Good-bye, Joan...

I'm late getting this up, but once again a network has cancelled one of the few good shows out there. After Touched By An Angel was cancelled, Joan of Arcadia replaced it for me, and now they are cancelling that! There are so few wholesome programs out there, especially ones that deal with matters of faith.

Here are some links:
http://www.usatoday.com/life/television/news/2005-05-17-cbs-schedule_x.htm
http://www.cbs.com/primetime/joan_of_arcadia/
http://www.joanofarcadia.com/
http://www.joanofarcadia.net/

Atkins helps diabetes patients

WELLINGTON, New Zealand, May 23, 2005 (United Press International via COMTEX) -- A study by New Zealand's Wellington Hospital indicates the high-fat Atkins diet helps diabetes patients lose weight and control the disease.

Full story here.

This sounds like common sense to me. Of course Atkins helps diabetes patients. Atkins is low carb and diabetics need to control their carbs.

Now if only my Dad would listen. :(

Weight Loss Gimicks

Click on the banner link below and check out this site. Be sure to take the little test on the right hand side.

The Atkins' Diet IS healthy!

My blood test results:

Look at these numbers! My total cholesterol is up 15 points, but my LDL is down 14 points and my HDL is up 29 points! Triglicerides remained stable (and very low). My glucose was only 75, which partially explains why I got so lightheaded after my blood test (the other reason being my somewhat low blood pressure).

Test type.....my number....(previous #).....normal range

Lipids
Cholesterol...166...(151)...<200
Triglicerides...39...(38)...<150
VLDL...8...(8)...5-35
LDL...84...(98)...<130
HDL...74...(45)...>40
Cholesterol/HDL ratio...2.2...(3.4)...(this puts me in the "low risk" catagory for heart attack - anything below 3.5 is "low risk")

Comprehensive Metabolic Panel
Glucose...75...(90)...65-99
Urea nitrogen...13...(25)...7-25
Creatinine...0.8...(0.9)...0.5-1.2
Calcium...8.6...(9.2)...8.5-10.4
Sodium...138...(141)...135-146
Potassium...4.0...(4.4)...3.5-5.3
CO2...22...(21)...21-33
Chloride...105...(107)...98-110
Protein, Total...6.6...(7.2)...6.0-8.3
Albumin...4.2...(4.3)...3.7-5.1
Globulin...2.4...(2.9)...2.0-3.9
A/G ratio...1.8...(1.5)...1.0-2.5
Bilirubin, Total...0.5...(0.7)...0.2-1.3
Alkaline Phosphatase...38...(37)...20-125
AST (SGOT)...15...(12)...2-35
ALT (SGPT)...15...(12)...2-40

Rain, rain, go away...

It's still raining. Still! In mid-June! I guess I didn't get Mother Nature's memo that Northern Calfornia won't be having summer this year. :-p I seriously hate this. I want warm summer weather. It is not supposed to rain in May here, much less June!

Curiously enough, my sister says Seattle's weather has been fairly good. I think somehow we traded with Seattle. They can take their weather back! If I wanted Seattle's weather I'd live there!

No gain from cruise!

Well, I guess I did okay on the cruise and it was mostly water retention from too many carbs. I only gained a teeny bit on the cruise. Well, TOM happened right before I left so I should have lost, but oh well. I've lost one month and will have to wait for the next TOM to see a new low. Next goal - to get to 150.

A co-worker here recently went on a cruise and came back 6 pounds heavier. He's already middle aged, overweight, huge belly, had one heart attack already, and he's just not willing to do what it takes. He won't stick to anything.

Anyway, the 5 pounds was all water and I've been peeing like a race horse since getting back on my diet and I was at 152.5 this morning. Certainly not a low, but a whole lot better than 157.5 just a few days ago.

Weight Issues

Ok, here I am on the lower end of 150. I'm hoping to make 150 after next month's monthly water weight loss. I didn't make it this last month because of the cruise. I gained 5 pounds of water from the cruise which I lost after getting back on my diet again.

I think I finally found a good weight to shoot for. I need to weigh between 133 and 147 for my height and bone structure. I think I will go for 140. That's pretty much the middle of that range. In fact, it's exactly the middle according to my calculator.

152.5 today, so 12.5 pounds to go.

Which Twentieth Century Pope Are You?

You are Pope Pius XII. You're efficient and
dedicated, but not very approachable.

Which Twentieth Century Pope Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

More on Star Wars

Here's another quick link to another blog that talked about this film. It's a well-written review:

http://danc.nomadlife.org/2005/05/star-wars-episode-iii-revenge-of-sith.aspx

Blood and water

Had blood drawn today for cholesterol and metabolic panels. The first vial didn't seem to be vaccuum sealed anymore and wouldn't accept blood. So he had to pull out the needle, get another vial, and stick me again. Bleh.

Afterwords and felt lightheaded and naucious, like I would faint and/or throwup. They gave me a garbage can and I coughed over it, but nothing came up. All I'd had to eat (which made me sick most likely) was one sip of coffee after the test was over. Then they put me in an empty exam room and let me lie on the table and gave me a little cup of water to drink. Pretty soon I could eat and had the meal bar I brought, and then I was able to get up and leave. I went grocery shopping, but took it very slow and leaned on the cart more than usual.

If anyone wonders if I'm a fat pig, the woman at the blood draw place asked me if I was pregnant. This was after the blood test, not before. My tummy sticks out so far she wondered if I was pregnant! So yes, I am fat.

I had blood drawn a year ago and didn't feel sick afterwards. Why now? I'm not diabetic so even though it was a fasting test my blood sugar should have been okay. Has been the times they checked it before (87 and 90 respectively, which are in normal range).

Anyway, that was my fun adventures. The sticks on my arm still hurt a little and I'm just trying to take it easy. I ate all my higher carb lunch stuff to see if that might help me feel better (my strawberries and my sandwich).

Dying inside

I'm pissed. This is not good. I haven't been to any church (Sabbath or Sunday church) in two weeks because of vacation. I was REALLY excited about getting back to church today. But I was supposed to meet Anita at 9:45 and I forgot and thought it was 10, so she drove off just a few minutes before I got downstairs. My home phone wasn't working because I was online, but my cell phone should have rung. I tried to call her cell phone, but it wasn't working. And when she got to church and found out from Pastor Steve, whom I called, she wouldn't come back and get me. Too far I guess.

At any rate, I'm pissed, and doubly so because I had no control over whether her or my cell phone would work.

So now I have a whole day and nothing to do. I have half a mind to go to the gym and weigh myself and get more depressed. Might as well bunch all the bad stuff into one day.

:...(

I haven't been to church is 3 weeks! I need the fellowship.

Looks like I'll have to get up at 7 a.m. tomorrow in order to at least make the "late" service at City Church.

[goes off crying]

More on Star Wars

Here's some thoughts from Brian on Anakin, the Chosen One, the Sith, and the Jedi.

From: Pendell1    4:14 am
To: Sapphire Princess (Newbirth) unread

Couple points. 

I actually think Anakin WAS the chosen one.  He was supposed to fulfill the role of Nebuchadnezzar. 

Read Jeremiah 25:15-26.   Isreal at the time was completely corrupt, and so were the surrounding nations.  So God appointed Nebuchadnezzar (the king of Sheschach, or Babylon, in the prophecy) to serve the cup of wrath to all the surrounding nations and to Isreal. And when all of them had drunk the cup to the dregs, the king of Babylon would drink it too. 

I see this as a perfect parallel to what the Jedi experienced at Anakin's hand. The Jedi, like ancient Isreal, were at the height of their power -- and they had a beautiful temple. But like the ancient Isrealites, they had lost their way.  In their fear of the dark side, they had allowed themselves to forget the true source of their power, which is compassion. Love. 

Because of this, they had lost touch with the true Light, and they became blinded.   They were no longer aware of the Sith's moves, having lost their foresight to delusion and ASSUMING they knew what the prophecy meant when it meant something else entirely. 

Weeds do not grow in a well-tended garden. The reason Palpatine was able to flourish in the senate and subvert the galaxy as he did was because the Jedi had neglected their watch, fallen asleep, grown complacent and confused. 

As Nebuchadnezzar was to Isreal, so Anakin was to the Jedi -- an instrument of violence to throw down the old, corrupted order and to make room for a new order of Jedi, the one starting with Luke.  One that would remember it's basic principles. One that would try to SAVE those in darkness (like Anakin), not destroy them.

This is a clue that Obi-wan and Yoda never quite latched onto.  Luke had a better sense of the force than they did, for Luke never lost sight of the potential for redemption in his father, and worked for his restoration to the Light. Obi-wan and Yoda had completely lost this faith, and not only advocated that Luke destroy this man, but that they deliberately lied to try to trick him into this choice!  

As I said, the old Order had completely lost it's moorings.   And so Anakin was appointed to be an instrument of wrath, clearing away the old detritus that the Jedi order could be reborn anew.    Darth Vader swept through the galaxy destroying all the Jedi, and he continued to do so until *every last Jedi* of the Old Order was destroyed.  Not until Obi-wan and Yoda were safely in their graves did Darth Vader at last die.  He couldn't. Because if the emperor had been overthrown *at any given point* before this had happened, the Old Order would have re-asserted itself, and it all would have been for nothing. 

