Thinspiration

Calories eaten yesterday: 684 (I'm never hungry after I stuff myself the previous day)
Fat: 14g (18%)
Carbs: 56g (33%)
Protein: 84g (49%)
Weight this morning: 135
Calories burned in exercise today: 395

I've got to cut calories. Food rules and ruins my life. I skipped my cottage cheese before my workout and just had my protein shake. I had another shake after as usual. No protein after a workout means precious muscle mass loss. I want to be thin, but certainly not a stick.

My workout was one hour of weight training (always my favorite), followed by 30 minutes on a stationary bike. I met my monthly step goal today quite easily so I figured I could do the bike. It doesn't count steps, but if I don't need the steps then it's okay. :) I walked to work from BART as usual for the extra calorie burn and bus fare savings.

I know something is wrong with my relationship with food. I know I binge and that means an unhealthy relationship with food. I've been looking up some "thinspiration" pics on the Web and Flickr. I printed out a few to help me stay on track. I have really let my eating and stomach get the best of me. This is a very bad thing when your metabolism is as low as mine. I need to eat in accordance with my metabolism and "eat to live" rather than "live to eat." I need to embrace the hunger and cravings my anti-depressant gives me and remind myself that it is not true hunger, just a fake hunger induced by the med.

There's not much more to say, or rather, there's a lot to say but I don't know how to express it. My thoughts are a jumble and if I say the wrong thing people would get worried and jump all over me. So I think I need to stay quiet until I can sort it all out.

Technorati tagged: diet, low fat, weight loss, health, exercise, obesity, overweight, fitness