You REALLY Know You're A Low Carber If ...
1. The fruit drawer in your refrigerator is now full of cheese. In fact, six kinds of cheese, and in every form conceivable.
2. Your fridge’s meat drawer overfloweth.
3. You can actually taste the sweetness in tomato sauce.
4. You smirk and roll your eyes every time you hear or see the phrase, "heart healthy."
5. You shudder when you read "may cause a laxative effect" on a label, remembering the last time...
6. You have a half-empty bag of sugar in your pantry that’s older than your youngest child.
7. You’ve ever thought, "calories, schmalories."
8. You could probably hold your own in an argument with a doctor, nurse or nutritionist.
9. You’ve ever wanted to beat up a doctor, nurse or nutritionist.
10. You know how to pronounce "stevia."
11. You've ever corrected people by saying, "It was a heart infarction, not a heart attack, stupid!"
12. Your patron saint is Elsie the Cow.
13. You feel guilty offering your guests sugar packets with their coffee, while they’re feeling guilty for using the half-and-half.
14. You would never eat anything labeled "fat free."
15. You have six different kinds of sweetener in your pantry.
16. You’ve ever looked for non-hydrogenated lard at the grocery store.
17. You went into shock when you found out the truth about the hidden carbs in your beloved low-carb protein and chocolate bars.
18. You have containers of isolated soy protein, soya powder, soy flour, soy grits, TVP, and four differently-flavored soy shake mixes strewn all over your kitchen, closets and garage. And then there’s all those different whey powders hanging around, too…
19. You post regularly on at least five different low-carb bulletin boards.
20. You’ve added low-carbing to your list of things to never discuss with people.
21. You’ve wondered if you could retire early by selling your last box of Carbolite 0-Carb Sweetener on e-Bay.
22. TV evangelists mimic your techniques used in converting friends from low-fat to low-carb.
23. You meet someone with the last name of Atkins and wonder which of the good doctor’s relatives they are.
24. You hold your head up high when buying a deep fat fryer.
25. You believe all roads lead to Atkins.
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