When the last of the Old Order had died, the purpose of the Sith was completed.  Now that they had successfully served the cup of wrath to all the galaxy, the time had come for them to drink the cup they had served to so many others.  And so at last Luke had the power and the ability to conquer Vader -- not through the raw, naked force of the Dark Side, but by love and compassion drawing him back to the Light.   And so Anakin, who had been driven to the Dark by the Old Jedi's lack of compassion (remember Yoda's counsel to Anakin in the temple when he was afraid for his wife's death?  It still makes me burn with anger!)  was drawn back to the light by the compassion and love of the new.  He was at last empowered to break the dark servitude he had been enslaved in for decades,  and overthrow his hateful master.   So both the Emperor and Darth Vader died that day -- the one by annihilation of the body, the other by the free choice of Anakin Skywalker to kill that part of himself.

And so Anakin fulfilled the prophecy of bringing balance to the Force. Not only had he successfully destroyed all the Sith, but he also destroyed all the Jedi as well, leaving the galaxy free to become a Republic under the guidance of younger, wiser Jedi.

---

And more from the same person:

From: Pendell1    4:34 am 
To: Sapphire Princess (Newbirth) unread

Wanted to add one more thing. 

The novelization explains the whole "bring balance to the Force" thing. 

From the Jedi point of view,  the Dark Side always exists.  It's like a weed.   It doesn't matter whether the Jedi live or don't live. It doesn't matter if every Sith in the galaxy is dead -- still the Dark Side will flourish and grow again, because men (and aliens) are selfish, greedy, self-absorbed, self-centered. 

Evil always exists.  "Balance" happens when evil exists but is kept in check, by the government and by the Jedi.   If the galaxy is a garden, and weeds always exist, the garden is in balance when there are gardeners keeping the weeds in check, uprooting them so that healthy plants can live out their lives without being strangled or crowded out by self-seeking weeds.  There can be no better condition than "balance", because the utter eradication of evil cannot be brought about by human hands. It is part of human nature, and cannot die while humans live.

But when the instruments of Order THEMSELVES become weeds -- then the balance is decisively tipped to the dark.   When the gardeners pull up the healthy plants and allow weeds to grow, then the whole garden is in danger of becoming weeds.  The garden becomes a jungle.   This is what happened when the Sith took over. With the removal of the Jedi and the subversion of the Republic into an entity that actively fostered evil, the balance was badly upset.

Truth be told, the balance was ALREADY upset in Episode I.  The Republic was already fast becoming an agent of evil, due to it's corruption.  The Jedi, as I demonstrated in the last post, were nowhere near what they should have been in preventing the spread of evil.   The balance faltered, until it tipped so heavily that Republic became Empire, and the Jedi were destroyed. 

Anakin restored the balance not only by destroying the Emperor and the Sith, but also by destroying the Old Republic and the Jedi as well.

You see, it wasn't enough simply to kill the Emperor.  The Emperor (as we learn from the ROTJ novelization) was taking advantage of and furthering trends that already existed.  Even without Palpatine, The Old Republic was STILL corrupt and the Jedi were STILL blind.  Anakin had not only to destroy the Empire, but to destroy the CONDITIONS that had brought about the Empire in the first place. 

Had both Anakin and Palpatine died in Episode I, the Old Republic STILL would have become the Empire. It would just have taken longer.  It's corruption and the Jedi's blindness were great, and becoming greater. So great that sooner or later some evil man of power and purpose could take over the whole thing -- not because he was so strong, but because the immune system had utterly failed.  

Only when the last vestiges of the Old Republic were swept away in Ep. IV, and only when the last of the old Jedi had died in Ep. VI, was it possible for a New Republic and a New Jedi Order to arise, one that would start out far less corrupt than the old, and give the galaxy peace for another thousand years or so. For nothing mortal remains incorrupt.    

When this happened at last, the Sith had no more reason to exist. And so they were destroyed -- not by the power of Darkness, but by the power of Love and Compassion, two weapons that the Enemy does not understand at all, and thus cannot enter into his calculations.

That is why Palpatine died. He could not perceive compassion as anything but a weakness, and for all his foresight and his cunning and his immense power and his mighty battle station and the uncounted Imperial Navy he was undone because he simply could not perceive the real power and strength that lay in love. And so he was destroyed by a Father's love for his child.

---

Could Anakin be the Chosen One of the prophecy? What do you think?

Cheating

Didn't do as bad as I could have I guess. The movie didn't quite work out as planned and I ended up having 2 hours to kill at the shopping center. So I decided to have lunch before the movie and checked out several places. I finally settled on a grill and had Caesar salad (picked out the croutons), and serloin beef with the french dip sauce. I figured the sauce would be very low in carbs. I also had two glasses of Merlot, and got a low carb burger to go. That will be dinner tonight. Then I got a single espresso as I forgot my vitamin B this morning so was more tired than usual. Should have gotten a double.

At the theater I had a medium popcorn and a package of the Russell Stover candy. After the Merlot I wasn't thirsty and didn't want to drink right before a 2 1/2 hour movie, so I just got water. I ate all the popcorn and all the candy, even after the lunch I'd had. :(

I'm so bloated and my size 10s are tight. I'm a total failure. :(

Two more thoughts

Forgot one other thing about the movie. Buzz' post on Adam and Eve reminded me. The chancelor is like Satan and Anakin like Adam and Eve. Yoda specifically and the cousel as a whole are like God. Anakin's downfall was believing the lie that there is more, than the Jedi are holding something back from him, that they do not have his best interests at heart. Like Satan with Eve, the chancelor gets Anakin to doubt the goodness of the Jedis; he gets him to believe that they are trying to hold him back from his full potential.

And the Jedi were, because we all have the capacity for both great good and great evil, and they wanted to protect Anakin from that forbidden fruit; they wanted his to only use the force for good. Just as Adam and Eve knew about good AND evil after eating the fruit, so Anakin chose to believe the chancelor and learn about evil so that he would be more powerful than any Jedi before, just as Satan told Eve she would be "like God."

Last thought, and not sure how it relates to God. I'll take any of your guys' thoughts on the subject. When Anakin turns to the dark side, he starts thinking in black and white absolutes. Obi-Wan tells him that is how a Sith thinks. The Jedi see all sides of things and tend to mould their actions to each situation. They kill when they have to, and spare when they have to (something Anakin was terrible at - he *always* did the wrong thing, killing when she should have saved and saving when he should have killed). Jedi generally don't kill; they save lives, yet it would have been right to kill the chancelor. Anakin only sees in black and white. How does this relate to our faith as Christians, or does it?

Didn't do as bad as I could have I guess. The movie, Dukes of Hazzard, didn't quite work out as planned (it wasn't playing anymore) and I ended up having 2 hours to kill at the shopping center and seeing a different movie, The Exorcism of Emily Rose. So I decided to have lunch before the movie and checked out several places. I finally settled on a grill and had Caeser salad (picked out the croutons), and serloin beef with the french dip sauce. I figured the sauce would be very low in carbs. I also had two glasses of Merlot, and got a low carb burger to go. That will be dinner tonight. Then I got a single expresso as I forgot my vitamin B this morning so was more tired than usual. Should have gotten a double.

At the theater I had a medium popcorn and a package of the Russel Stover candy. After the Merlot I wasn't thirsty and didn't want to drink right before a 2 1/2 hour movie, so I just got water. I ate all the popcorn and all the candy, even after the lunch I'd had. :(

I'm so bloated and my size 10s are tight. I'm a total failure. :(

Thoughts on Star Wars Episode III, The Revenge of the Sith

I was blown away! This was SUCH a good movie. I'm just sorry there won't be any more. I rented Episode 4 (the first one made) to make the continuity stong in my mind. But now it all makes sense: The Sith come to power in this one, as the remaining Jedi hide, and the next one starts with Luke and Leia grown up and is titled "A New Hope."

Anakin was supposed to furfill prophecy I see. But the Jedi did correctly guess toward the end that they may have misinterpreted the prophecy. As we the viewers all known, Anakin's child, Luke, is the Chosen One.

I find it VERY interesting how Anakin wound up becoming Darth Vader. He goes to the dark side to save Padme from dying in childbirth, as his dream told him would happen. He would do anything to save her. And yet, Padme does die in just the way the dream fortold.

Isn't it just like Satan to give us a means to get something we want (a wrong means), get us to walk down the path, even pledge ourselves to him, and then NOT give us the thing we sought after?

I just have one question. What DID Padme die of? The droid said she was healthy, but that she had lost the will to live. The chancellor told Anakin that Anakin had killed her with his anger. Which is right?

I have to say I cried when Anakin started going over to the dark side. And I really felt for Obi-Wan. All his dreams, his view of Anakin as the furfillment of prophecy, and his love for him as a brother - all that and he had to turn away, walk away as Anakin was on the verge of death. I sensed that gave him no pleasure. He was doing what he had to do, but, as he even stated, Anakin broke his heart. He had poured years of his life teaching this boy that growns up to become his enemy.

I respect Obi-Wan more after this movie than from any other. He has all the best intentions at all times, but sometimes he REALLY screws up. It is then that I recall the end of episode 6, when he appears to Luke with Anakin back at his side, and he is smiling. It's a reminder that even the worst mistakes will all eventually be put right. The friends turned enemies turned friends again. All is forgiven.

I think the final betrayal for Anakin was when Obi-Wan thought Anakin would die and walked away. At a time when he needed his friend, he was abandoned, and the chancellor was the only one left to pick up the pieces (literally). Now someone remind me, just as the chancellor killed his mentor, doesn't Anakin eventually kill him, way down in Episode 6?

The other thing that struck me is, after it became clear Anakin had turned from the light side, Yoda never told Obi-Wan "I told you so." I expected him to remind Obi-Wan that the counsel had told him way back in the beginning that he was too old to train. Maybe he felt responsible, too. At any rate, Yoda simply offers Obi-Wan more training under Obi-Wan's old master.

