Beltane

Breathe, Victoria, breathe. It will soon be over.

Okay, here it is Sabbath afternoon, April 30th, and I sit down to plan out tomorrow's menu so I can stay within my alloted calories and carbs. I click the April 30th link to go forrward and think, "What day's tomorrow? Is there an April 31st, or is it May 1st?" It only takes a moment before I think, "It's May 1st. Ack! Beltane! May 1st!"

Ok, what else is tomorrow? What else can I think about? Well, it's Easter Sunday for the Orthodox Church. It's the end of Passover for the Jews.

But I'm thinking about the Morris Dancers that will be in the park tomorrow to dance the sun up. I think about how I won't be there. And my heart is filled with sadness. I have not been in 9 years, and my heart still longs for that.

Pray for me. It will soon be over. And then my spiritual birthday is May 3. I just want to survive it without having to resort to my Xanex, althought that is what it's there for.

Besides Halloween, this is the hardest time of the year for me.

Movies - Hitchhiker's Guide

Went to the movies. Got a small popcorn, small diet Coke, and sugar free Russel Stover Pecan Delites. Yes, they have something low carbers can eat! :) Movie was good. Saw Hitchhiker's Guide. I'll go back again when Star Wars comes out.

I walked the last mile or so home. It's been faster than the bus both times I've done this and requires only one bus home instead of two. So that was my excercise for the day.

I'm a little sore from all the excercise I did yesterday. Just a little. Didn't even realize it until I tried to stretch my legs during the movie.

Adding old entries

I decided to take some of the better posts from my home blog and put them here. So expect to see more archives soon. :)

Scales, Weight, and Energy

Both of the scales at the gym were off today, so it was hard to get a correct reading. They both said 155.25, though I suspect I'm still 155. And TOM is here, so I didn't make my post-TOM low before starting again. :...(

I'm am SOOO tired and have no clue why. I took my B-vitamin. I did a lot of easy exercise today. I'm going to add some extra carbs in the form of an apple to get my energy up a bit.

Exercise - walking 30 minutes at 3.5 mph, 15 min. on the elliptical, 25 min. of light weights, and then 20 min. at 3.0 mph.

Lost only 2.5 pounds this whole month. :(

Planned Parenthood

Seems that Planned Parenthood is up in arms over a decision by Focus on the Family to use $4 million in private money (NOT public funds as PP uses) to buy ultrasound machines for some Crisis Pregnancy Centers. I'm not sure why they are complaining. PP says, "For women with unintended or unwanted pregnancies, these machines represent missed or messed up priorities. Not the women's, but ours." Messed up priorities? In what way? Is PP afraid of a live birth of an unintended child? Gee, my sister was unintended. Maybe she should have been aborted.

Planned Parenthood gets more than $265 million in taxpayer money every year to fund their programs, and they are complaining that FOTF is spending $4 in private funds to help CPCs?!? What am I missing here?

In case you are wondering about people being trained to operate these machine, FOTF is also providing that out of the $4 million. From what I'm told many CPCs have machines but no one trained to operate them. This will bridge that gap.

How did I hear about all this? Well, quite frankly only because PP kicked up a ruckus. I don't usually listen to FOTF, so it's likely that if PP would have stayed silent, I never would have known. But because they did, a woman named Dawn blogged about it (April 26 entry). In it she links to an article from PP describing the outrage of these machines in CPCs. (FOTF calls them PRCs - Pregnancy Resource Centers. I use the old CPC name because that's the way I learned it.)

I've decided that in honor of PP raising a stink about this that I will donate to FOTF. I never have before, but because PP did this and I heard about it thanks to them, I will do something I wouldn't otherwise do. Take that, PP.

Links:
Ultrasound Machines Placed
Option Ultrasound Update

Going to the movies

Ok, Hitchhiker's Guide opens on Friday. They have a digital show at 1:30, and regular film at 2:30. Since there is no way on God's green earth that I can make it to the theatre by 1:30, I'll go for the 2:30 show. Of course, this means popcorn, so I won't be counting calories or carbs on Friday, and I can't on Saturday. I'll just try to be good until I can go back to counting on Sunday again. Popcorn is my guilty pleasure that I get whenever I go to the movies.

