I think what saddens me the most is the e-mail Herb sent to me and a couple other people, distancing himself from me. It's as if he's afraid of loosing these people as friends if he so much as says I have a right to my opinion. No, he was firmly on their side. I am deeply saddened by this. I've known him and Ren for around 10 years. I really thought we were closer than that. Only Bragi dared to stand up for me and say I had a right to my opinion.
On the way home I couldn't help but pray that God will help me to forgive everyone. I'm very angry over the whole episode and it can be hard to forgive, especially when the other party will admit no wrongdoing and feel completely justified in name-calling and other things. Lord, help me to forgive. Help me to let go of my anger. Let me see these people through Your eyes and love them as You love them. Amen.
Monday, March 31, 2003
Sunday, March 30, 2003
Having My Eyes Opened
Well, I sent the little piece on war and celebrities to Herb and hit "Reply All" to give people a different opinion. I've been on his mailing list for months and I didn't mind the e-mails until all the e-mails became anti-war. To say the least, my opinion was not appriciated. In fact, one woman (she certainly was no lady), Ms. Sheffield, actually stated that she wasn't interested in my opinion. This is liberal-speak for "I don't want to hear any opinion that disagrees with mine and therefore refuse to discuss it with you." She also called my viewpoint "moronic" and employed other adult ways of handling disagreements. I truly feel sorry for people like her. Like a child, they stick their fingers in their ears and say, "Lalala, I can't hear you." (Which is how it ended when she said she would delete any further e-mail. At least I got the last word, even if she refused to read it, lol.)
But this was a good experience. Why? Because it showed me who these "anti-war" people really are. They don't even want to consider that there might be good reasons for the war. So instead, they call names and do everything else to end rational debate so they don't have to hear those reasons and can pretend they don't exist.
This has really opened my eyes because it wasn't just her. She was simply the most abusive one who had the guts to e-mail me. From what she said, there's an AMEN chorus to her point of view going on behind my back. As I said, they are afraid of any other POV and must protect themselves from it. The most common way is to use ad hominum attacks and refuse to reply to your opponant's arguments. They truly do not see this as sticking their heads in the sand. They don't think of themselves as being afraid of debate. No, they are the righteously angry protecters of America and freedom of speech - provided you don't say anything that disagrees with them.
But this was a good experience. Why? Because it showed me who these "anti-war" people really are. They don't even want to consider that there might be good reasons for the war. So instead, they call names and do everything else to end rational debate so they don't have to hear those reasons and can pretend they don't exist.
This has really opened my eyes because it wasn't just her. She was simply the most abusive one who had the guts to e-mail me. From what she said, there's an AMEN chorus to her point of view going on behind my back. As I said, they are afraid of any other POV and must protect themselves from it. The most common way is to use ad hominum attacks and refuse to reply to your opponant's arguments. They truly do not see this as sticking their heads in the sand. They don't think of themselves as being afraid of debate. No, they are the righteously angry protecters of America and freedom of speech - provided you don't say anything that disagrees with them.
Thursday, March 27, 2003
Water, take 3
Now that I've had some time to process this, I realized I typed a bit too hastily in my rush to leave for work. I need to clarify what I wrote earlier today. The EBMUD guy actually dropped by our house looking for payment. This is for the December bill, mind you. I explained the owner was gone (Eden was also gone, probably at work). So he said he was turning off the water, and gave me the notice of doing so. I placed the notice on the kitchen table, along with my rent check, since April rent is coming due soon.
What I'm most mad about is a couple weeks ago Lou asked me for $250. In exchange, I'd be given 45 days to move out when I leave, instead of 30. He said he needed to pay the water bill or they would turn the water off. Well Lou, what did you do with that check, eh?
Ah well, I swore my next move would be to my own place. I'm tired of the roommate treadmill.
For now, I need to snag the two bottles of water in the kitchen before Lou remembers where they are. They were mine, and I'm going to take them back now. I can brush my teeth at work. Don't know what I'll do Friday, but Saturday I can brush them at church. Laundry I'll do at the laundromat again. If worse comes to worse, I can probably wash my hair in a sink here at work. Don't yet know what do to about the shower situation.
Ah well, another adventure on the path of life. LOL. I wonder if I'm doing something right and getting certain, er....things...pissed off at me. (c:
What I'm most mad about is a couple weeks ago Lou asked me for $250. In exchange, I'd be given 45 days to move out when I leave, instead of 30. He said he needed to pay the water bill or they would turn the water off. Well Lou, what did you do with that check, eh?