One man can change so much. If Obi-Wan had simply left Anakin alone and NOT trained him, Luke would have come along in time and been the Chosen One. Additionally, if Anakin had not saved the chancellor, the whole rest of the series would have been different. Because Anakin goes to the dark side, much suffering happens. To save Padme, he sacrifices anyone and everyone else. In the end, he loses Padme, too. He loses everything, including the only people that really cared about him.

In the end, there is hope, though. Leia is adopted to one family, and Luke to another. One question - who were the people who adoped Luke? I missed the quick dialogue where that was explained. And who was the man who took Leia? I don't recall him playing much, if any, part in the other movies. Who the heck is he?

Those are my thoughts. Star Wars lives!

Movies - Revenge of the Sith

I remembered today that I haven't seen "Revenge of the Sith" yet, so I guess I'll go tomorrow. I wanted to wait until the crowds died down. I hunted down a couple theaters and found a matinee for $6 at 3:15 pm. The bigger theater has matinees at $8 (last matinee is 3:45 pm) and is further out, but has better amenities, including Russell Stover sugar free candy and one movie being digital (the one I want to see), which I'm told is great.

I can't count if I have popcorn, and popcorn is my traditional "theater" food, but I'll have the diet Coke and the sugar free candy. Haven't decided which theater I'll go to, but I'm leaning toward the larger one, both for what they have to offer, and because the smaller one, though closer, has super liberal politics that I don't support. They even put anti-war messages on their marquee. :-p I want to see a movie, not listen to someone's politics.

At any rate, no way really to count tomorrow and I'll be going to the movies. I always go on my day off so I don't have to worry about work and can go when I want.

What is Your World View?

You scored as Cultural Creative. Cultural Creatives are probably the newest group to enter this realm. You are a modern thinker who tends to shy away from organized religion but still feels as if there is something greater than ourselves. You are very spiritual, even if you are not religious. Life has a meaning outside of the rational. Cultural Creative 69% Fundamentalist 56% Romanticist 56% Existentialist 25% Postmodernist 25% Modernist 25% Idealist 6% Materialist 0% What is Your World View? (updated) created with QuizFarm.com

Lunch Blues, take 3

I finally gave in. The world was against my diet from the start and I just got back from vacation so one binge day won't kill me, so I went off the deep end and ate half of a medium pizza and an entire order of CinnaStix with the ooey gooey sugar dip. I'm stuffed and now I think I'm ready to get back to eating healthy. Tomorrow for sure and I won't leave half of lunch at home!!!

Lunch Blues, take 2

Crap. Scrap that idea. Subway has no wraps and no spinach for salads. I guess that means no dinner. They told me to go to the shopping center. Yeah right. I'm on the clock and it's a 20 minute walk each way. Like I can leave my post - NOT. And all the gas station has is hot dogs.

Crap. I still have 5 hours left. I wanted to eat. I'm only at 1400 calories for the day. I need 500 more calories.

Crap.

Lunch Blues

Well, I forgot half my lunch today. I forgot the whole thing and went back and grabbed my lunch bag and didn't realize I'd left half of it behind until later. So I guess I'll have to use my Visa check card at Subway and pay the surcharge to get enough food today. Bleh. I had a whole menu planned out, low in carbs and everything. But I've already eaten all the food I brought because I LEFT HALF MY STUPID LUNCH AT HOME! God, how stupid can I be? Guess I'll get a sandwich and a salad.

Back from cruise

All is well, and I am already unpacked with the suitcases put away. Just one bag of Princess memorabelia still sitting out. I have to be up early so I'll write more later, but I'm back, I'm okay, the trip was good, and I go back to work tomorrow. Looks like I have lots of errands this week, so it will take me a while to get back to the gym; might only make it once. Cats are fine, fish is fine. Still need to eat something and then get to bed. See you all later!

Cruise Blues, take 5

Went into San Francisco today to pick up my passport. I've been praying so hard and so much the last couple of days.

They had my passport ready!

Not only that, but when I checked my P.O. Box, my new Visa check card was there, along with my new California ID, and an extra surprize - someone found my ID at Bay To Breakers and sent it back to me! I'm drowning in ID, lol! God has a sense of humor.

Back at work today, though still sick. It's my last day of work before vacation so I needed to come in and clean up some stuff before I go.

Anyway, the trip is a go! Yea!!!!!!!!! (c:

Cruise Blues, take 4

Even though I'm sick, I went to the passport office this morning and applied for an emergency passport. They said to come back Thursday after 11 a.m. The process was very easy - too easy.

I'm worried because she wrote down the expiration of my old expired ID card. I'm worried they'll deny my application because I don't have a current valid ID. She had no interest in my DMV receipt that says I applied for a new one. If they deny me I will be out of luck. Old Navy refused to exchange - not refund, EXCHANGE - a pair of jeans because I had no recepit and no current ID. Could the government be any better? Somehow I think they will be worse.

I called U.S. Customs and Border Patrol and they said I could get on the boat; I just might not be able to get into Canada. Somehow, I don't believe it.

At any rate, I'm home sick (have tomorrow off, too), and very worried. Please pray for this situation with me. This is a once on a lifetime chance. I don't want to miss it because some idiot steals my ID.

My sucky day

Well, I'm sick. Coming down with a cold. I managed to find someone to fill in for me tomorrow. I still have to run into the city and do all that (and get up really early to do that), but in the evening I should be able to stay home and relax (I hope!).

I thought I was supposed to do overtime, but it was changed and I somehow didn't hear. I'd bought groceries and was heading to work when I discovered this. So I took the groceries home and, since I was already quite awake, decided to go to the gym. I walked for 5 minutes on the treadmill, then found an empty elliptical machine and stayed on that for a whole hour. Walking felt so weird after that, lol. Then I headed to work.

Cruise Blues, take 3

And we're back to stressing again. Dad called me and said to call Princess Cruises and take to a specific person and ask them if I had enough documentation. They had no clue who the person was, so I told the lady who answered what was going on. She was gone a long while getting an answer and then told me to call the US Immagration and Naturalization service. They told me it might not be enough, so no promises of getting on the ship. I did so and they told me to go to the Website for US Customs and Border Protection. A Website! No phone number. On the Website I was able to get the phone number. They were closed. So I can't do anything but worry until tomorrow. And pray like hell. I am so not amused.

And I feel icky. I have a sore throat, runny nose, and have been sneezing like crazy. Looks like I caught a cold from all the stress.

Jane Austen Heroines Quiz

Take the Quiz here!

:: L I Z Z Y ::

You are Elizabeth Bennet of Pride & Prejudice! You are intelligent, witty, and tremendously attractive. You have a good head on your shoulders, and oftentimes find yourself the lone beacon of reason in a sea of silliness. You take great pleasure in many things. You are proficient in nearly all of them, though you will never own it. Lest you seem too perfect, you have a tendency toward prejudgement that serves you very ill indeed.

---

That totally doesn't fit me.

Cruise Blues, take 2

Ok, I have an appointment at the passport agency in San Francisco. But since even a really expidited passport takes 3 days, and I am leaving the morning of day 3, I doubt it will help.

The people at church prayed for me because I knew there was an old expired California ID in my closet. It might help to have that. Anyway, they prayed God would float it to the top of wherever it was hiding, like He did with the ax head in the Old Testament, and I went searching for it this afternoon. I found it! My social security card was with it, too, and a second certified copy of my birth certificate. My plan is to try to pass off the ID as a current ID; if someone catches it, I'll produce the receipt from the DVM. I know this will work at the airport because I did it last year (out of 4 total flights, only 1 person caught that it was expired and with the receipt they allowed me through). So pray that this will work and I'll be able to get on the ship!

Cruise Blues

The cruise is so shaky right now. Princess Cruises says I have to have a state issued ID card. Mine was stolen. I do have a photocopy of that card that 24 Hour Fitness made when I joined. They use the photocopy of it to identify me. I also have a school issued ID with my name and photo, and a certified birth certificate, and a receipt from the DVM saying that I applied for a new card.

They are still telling me it's not good enough for Princess. I bet it will be enough for the airlines. So now we are exploring getting an emergency passport. I had the photos taken today. I'll keep you all updated on what happens and whether the trip happens. Please pray for me.

Everything is so messed up now!

My first reaction was to want to binge on carbs. Somehow I held that off and decided that even with this bad news, I was going to the gym anyway. I was wearing lighter clothes than usual, but I was so happy to keep moving that small slider further and futher left and hit a new low - 151.75!

That motivated me to stick to my diet, and at the gym I did an hour on the cross training eliptical thingy. Then I did some sit-ups, and then jumped in the whirlpool. Finally I showered at the gym before heading home. I had dinner and am now working on my food journal.

Milestones

Today marks 15 months since I began working out and trying to lose weight. Woohoo! Go me! :)

Well, tomorrow I go back to the gym for the first time since the race. I know I'm going to weigh more. Bleh. I try so hard to lose weight. I hate seeing the scale climb and climb, but it always does.

I worked a half day Monday and Tuesday, and today is my first full shift since the race. I tried to get my ID card replaced on Monday, but surprize! that was the one Monday a month they are closed. Lucky me. So I had to go back again on Tuesday. A new ID card is now in the works.

At least I got my BART and bus tickets replaced Monday, and cashed a check from my Dad as well as my federal refund check, which I used to buy groceries. Tuesday I stopped at the store on my way home from the DMV and bought a bunch of different kinds of cat food. I had some coupons I wanted to use, and I saw a bag on Purina Indoor Formula which they love and I like to buy as a treat. I fed them the Whiskas last night and discovered they really like it. The ingredients are pretty horrible (corn meal is the first ingredient), but the cats love the taste. I try to give my babies mostly Eukanuba because I think it's the highest quality food on the market. Their coats seem softer when they are on it. However, I think they also like variety, so I feed them other foods sometimes.