After Hitchhiker's Guide I will see Star Wars, and then, who knows? I'm not big into going to the movies. I prefer to stay at home and watch TV. So I will gain over the weekend. I'll just try to be real good other than the popcorn and not go off the deep end.

Down to 155 today, only 1 pound above my post-period low last month. Now the key is to stay on plan as much as possible, and get down to 154.1 by the time TOM comes for another visit.

I was 155.25 on the main floor scale, but the scale in the woman's bathroom looked more balanced, and that one told me 155 so that's what I'm going by.

Catholic Bashing, take 3

Seems they can't handle the truth, so they use their mod powers to lash out. Mods like this are my biggest pet peeve.

Let's see. How can I capsulize this so as not to quote the private material he sent. I think linking to the threads in the other post is more than enough to show how unchristlike these people are.

In a private message to me, Jason first quoted me saying, "You know what they say about assuming... Or do you?" He then basically said yes, and that he'd sent me a warning for saying this. He told me to "dull that sharp tongue of yours."

I then recived a form e-mail where the moderator just has to fill in the necessary information. First that my account has received a warning, and that if I receive more than 3 warning they will lock me out. There are many ways to receive a warning, but mine is because of this post: http://fresh-hope.com/forums/viewtopic.php?p=322548#322548.

He then "kindly" asks me to obey the rules. The rule I broke?

You agree not to post any abusive, obscene, vulgar, slanderous, hateful, threatening,sexually-orientated or any other material that may violate any applicable laws. Doing so may lead to you being immediately and permanently banned" If you don't see why you've recived this warning you could try contact (name deleted), who gave the warning, explaining your post, and that you don't understand why this warning is given.

It totally eludes their ability to understand that they apply these rules selectively. They and other Catholic bashers can do anything they want, but God forbid someone try to stand up to them. Only those people get warning. I guess I will take my warning as a badge of honor. :)

At any rate, my post was sexually explicit?! Good Lord. They need help.

Oh well. Reminds me why I left. Maybe this time I'll learn my lesson and not come back again. [bangs head against wall]

Catholic Bashing, take 2

The forum was down earlier so I couldn't post link here. Now it's back up. Here's the threads on the Fresh Hope forum where the bashing is going on. As you can see, the moderators themselves are encouraging the bashers. Reminds me why I hardly ever visit the forum anymore. :(

Who has the authority to condemn?
and
Off topic

Yippee!

I got through the 12 hours shifts without going over my new lower calorie goal. It meant going hungry a lot but I'm so proud of me that I stayed within my limits.

Today it's back to my regular 8 hours shifts so it should be easier to stay in my limits. Stopped at the store and bought frozen veggies and fresh berries. I have no way to measure the veggies at work, but the raspberries came in a 6 oz. container, so I just ate the whole thing. Wowsers! Very few carbs! It was mostly fiber. Tomorrow I'll add the veggies back into my diet again.

Haven't weighed myself in 5 days because I haven't made it to the gym in 5 days. I need my "scale fix," lol. I swear I felt skinnier this morning, but we'll see tomorrow. Everytime my jeans are looser I show no loss. Then my jeans will get tighter again and I'll lose weight. My body hates me! I want out of these size 10s so bad!

I was bad Saturday but I've been really good since then, food-wise at least. I've been a good girl. I want to see a loss!

Might only make it to the gym twice this week. Oh well. No biggie if I don't get the third day in.

Catholic Bashing

What is it with people on forums who are so set in the mindset of "me, my four, and no more" that they have to go around saying that God is angry at Catholics for (fill in the blank) practice, and Catholics aren't saved? Of course, this person feels they have been appointed by God to save Catholics by bringing them the "Good News."

I'm sick of it. I have a friend who's a Catholic and have every reason to believe she's saved. I do not feel a need to preach to her about the evils of Catholicism to bring her into the truth of Protestantism. Do you see the crazy logic there? When she was intent on joining the Church I tried to support her, for two reasons. 1) She's strong willed and would join whether or not I supported her, so why should I hinder her? and 2) others were trying to hinder her by talking her out of it and I figured support would be welcome. I know how frustrating it was for me when I decided to keep the Sabbath, and how many people worried about me.

I'm not Catholic and have many problems with the Church's teachings. However, we agree on most of the main points of Christian doctrine, such as the Nicene Creed. They are my brothers and sisters in Christ. Why spend time trying to evangelize them (and in the most annoying ways possible) when there are so many unsaved people out there who have never met Jesus?

