Thursday, March 04, 2010

Life still sucks

Food-wise and I still majorly addicted to sugar and carbs. I try to break the addiction and always binge around day 3 when my liver is depleted of glycogen and screaming for carbs.  :(  I continue to gain.

Work-wise things are not good.  I can see they never will be good while boss J. is in control, micromanaging and nitpicking. At least by threatening to audio record our conversations he has stopped haranguing me and all other communication is by e-mail where he must be civil.

I'm not sure if I stated what happened at the meeting last week or not so I'll briefly recap.  The meeting did not go well.  The two other people there went the way of the world - managers standing behind managers, backing J. all the way. The only good to come of it was that I am now allowed online between 8:20 pm and 10:50 pm when I get off. Such a small amount but every little bit helps. It's not like I can really play Cafe World on Facebook anyway because my work computer is a Microsoft piece of junk.  My Mac at home handles the game just fine.  :)  Macs rule!

The only bright spot in this mess is that I have once again been asked (for the first time is about two years) to write for the Helping Hand Bible study guide that my denomination puts out.  The downside is that the editors evidently didn't plan well and are not far behind.  They want me to write 5 week's worth of Bible devotions - the entirely of unit 1 for the winter quarter - in less than 4 weeks. It's due May 20th. Without Internet access most of the time I am forced to use a concordance to find parallel verses. I'll be writing on one passage when another pops into my head and I have to use a concordance instead of a much simpler Bible word find Website that would give me the verse instantly.

They have me doing mostly Old Testament verses, often in the prophets (mostly Isaiah).  It's much harder to write those devotions.  The Old Testament can be difficult to interpret. I am having to use my study Bible to help me understand. At any rate, it's more of a challenge than usual, though not altogether bad.  I always learn something writing these and they allow you to weave personal experience into it.

What I have learned so far is that God wants me to wait on him.  He will deal with J. in His own time.  I know I do not want to be him on that day! God will do fix this situation and get rid of J., but that time it not here yet.  I pray Psalm 13 almost daily, and today a verse from Psalm 27 popped into my head (hello concordance!). The whole psalm is another good one for me to pray, and it end with these words in verses 13 and 14: "I had fainted unless unless I had believed to see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait on the Lord: be on good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord (KJV).

Brad and I are still waiting for the front apartment to be finished until we can move in.  Until then, we are stuck sharing my tiny apartment and I am trying to avoid banging my legs on his cot every night and I get ready for bed.  :-p  It's was supposed to be done by January 1 - what the fuck is going on?!?  Grrr...

Well, that's all the news that's fit to print.  Look in the links on the right for my Flickr photos and Facebook page.  :)


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9 comments:

Pendell said...

"God will do fix this situation and get rid of J., but that time it not here yet."

Have you been given a timeframe on this? Weeks? Months? Years?

How is He going to accomplish this? By downsizing the department? By a change in leadership -- replacing Mr. Camping? By inflicting a terrible tragedy on the manager in question?

I don't believe these expectations are realistic.

IME God allows people in management to make mistakes. That's why there's so much evil in the world -- because humans make freewill decisions, and God allows them to stand. As a rule, God doesn't simply step in and make people's bad decisions go away. Not until the second coming, anyway.

Put another way: Humans in authority put Jesus on the cross and sent millions of innocents to death camps. Why exactly is God willing to allow those human bad decisions to stand ... but is willing to turn family radio upside down because you're not getting enough internet time?


The bottom line is that , if this is the course you have chosen, I would recommend preparing for a multi-year haul. It doesn't sound like he's going to go anywhere voluntarily. If you're waiting for management to fire him, you're going to be waiting a long time.

Still, a year -- or several years -- is a long time. Perhaps you will adapt to your surroundings. Or perhaps you will be able to reconcile and get more internet time, once you've established that you can handle it responsibly.

And then one day you'll be resurrected and all of this will be barely a shadow of a dream after the first few thousand years of eternal life.

Nothing is forever except God's love. Death and sorrow and pain and horror pass away, but Jesus and his love for you will never pass away.

Respectfully,

Brian P.

Pendell said...

Last thought: So God is going to fix things at AFR the way he fixed them at Exwitch? You remember, the way you were falsely accused, but how God made that all as if it never happened and you were allowed to come back?