I hope I can fly come next week. I managed (and it was a true miracle I found it) to find an old college ID card from 10 years ago that has my name and picture. I hope that the college ID along with the receipt from the DMV will get me through security. I can't find the spare ID I used last year, which was an expired California ID. I looked everywhere I could think to in my closet, but came up empty. I will not lose the college ID, too!

My pictures from the race are on Sport Photo, but will only be up for a limited time. To view them go here and enter bib number 4789.

Victory!, take 2

I am soooo sore today. I can deal with my legs and back, but my left shoulder has a kink and I can't turn my head very far. I hope it goes away.

I have to go out to the DMV, which is about a mile walk each way since no bus goes down that street. *sigh* Not looking forward to that, but it has to be done. I guess the excercise will be good for me, though.

Other than the extreme soreness I feel pretty good. I think I need to add more carbs to my diet. I like having that kind of energy.

Oh yeah, when I went to pick up my t-shirt yesterday, it felt so good to ask for a medium instead of a large. :)

Victory!

Ok, I have good news and bad news about the race I ran today. Which would you like first? Ok, the bad news it is then.

I had my ID card (I don't have a driver's liscense), my credit card (already cancelled it), and my bus and BART passes either lost or (more likely) stolen. I'm mostly upset about the BART pass. There was $55 of train fare on it. I'm soooo not happy about this.

Now for the good news.

I made my goals! I ran all the way to the bottom of the Hayes Street Hill - just over 2 miles in - before slowing to a walk. My other goal was to beat my previous time of about 1:37 to finish and I did come in at about 1:37:05. Well, my actual time. My real time was much more because it took me 10 minutes to get across the start line. Whoever was planning this event did it rotten.

At any rate, I made both my goals. I think I ran MOST of the 7.5 miles (12k). :) Don't know how I can improve on that.

The carb loading yesterday (and carbohydrate gel packs today) REALLY helped. I could feel a big difference over last year. I had sooo much energy. I binged on pizza yesterday. This morning I had a slice of leftover pizza for breakfast with my coffee. I took some off brand Gatorade to the race with me for the carbs, then had a carb gel pack a 1/2 hour before the race, like the pack said to do. I had the second one around mile 3. I could have used a third, lol.

At Footstock a dairy was giving away single servings of chocolate milk, so I had that. Then I got my t-shirt and headed to a bus to start home.

So I'm upset about the lost passes that were worth so much. A new ID card will cost $20. But I am pleased about how well I did. I didn't think I had it in me. :-)

Abby's found!

I called to her as I walked home from the bus and after four days of silence I got a response meow. It took me about a half hour to get her up the stairs (I think between my calling her and her meows, we probably woke half the people in the building), but I finally helped her navigate the building back to our apartment. So she's home. Thank God! I am never letting her outside again!!! Argh! Her and Xena are now getting reaquainted, and she's been stuffing her face with tons of both wet and dry food.

Thank You God!

Up about a pound and a half today, but I expected that. I lose water weight from my period and then gain most of it back. Tomorrow will be my last workout before the race so I'm thinking I should do the treadmill. Today I did 30 minutes on the stairmaster. I was dripping sweat all over the floor.

Once again my pants are looser and my weight is up. I can't wait for my pants to seem tighter again because my weight is always down then! I'll be into those goal size 8s very soon!

I have zippo in my checking account, but I had $27 in cash and used it to buy basics that I'm about to run out of - bread, lunchmeat, cheese, and wine. Yes, I do consider wine a basic, lol! I also bought no carb salad dressing and a sugar free energy drink. I think these sugar free ones are best - there's no blood sugar crash after the sugar rush.

I'll be binging this Saturday before the race. That means I can eat anything I want at the lunch potluck, and for dinner I'm thinking I'll order out PIZZA. Lots of carbs in regular pizza. I still have to buy Gatoraid to take to the race with me. Best hydrating stuff for massive physical activity.

Wish me luck that day and that I can run for a long ways before I have to slow to a walk.

I obviously won't be weighing myself for a couple days after the race - carbs make me retain water. I'm usually sore for three days afterward anyway, so I can't imagine that I'd even be thinking about the gym until at least Wednesday.

Do you take too many online quizzes?

Your Score: 70 / 310

YOUR SCORE
22.6%
70.0 points out of 310

AVG SCORE
44.0%
136.5 points out of 310

31907 have taken this test so far.
27944 people have scored higher than you.
2977 people have scored lower than you.
986 people made the same grade as you.

What does this mean?
70 points is in the 21 through 50 percent range

Everyone taking this test has a problem with online quizzes, but your problem isn't nearly as bad as it could be. You take more tests than you should, but it doesn't interrupt your life, at least not as much as the rest of your online habits probably do.

How did you do?

World's Smallest Political Quiz

ACCORDING TO YOUR ANSWERS,
The political description that fits you best is...

CENTRIST

CENTRISTS espouse a "middle ground" regarding government
control of the economy and personal behavior. Depending on
the issue, they sometimes favor government intervention
and sometimes support individual freedom of choice.
Centrists pride themselves on keeping an open mind,
tend to oppose "political extremes," and emphasize what
they describe as "practical" solutions to problems.

The RED DOT on the Chart shows where you fit on the political map.


Your PERSONAL issues Score is 40%.
Your ECONOMIC issues Score is 30%.
(Please note: Scores falling on the Centrist border are counted as Centrist.)

Well, that puts paid to Magnum's contention that I'm an ultra-conservative right-wing Republican, lol. Every political test I take puts me in a politically moderate catagory.

What's your score?

Bay To Breakers

Well, the big race is Sunday! I'm going to carb up the night before - low carb doesn't work when you have a 7.5 mile race ahead of you! Here goes (I hope) something! In the meantime, you can check out the pictures from 2003 and 2004. I hope to do a similar photo journal this year.

Me last year:

Abby, take 2

Just a note that there has been no sight or sound of Abby. :( I fear I will never see her again. Xena is lonely and having to play with her toys because she doesn't have Abby to tackle. She seems really happy when I come home so that she has at least my companionship.

Books

Haven't been too hungry today. After I got to work I got bored and wrapped up in the book "Till We Have Faces" by C.S. Lewis. And I saw the story in a whole new light, like seeing through new eyes, and so I wept and wrote and tried to put it all into words. So eating since lunch fell by the wayside. Now that that's all over, I'm getting hungry, lol.

Now that that book is done I can get into Jon Krakauer's "Under the Banner of Heaven" about a guy who kills a couple people because he thinks God told him to.

After THAT I need to read (and some re-reading of) the Narnia series. There's 7 short books; I've read 5; I understood 3. Now I have a book that helps explain Lewis' metaphors, so I am ready to attack the series yet again.

I've taken to staying up late to do my Bible reading, sitting in bed with a flashlight. Saturday I spent nearly an hour at it, catching up on the readings I'd fallen behind on.

Guestmap & counter added

Been doing more updating and created a guestmap. Please take time to stick your pin in. The guestmap can be found in the left hand column. I also added a counter that is at the bottom of the left hand column.

Till We Have Faces

I wanted to finish the book since so much more reading is piling up. As it is I stay up late doing my Bible reading by flashlight. So I just finished the book. I read the last half in about 2 days. I should know better than to do that. Reading deep stuff so quickly always makes me cry.

I found myself crying at the end, because it was my story, my prayer. The whole story, as I guess Lewis intended, and Orual's final prayer. "Long did I hate you, long did I fear you." Oh God, that was so me! Now, 10+ years after reading this the first time, I understand. I understand so clearly. It moves me to tears (I am crying now). How could I have been so blind for so many years?

I had always thought of Ungit as somehow good. Gods have to be good, right? I never saw that she was a metaphor for all that was ugly and sinful in us - a profane love that was not really love.

It is odd to read this book through new eyes. We are Psyche. What that means I do not know. But reading this book a second time I see many of the layers I missed the first time. This is not like the Narnia series where the metaphors or often easy. This is a hard, deep book, meant for adults. I see many Christian metaphors I missed the first time because my head was with HER instead of Him. It's like how I used to read the Bible and it never made sense. Then, after I became a Christian, it became the most wonderful book and I began to study it with new eyes, and saw many things I'd overlooked before.

And still I feel I've missed so many nuances in the book. Things just beyond my ability to speak them. I had difficulty enough putting anything into words and scribbling notes in the book where I could form the words. Many things, I think, have double meanings. Lewis was a master with words. It has a meaning in the book, and another, deeper, Christian meaning.

All of this went over my head the first time. I didn't understand a tenth of what Lewis was trying to convey. I guess I did not have a face then; I was not ready to listen to the truth, both the truth about me, and the truth about God (there's that double meaning again!).

I could go on forever. There's not time nor space enough to write everything Lewis wove into this story. All I know is I thank God for showing me my life in these pages. That the girl who was first handed the book was Orual, not able to hear the truth, not yet ready for the answer that would unmake her, change her. I know I'm not perfect. I won't truly have a face until the day I die and stand before God. But every day I die a little and become more the woman God wants me to be. "Long did I hate you, long did I fear you." But no more. No more.

Headcovering

As many of you know, I wear a headcovering in accordance with 1 Corinthians 11.

Anyway, my new coverings came today. My old ones cover all of my now-much-shorter hair and make it hard to show off the blue/green color. So I ordered two small triangles (about 1/4 of the way down the page), one pink and one white, and just for the heck of it, a versangle to play around with (top of page). I got the white peachskin.

[Edit: Here's another post on headcovering.]

