Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Finally got my taxes done

Calories eaten yesterday: 1044
Fat: 18g (16%)
Carbs: 74g (29%)
Protein: 139g (54%)
Calories burned in exercise today: 29

Got my taxes done today. I went to H&R Block and say the lady I've seen the past few years. I got money back from both state and federal - a very small amount and both together equaled less than the tax prep fees. I made out a new federal W-4 to have an extra $10 taken out of each paycheck.

I am a stressball. I took 0.5mg of Xanax before my appointment and another 0.5 after.I feel like I'm going to binge, but in the meantime I have consumed a McChicken sandwich (no mayo) and a 1/4 pound cheeseburger from next door (no mayo and no fries). That's all comfort food due to stress. Now I want a peanut butter sandwich. This is in addition to my regular food.

I know I need to do a little bit of starving - not unhealthy anorexic starving for days on end; just enough to get my weight down. I need to learn to "embrace the hunger" as a friend instead of an enemy. Is it such a sin to want a flat stomach?

I'm bloated from all the food today and look like the Pillsbury Dough Girl again - but I'm still wanting to eat! Hunger doesn't even enter the equation.

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3 comments:

Janey said...

Please don't take this the wrong way, but in every single photo I've seen of you you look FANTASTIC. Very, very lean and fit looking. And your Bmi is very healthy too. You are very hard on yourself. I would love to look like you. Couldn't you possibly enjoy the beautiful body that you have and many would envy instead of always striving for something else. Maybe you have some body dysmorphia issues as you don't seem to see what the rest of us do. Really don't want to sound harsh, I love reading your Blog.
Take care Victoria. x

Arthur_of_Old said...

Glad you mention it Janey, I know she is doing great and needs to appreciate her accomplishment. She is maintaining well and says that she has to be so to stay in low range.

Brad

Carol Bardelli said...

I know where Victoria is coming from. I say I need to lose belly fat and my husband says I look great. It's no sin to want to be fitter and have a flat stomach. After all, belly fat is dangerous to health.

Hang in there, Victoria. You'll get to your goals. And do appreciate your successes too. You've come a long way and look fit. Regards, Carol