Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Crushed and devastated

Calories eaten yesterday: 1267
Fat: 30g (24%)
Carbs: 67g (24%)
Protein: 152g (52%)
Weight this morning: 138.4
Calories burned in exercise today: 175

I don’t know where to start. Bill (on the board of directors) doesn’t want to do anything. He wouldn’t read the paper I wrote and lost the paper I gave him that Jon wrote! So I am left to die a slow and tortuous death at the hands of a boss who hates me and wants to get rid of me. Additionally, Bill is worried what would happen if Jon pulls out my personnel file, something he would surely do if we press the matter. Jon wants me gone and my file with every "sin" I’ve ever committed on the job would be powerful ammunition.

I am crushed, devastated, binging, feeling like all hope is gone. It looks like 2010 is going to suck; I have a boss who is out for blood and nobody to take my side. I feel like one of the three most important things has been taken from me; faith, hope, and love are the three greatest things according to the Bible, and I am having hope ripped from me.

Good bye to all my Facebook friends. I will miss you. My computer time at home is extremely limited. Beginning January 1 I will now spend my days at work staring at a wall for 8 hours, with nothing to do and no hope of things ever getting better – as long as Jon is boss, and I don’t see that changing.

I am crushed. I really don’t know any other way to say it. :(

I’m not going to the gym tomorrow. My state ID card is about to expire so I need to get a new one and that means a trip to the DMV. So exercise tomorrow will be plenty of walking to get to the DMV. I’ll go to the one close to work which is in a less nice section of town and therefore less busy (most people want to go to the nicer Claremont branch).

Speaking of ID cards, while walking to work yesterday I came across two ID cards on the sidewalk just up the street from the DMV. I picked them up and, since ID cards have addresses, will send them back to the people. Someone did this to me once when I lost my ID, so it’s time to "pay to forward." :)


Justine said...

Hey Victoria :)

Sorry to hear about your job woes. It's never a nice thing to feel victimised by your boss, and it's even worse having to spend 8 - 12 hours a day without access to the Internet. Have you considered trying to find a new job? I'm not sure what a network operator does, but surely your skills are transferable and can net you another, less painful, job? :)

Anonymous said...

Looks like you need to pick up a new hobby, like studying the bible... there might be a message from god in this..

Anonymous said...

This may be leading you to something even greater. Perhaps God is pulling you out of this job to give you an even better one. I know its crazy to think about being unemployed in this time, but that's where I believe the faith is greater because to us it does look so grim. Only HE truly knows and has our best interest at heart. Or maybe he's using this time to get rid of the boss who isn't too fond of you haha! I think its all about being strong in what you believe and standing with your faith.

Lira said...


I've never had a boss who hated me so much, but I know what it's like to personally be on the underling end of a boss-on-a-power-trip situation. Been there twice and seen it happen to others many more times. So: my deepest sympathies!

In your writing, I can see the stress eating at you. :( I hope and pray this defuses soon rather than blowing up on you.

Peace be with you.

Anonymous said...

God bless, sis. You are not unloved.

Incidentally, to the commenter above: 'Studying the Bible' would get her in as just much trouble at work, because it has the same potential to distract her. I do not believe this is a situation that can last ... one way or another.


Brian P.