From One Hell To Another

Calories burned in exercise today: 175

My time off was a long, hard, and horrible. I never want to go through that again, but know I will have to.

Ok, my time off:

Last Thursday I flew to Seattle. My sister April picked me up and the airport. We picked up Dad from the adult care home and went back to April's house. I took my suitcases upstairs while April reheated dinner. After dinner we took Dad back to the home.

Friday we spent all day driving from Seattle to Grants Pass in southern Oregon. During the trip April said, "You are completely useless to me" simply because I can't drive. Um...who took care of Marina (April's baby) during the trip? Who fed her and watched her at the baby store while you shopped and stood in line? You've made the same trip without me and you still say I'm "useless"?

Saturday we spent all day working in Sunny Valley at my Dad's house (mostly throwing out food or taking it to the food bank) and the storage space in Merlin where Mom put her storage stuff when her and I moved to California 24 years ago.

Saturday night everyone took showers, went for a swim, and went out to dinner. I showed Brad around Sunny Valley and Wolf Creek, took a shower, and had dinner with Brad in his hotel room - PB&J, beef jerky, granola bars, and wine.

Sunday we all packed up and headed home. Dad said he would sell the van to Brad for $4000 (he wouldn't budge on that price), but he threw in a one year warranty on the engine and Brad said okay. April had a few things to do at Dad's house, but told Brad and I to go ahead and leave since the house was in the opposite direction from where we were. Brad and I drove back to California.

Monday Brad and I were both off. He left early to do stuff on the car (getting it cleaned, etc.). I was sick all day. I threw up twice that morning. I think it was a combination of too many days of stress, too much alcohol (to help deal with the stress), and too many Alli pills to deal with my horrible diet while I was away. I crawled out of bed only once to buy some groceries and stayed in bed other than that.

Tuesday was a binge day for me - eating whatever I wanted in whatever amounts I wanted. In the evening Brad and I went to Applebee's for dinner but I didn't feel like drinking much. I had a half glass of wine (couldn't finish it) and a Mochatini and that was it.

Today I am back at work. I slept in again today, getting disturbed three times by phone calls (once on my phone and twice on Brad's phone that he left my apartment). Tomorrow is laundry.

I ate horrible during the time I was gone and am just getting back on track today. The last time I was off plan this long I gained 10 pounds. I'm not getting on the scale for a while and am doing a 24 hour fast today.

Yesterday April e-mailed me that Dad and her will no longer be giving me the $200 a month they have been. The reason they gave was the cost of Dad's care was too high and he couldn't afford it anymore. I know he can.

The real reason if they want me to not be able to afford to stay in California so that I will move to Seattle and help take care of Dad. They have both made it very clear to me that the "right" thing to do is quit my job, move to Seattle, somehow find work there (even my sister couldn't find work and she has a college degree, I don't), learn to drive, then then work full time and take care of Dad after work. They reason that I am single and therefore have no obligations.

At any rate, the deal with the money is an effort to make me move to Seattle. I've been in California since I was 14 (the end of 1986) and and was born here. I have no intention of moving; being blackmailed won't change that.

April also said that I spend too much money on fresh food and wants me to eat frozen food because she claims it's less expensive. What can you do with a sister who wants you to quit eating fresh food?

I'm most likely canceling my trip to Florida this November/December. Mom and Bill are paying my way but I can't afford the time off. They will call the travel agent tomorrow. I also will not be visiting Dad in Seattle (again, can't afford the time off). I will take off as few days as possible (1-2) when I return to Oregon next spring. Hopefully Mom will come and rent a dumpster so we can get rid of a bunch of stuff.

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