I was doing really well. I was. I decided to go to church today if for no other reason than it was Halloween and that would be a Good Place To Be on Halloween. So I got up at 7:30 this morning (yes, that's how early I have to get up to attend the LATE service!) Cooked breakfast and got dressed and all, and as the morning wore on I became more and more acutely aware of what today is. I only freaked out a little, but it made me sad. And I sat there in church in a not very good mood.
However, I'm very glad I went. The music was good. The sermon was on children and families (Genesis 1) and had no relevance to me, but no biggie. That happens sometimes.
My friend Janice, who I haven't seen in months, showed up and I left my spot next to Carol to sit with her. Janice is in her 40s or 50s and also single. We first met at my old church where we both used to attend. We left independent of each other and somehow both of us ended up occasionally attending City Church. Anyway, it was good to see her and we chatted after the service.
Communion was the most meaningful not because of what it symbolized in itself, but because it symbolizes my belonging to Him on a day that once meant anything BUT Him. I can't put it into words, but it was very meaningful to be able to take communion on Halloween. Like poking a stick into the eye of the goddess. She nearly got me back this year, but He still won. :)
After church I was able to smile. I'm still not thrilled that today is today, but tomorrow it'll be over and perhaps I can get on with life again. For now, I'll do my best not to freak out, and try to remember that I belong to Him now and He loves me no matter what, died for me, will guide me for the rest of my life.
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