Thursday, January 20, 2005

My trigger points - Just venting

As many of you know, I've been a mod at the Depression forum for God only knows how long now. Sometimes I pop into the chat room and participate there. If a topic becomes a trigger for someone, they will often ask that the topic be changed, and/or they will leave the room. And that's fine with everybody - we all have those things that will set us off. Unless it's an un-PC view. Then it's not okay.

Monday night (and again on Wednesday) the topic of homosexuality came up. We have two chatters, one male and one female, who are gay and are going through breakups with their partners right now. Same sex relationships are a trigger for me, so I basically said I couldn't handle the topic, and I left the room.

At least one of the people took my action (leaving the room) as a personal affront to his sexual orientation, and tattled on me. Nancy (the site guide) e-mailed me and asked for my side. I told her there should be a log of the entire chat, and she should check that to see who is telling the truth. *sigh*

Wednesday the gay guy was baiting me; one mod even PMed me and asked me why he was baiting me. He was sarcastic and seemed to think that my non-acceptance of his lifestyle is a non-acceptance of HIM personally, as if his lifestyle defines his very person. Nellie (a gay lady, but also one I count as a friend in the room) freaked out and said something about me believing she'd go to hell (I never said a word about it! - talk about jumping to conclusions) and left the room. She came back later and apologized to me.

Through all this I have been commited to being as professional as I can be and refrained from stating my personal views beyond, "I'm not getting into it because no one here would what to hear it." I know I live in a world where believing as I do puts me in a minority. So I don't speak out, I don't go off. I simply say, "This is a trigger for me, so I'll be leaving." My departure is to protect everyone, both myself and everyone else in the room (if I stay, I'm going to go off and that would be wrong).

It's amazing how doing the right thing (removing myself from the situation) gets me in trouble! [rolls eyes]

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