Unclear on the concept...

What is it with people "doing Atkins" who've never read the book and have no clue how to do the diet? True story, from the Weight Loss forum:

K there is this lady at work who is making my head spin. She is "on Atkins" and yet every break I cringe. I mean I am the first to say GREAT to those on Atkins comitting to it but if you are "on" a diet you aren't even adhering to then what's the point!!!???

She will order her special Atkins burger just a plain double cheeseburger no bun. Fine great. Then say "and a small banana shake small fry and gimme one of those chocolate brownies." THEN she says "I better watch out I only get 30 carbs a day." I assume she thinks noone is familiar with the program. I just smile and cash her out but inside I want to scream. She is WAY over her carbs for the day on just the shake right??? Argh....

Then she complains about how she isn't losing any weight.

---

Does this woman truly not know what a carbohydrate is? Is buying a paperback book and reading it too much trouble?

I also hear stuff over and over about how unhealthy Atkins is...the high fat will clog your arteries and send your cholesterol through the roof. It doesn't matter to them that every single study that's done supports Dr. Atkins' contention that his diet lowers cholesterol. At last check my cholesterol was 151, LDL 98, and HDL 45. My triglicerides were a rock bottom 38. Hmmm, maybe fat isn't the problem.

Here's some common myths about Atkins.

Tired

After the 12 hour shift yesterday, and another one today, there's no way I'm going to be able to drag myself out of bed to get to the gym tomorrow. Besides, I need to go shopping. My only fiber for the past few days has been strawberries, and today I'm even out of them. I need to buy frozen veggies. I also need Dreamfield's pasta, and more lunchmeat. I'm going through a sandwich phase right now - ham and turkey.

How we are linked

The lady who posted to my guestbook, Cindy, wrote me back. She found me by typing "ExWitch" into a search engine, and the second entry down is Andrew's blog with this entry. The part about me is at the end and reads thus:

"Victoria Shephard, a former wiccan whose conversion to Christianity is documented briefly in my book E-vangelism (and more thoroughly documented online, was working with exWitch Ministries at one time. But she's no longer listed on the staff."

I dropped him a quick note back explaining that, no, I'm not on staff anymore. I haven't talked to him in ages. I hope he writes me back.

12 Hour shifts are a killer

These 12 hour shifts are killing me. Jay quit, so while Jon looks for someone new, the rest of us are picking up the slack to get Jay's shifts covered. That meant that Lisa and I have been trading off 12 hour shifts for the last two days.

Not that I can complain. Overtime around here is very rare, and I really need it.

I think I'll skip the gym tomorrow. I'm just too tired. Plus I really
need to go to the store tomorrow. I am out of frozen veggies and fresh fruit. So I get none until I run to the store.

I just got the oddest guest book entry

I just got the strangest entry in my guest book. Considering how hard I tried to remove any mention of me from the site (excepting the forum), how did she find me through them?

In response to the question, "How did you find this Website?" Cindy writes, "From an article hailing exwitch.org." She explains a bit more further down, but still leaves lots of unanswered questions:

"This site is wonderful. I followed a link to a Delphi forum where you are some sort of a Sabbathkeeper. Perhaps I should read more there instead of asking you here. You seem to be very solid regarding your faith in Jesus Christ rather than Christianity the religion. I like that. God bless you Victoria"

I wonder if I should mail her back.

Sister & finace have a Web site

It's for their wedding.

www.renatoandapril.com

Here We Go!

My first post here. Having to update my blog from home was getting cumbersome and, timewise, harder and harder. It's hard to find the time to write and upload entries when it's late and you have to be up at a reasonable hour. And truthfully, since I started working out, I've had to get up earlier and earlier to make it to the gym before work. Being able to add entries from any computer should give me a better chance of updating this a little more regularly.

So I'll try to make this blog work and see if if I do any better. This one allows people to leave comments, which is cool, but setting it up was a pain. God (literally!) only knows how many hours I've been working on this tonight.

I hope I have the Links list set up correctly. The weather pixie at the bottom should change with the temperature, day/night, and moon phase. I'll continue changing and updating the links as ideas come.

Here's the link to my old blog, which will remain up.

