Thursday, December 09, 2004

The Good Side of Bad Side Effects

This has been on my mind lately, and today I was finally able to put the whole thing into words to a co-worker. So it is time to share my thoughts here.

I started Zoloft in the summer of 2001 when I was 29 and weighed about 170 pounds - a little overweight but as long as I didn't gain I was okay with that. The Zoloft was a true miracle drug. The side effect of insomnia was gone in less than a week, and within 2 weeks I felt my depression lifting. What a relief! Living in my own head had been he11!

Unfortunetly, it had the fun (NOT!) side effect of weight gain. In two years I put on about 40 pounds without even trying. When I turned 30 I knew I had to clean up my diet and eat better, but I didn't have the motivation to make the changes. So instead of getting healthy and making positive changes, I got fat and lazy. I wasn't stuffing myself; I ate when I was hungry and what I craved, and stopped when I was full. The weight piled on. But I figured being un-depressed and fat was better than being depressed at any weight.

It was February of this year when I decided enough was enough. I was 208 pounds, and even on my frame at my height, I couldn't hide that I was quite overweight.

But I hid it well enough that no one would have considered me obese, even though the height/weight charts indicated that. And my body fat was at 37.8% - off the charts!

I signed up at Curves, resolved to eat better and excercise 3 days a week, and I did. I lost a disappointing 3.8 pounds that first month, and that after working my butt off! I decided I needed to make big changes to my diet.

I started Atkins the end of March. In the first month I lost 9.5 pounds, in the second months 8 pounds, and then the weight loss slowed, but continued.

As of today I am 166 - 4 pounds below my pre-Zoloft weight - and am still losing ever so slowly. I am in shape and can run 2.5 miles before having to slow down to a walk. I recently left Curves and joined 24 Hour Fitness, and still work out 3 times a week. My body fat has dropped about 9% to about 28.7% - still high but now ON the charts and moving in the right direction. I now have confidence in my ability to lose weight and change my life. It's not a dream for those who have the willpower - it's the reality of MY life and MY abilities!

All in all, my life is better. The weight gain the Zoloft caused has turned out to be positive because it motivated me to make the serious life changes I needed to. Without it I'd still be at 170 pounds with no interest in losing weight, and out of shape. It is only the bad side effect of this med that has helped me get where I am today, and so, as strange as it sounds, I am thankful for the weight gain.

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