Tuesday, July 26, 2005

She can't die...

She just can't. I'm not ready to deal with this. My Dad is supposed to go first, but now my friend has cancer and the most serious depressive episode ever and even she doesn't think she will make it.

I can't deal with this, God, I just can't. I've never grown so close to someone who didn't know you and I am afraid for her, and for how I will deal with knowing. Oh, Father, why? [weeps]


Lira said...

Man of sorrows, acquainted with grief, I ask you to hold Victoria fast in Your embrace.

You have told us that death is not the end of life, that beyond the grave is the resurrection, yet You wept at the side of a grave. You understand our grief. Strengthen this mourner.

I pray, too, for this beloved friend, she who is in pain. You knew pain so deep and intense that you thought the heavenly Father Himself had forgotten you. Be the light for the one who is in the valley of the shadow. Whether she knows you, Lord, or whether she does not, You know her. And You love her. Make Your tender mercies known to her during this time. Heal, Lord, that which most requires healing, even if it is not the weary body of Victoria's friend. Bring the strength of Your hope to this friendship. Bring Your peace.

Our Lord and our God, in Christ Jesus you fell, for love, into the dark earth and You died. Give us grace to await the full understanding of Your will. Draw our gaze to You and Your purposes. Bless Victoria with the certainty that all answers lie within the scope of Your love.


Newbirth said...

You wouldn't happen to be Lira from the old ExWitch forum, would you?

Lira said...


Newbirth said...

Oh wow hi! Do you still go there? How are you?

Lira said...

Somehow, I ended up as a mod in all the prayer folders. So, yes. Still there.

Doing well. Hot. Busy. Etcetera.

Are you feeling better today?

Newbirth said...

I'll get by, the people at CH Refugee can help me with the Christian side of things and talk some sense into me. ;)

It's still hard to get through the Wiccan holidays as I'm locked out at EW and know no other ex-Witches. So every six months at Beltane and Halloween I whine to the people at CH Refugee, but no one there truly understands what I'm going through. The C&C Listserve (which I have to share with Kathi and Mark) is a poor substitute. And Cern's "Moot" forum has never felt right, like I personally shouldn't be there. I'm still bitter. I know I have to forgive them and I pray that someday I'll be able to.

Lira said...


I understand!

If you want, I'm online a lot these days. Name a venue for chat or discussion, and I can try to get there.

Anonymous said...

If the people at EW treated you like they did, Victoria, were they ever really your friends to begin with?

erudit said...

*sending virtual hug*


Newbirth said...

Dear Annonymous,

It's a long story and one I can't go into, but in short they did the best they were capeable of. They thought they were being a friend.

And that's all I can say.

Newbirth said...


I'm okay right now. It's mostly just Beltane and Halloween that the Wiccan stuff comes up. For the normal day to day stuff CHR is a great place, and my church helps a little bit.

And my kitties. Never underestimate the power of cats. :)

I learned an important lesson from EW - *never EVER* co-mod a board. From now on I will either OWN a board, or be a regular member. When Jeanne asked me to co-mod her weight loss forum a few weeks ago I turned her down flat.

Lira said...

A hard lesson, then.

If you ever need some bi-annual support, shoot an email my way. My contact info is in my Blogger profile.

God bless, hon. And hugs!

Newbirth said...

What happened to EW? The forum is closed?