And here's my current weight loss ticker:

I only did so-so. Fridays are hard because I'm home more and there's so much food. It's all "legal," but high in calories. I managed to stop at 2113 calories and 74 carbs.

Saturday I did horrible. I've got to get my eating under control! Started off the day with some cookies. Had a couple handfuls of Cheese-It's at church - I love Cheese-It's. For lunch I had Cesaer salad, heavy on the dressing, picked out the croutons. Also veggies and dip.

Dinner was a special meal at Jane's house. First we did communion and then Doug did a presentation about Passover and how it relates to us today as Christians. Then we had dinner - chicken and rice. I only had chicken, but I ate whatever rice was stuck to the chicken. I also had some of Jane's salad with the apple slices. I had one piece of unleavened almond bread because it was Passover - unleavened bread just seemed right.

For dessert I gave in and had one small piece of chocolate cake (so moist!) with chocolate mint frosting. Jane told Eric's wife about how good I've done on my diet. :) After the cake I had two servings of strawberries with Cool Whip. Then some of us watched a video about how violent rock and roll lyrics inspire teens to commit crimes. Anita drove me home and I walked in the door about 10.

The bad eating continued. I had a PB&J sandwich, two kinds of ice cream, some cookies, and a glass of wine.

Gosh, it looks horrible when I write it all out! I have got to get my eating under control and stop using my "cheat" day as a time to go hog wild.

Fat Pig :-p

Dr. appointment

Ok, let's see. Had the doctor's appointment today. I've lost 8 pounds since my last appointment 3 months ago. :-p Bleh. The doctor confirmed I had a medium bone sturcture. He's not concerned about my weight because 10 pounds overweight (I'm a little more than that, but not by much) is nothing. Blood pressure was 100/60.

I asked for Ativan to take "as needed" for anxiety. He gave me a 'script for Xanax instead. I can't get it in Canada, but it is fairly cheap here in the US. He gave me the 0.25mg (lowest dose) kind. 30 pills, with one refill. I'm sure that will be plenty unless I end up having to take more than one pill at a time. There are just those really bad days when I could use something. It's not something I'll take every day.

And my doctor told me he's leaving in July. I have an appointment to see him one last time the end of June. Why do all the good doctors leave? He's moving south to work for Kaiser. Now I have to find a new doc.

My appointment today included an ear cleaning, so it was nearly $200 total! :-p

I told him that it's been almost a year since my last cholesterol test and that I wanted to get a paper to have it done the next time I saw him. He said that he'd give me the paper now, I could have it done shortly before my next appointment, and then we could discuss at that appointment. He wrote me down for a complete metabolic panel and cholesterol.

I meant to ask him about the diet pills, but forgot to take the bottle with me.

Decided to skip the gym this morning. I was just toooooo tired when my alarm went off at 9. I shut it off, checked my calendar to make sure I didn't have any errands to run, and went back to bed. I slept until about 11:30. I still feel kinda tired and blah.

Today I had an Advantage bar for breakfast, some ground beef (plain) for lunch, and I also packed a turkey sandwich on low carb bread, and the rest of the strawberries (YUM!). I'll have a LifeChoice dinner later tonight for dinner.

I stopped at Walgreens on my way to work and broke down and bought some diet pills - Hydroxyless, with the two "S"s as dollar signs. I assume it's the off brand of Hydroxycut. It's supposed to help control appetite. We'll see if it helps. I'm kinda of desperate as my weight loss has stopped. It said on the back not to take it if you're on an MAOI. Nothing new there - MAOIs have TONS of dietary restrictions, and some of them are deadly serious (literally). But it also said not to take it if you are on an SSRI - which I am. However, I figured it probably wouldn't kill me since I have taken diet pills before with no problem. I'm not looking for a quick fix, just a kick start to my diet and excercise routine.

Have a dr. appointment tomorrow. It's just my regular med check up and I also asked them to irragate my ears since the wax can really build up and needs to be cleaned out every year or two. It's only a little painful.

Why Bother?

Been trying to reset and reassess my fitness and weight goals (not necessarily in that order). First it was 170, just lose the Zoloft weight. When I saw I could actually do that, I went for 159. Then I reset it again for 150. Then I reset it for 140 (for about 2 days, lol). Today it's 145. I wish I could pick a goal and stick with it!

