Ok, Christmas Eve sucked and here's why

[Later edit: Names have been removed to protect the innocent (and not so innocent) and replaced by first initial only.]

(Originally posted to the private Yahoo forum for Depression forum mods.) This was my Christmas.

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Christmas Eve sucked and here's why...

Thankfully Christmas Day was much better, and now I am back from my little overnighter and back at work.

Anyway, as a lot of you know, "cb" has been theatening to kill himself, even going so far as to say how and when - pills, Christmas Eve at midnight.

I logged in from home, which made talking h*ll because of the slow connection and the seeming incompatiblity of the darn thing with my Mac. I kept getting locked up and having to exit and enter again.

C. (his real name) was there, still talking about killing himself that night. P. came in at some point and we chatted via whisper. She said she had C's address and would I like it. I wrote it down and she left. Bless P's little heart - that action likely saved C's life!

I used Google to find the phone number to C's local police department. EPG came on and we talked and I gave him C's address and the police number. He called the police around 10 pm NY time (where C. lives). The cops went out, but C. told them to leave; he was with someone and would be fine. (A lie!)

L. came on about 10:30 or 11 Eastern time and she and I talked about C. via AIM. At one point C. got angry about EPG calling the cops and left, but came back about 11:30 Eastern. About 12:30 he said he had taken a bunch of Klonopin and Wellbutrin. He told us not to call the cops (a clear cry for help!). L. said the med combo was potentially fatal. I called his local police and they said they would send someone out.

C. said very little for the next 15 minutes. Everybody was pleading with him to talk. At that point his nick logged off and that's the last I've heard. I assume the police arrived and maybe gave him some time to gather his stuff (and log off). The police neglected to get my phone number when I called so there was no call back.

I have never been so scared. I have never had to call anyone because of someone trying to commit suicide. Having the power of life and death in my hands is an awesome resposibility. I'm pissed at C., too. He was serious, but he knew this would wreck people's holiday and that makes me angry. In fact, the fear of calling paralized me and I was going to ask L. to call. What spurred me to make the call was my anger at C.

After that I took a Benedryl, opened some presents, and went to bed.

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As you can see, a very exciting Christmas here. :-p