So why are things going to be different this time?

IME God doesn't mindrape humans. He allows them to make decisions, and he allows them to suffer the consequences of those decisions ... even if they later wish he didn't.

Nonetheless, I am determined to end this on an encouraging note: However bad things get here, never forget that this thing -- like all of life -- is only for a season, not forever. I believe God has plans for you , and they are plans for your good, not your ill. That those plans aren't dependent on us being right all the time -- that as long as we're faithful to Him, and do the best we know how, good will come of it.

Respectfully,

Brian P.

Richard said...

@Pendell: Knowing this network, "that time" may come in about 15 months. Should Mr. Camping discover his well-reasoned timeline is wrong again.

Pendell said...

@Richard: Could you follow-up via e-mail at pendell@hotmail.com? You intrigue me, but I don't want to pollute Newbirth's blog further.

Respectfully,

Brian P.

Pillsbury Dough Girl said...

Brian - I think he means that Mr. Camping is going to have a lot of explaining to do when the world does not end on May 21, 2010. I know Richard online and he listens to Family Radio a lot, but does not buy into all the weird doctrine.

Pillsbury Dough Girl said...

>The bottom line is that , if this is the course you have chosen, I would recommend preparing for a multi-year haul. It doesn't sound like he's going to go anywhere voluntarily. If you're waiting for management to fire him, you're going to be waiting a long time.<

Or until he decides to leave.

>Still, a year -- or several years -- is a long time. Perhaps you will adapt to your surroundings. Or perhaps you will be able to reconcile and get more internet time, once you've established that you can handle it responsibly.<

It has NOTHING to do with the Internet. It has to do with J. Just having him as a supervisor, in the next room, watching over everything you do and jumping you for any little thing is quite bad enough.

This is a man who has no qualms about lying and once looked at me as a love interest. When I didn't return the flirting and showed no interest he decided I was a bad employee. Once his supervisor left and he had no one to account to he started his power trip.

It's not about the Internet. It's about J. having no social skills or any idea how to interact with people. It's about man who desperately wants to be married and refuses to see that he obviously has the gift of singleness. No woman will marry him. Heck, no woman will date him because he's too creepy. He's a very unhappy person who looks at everything in terms of himself and not God or others.

Pendell said...

"Or until he decides to leave."

"Once his supervisor left and he had no one to account to he started his power trip."

I first note that I have no knowledge of the situation beyond what you tell me.

But .. for the sake of argument taking your statements as gospel truth ... so why is he going to leave? What man mad with power ever willingly relinquished that power? Stepped down to be one of the nameless masses? Gave up the one thing that gives them self-esteem, makes their hateful life bearable?

Power is a drug, more intoxicating than wine, more powerful than morphine. Planning on him to leave sounds about as likely as planning for Gollum to give up the One Ring. Not even Frodo gave up the One Ring, in the end. Only such as Tom Bombadil could lightly cast it aside, and his like is uncommon in the world.

Your description of J doesn't make him sound much like Tom :).

Respectfully,

Brian P.

Sept Chronicles said...

James 1:2-4 "Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials,knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing."

Paul did not mourn when he was unjustly locked in jail... .....he sang praises to God! Job did not mourn in his afflictions....he sang praises to God!!

Proverbs 25:21,22 If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat; And if he is thirsty, give him water to drink; For you will heap burning coals on his head, And the LORD will reward you.

You are giving J. what he wants by moping around....dig deep, pull up your socks and figure out how you can heap ashes on his head!!

(I have recently read your blog from the beginning, and it has inspired me on my low carb journey. Hope the above verses can inspire YOU somewhat!!)

Anonymous said...

Hello Victoria,

(1 Corinthians 10:12-13) "No temptation has taken YOU except what is common to men. But God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear, but along with the temptation he will also make the way out in order for you to be able to ENDURE it." (Emphasis mine =).

Notice we are not promised that God will REMOVE our temptation or trial - he will help us endure it. Repeatedly the scriptures demonstrate that the faithful prayed for help to stay strong, continue in their faith and works. I agree with many of Brian's sentiments, above.

I stumbled across your blog doing low-carb, but couldn't help but comment on these other aspects!

Hope things are better now and going well spiritually and physically!

Erica