Today I'm tired and a bit cranky. I did the pedal-type stairmaster for 20 minutes, then swam laps for an hour. Bleh.

I'm so tired I'm trying to remember why I want to lose any more weight. I'm already at the lowest weight of my adult life. So what if I'm still 12 pounds overweight? I'll obviously never lose it. Bleh. Too tired to think rationally.

I can't even remember why I believe in God right now, much less Christianity. Curse City Church! Why did they have to move their services so early? I work second shift. I don't *do* 7 a.m. 7 a.m. is the middle of the night for me. So why do I even think something is even out there? God (ha!) only knows. Surfed Christian Web sites and just found myself thinking, "Why do I believe in Jesus when I have only the Bible to look at? Why believe any of it? How can a rational adult believe an old book?" Like I said, I'm too tired to think rationally. I'm sure it will all look perfectly rational and right tomorrow.

And how can He demand such a high standard from me? Why does He demand it from me, but not anybody else? I just got to thinking about the DNA book my church is doing and thinking, "Ok, God wants me to learn all this, and put it to use, but since the principles only work to heal relationships when BOTH parties are willing to change, how the heck am I supposed to have any decent relationship if I'm expected to act the way the book says when the other people can act any way they want?!? It's an unfair high standard! Why can't I just be a baby Christian again? It's not fair! It's like I have to take all the abuse and God won't let me retaliate. It sucks.

And what kind of Bible verses come to mind or that I find when I'm reading? Bleh. The one about "Vengeance is mine." And in today's reading I came across the the part in 2 Corinthians about forgiving and accepting an erring brother (or sister). Last night I read Job and came across a whole passage where Job wishes he had died while still in the womb. I underlined it because that is so me.

I've been doing A LOT of thinking lately due to the above and also touched off by my upcoming 10th spiritual birthday, now only about 2 weeks off. This is BIG. I'm going into double digits and one whole decade of following Him. I've often felt like I'm not as far along as I should be. It was easy as a baby. I was ignorant and getting used to a new parent. I could act like the infant I was and God was as gentle with me as a baby needs gentleness.

But each year the challenges get harder. Occationally a BIG challenge comes along and God has to help me to just keep my faith and keep walking forward. But it's true that "That which does not kill me makes me stronger." With each close call my faith has grown. First because it forces me to study the facts behind my faith, and second because God can show His power in the face of all other things out there.

And yet today I can't even remember why I believe in Him at all. LOL! What a sorry specimen I am!

I'm just tired. Too tired to care about my weight loss or about God and the wonders He supposedly still does. Just too tired.

Potluck craziness

I did really bad food-wise yesterday. There were very limited food choices at the potluck. I finally caved and decided to have some of the soup. I figured I could pick the potatoes out. Wrong! The soup had been slow cooked for so long that the potatoes were completely disolved. God only knows how much starch was in there.

I'm up 2.75 pounds today. :(

I had some Cheese-It's - they are one thing I really miss on this diet so I let myself have some on Saturday during the snack time. There were no peanuts so I was reduced to picking out the peanuts and almonds from the trail mix. I had two bites of brownie, but only two bites, and one of those bites was the crumbs at the bottom of the bowl. I drank unsweetened iced tea and had some of Jane's salad (spinach with apples and cucumbers). Jane wasn't there this week so it was kind of a small salad.

I'm so tired today. I feel wretched. Too much excercise in a vain attempt to burn some frigging calories.

Gaining again - *sigh*

I gained over the weekend. I'm now up to 157.75, up from a low of 154.1. I just keep putting on more and more weight. It sucks. I did an hour and 20 minutes of excercise today to TRY to lose some weight or at least burn some calories. 20 minutes on the stairmaster, then 1 straight hour swimming laps in the pool. Bleh. Who knows or cares? I had a Subway salad for lunch - 400 calories including the dressing. A LifeChoice TV dinner would have had fewer calories and more protein, but I really wanted a salad.

Somebody out there hates me to allow me to keep gaining and gaining and gaining.

Weighty Matters

Weight loss is continuing, but slow. I set a new weight goal of 140. I have a medium bone structure, so 140 should be perfect.

Swimming is my newest favorite sport and makes avoiding church that much easier. I still go Saturday to my home church - always will - but hardly go to City Church at all anymore. Instead I go swimming at the Bayfair 24 Hour Fitness because they have a lap pool. Last week I went twice.