Ah well, I swore my next move would be to my own place. I'm tired of the roommate treadmill.
For now, I need to snag the two bottles of water in the kitchen before Lou remembers where they are. They were mine, and I'm going to take them back now. I can brush my teeth at work. Don't know what I'll do Friday, but Saturday I can brush them at church. Laundry I'll do at the laundromat again. If worse comes to worse, I can probably wash my hair in a sink here at work. Don't yet know what do to about the shower situation.
Ah well, another adventure on the path of life. LOL. I wonder if I'm doing something right and getting certain, er....things...pissed off at me. (c:
Meanwhile, Back At the Ranch... (Water, take 2)
...I finally get ahold of Lou, who tells me the water is back on. He then procedes to blame everything on me. "You should have called me on your cell phone;" "I didn't deposit the check you gave me two weeks ago because I've been busy" (for two WEEKS you couldn't make a trip to the bank? yeah right!). This guy is a master at blaming others for his problems. From listening to Lou today you'd think it was all my fault! Luckily, I don't fall for that, or play that blame game. Go make someone ELSE feel guilty, sweety, because it don't play with me.
I've decided it must officially be "beat up on Victoria week." First I get the angry idiot gung ho for the war on Darce's board on Delphi, then I get blasted by a guy on EW who's against the war. (Hey, our first troll. We hit a milestone today!) Then the bus home last night breaks down at the BART station, causing me to miss my connection. I got home about 12:30 a.m. instead of the usual midnight. Then the water problem today, then Lou trying to blame ME for it. (Sheesh!)
Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you. :-p
I've decided it must officially be "beat up on Victoria week." First I get the angry idiot gung ho for the war on Darce's board on Delphi, then I get blasted by a guy on EW who's against the war. (Hey, our first troll. We hit a milestone today!) Then the bus home last night breaks down at the BART station, causing me to miss my connection. I got home about 12:30 a.m. instead of the usual midnight. Then the water problem today, then Lou trying to blame ME for it. (Sheesh!)
Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you. :-p
They Turned Off Our Water!
I'm in shock. EBMUD came out today and turned off our water for non-payment! How do I get into situations like this? I'm just a subletter here; how come this idiot of an owner can't make the water payments? Where's the money? I'm upset about this, and both he and his dog are gone (probably at the dog park) so there is no water and no answers. Grrr... Some people's children! How are we supposed to live without water, and for how long?!?
My first thought was the cats, so I filled their water bowl. Then I used the toilet one last time. I'll take my toothbrush to work with me.
This totally sucks.
My first thought was the cats, so I filled their water bowl. Then I used the toilet one last time. I'll take my toothbrush to work with me.
This totally sucks.
Monday, March 24, 2003
Living Beyond My Means
Victoria is living beyond her means. I've really screwed things up.
I found not one, not two, not three, but FIVE letters from my bank in my mailbox today. All were overdraft charges, two had two charges each. That's what...? About SEVEN charges? At $21 apiece. That's $148!
I called my bank and found I didn't even have enough to pay the rent. Ok, I thought. I'll just transfer some money from savings and deposit my state and federal refund checks - $530 all told. Surely that will get me through the next two weeks and pay my rent.
WRONG. After paying a couple of bills, entering everything in my checkbook and running the numbers, I STILL don't have the rent money, much less food and everything else. Looks like I'll be making another trip into the City to transfer more money just so I can get by this month. :(
I found not one, not two, not three, but FIVE letters from my bank in my mailbox today. All were overdraft charges, two had two charges each. That's what...? About SEVEN charges? At $21 apiece. That's $148!
I called my bank and found I didn't even have enough to pay the rent. Ok, I thought. I'll just transfer some money from savings and deposit my state and federal refund checks - $530 all told. Surely that will get me through the next two weeks and pay my rent.
WRONG. After paying a couple of bills, entering everything in my checkbook and running the numbers, I STILL don't have the rent money, much less food and everything else. Looks like I'll be making another trip into the City to transfer more money just so I can get by this month. :(
Wednesday, March 19, 2003
Rumors of War
I still feel strange about this war - not gung ho for or against. *shrug* And I have one person ranting on IM to me about how Bush has committed war crimes, and another talking to me about Makani and her private forum and how she isn't at all like Obsidian and Otep. I'm getting it from both sides I guess.
