Tuesday, August 05, 2008

"S" is for Stress

Calories eaten yesterday: 1381
Fat: 29g (19%)
Carbs: 102g (29%)
Protein: 183g (52%)
Weight this morning: 135.8 (One week ago: 130.6)
Calories burned in exercise today: 81

Crud. I'm up a half pound from yesterday and almost 5 pounds over this time last week. I was raging hungry yesterday, but only gave in to a couple extra "naughty nibbles." I really do have a non-existent metabolism. :(

Still waiting on all the tests. *sigh* I can see that I won't be getting the results of anything before I see the doctor meaning I will have no clue what is going on since he just zips through everything and I like to research. I'm pissed about that and everything else.

My friend lost my jeans jacket and I had to buy another even though I'm broke and he can't pay me back until the "next paycheck" (which never comes). Oh...the jacket had an irreplaceable, hand-painted, one-of-only-a-few-made pin. I got it at General Conference a couple years ago. It can't be bought or in any other way replaced. I loved that pin and now that's gone, too, stolen, never to be seen again because Brad left it at the damn restaurant! :(

I have a birthday (sister), anniversary (sister and her husband), and wedding shower (my pastor's daughter) to also buy gifts (or gift cards) for with my non-existent money. I swear to God that anniversaries and showers (especially showers!) are just a time for people to say "We have money and you have none, but we want you to give us stuff." That pisses me off, too. All these people have far more than me. Right now I don't even have a way to buy basic groceries so I can eat next week!

Then there's the fun with my gym membership, the ongoing stress with my cats, and the list goes on.

Oh yeah...I forgot the mention the final stress. This would normally be the week of my vacation (my one week a year to get away). But due to lack of funds and the higher costs I don't get a vacation this year. So right now I'm stuck here at work under a ton of stress instead of at my church's General Conference where I want to be. :( :( :(

Oh...I missed my bus last night. The driver saw me and drove away anyway. I was running and yelling and two other people were waving and yelling. I know it won't do any good, but I called in the complaint today. I broke down in tears after missing the bus. It was 11:15 pm for crying out loud! I just can't take it! If I weren't on medication I would probably be suicidal about now.

Ran into the City today to get my mail. Helena's check was there, but not the one from the property. That's going to make money really tight. I needed the property check to cover my debts and give money to my sister (birthday), her husband (anniversary), and the two lovebirds for their wedding shower. The money from Helena (my security deposit) is already spoken for. I intend to withdraw the money and set it aside as soon as the check clears.

My only exercise was walking the 1.5 miles from the train station to work.

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5 comments:

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
size8jeans said...

I deleted your comment because I do not allow name-calling here, but I want to state that I have NEVER borrowed money from Brad for diet pills. That's just crazy. As for food, he bought me some groceries ONCE. I'm quite sure he didn't lose the jacket on purpose, but he still lost it. On purpose or not makes no difference.

Anonymous said...

I didn't call you any names. I'm sure my comment was deleted because the truth hurts sometimes.

size8jeans said...

No, it was deleted because you don't know the whole story, but think you do. Would you like Brad to post a comment and hear right from him?

Let's see...1) All the places we went last Friday. Perhaps you aren't aware that they were all in the same shopping center? We *walked* from one to another. When we go to the grocery store he buys groceries for himself too, so the trip is hardly just for me.

He picked me up last Friday because we were hoping to go for a long walk together the way we do most every Friday, then he comes him with me and spend the night.

2) Brad uses my stuff, too. It's a give and take. He uses my shower, shampoo, conditioner, soap, and eats my food when he spends the weekend. He has keys to my house and full access; I do not have keys to his house. Sometimes he drops over when I am not here just to see my cats (whom he adores).

3) Food - I feed him breakfast Saturday and Sunday (from MY money) and feed him dinner Saturday. We go back on forth on who pays for Saturday's dinner - sometimes him, sometimes me. When we go out to dinner we each pay for our own meals. And once again - he has NEVER bought me diet pills or given me money to buy them. He never would and I would never ask since he is against any type of diet pill.

3) He drinks my wine (and sometimes my beer) and anytime we have mixed drinks it is totally from stuff *I* have paid for - the rum, the mixes, etc.

4) He doesn't have money to re-up his Costco membership, so I am going to give him about half of what he needs to he can afford it.

Now I repeat, would you like to hear straight from Brad? I can bring this entry to his attention and ask him to weigh in. I'll let stand anything he says because he speaks the *truth* from a place of *knowledge.* You seem to think you know everything when you see only a snapshot here and there. You don't follow us around although you seem to think you do.

size8jeans said...

BTW, why do you need to hide behind Anonymous? You now have to register with Blogger to post. People who hide usually have something to hide.