Abby

Abby's missing. I had the door open Saturday so she could get some fresh air and I took Xena out on the leash. Evidentally, Abby got out, and I shut the door thinking she was in. She didn't come back last night; there were no mournful meows. She's never been gone more than 24 hours before so now I am really worried that something has happened or that she wandered off and got lost or something. :(

Father, please watch over and protect her and bring her back to me safe and sound. Amen.

Here's a picture of her I took a while back:



Please come home, dear one.

Popular baby names

Ever wonder how popular your name was the year you were born? How about today? Or the breakdown by state? Or when it reached its height of popularity? The government's Popular Baby Names page can answer all of these questions.

For example, for the year I was born (1971), my name ranked #98 in popularity. The #1 name that year was Jennifer. "Victoria" hit it's popluar height in 1998 and 1999 in 16th place.

Abortion and Mother's Day

Think these two ideas are opposites? After all, abortion keeps a woman from becoming a mother. That's the whole idea. But, thanks to the National Organization for Women (NOW), these two ideas have been brought together in a beautiful Mother's Day bracelet bearing a charm reading "Keep Abortion Legal."

Is this more or less tasteless than the "Choice on Earth" Christmas cards they introduced a few years ago?

Well, I did only so-so today because it's Sabbath. I started the day with coffee with flavored creamer, 4 low carb cookies, several ounces of berries, and some cheese. For snack I had several small handfuls of peanuts and just a few cheese crackers.

Lunch was Jane's salad, a small piece of fake chicken, peas and carrots, and a bunch of Keto fake sweet potatoes (my offering). Unsweetened iced tea to drink with a packet of Splenda. While everyone else munched on small packets of candy during the DNA class, I had a low carb candy bar.

At home I had a ham and cheese sandwich on low carb bread and sipped a couple glasses of wine over the course of the evening.

I took down the recycling, rinsed out the fishtank (2 gallons with just one fish), and prepared tomorrow's lunch for work - Dreamfield's pasta, chicken, veggies, and some Alfredo sauce. Also a ham and cheese sandwich (low carb bread), yogurt, and strawberries.

Before bed I had some low carb/low fat ice cream, and after this something else I don't recall at the moment.)

National Day of Prayer Prayer

Here's the prayer the Presidential Prayer Team suggested praying on the National Day of Prayer. They said to pray it at noon Eastern time, wherever you are. Well, those who know me know that I am usually barely awake at that time, and on this day, I was still fast asleep. So I just prayed it at noon my local time.

PRAYER FOR THE NATION
Written by Max Lucado

Dear God,

Not to us, O Lord, but to You goes all the glory.

We depend on you. You give birth and breath and determine our days. You make every nation and set every boundary. We exist by your power.

We exist for your glory. Showcase your power through this land. Display your justice in our courts, wisdom in our governments, guidance in our schools and love in our homes.

Have mercy upon our sins. We have disrespected Your word, disregarded your gifts, discarded your children. We are sorry. Forgive us, dear Father.

Grant strength to all our leaders. May they serve you first and honor you most. Remind us of the brevity of this life and the beauty of the next. Prepare our souls for the day we meet You in eternity.

This we pray in your holy name,

Amen

More Overtime Ahead, and Slowly Losing Weight

Have more overtime this week - Sunday and Monday I'm doing 12 hours. Yea for the money; blah for my energy level. Got in only 2 workouts this last week. Still, it was my one week a month that I lose weight, and I did hit a new low. Yea!!!

Here's my new ticker. I'll bounce up next week; let's just hope I don't bounce as high as I did last month.



I also made a ticket that will change over time, to track how long since I began this weight loss journey.



I'm making slow but sure progress! :)

National Day of Prayer

Today is not just Cinco de Mayo - Mexican independance, but also the National Day of Prayer, which happens the first Thursday of May. I urge you to pray for our country, our leaders (national/state/local), and our world. And especially you the safety of all our troops serving overseas. However you feel about the war, these men and women need our prayers for safety. More later when I have time.

Marine cleared in mosque shootings probe

A Marine corporal who was videotaped shooting an apparently injured and unarmed Iraqi in a Fallujah mosque last year will not face court-martial, the Marine Corps announced Wednesday.

---

I must say I am glad to hear this. I saw the video, and given the circumstances, this man made the decision to protect his life and the lives of his comrades, as well as the civiliar cameraman from NBC. The insergents could have easily hidden weapons under their clothes and figured, "We're going to die anyway; let's take some Americans with us."

Sorry folks, but as sad as any death is, this one was justified.

Books

So let's see. Forgot to take my meds and B vitamin this morning. I had a 16 oz. Rock Star and that helped perk me up and has the B vitamins that I've discovered my body craves.

Stopped at the bookstore to use the restroom (because of the drink, lol) and buy the book Under the Banner of Heaven about a couple guys that kill a couple people because God told them to. True story out of Mormon country by John Krakauer.

Still reading Till We Have Faces by C.S. Lewis, and trying to keep up on my Bible reading and in the DNA class at church. Also, The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe is coming out as a live action movie in December. It's currently in post-production. I am sooo much like Edmund so I need to get my butt in gear and read the whole series. So far I've read only five of the books and only understood the Christian themes in three. Now I have a book that explains the themes and I need to reread the series with that book in hand. So I have enough reading to last a very long time, lol.

Narnia Quiz, take 2

Our dear sweet Brian at CHR said the following. It was too good not to share and shows that I'm more like Edmund than I might think:

From: Pendell1 4:12 am
To: Stumbling To Bethlehem (Newbirth) (9 of 16)

Hmm .. Edmund bound himself to an evil goddess and from her partook of forbidden things that his friends never did.

Later, he repented, and She demanded his life of him. He was saved because Aslan sacrificed himself to save him, releasing him from his bondage to Her.

He later proved instrumental in Her defeat at the battle of the Fords of Bruinen, because he had the sense to smash her WAND, taking away her ability to turn people into stone, although he was grievously wounded in the process. He grew up to become a grave and thoughtful man, made deeper by his repentence then before.

Of course this bears no resemblence to you at all :).

Narnia quiz!

As Edmund, while you may be quick to lose your temper or appear unfriendly, you are known for doing the right thing in the end.

[Update: Brian interprets this quiz for me. He's so right on that it gives me shivers.]

New poll feature!

I added a poll to the sidebar today and made up several polls that should rotate. Everyone can vote once in each poll.

Enjoy! :)

What Kind of American English do you speak?

Your Linguistic Profile:

60% General American English

20% Upper Midwestern

10% Yankee

5% Dixie

0% Midwestern

What Kind of American English Do You Speak?

Happy birthday to me

Woohoo. I'll be nine tomorrow. No, not physically. ;) Physically I'm 34 and my b-day is in January. I'll be nine spiritually. Nine years since I crossed that line and decided to follow the God I find in the Bible rather than the goddess in the Craft. It seems like just yesterday that Charles was nine and I was the baby Christian being helped out. Now I'm older and wiser. I can't get away with the childish games I used the pull.

God expects more as you get older, just as any reasonable parent expects more from their child every year...from walking and talking to basic math to algebra, and all the way up to going to college. Sometimes I don't like getting older precisely for this reason - I don't WANT more responsibility.

Ahhhhh...it ain't all roses.

I'm just tired today due to the 12 hour shift I'm working. Don't mind me.

What Color is Your Heart?

The pictures at Quizzila appear to be down right now; hopefully they'll be back up later.

For now, I give you this:


Your Heart is Blue

What Color is Your Heart?
brought to you by Quizilla

Overtime

All this overtime has shot my workout program to hell. I was told today that they want me back in at 11 a.m. tomorrow to work until 11 p.m. Cool. I need the money. But that means that tomorrow's errands will have to be moved to Wednesday, my next free day, so I won't be able to work out that day. There goes one workout session.

God help me. I love the money, but I'm not getting as much excercise and I'm tired from getting up so dang early. I have to get up at 8:30, which to me is like 6 a.m. to you...way too early.

More gains

Well, I gained 1/4 pound over the weekend so I am 155.5 today, and that was with fewer clothes on that usual, so I was probably more. My low last month was 154.1 so for the first time ever I didn't make my goal of starting TOM at my old low weight. :( I lost only 2.3 pounds all last month. I am terrible. I am sticking to my diet. I think I need to lower my calories more.

Swam for over an hour. A guy struck up a conversation with me so we chatted and swam laps back and forth. It made the time go fast. I was just shooting for 1 hour of swimming and I did 1:10. I was actually starting to get chilled. The "warm" pool wasn't warm anymore. I was downright cold! Jumped into the whirlpool, although it wasn't as hot as it needed to be.

No trouble with TOM while swimming since this is day 1, but sure did start as soon as I got out!

Looks like I'll only make it to the gym twice this week. I got called in for overtime tomorrow. Then Tuesday I have an appointment, and Wednesday I have to check my mail (I was supposed to do it tomorrow). Thursday I can go to the gym and that's it. Friday's my day off and I prefer to stay home if possible. We'll see. Since TOM will be winding up I might go just to see the scale drop. LOL

I feel like I'll never make my goal losing 2 pounds on a good month, down from 3. Pretty soon I'll be lucky to lose a pound in a month.

Beltane

Breathe, Victoria, breathe. It will soon be over.

Okay, here it is Sabbath afternoon, April 30th, and I sit down to plan out tomorrow's menu so I can stay within my alloted calories and carbs. I click the April 30th link to go forrward and think, "What day's tomorrow? Is there an April 31st, or is it May 1st?" It only takes a moment before I think, "It's May 1st. Ack! Beltane! May 1st!"

Ok, what else is tomorrow? What else can I think about? Well, it's Easter Sunday for the Orthodox Church. It's the end of Passover for the Jews.

