Suffering

Went to City Church today and would you believe what the sermon topic was - suffering! Geez. Like I needed that clue-by-four! ;)

I sat at the back of the church to hide and be alone. I didn't want to sit with anyone I knew. And I cried a bit during the service. My counselor says it's normal to cry where you feel safe, and I know I am safe with God. I can express my emotions to Him without the fear of being slapped down.

The sermon was on Romans 8 (great chapter!), but Pastor Harrell did point out one interesting thing elsewhere...Psalm 44. Psalm 44 is not about people who have done wrong and are being punished by God; it's about people who have kept His laws, lived their lives righteously - all that - and yet are suffering hardship anyway. Wow.
That set me off just reading the psalms in general - a good read if you are depressed. I went to Carrows and read the psalms and ate my lunch, and felt a bit better afterward.

God is here. I just need to cling to Him somehow.

As I walked from the church to the bus stop, I talked to God and told Him that I knew Romans 8:28 ("God works all things for good") is true, but... And I stopped myself. It was like God was saying to me, "No buts." It either is true or isn't. It's black and white, like being preganant - you either are or aren't; you can't be a little pregnant.

Like Pastor Harrell said, if God can redeem the suffering of Christ to bring salvation to all who believe, He can and will surely redeem my suffering.