The news is saying that Hussein was the target of this early beginning to the war. Personally, I doubt we'll get him. I think, like Osama bin Laden, he'll escape. Let's all pray for a quick end to the war and for protection of coalition troops.
No changes really on my Web sites except that I changed all main pages on all my sites so that the text scrolls over the background. I think it looks real nice. I also put some new pix up on Xena's site. Here Abby plays with a stuffed mouse that I put fresh catnip leaves inside. And, old pictures from before my move, Xena and Abby getting friendly with each other. (The top picture was taken earlier. Scroll down to the bottom three pics.)
The news is saying that Hussein was the target of this early beginning to the war. Personally, I doubt we'll get him. I think, like Osama bin Laden, he'll escape. Let's all pray for a quick end to the war and for protection of coalition troops.
No changes really on my Web sites except that I changed all main pages on all my sites so that the text scrolls over the background. I think it looks real nice. I also put some new pix up on Xena's site. Here Abby plays with a stuffed mouse that I put fresh catnip leaves inside. And, old pictures from before my move, Xena and Abby getting friendly with each other. (The top picture was taken earlier. Scroll down to the bottom three pics.)
Sunday, March 16, 2003
Running Into My Past
Occationally, mostly during the Easter season, I like to visit an Episcopal church near where I live. The past year or so when I've dropped by, a lady I remember from the Pagan community has been there. We've never really talked. Well, today we finally were able to chat for a few minutes, and I have to say, I feel conflicted after our talk, not sure whether to celebrate or weep in sadness.
Her name is Dale, and she comes with her husband Brian. She was dating another man the last time we chatted, about 7 years ago, or more. She said they have been coming to the church for about a year. I asked if she was Christian or Christo-Pagan or what. She said she was Christo-Pagan. Mostly Christian, but with some Pagan parts still there. She said God has many faces.
And therein lies my conflict. Here's a woman, attending a church every week with an evangelical litergy, but a liberal priest and congregation. She believes in women pastors and other things that the Episcopal church now teaches. Additionally, she claims to still have some Pagan beliefs, though I didn't have a chance to ask for clarification. Perhaps another time.
I asked her why she was coming to church (i.e. why is she not practicing Paganism anymore), and she said that Paganism was lacking in redemption and forgiveness (I think she actually used those exact two words!). I thought that was very insightful. Paganism denies many things even are sins, and those things that are wrong - well, there's karma, but no forgiveness. Forgiveness must be an attractive option to anyone who knows how bad they've messed up. I am humbled when I consider the depth of my sin, and therefore, the depth of Jesus' forgiveness.
I left church today feeling stronger than ever how important it is to reach out to Witches and other Pagans and bring them into a relationship with Christ.
Her name is Dale, and she comes with her husband Brian. She was dating another man the last time we chatted, about 7 years ago, or more. She said they have been coming to the church for about a year. I asked if she was Christian or Christo-Pagan or what. She said she was Christo-Pagan. Mostly Christian, but with some Pagan parts still there. She said God has many faces.
And therein lies my conflict. Here's a woman, attending a church every week with an evangelical litergy, but a liberal priest and congregation. She believes in women pastors and other things that the Episcopal church now teaches. Additionally, she claims to still have some Pagan beliefs, though I didn't have a chance to ask for clarification. Perhaps another time.
I asked her why she was coming to church (i.e. why is she not practicing Paganism anymore), and she said that Paganism was lacking in redemption and forgiveness (I think she actually used those exact two words!). I thought that was very insightful. Paganism denies many things even are sins, and those things that are wrong - well, there's karma, but no forgiveness. Forgiveness must be an attractive option to anyone who knows how bad they've messed up. I am humbled when I consider the depth of my sin, and therefore, the depth of Jesus' forgiveness.
I left church today feeling stronger than ever how important it is to reach out to Witches and other Pagans and bring them into a relationship with Christ.
Thinking about the Saints
A friend gave me a link to a Web page about St. Teresa. It includes a little gem about my favorite quote from her, one I've used often when feeling down: "Lord, if this is how you treat Your friends, no wonder You have so few."
Here's the relevant paragraph:
Sometimes, however, she couldn't avoid complaining to her closest Friend about the hostility and gossip that surrounded her. When Jesus told her, "Teresa, that's how I treat my friends" Teresa responded, "No wonder you have so few friends." But since Christ has so few friends, she felt they should be good ones. And that's why she decided to reform her Carmelite order.