Last week the chlorine in the pool ruined my ponytail sticking out of my swimcap. I had to have my hair chopped, but it was the right decision. It looks real cute now and I have gotten compliments when I never got them before.

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention here, I bleached my hair a couple weeks ago and then dyed it blue. :) It's already faded to green, so I'll have to redo it again soon.

Ok, I gotta hit the sack so I can go swimming tomorrow before work. Nighty!

Popcorn, take 2

Well, I felt like a piggy wiggy for eating the popcorn today, so I decided to go swimming for an hour to work off those carbs. :) I came home and had a turkey sandwich on low carb bread. 13 more carbs right there. *sigh*

I weighed myself both before and after I swam. I weighed more after swimming than before. How weird is that? At any rate, I'm holding steady between 154.1 and 155. I'll get there.

Body Fat and Lean Mass

I just worked up my beginning body fat and lean pounds. Body fat start - 78.62 pounds. Lean mass start - 129.38 pounds.

Net body fat loss - 38.32 pounds.
Net lean mass loss - 14.68 pounds.
Total weight loss - 53 pounds.

I've managed to greatly slow my muscle loss by adding protein shakes, but I haven't yet completely stopped it.

Blue hair, take 6

The new me with short blue hair...

Blue hair, take 5

I think probably 12 inches were cut off.

I got a compliment after I cut it, and I never got one when it was long. I was wandering through Old Navy and a group of girls passed me and one commented that it was cool or she liked it or something. :) So I guess short blue hair "works." :)

Blue hair, take 4, and other stuff

Lesse. After having the chlorine in the pool water strip the blue from my hair, I decided to have it cut today. Everything that had stuck out of the cap looked just horrible. Light brown, light green, a couple streaks of blue still. And the ends looked all split and frizzed and it was just awful. Still, I winced when she cut off the entire ponytail before proceeding to more delicate work. I got to take the ponytail with me.

So now I have short blue hair down to about my chin. Should be easier to color now.

Did good eating yesterday except I had one too many glasses of wine. But I still came in way under on calories. Just wasn't hungry until it was nearly bedtime.

A box of low carb stuff I'd ordered came today, includuing the delicious Mini Carb chocolate bars with 12g of fat and no sugar alcohols. Also two boxes of low carb pizza crust mix, one box of chocolate coconut Advantage bars (on sale), 4 canisters of Keto pudding (on sale), Russell Stover chocolate covered peanuts, and a canister of white chocolate drink mix. Oh, and one peanut butter granola bar (Advantage). I've never tried it, though the gronola is not usually that filling, so I generally stay away from those.

At Old Navy I bought a pair of size 8 jeans, relaxed fit ($20!!!). Then I bought a shirt missing one shoulder (it cuts across the chest and goes under the right arm). I fit a medium in that! Then I had to buy a bikini top (they sell separates) to wear under the shirt. You won't catch me wearing that bikini top in public - it doesn't cover anything, especially with my huge chest! But I think it will make a nice top for lounging at home on hot summer days. My apartment is on the top floor and is unbearably hot in the summer. I don't know how the cats handle it.

Then I went to Walgreens and got tarnish remover for my ring (my ring tarnished when I swam with it). Also color retention shampoo and a thermal lunch box big enough for my big Glad bowl.

So I now have short hair. Pictures forthcoming at some point. I haven't have short hair in years.

Blue hair, take 3, and other stuff

Whew. Last week was the week from hell. By the time Friday afternoon rolled around I'd had it. I needed comfort food. I came all the way out to where I work for the burger joint next door. They forgot to put cheese on my burger - bleh. And all I'd had all day was a meal bar. So I was so huingry I virtually inhaled the food and didn't really enjoy it. Bleh again.

Then I went to Carrow's and had a glass of wine and a huge piece of the "Mile High" chocolate cake. I couldn't finish it all, so I took it home with me and ate it later that night, after warming it in the microwave - yum!

Saturday I did only so-so. I discovered last time corn dogs were served at the potluck that they are a weakness of mine. So I had one. Then I had some of Jane's salad with the apples and cranberries. I also brought along a turkey sandwich on low carb bread and ate that. I brought a low carb candy bar along for dessert while everyone else had little packets of Easter candy. I had two cups of iced tea (unsweetened and then I added Stevia) and one cup of water. Usually one cup of iced tea is enough, so I know it's the carb making me retain water.

