I finally got tired on the praise music tapes I have, and pulled out an old Wayne Watson tape. The album is called The Way Home, and the song that struck me is "Growing." I always knew part of the song was about following God even when you can't feel Him in your life, but Tuesday night it hit me that the entire song is about that. I won't print all the lyrics here - copyright issues - but it's a good song.
The song reminded me of an old Touched By An Angel episode called "The Netherlands" where Monica doubts God and walks away. During that time, she has no angelic powers, and has to make a choice when God is nowhere to be seen, but Satan was very loud and visible, and his words were oh so sweet. I thought back to January and the beginning of February this year. I couldn't sense God anywhere, but I could hear HER quite easily, and her words were tempting.
I think all Christians go through times like that. Dry times when, as the "Growing" song says, "There's no comfort in praying, not a moment's pleasure in straying." C.S. Lewis also touches on the subject in his novel The Screwtape Letters.
Now is not one of those times. Any distance from God at the moment is my own fault for not making time for my relationship with Him. Something to work on. But the beginning of this year was one of those times when I couldn't sense God's presence. It was like He wasn't there. The verse that comes to mind is 2 Chronicles 32:31, about God leaving us to test us.
Ok, it's way past bedtime. Nighty!