But I'm thinking about the Morris Dancers that will be in the park tomorrow to dance the sun up. I think about how I won't be there. And my heart is filled with sadness. I have not been in 9 years, and my heart still longs for that.

Pray for me. It will soon be over. And then my spiritual birthday is May 3. I just want to survive it without having to resort to my Xanex, althought that is what it's there for.

Besides Halloween, this is the hardest time of the year for me.

Movies - Hitchhiker's Guide

Went to the movies. Got a small popcorn, small diet Coke, and sugar free Russel Stover Pecan Delites. Yes, they have something low carbers can eat! :) Movie was good. Saw Hitchhiker's Guide. I'll go back again when Star Wars comes out.

I walked the last mile or so home. It's been faster than the bus both times I've done this and requires only one bus home instead of two. So that was my excercise for the day.

I'm a little sore from all the excercise I did yesterday. Just a little. Didn't even realize it until I tried to stretch my legs during the movie.

Adding old entries

I decided to take some of the better posts from my home blog and put them here. So expect to see more archives soon. :)

Scales, Weight, and Energy

Both of the scales at the gym were off today, so it was hard to get a correct reading. They both said 155.25, though I suspect I'm still 155. And TOM is here, so I didn't make my post-TOM low before starting again. :...(

I'm am SOOO tired and have no clue why. I took my B-vitamin. I did a lot of easy exercise today. I'm going to add some extra carbs in the form of an apple to get my energy up a bit.

Exercise - walking 30 minutes at 3.5 mph, 15 min. on the elliptical, 25 min. of light weights, and then 20 min. at 3.0 mph.

Lost only 2.5 pounds this whole month. :(

Planned Parenthood

Seems that Planned Parenthood is up in arms over a decision by Focus on the Family to use $4 million in private money (NOT public funds as PP uses) to buy ultrasound machines for some Crisis Pregnancy Centers. I'm not sure why they are complaining. PP says, "For women with unintended or unwanted pregnancies, these machines represent missed or messed up priorities. Not the women's, but ours." Messed up priorities? In what way? Is PP afraid of a live birth of an unintended child? Gee, my sister was unintended. Maybe she should have been aborted.

Planned Parenthood gets more than $265 million in taxpayer money every year to fund their programs, and they are complaining that FOTF is spending $4 in private funds to help CPCs?!? What am I missing here?

In case you are wondering about people being trained to operate these machine, FOTF is also providing that out of the $4 million. From what I'm told many CPCs have machines but no one trained to operate them. This will bridge that gap.

How did I hear about all this? Well, quite frankly only because PP kicked up a ruckus. I don't usually listen to FOTF, so it's likely that if PP would have stayed silent, I never would have known. But because they did, a woman named Dawn blogged about it (April 26 entry). In it she links to an article from PP describing the outrage of these machines in CPCs. (FOTF calls them PRCs - Pregnancy Resource Centers. I use the old CPC name because that's the way I learned it.)

I've decided that in honor of PP raising a stink about this that I will donate to FOTF. I never have before, but because PP did this and I heard about it thanks to them, I will do something I wouldn't otherwise do. Take that, PP.

Links:
Ultrasound Machines Placed
Option Ultrasound Update

Going to the movies

Ok, Hitchhiker's Guide opens on Friday. They have a digital show at 1:30, and regular film at 2:30. Since there is no way on God's green earth that I can make it to the theatre by 1:30, I'll go for the 2:30 show. Of course, this means popcorn, so I won't be counting calories or carbs on Friday, and I can't on Saturday. I'll just try to be good until I can go back to counting on Sunday again. Popcorn is my guilty pleasure that I get whenever I go to the movies.

After Hitchhiker's Guide I will see Star Wars, and then, who knows? I'm not big into going to the movies. I prefer to stay at home and watch TV. So I will gain over the weekend. I'll just try to be real good other than the popcorn and not go off the deep end.

Down to 155 today, only 1 pound above my post-period low last month. Now the key is to stay on plan as much as possible, and get down to 154.1 by the time TOM comes for another visit.

I was 155.25 on the main floor scale, but the scale in the woman's bathroom looked more balanced, and that one told me 155 so that's what I'm going by.

Catholic Bashing, take 3

Seems they can't handle the truth, so they use their mod powers to lash out. Mods like this are my biggest pet peeve.

Let's see. How can I capsulize this so as not to quote the private material he sent. I think linking to the threads in the other post is more than enough to show how unchristlike these people are.

In a private message to me, Jason first quoted me saying, "You know what they say about assuming... Or do you?" He then basically said yes, and that he'd sent me a warning for saying this. He told me to "dull that sharp tongue of yours."

I then recived a form e-mail where the moderator just has to fill in the necessary information. First that my account has received a warning, and that if I receive more than 3 warning they will lock me out. There are many ways to receive a warning, but mine is because of this post: http://fresh-hope.com/forums/viewtopic.php?p=322548#322548.

He then "kindly" asks me to obey the rules. The rule I broke?

You agree not to post any abusive, obscene, vulgar, slanderous, hateful, threatening,sexually-orientated or any other material that may violate any applicable laws. Doing so may lead to you being immediately and permanently banned" If you don't see why you've recived this warning you could try contact (name deleted), who gave the warning, explaining your post, and that you don't understand why this warning is given.

It totally eludes their ability to understand that they apply these rules selectively. They and other Catholic bashers can do anything they want, but God forbid someone try to stand up to them. Only those people get warning. I guess I will take my warning as a badge of honor. :)

At any rate, my post was sexually explicit?! Good Lord. They need help.

Oh well. Reminds me why I left. Maybe this time I'll learn my lesson and not come back again. [bangs head against wall]

Catholic Bashing, take 2

The forum was down earlier so I couldn't post link here. Now it's back up. Here's the threads on the Fresh Hope forum where the bashing is going on. As you can see, the moderators themselves are encouraging the bashers. Reminds me why I hardly ever visit the forum anymore. :(

Who has the authority to condemn?
and
Off topic

Yippee!

I got through the 12 hours shifts without going over my new lower calorie goal. It meant going hungry a lot but I'm so proud of me that I stayed within my limits.

Today it's back to my regular 8 hours shifts so it should be easier to stay in my limits. Stopped at the store and bought frozen veggies and fresh berries. I have no way to measure the veggies at work, but the raspberries came in a 6 oz. container, so I just ate the whole thing. Wowsers! Very few carbs! It was mostly fiber. Tomorrow I'll add the veggies back into my diet again.

Haven't weighed myself in 5 days because I haven't made it to the gym in 5 days. I need my "scale fix," lol. I swear I felt skinnier this morning, but we'll see tomorrow. Everytime my jeans are looser I show no loss. Then my jeans will get tighter again and I'll lose weight. My body hates me! I want out of these size 10s so bad!

I was bad Saturday but I've been really good since then, food-wise at least. I've been a good girl. I want to see a loss!

Might only make it to the gym twice this week. Oh well. No biggie if I don't get the third day in.

Catholic Bashing

What is it with people on forums who are so set in the mindset of "me, my four, and no more" that they have to go around saying that God is angry at Catholics for (fill in the blank) practice, and Catholics aren't saved? Of course, this person feels they have been appointed by God to save Catholics by bringing them the "Good News."

I'm sick of it. I have a friend who's a Catholic and have every reason to believe she's saved. I do not feel a need to preach to her about the evils of Catholicism to bring her into the truth of Protestantism. Do you see the crazy logic there? When she was intent on joining the Church I tried to support her, for two reasons. 1) She's strong willed and would join whether or not I supported her, so why should I hinder her? and 2) others were trying to hinder her by talking her out of it and I figured support would be welcome. I know how frustrating it was for me when I decided to keep the Sabbath, and how many people worried about me.

I'm not Catholic and have many problems with the Church's teachings. However, we agree on most of the main points of Christian doctrine, such as the Nicene Creed. They are my brothers and sisters in Christ. Why spend time trying to evangelize them (and in the most annoying ways possible) when there are so many unsaved people out there who have never met Jesus?

Unclear on the concept...

What is it with people "doing Atkins" who've never read the book and have no clue how to do the diet? True story, from the Weight Loss forum:

K there is this lady at work who is making my head spin. She is "on Atkins" and yet every break I cringe. I mean I am the first to say GREAT to those on Atkins comitting to it but if you are "on" a diet you aren't even adhering to then what's the point!!!???

She will order her special Atkins burger just a plain double cheeseburger no bun. Fine great. Then say "and a small banana shake small fry and gimme one of those chocolate brownies." THEN she says "I better watch out I only get 30 carbs a day." I assume she thinks noone is familiar with the program. I just smile and cash her out but inside I want to scream. She is WAY over her carbs for the day on just the shake right??? Argh....

Then she complains about how she isn't losing any weight.

---

Does this woman truly not know what a carbohydrate is? Is buying a paperback book and reading it too much trouble?

I also hear stuff over and over about how unhealthy Atkins is...the high fat will clog your arteries and send your cholesterol through the roof. It doesn't matter to them that every single study that's done supports Dr. Atkins' contention that his diet lowers cholesterol. At last check my cholesterol was 151, LDL 98, and HDL 45. My triglicerides were a rock bottom 38. Hmmm, maybe fat isn't the problem.

Here's some common myths about Atkins.

Tired

After the 12 hour shift yesterday, and another one today, there's no way I'm going to be able to drag myself out of bed to get to the gym tomorrow. Besides, I need to go shopping. My only fiber for the past few days has been strawberries, and today I'm even out of them. I need to buy frozen veggies. I also need Dreamfield's pasta, and more lunchmeat. I'm going through a sandwich phase right now - ham and turkey.