At home I had some of the Keto dark chocolate ice cream. Not sure how much I had but not a lot. I also had a bag of microwave popcorn, a beer, and two glasses of wine (3 drinks total, spread out over the evening).

Today I'm back on track. My glycogen stores are full, so I had tons of energy. I went to the Bayfair 24 Hour fitness, did 20 minutes on the pedal type stairmaster, then slowly swam laps for a total of an hour, with some hot tubbing mixed in. It stripped the color from my hair! I'm so upset! Only the top of my head is blue anymore. :(

New low - 154.1!

I can't believe it! I've lost 3 pounds in 2 days (I always do right after my period), so my new post-period low is 154.1! I am only about 4 pounds away from my goal! So I'm thinking about 2 more months to get where I want to be. I'm down 2 pounds from yesterday. Yesterday I was 156. Today I am 154.1! I am so thrilled! I feel great! :)

After I reach my goal weight I need to eat more calories, more protein, and focus on weight training more. I'm still overfat even if I'm not overweight, so I need to work on that. :)

On the downside I can feel a binge coming on real soon. Not sure when I'll fail but it came on real strong yesterday and I know I can only hold it off so long. I usually gain 2-3 pounds of water weight that it takes me a week to lose.

On the up side I am now so low that I think I am safely out of the 160s even if I binge. :)

Gosh, I'm just so pleased! How can I love a diet so much that I can stick with it? And lose weight without starving myself on a low calorie diet?

Except for one day, my carbs have been under 50g a day, with one other day at 51g. I know I need more carbs for my gym workout. It's just so easy to keep them low and tempting because I know I retain less water when I lower the carbs. But I do need more carbs when I work out.

I'm pressing myself to run faster. I can now do 4.5 mph by loping, so I'm pushing myself to run at 5 mph. So far I can only do short distances. But the big race is only 5 weeks away! (Gosh, I hope I get my runner's packet soon.) Dangit, somehow I MUST complete the course in 1:36. I must. But in order to do that I have to be able to run 2 miles without stopping. My goal is to make it to the foot of the one major hill before slowing to a walk. The hill is just over 2 miles in and I've never quite made it, though I came close one year. (That was several years ago when I worked on my feet. I may have been 20 pounds overweight, but I was in excellent shape, and could run 2 miles without slowing to a walk. THAT is the record I want to break. I only race myself and no one else.)

Popcorn

This is not good. I ate a bag of popcorn for dinner tonight. My carbs are a bit high, but I fit them in - only 36 carbs in the entire bag. But the salt. I swear I will weigh more tomorrow. I checked my sodium in FitDay, though, and I'm actually under the max health amount today! Go figure! I almost always go WAY over. But the stupid popcorn is still making me thirsty and I just know I'll be up tomorrow due to water retention. I just can't handle the scale being so mean, but I'm too curious to stay away!

My fat was pretty good - over 100g so a little high but not a big deal. My carbs are in the 90g range - high even for me. And my protein is under 100g - way low.

Ah well.

The popcorn didn't even fill me up. That'll teach me to go around eating high carb stuff. I'm still hungry and I've eaten most of my calories today. When I get home I get my glass of wine and one cup of sugar free Jello. Then brush my teeth and go to bed.

Size medium!

This actually happened a while back, but it's still cool. I've always worn "large" bottoms because of my weight. Well, some people at church gave me a bag of clothes to look through, keep what I want, and give the rest to Goodwill. I found a darling long black skirt with huge red roses on it. It's a size medium and it fits perfectly! :) I can't remember the last time I wore a medium.

In tops I still wear large or extra large because my boobs aren't shrinking so things are always tight under the arms unless I get a larger size.

Blue hair, take 2

Well, the lighting leaves something to be desired - the black areas are shadows, not black hair, but anyway, here you go... :o)

Blue hair

Ok, bleaching my hair as I type, the first step before coloring it blue. I gave up trying to do strips. Too hard when it's just me. Maybe next time I color I can get the strips right. So I'm bleaching as much as I can. Then I will color as much as I can. Picutes will be forthcoming at some point.