I tried to post a piece on trust that I wrote last night, but I had a bad feeling (from God?) that I shouldn't. So eventually I took it down after it had been up only a very short time. What I wrote wasn't any worse than any of the other entries on this site, so I didn't understand. The only answer I can come up with is that I cannot let go and be truly free as long as K continues to haunt my thoughts and the pages of this blog. I think God is telling me to stop writing about her.
So what can I say on trust? Just that I have learned through this situation that when people show trust in me, I respond in the way God would want. My pastor showed complete trust in me and in the power of God to change me. He knew the whole truth - from K's POV - and trusted me anyway. When someone shows that they trust me to do better, and trust God to work in me, when someone offers to pray for me in a way that is totally humble...well, that's how I change, because I don't want to disappoint this person who has set themselves up for hurt if I fail. He didn't threaten me with punative action; he trusted me, as one Christian to another.
If he hadn't been told every detail, I would have missed out on a lot. I never would have seen Christ in action through my pastor, telling me "Go and sin no more." I never would have learned what I best respond to. I might have even walked away from my faith, then fallen even further and given myself to the sin. I never would have seen Romans 8:28 in such technicolor. I never would have seen the right way to handle this sort of thing. In short, this situation taught me a lot about God, other people, and myself.
And now, I suppose I should find other things to talk about. There is certainly enough in the news and/or my personal life. There will be no shortage of topics.
Oh...I'm going to name this blog Stumbling Toward Bethlehem, after the song played at the end of last Friday's Joan of Arcadia.
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