Monday, August 23, 2004

Thank God for My Church

Long weekend. Due to K's e-mail to me last week about how she intends to follow everything I say online even though I asked her not to, Brian felt that I should talk to my pastor. I wasn't planning on it this past Saturday, so I didn't have the e-mail to show him, and he wasn't terribly interested in seeing it after the fact. We talked anyway.

He agreed with Brian on one point. People shouldn't feel broken over other peoples' sin, only their own.

I outlined my fears about messing up and her finding out and contacting him. He suggested that I tell him first if I do, rather than him hearing it from her. Strangely enough, that made me feel better. Not that I would (or wouldn't) tell him, but to know that if I am truly sorry that I won't be judged and tossed out - very comforting.

I realized that since I was booted and Pastor Steve was told every gory detail, I have been afraid that my church would treat me the same as they did. It appears now that I may have been wrong. I need my church solidy on my side through all this because of the temptation of going back to what got me in trouble to begin with.

Pastor said that he prays for me, that this particular thing had slipped, but said he would start praying about it for me again. What did I do to deserve such a supportive church and pastor? [sniff]

Due to my chat with Pastor Steve, I started eating lunch late, and with a memorial service that afternoon, they kicked us off the table so they could get set up, so I had to finish eating in another room with the plate on my lap.

The memorial service started around 2:30 and lasted way too long for my liking. Bea Hibbard was much beloved, and people flew in from as far as Maryland. Her late husband was one of the first pastors of the church. Though I never met her, I felt like I knew a bit about her when the service was over.

Sunday City Church met at Central SDA. I always go when the service is there, so I dragged myself in. They had a guest speaker, and the entire pastoral staff was gone, Pastor Harrell on sabbatical still, and everyone else at a community group training retreat of some sort. The guest people used Psalm 73 and talked about "Crisis and Renewal." Story of my life this year, that sermon was. And my devotional Sunday night (James 3:1-12) challenged me to stop talking (typing) bad things about those that hurt me, moreover, to forgive said people (Eph. 4:32), and to "get rid of all bitterness, rage, and anger" (Eph. 4:31). (Okay, it was Friday's lesson, but I missed it then and it looked good so I read it Sunday.)

Finished all the devotionals I had to write Sunday night. Now just go through to see how it reads and edit a bit, then turn it in by September 1. :) Whammo...$150.

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