The Morris dancers...bagels and coffee with H and A afterwards, sitting on the bagel shop's patio in the early morning light, yawning and waiting for the caffeine to hit my system.
Tomorrow is Beltane. So far I'm not freaking out like last year. I think that's because last year I realized that Beltane was coming up on a Saturday when I was home. This year I am at work and therefore have work to distract me.
I said last year that it had been 9 years since I'd seen the Morris Dancers, but I think it was only 8 years. This year will mark 10 years as a Christian for me, I became a Christian just two days after Beltane, and I think I saw the Morris Dancers that year. So this year will mark 9 years away. I still miss it, but not as intensely as last year.
If I had remained Wiccan I would be 14 on May 3. Funny how I became first a Witch and then a Christian on the same day. It wasn't something I was consciously aware of. But all this is chronicled in my story.
And yes, May 3 is my spiritual birthday and will mark 10 years of following Christ. It doesn't seem like that long, and I feel I should be much more mature than I am.
*sigh* I find there are no words, just mixed emotions, with sadness at the forefront. I doubt I will ever be completely "free," and I wonder if that's even best. Why forget the good times? What would that accomplish?
Tomorrow is Beltane, but the thought is soft around the edges this year. I'll make it through just fine.
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