Weight this morning after yesterday's binge: 134
This is a lower weight than I really am because I woke up dehydrated. It was unbearably hot and I slept on top of the covers last night, sweating.
Why do I binge? Sometimes I don't know myself. I just know that I have two ways of dealing with stress - drinking alcohol and eating crap. Why do I do destructive things to myself?
Normally I can binge and get right back on plan, but last night I went to sleep craving chow mien noodles. The little restaurant in the laundromat has them. I had that and macaroni and cheese when I washed my clothes today. I also had a cinnamon twist donut. I was craving that, too. And that was just breakfast. :-p
I ate lots more on my way to work and after I got to work. I feel like a fat cow today and the stress is joined by self loathing. I don't think I will weigh in this Sunday. Hopefully I can pull myself together and get back on plan tomorrow. :-p I need to get back on plan because the sugar am eating will cause me to break out.
The only exercise I got was about an hour of walking. I would have walked more but I was an hour late to work as it was.
I hate myself, I hate my life, I hate everything.
Technorati tagged: diet, low fat, weight loss, health, exercise, obesity, overweight, fitness
2 comments:
Hey Victoria,
It is dissappointing to let yourself down, but there is not much worth hating yourself over. I know that you know this, but I expect its nice to hear every once in a while.
Hope the binge bugs leave you be!
Sis,
*I* don't hate you. I think you're pretty wonderful. Brad must think so too, since he won't leave you alone :).
Two websites --- opposites of the same coin -- may be useful.
http://www.givesmehope.com/
http://www.fmylife.com/
Hmm ... how's the thyroid meds going? My grandmother had some really interesting moods when her thyroid went kaput. I have to wonder how much of what you're feeling is biology.
Respectfully,
Brian P.
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