How we are linked

The lady who posted to my guestbook, Cindy, wrote me back. She found me by typing "ExWitch" into a search engine, and the second entry down is Andrew's blog with this entry. The part about me is at the end and reads thus:

"Victoria Shephard, a former wiccan whose conversion to Christianity is documented briefly in my book E-vangelism (and more thoroughly documented online, was working with exWitch Ministries at one time. But she's no longer listed on the staff."

I dropped him a quick note back explaining that, no, I'm not on staff anymore. I haven't talked to him in ages. I hope he writes me back.

12 Hour shifts are a killer

These 12 hour shifts are killing me. Jay quit, so while Jon looks for someone new, the rest of us are picking up the slack to get Jay's shifts covered. That meant that Lisa and I have been trading off 12 hour shifts for the last two days.

Not that I can complain. Overtime around here is very rare, and I really need it.

I think I'll skip the gym tomorrow. I'm just too tired. Plus I really
need to go to the store tomorrow. I am out of frozen veggies and fresh fruit. So I get none until I run to the store.

I just got the oddest guest book entry

I just got the strangest entry in my guest book. Considering how hard I tried to remove any mention of me from the site (excepting the forum), how did she find me through them?

In response to the question, "How did you find this Website?" Cindy writes, "From an article hailing exwitch.org." She explains a bit more further down, but still leaves lots of unanswered questions:

"This site is wonderful. I followed a link to a Delphi forum where you are some sort of a Sabbathkeeper. Perhaps I should read more there instead of asking you here. You seem to be very solid regarding your faith in Jesus Christ rather than Christianity the religion. I like that. God bless you Victoria"

I wonder if I should mail her back.

Sister & finace have a Web site

It's for their wedding.

www.renatoandapril.com

Here We Go!

My first post here. Having to update my blog from home was getting cumbersome and, timewise, harder and harder. It's hard to find the time to write and upload entries when it's late and you have to be up at a reasonable hour. And truthfully, since I started working out, I've had to get up earlier and earlier to make it to the gym before work. Being able to add entries from any computer should give me a better chance of updating this a little more regularly.

So I'll try to make this blog work and see if if I do any better. This one allows people to leave comments, which is cool, but setting it up was a pain. God (literally!) only knows how many hours I've been working on this tonight.

I hope I have the Links list set up correctly. The weather pixie at the bottom should change with the temperature, day/night, and moon phase. I'll continue changing and updating the links as ideas come.

Here's the link to my old blog, which will remain up.

And here's my current weight loss ticker:

I only did so-so. Fridays are hard because I'm home more and there's so much food. It's all "legal," but high in calories. I managed to stop at 2113 calories and 74 carbs.

Saturday I did horrible. I've got to get my eating under control! Started off the day with some cookies. Had a couple handfuls of Cheese-It's at church - I love Cheese-It's. For lunch I had Cesaer salad, heavy on the dressing, picked out the croutons. Also veggies and dip.

Dinner was a special meal at Jane's house. First we did communion and then Doug did a presentation about Passover and how it relates to us today as Christians. Then we had dinner - chicken and rice. I only had chicken, but I ate whatever rice was stuck to the chicken. I also had some of Jane's salad with the apple slices. I had one piece of unleavened almond bread because it was Passover - unleavened bread just seemed right.

For dessert I gave in and had one small piece of chocolate cake (so moist!) with chocolate mint frosting. Jane told Eric's wife about how good I've done on my diet. :) After the cake I had two servings of strawberries with Cool Whip. Then some of us watched a video about how violent rock and roll lyrics inspire teens to commit crimes. Anita drove me home and I walked in the door about 10.

The bad eating continued. I had a PB&J sandwich, two kinds of ice cream, some cookies, and a glass of wine.

Gosh, it looks horrible when I write it all out! I have got to get my eating under control and stop using my "cheat" day as a time to go hog wild.

Fat Pig :-p

Dr. appointment

Ok, let's see. Had the doctor's appointment today. I've lost 8 pounds since my last appointment 3 months ago. :-p Bleh. The doctor confirmed I had a medium bone sturcture. He's not concerned about my weight because 10 pounds overweight (I'm a little more than that, but not by much) is nothing. Blood pressure was 100/60.

I asked for Ativan to take "as needed" for anxiety. He gave me a 'script for Xanax instead. I can't get it in Canada, but it is fairly cheap here in the US. He gave me the 0.25mg (lowest dose) kind. 30 pills, with one refill. I'm sure that will be plenty unless I end up having to take more than one pill at a time. There are just those really bad days when I could use something. It's not something I'll take every day.

And my doctor told me he's leaving in July. I have an appointment to see him one last time the end of June. Why do all the good doctors leave? He's moving south to work for Kaiser. Now I have to find a new doc.

My appointment today included an ear cleaning, so it was nearly $200 total! :-p

I told him that it's been almost a year since my last cholesterol test and that I wanted to get a paper to have it done the next time I saw him. He said that he'd give me the paper now, I could have it done shortly before my next appointment, and then we could discuss at that appointment. He wrote me down for a complete metabolic panel and cholesterol.

I meant to ask him about the diet pills, but forgot to take the bottle with me.

Decided to skip the gym this morning. I was just toooooo tired when my alarm went off at 9. I shut it off, checked my calendar to make sure I didn't have any errands to run, and went back to bed. I slept until about 11:30. I still feel kinda tired and blah.

Today I had an Advantage bar for breakfast, some ground beef (plain) for lunch, and I also packed a turkey sandwich on low carb bread, and the rest of the strawberries (YUM!). I'll have a LifeChoice dinner later tonight for dinner.

I stopped at Walgreens on my way to work and broke down and bought some diet pills - Hydroxyless, with the two "S"s as dollar signs. I assume it's the off brand of Hydroxycut. It's supposed to help control appetite. We'll see if it helps. I'm kinda of desperate as my weight loss has stopped. It said on the back not to take it if you're on an MAOI. Nothing new there - MAOIs have TONS of dietary restrictions, and some of them are deadly serious (literally). But it also said not to take it if you are on an SSRI - which I am. However, I figured it probably wouldn't kill me since I have taken diet pills before with no problem. I'm not looking for a quick fix, just a kick start to my diet and excercise routine.

Have a dr. appointment tomorrow. It's just my regular med check up and I also asked them to irragate my ears since the wax can really build up and needs to be cleaned out every year or two. It's only a little painful.

Why Bother?

Been trying to reset and reassess my fitness and weight goals (not necessarily in that order). First it was 170, just lose the Zoloft weight. When I saw I could actually do that, I went for 159. Then I reset it again for 150. Then I reset it for 140 (for about 2 days, lol). Today it's 145. I wish I could pick a goal and stick with it!

Today I'm tired and a bit cranky. I did the pedal-type stairmaster for 20 minutes, then swam laps for an hour. Bleh.

I'm so tired I'm trying to remember why I want to lose any more weight. I'm already at the lowest weight of my adult life. So what if I'm still 12 pounds overweight? I'll obviously never lose it. Bleh. Too tired to think rationally.

I can't even remember why I believe in God right now, much less Christianity. Curse City Church! Why did they have to move their services so early? I work second shift. I don't *do* 7 a.m. 7 a.m. is the middle of the night for me. So why do I even think something is even out there? God (ha!) only knows. Surfed Christian Web sites and just found myself thinking, "Why do I believe in Jesus when I have only the Bible to look at? Why believe any of it? How can a rational adult believe an old book?" Like I said, I'm too tired to think rationally. I'm sure it will all look perfectly rational and right tomorrow.

And how can He demand such a high standard from me? Why does He demand it from me, but not anybody else? I just got to thinking about the DNA book my church is doing and thinking, "Ok, God wants me to learn all this, and put it to use, but since the principles only work to heal relationships when BOTH parties are willing to change, how the heck am I supposed to have any decent relationship if I'm expected to act the way the book says when the other people can act any way they want?!? It's an unfair high standard! Why can't I just be a baby Christian again? It's not fair! It's like I have to take all the abuse and God won't let me retaliate. It sucks.

And what kind of Bible verses come to mind or that I find when I'm reading? Bleh. The one about "Vengeance is mine." And in today's reading I came across the the part in 2 Corinthians about forgiving and accepting an erring brother (or sister). Last night I read Job and came across a whole passage where Job wishes he had died while still in the womb. I underlined it because that is so me.

I've been doing A LOT of thinking lately due to the above and also touched off by my upcoming 10th spiritual birthday, now only about 2 weeks off. This is BIG. I'm going into double digits and one whole decade of following Him. I've often felt like I'm not as far along as I should be. It was easy as a baby. I was ignorant and getting used to a new parent. I could act like the infant I was and God was as gentle with me as a baby needs gentleness.

But each year the challenges get harder. Occationally a BIG challenge comes along and God has to help me to just keep my faith and keep walking forward. But it's true that "That which does not kill me makes me stronger." With each close call my faith has grown. First because it forces me to study the facts behind my faith, and second because God can show His power in the face of all other things out there.

And yet today I can't even remember why I believe in Him at all. LOL! What a sorry specimen I am!

I'm just tired. Too tired to care about my weight loss or about God and the wonders He supposedly still does. Just too tired.

Potluck craziness

I did really bad food-wise yesterday. There were very limited food choices at the potluck. I finally caved and decided to have some of the soup. I figured I could pick the potatoes out. Wrong! The soup had been slow cooked for so long that the potatoes were completely disolved. God only knows how much starch was in there.