I also managed to find a St. Victoria on the site! :) Too bad I was named after the former Queen of England and not the saint.
Here's the relevant paragraph:
Sometimes, however, she couldn't avoid complaining to her closest Friend about the hostility and gossip that surrounded her. When Jesus told her, "Teresa, that's how I treat my friends" Teresa responded, "No wonder you have so few friends." But since Christ has so few friends, she felt they should be good ones. And that's why she decided to reform her Carmelite order.
I also managed to find a St. Victoria on the site! :) Too bad I was named after the former Queen of England and not the saint.
Saturday, March 15, 2003
Web page updates
I updated Xena's page with some pics of her and Abby. The pics are old - from the end of February before my move - but I finally got them uploaded tonight.
Yesterday I updated most of my Web sites so that the text now scrolls independently of the background. I hope you enjoy the new look. My personal site and my Sabbath pages are not yet done.
Yesterday I updated most of my Web sites so that the text now scrolls independently of the background. I hope you enjoy the new look. My personal site and my Sabbath pages are not yet done.
Wednesday, March 12, 2003
A Very Bad Day
Today is A Very Bad Day. Too much to do and too little time.
* Return toaster oven to Sears.
* Pick up tape from Christian bookstore and look for book on how the New Testament books were chosen for inclusion in the Bible.
* Copy church bulletins. Run out of money after hitting "20" copies twice instead of once.
* Stop at old residence and leave note for neighbors asking them to call if they find Abby cat, who disappeared last night from the new residence.
* Arrive at work 20 minutes late and scarf down first meal of the day while getting constant IM intrusions.
* Try to write and code my blog while getting constant IMs.
In short, I'm currently a short-tempered b*tch. Days like today I wish I could stay in bed all day with the covers pulled over my head. I hate and resent the world and want to hide from it.
* Return toaster oven to Sears.
* Pick up tape from Christian bookstore and look for book on how the New Testament books were chosen for inclusion in the Bible.
* Copy church bulletins. Run out of money after hitting "20" copies twice instead of once.
* Stop at old residence and leave note for neighbors asking them to call if they find Abby cat, who disappeared last night from the new residence.
* Arrive at work 20 minutes late and scarf down first meal of the day while getting constant IM intrusions.
* Try to write and code my blog while getting constant IMs.
In short, I'm currently a short-tempered b*tch. Days like today I wish I could stay in bed all day with the covers pulled over my head. I hate and resent the world and want to hide from it.
Tuesday, March 11, 2003
Welcome to Victoria's Blog
This is my first attempt at a blog, so bear with me.
I probably won't be updating it all that often. Real life and other
online responsibilities call. As it is, this entry won't be posted for a few
days as starting a site and uploading leaves one seeing errors galore and
I simply don't have the time today to work out the kinks.
Purpose of This Blog
Basically, I'm going to use this as a Blog to keep anyone who cares abreast on major changes on all my Web sites. I have several, and many are not linked together. For example, my personal site is not linked to any Sabbath sites, in an effort to keep it nondenominational.
Here's a list of all my sites. All links will open a new browser
window.
As For Me and My House..., My Personal Site Victoria's Sabbath Pages, Common Objections To the Sabbath and My Answers Sabbath Keepers' Meeting House, my Delphi forum Bay Area Seventh Day Baptist Church, My Church's Web Site Xena's Web Site, My Cat's Site
All these sites to run and now I'm starting a blog?!?
I also hope to use this as a sort of online diary. I don't keep a journal
anymore, but perhaps this will give me a reason to start doing that again.
I probably won't be updating it all that often. Real life and other
online responsibilities call. As it is, this entry won't be posted for a few
days as starting a site and uploading leaves one seeing errors galore and
I simply don't have the time today to work out the kinks.
Purpose of This Blog
Basically, I'm going to use this as a Blog to keep anyone who cares abreast on major changes on all my Web sites. I have several, and many are not linked together. For example, my personal site is not linked to any Sabbath sites, in an effort to keep it nondenominational.
Here's a list of all my sites. All links will open a new browser
window.
All these sites to run and now I'm starting a blog?!?
I also hope to use this as a sort of online diary. I don't keep a journal
anymore, but perhaps this will give me a reason to start doing that again.
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