Sunday, April 30, 2006

Beltane

The Morris dancers...bagels and coffee with H and A afterwards, sitting on the bagel shop's patio in the early morning light, yawning and waiting for the caffeine to hit my system.

Tomorrow is Beltane. So far I'm not freaking out like last year. I think that's because last year I realized that Beltane was coming up on a Saturday when I was home. This year I am at work and therefore have work to distract me.

I said last year that it had been 9 years since I'd seen the Morris Dancers, but I think it was only 8 years. This year will mark 10 years as a Christian for me, I became a Christian just two days after Beltane, and I think I saw the Morris Dancers that year. So this year will mark 9 years away. I still miss it, but not as intensely as last year.

If I had remained Wiccan I would be 14 on May 3. Funny how I became first a Witch and then a Christian on the same day. It wasn't something I was consciously aware of. But all this is chronicled in my story.

And yes, May 3 is my spiritual birthday and will mark 10 years of following Christ. It doesn't seem like that long, and I feel I should be much more mature than I am.

*sigh* I find there are no words, just mixed emotions, with sadness at the forefront. I doubt I will ever be completely "free," and I wonder if that's even best. Why forget the good times? What would that accomplish?

Tomorrow is Beltane, but the thought is soft around the edges this year. I'll make it through just fine.

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4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Just so you know ... Susan made a point to pray for you yesterday over just this issue, that it would be as easy for you as possible.

Respectfully,

Brian P.

Newbirth said...

Thank you. That's very kind of her. So far everything's okay. :)

Anonymous said...

40 Days of Purpose IS controversial. I have heard it said before: too many paraphrases without links to actual verse.

I have the book, but have not started it yet.

Please let us know your experience. I personally have issues with paraphrasing the Bible; when you do that you can make anything mean anything!

Newbirth said...

He has references to the verses, but they are in the back of the book, which means you need to look them up there, then go to a real translation and look it up there. My biggest concern (like yours) is with paraphrases you can all too easily play fast and loose with the facts.

I understand he didn't want the verses he used to sound familiar so you just skim them over - and that's a valid argument - but he should have found an obscure translation (not a paraphrase) so that people wouldn't instantly recognize it. A translation (actual translation) that few people use.