I'm up 2.75 pounds today. :(

I had some Cheese-It's - they are one thing I really miss on this diet so I let myself have some on Saturday during the snack time. There were no peanuts so I was reduced to picking out the peanuts and almonds from the trail mix. I had two bites of brownie, but only two bites, and one of those bites was the crumbs at the bottom of the bowl. I drank unsweetened iced tea and had some of Jane's salad (spinach with apples and cucumbers). Jane wasn't there this week so it was kind of a small salad.

I'm so tired today. I feel wretched. Too much excercise in a vain attempt to burn some frigging calories.

Gaining again - *sigh*

I gained over the weekend. I'm now up to 157.75, up from a low of 154.1. I just keep putting on more and more weight. It sucks. I did an hour and 20 minutes of excercise today to TRY to lose some weight or at least burn some calories. 20 minutes on the stairmaster, then 1 straight hour swimming laps in the pool. Bleh. Who knows or cares? I had a Subway salad for lunch - 400 calories including the dressing. A LifeChoice TV dinner would have had fewer calories and more protein, but I really wanted a salad.

Somebody out there hates me to allow me to keep gaining and gaining and gaining.

Weighty Matters

Weight loss is continuing, but slow. I set a new weight goal of 140. I have a medium bone structure, so 140 should be perfect.

Swimming is my newest favorite sport and makes avoiding church that much easier. I still go Saturday to my home church - always will - but hardly go to City Church at all anymore. Instead I go swimming at the Bayfair 24 Hour Fitness because they have a lap pool. Last week I went twice.

Last week the chlorine in the pool ruined my ponytail sticking out of my swimcap. I had to have my hair chopped, but it was the right decision. It looks real cute now and I have gotten compliments when I never got them before.

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention here, I bleached my hair a couple weeks ago and then dyed it blue. :) It's already faded to green, so I'll have to redo it again soon.

Ok, I gotta hit the sack so I can go swimming tomorrow before work. Nighty!

Popcorn, take 2

Well, I felt like a piggy wiggy for eating the popcorn today, so I decided to go swimming for an hour to work off those carbs. :) I came home and had a turkey sandwich on low carb bread. 13 more carbs right there. *sigh*

I weighed myself both before and after I swam. I weighed more after swimming than before. How weird is that? At any rate, I'm holding steady between 154.1 and 155. I'll get there.

Body Fat and Lean Mass

I just worked up my beginning body fat and lean pounds. Body fat start - 78.62 pounds. Lean mass start - 129.38 pounds.

Net body fat loss - 38.32 pounds.
Net lean mass loss - 14.68 pounds.
Total weight loss - 53 pounds.

I've managed to greatly slow my muscle loss by adding protein shakes, but I haven't yet completely stopped it.

Blue hair, take 6

The new me with short blue hair...

Blue hair, take 5

I think probably 12 inches were cut off.

I got a compliment after I cut it, and I never got one when it was long. I was wandering through Old Navy and a group of girls passed me and one commented that it was cool or she liked it or something. :) So I guess short blue hair "works." :)

Blue hair, take 4, and other stuff

Lesse. After having the chlorine in the pool water strip the blue from my hair, I decided to have it cut today. Everything that had stuck out of the cap looked just horrible. Light brown, light green, a couple streaks of blue still. And the ends looked all split and frizzed and it was just awful. Still, I winced when she cut off the entire ponytail before proceeding to more delicate work. I got to take the ponytail with me.

So now I have short blue hair down to about my chin. Should be easier to color now.

Did good eating yesterday except I had one too many glasses of wine. But I still came in way under on calories. Just wasn't hungry until it was nearly bedtime.

A box of low carb stuff I'd ordered came today, includuing the delicious Mini Carb chocolate bars with 12g of fat and no sugar alcohols. Also two boxes of low carb pizza crust mix, one box of chocolate coconut Advantage bars (on sale), 4 canisters of Keto pudding (on sale), Russell Stover chocolate covered peanuts, and a canister of white chocolate drink mix. Oh, and one peanut butter granola bar (Advantage). I've never tried it, though the gronola is not usually that filling, so I generally stay away from those.

At Old Navy I bought a pair of size 8 jeans, relaxed fit ($20!!!). Then I bought a shirt missing one shoulder (it cuts across the chest and goes under the right arm). I fit a medium in that! Then I had to buy a bikini top (they sell separates) to wear under the shirt. You won't catch me wearing that bikini top in public - it doesn't cover anything, especially with my huge chest! But I think it will make a nice top for lounging at home on hot summer days. My apartment is on the top floor and is unbearably hot in the summer. I don't know how the cats handle it.

Then I went to Walgreens and got tarnish remover for my ring (my ring tarnished when I swam with it). Also color retention shampoo and a thermal lunch box big enough for my big Glad bowl.

So I now have short hair. Pictures forthcoming at some point. I haven't have short hair in years.

Blue hair, take 3, and other stuff

Whew. Last week was the week from hell. By the time Friday afternoon rolled around I'd had it. I needed comfort food. I came all the way out to where I work for the burger joint next door. They forgot to put cheese on my burger - bleh. And all I'd had all day was a meal bar. So I was so huingry I virtually inhaled the food and didn't really enjoy it. Bleh again.

Then I went to Carrow's and had a glass of wine and a huge piece of the "Mile High" chocolate cake. I couldn't finish it all, so I took it home with me and ate it later that night, after warming it in the microwave - yum!

Saturday I did only so-so. I discovered last time corn dogs were served at the potluck that they are a weakness of mine. So I had one. Then I had some of Jane's salad with the apples and cranberries. I also brought along a turkey sandwich on low carb bread and ate that. I brought a low carb candy bar along for dessert while everyone else had little packets of Easter candy. I had two cups of iced tea (unsweetened and then I added Stevia) and one cup of water. Usually one cup of iced tea is enough, so I know it's the carb making me retain water.

At home I had some of the Keto dark chocolate ice cream. Not sure how much I had but not a lot. I also had a bag of microwave popcorn, a beer, and two glasses of wine (3 drinks total, spread out over the evening).

Today I'm back on track. My glycogen stores are full, so I had tons of energy. I went to the Bayfair 24 Hour fitness, did 20 minutes on the pedal type stairmaster, then slowly swam laps for a total of an hour, with some hot tubbing mixed in. It stripped the color from my hair! I'm so upset! Only the top of my head is blue anymore. :(

New low - 154.1!

I can't believe it! I've lost 3 pounds in 2 days (I always do right after my period), so my new post-period low is 154.1! I am only about 4 pounds away from my goal! So I'm thinking about 2 more months to get where I want to be. I'm down 2 pounds from yesterday. Yesterday I was 156. Today I am 154.1! I am so thrilled! I feel great! :)

After I reach my goal weight I need to eat more calories, more protein, and focus on weight training more. I'm still overfat even if I'm not overweight, so I need to work on that. :)

On the downside I can feel a binge coming on real soon. Not sure when I'll fail but it came on real strong yesterday and I know I can only hold it off so long. I usually gain 2-3 pounds of water weight that it takes me a week to lose.

On the up side I am now so low that I think I am safely out of the 160s even if I binge. :)

Gosh, I'm just so pleased! How can I love a diet so much that I can stick with it? And lose weight without starving myself on a low calorie diet?

Except for one day, my carbs have been under 50g a day, with one other day at 51g. I know I need more carbs for my gym workout. It's just so easy to keep them low and tempting because I know I retain less water when I lower the carbs. But I do need more carbs when I work out.

I'm pressing myself to run faster. I can now do 4.5 mph by loping, so I'm pushing myself to run at 5 mph. So far I can only do short distances. But the big race is only 5 weeks away! (Gosh, I hope I get my runner's packet soon.) Dangit, somehow I MUST complete the course in 1:36. I must. But in order to do that I have to be able to run 2 miles without stopping. My goal is to make it to the foot of the one major hill before slowing to a walk. The hill is just over 2 miles in and I've never quite made it, though I came close one year. (That was several years ago when I worked on my feet. I may have been 20 pounds overweight, but I was in excellent shape, and could run 2 miles without slowing to a walk. THAT is the record I want to break. I only race myself and no one else.)

Popcorn

This is not good. I ate a bag of popcorn for dinner tonight. My carbs are a bit high, but I fit them in - only 36 carbs in the entire bag. But the salt. I swear I will weigh more tomorrow. I checked my sodium in FitDay, though, and I'm actually under the max health amount today! Go figure! I almost always go WAY over. But the stupid popcorn is still making me thirsty and I just know I'll be up tomorrow due to water retention. I just can't handle the scale being so mean, but I'm too curious to stay away!

My fat was pretty good - over 100g so a little high but not a big deal. My carbs are in the 90g range - high even for me. And my protein is under 100g - way low.

Ah well.

The popcorn didn't even fill me up. That'll teach me to go around eating high carb stuff. I'm still hungry and I've eaten most of my calories today. When I get home I get my glass of wine and one cup of sugar free Jello. Then brush my teeth and go to bed.

Size medium!

This actually happened a while back, but it's still cool. I've always worn "large" bottoms because of my weight. Well, some people at church gave me a bag of clothes to look through, keep what I want, and give the rest to Goodwill. I found a darling long black skirt with huge red roses on it. It's a size medium and it fits perfectly! :) I can't remember the last time I wore a medium.

In tops I still wear large or extra large because my boobs aren't shrinking so things are always tight under the arms unless I get a larger size.

Blue hair, take 2

Well, the lighting leaves something to be desired - the black areas are shadows, not black hair, but anyway, here you go... :o)

Blue hair

Ok, bleaching my hair as I type, the first step before coloring it blue. I gave up trying to do strips. Too hard when it's just me. Maybe next time I color I can get the strips right. So I'm bleaching as much as I can. Then I will color as much as I can. Picutes will be forthcoming at some point.