the rules and I have a good shot at going home.

Friday, May 20 - I get evaluated by a doctor in the mid- to late morning and am cleared for going home. I haven't bathed or brushed my hair in three days. I have only brushed my teeth once (Thursday night). Brad comes and gets me about 1 pm Friday afternoon. I shower, brush through my hair, then get it chopped off to avoid this in the future (in case I am locked up again).

I have so many stories and thoughts, but my purpose now is to write an outline of events to build my stories around. I am still far too tired to write everything.

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