Although the fig tree shall not blossom, neither shall fruit be in the vines; the labour of the olive shall fail, and the fields shall yield no meat; the flock shall be cut off from the fold, and there shall be no herd in the stalls:
Yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will joy in the God of my salvation.
--Habakkuk 3:17-18
It's been a hell of a year, but last night as I lay in bed, still not feeling Him around me, I resolved yet again to follow no matter what. I don't know where He is, why He's so quiet, or why He's letting all this happen to me.
So He calls me to walk by faith, to move forward even when I can't sense Him. I think faith in the darkness is the faith that pleases Him most. Faith in the light is easy. It is in the darkness that it is put to the test. C.S. Lewis touches on this in The Screwtape Letters.
I have experiences I can build on. I can have faith because I've walked with Him long enough to know that "this too shall pass." There will again be highs on the mountain, praising in greatfulness as the trials and troubles fade into insignificance in His presence.
I love You, Father. I have come too far in the last eight years, seen too much, to ever go back. I will follow You even if I can't feel You. I know You are there, I know You see me, and I know You are involved, even if I can't see it. I will follow the path laid before me.
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