Hi everyone. I'm still alive. I treasure your comments and read them via e-mail in my spare moments at home.
Brad was kind enough to share his cold with me so now we are both sick. His cold is now bronchitis and my cold is just a nice healthy cold. Up until today I have been able to do some walking in between rain showers and the fresh air did me some good. Today it has been a steady rain and not only am I feeling worse, but I had to take the bus to work because of the rain.
I haven't been sleeping well. I woke up at 6 am and was unable to get back to sleep.
As for work, I've taken as much time off as I can get with my cold. I got off two hours early on Monday and Tuesday, managed to get Wednesday off, and am working a half shift today. A big thanks to L. and S. for making that time off possible!
As for my boss, things are still in the works. Bill talked with me earlier this week and said he'll talk to boss J. today; we will see if that actually happens and what, of anything, comes from that. I called the Mr. Camping's secretary about setting up a meeting with him. It is clear to me that Bill can not do what needs to be done so I have to go straight to the top. There is no higher authority within Family Radio than Mr. Camping.
Tuesday afternoon I was interviewed by Michael Finney of the local ABC Channel 7 news. He does the "7 on your side" consumer advocacy. I received a Facebook message from him and we set up the interview. It was about the Snuggies scam I fell prey to a year ago. I asked him how he found me and he said it was through what I had written here on my blog. He couldn't find a way to contact me on the blog, but finally tracked me down on Facebook. I think the interview went okay and the segment should air sometime next week. :)
The Walk for Life is this Saturday and Brad and I are planning to go. I hope I feel better by then. This will be our third time attending. I have no way to posting links without Internet access at work, but just do a Google search on "Walk for Life West Coast," and you'll see what it's all about. It's held every January on the Saturday closest to the Roe v. Wade anniversary, which means cold, drizzly weather is just about guaranteed.
So yeah, I'm still alive, just depressed and sick at the moment. I think the stress at work is what made me sick because I have been healthy and have avoided every illness this winter - until boss J. went on his latest rampage.
__________ Information from ESET Smart Security, version of virus signature database 4795 (20100121) __________
The message was checked by ESET Smart Security.
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Thursday, January 21, 2010
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Profoundly depressed
I am alive, but barely functioning. I am still locked in this room 40 hours a week with no contact with the outside world aside from making or receiving the occasional work-related call. This is no better than solitary confinement in prison except that I get to go home each night and sleep in my own bed. I am not doing well. I just want to curl up and die. I have a meltdown at least once a week where I cry uncontrollably, sometimes in public places.
Somehow I've dragged myself out of bed each morning and done what I have to, though I skip Wednesday's gym session to sleep in.
My birthday was good. Brad and I visited the Winchester House and the Egyptian museum. I ate lots of bad foods. :) Aside from that bright spot of taking a day off work though, life has sucked pretty bad. The meeting between Bill, boss J., Brad, and I of course never materialized. Even if it ever does, I doubt it will fix things. Boss J. is one of those people who claim to be Christian, but when you talk to him it's all about him - I want this, I think that. It's all about "I" and never about God. That is the person in control of my life 40 hours a week.
I love my job - I really do. If boss J. were gone everything would be peachy again. How can I work under a boss who doesn't even pretend to like me anymore? He treats me with disdain.
Not much more to say. Too depressed to care. Today I forgot my computer power cord so I can't even use my laptop because the battery doesn't last very long. Brad is too busy to bring me the cord so I have nothing to do today but stare at a wall.
I'll try to check in as energy allows. I just haven't felt up to writing entries lately.
__________ Information from ESET Smart Security, version of virus signature database 4772 (20100114) __________
The message was checked by ESET Smart Security.
http://www.eset.com
Somehow I've dragged myself out of bed each morning and done what I have to, though I skip Wednesday's gym session to sleep in.
My birthday was good. Brad and I visited the Winchester House and the Egyptian museum. I ate lots of bad foods. :) Aside from that bright spot of taking a day off work though, life has sucked pretty bad. The meeting between Bill, boss J., Brad, and I of course never materialized. Even if it ever does, I doubt it will fix things. Boss J. is one of those people who claim to be Christian, but when you talk to him it's all about him - I want this, I think that. It's all about "I" and never about God. That is the person in control of my life 40 hours a week.
I love my job - I really do. If boss J. were gone everything would be peachy again. How can I work under a boss who doesn't even pretend to like me anymore? He treats me with disdain.
Not much more to say. Too depressed to care. Today I forgot my computer power cord so I can't even use my laptop because the battery doesn't last very long. Brad is too busy to bring me the cord so I have nothing to do today but stare at a wall.
I'll try to check in as energy allows. I just haven't felt up to writing entries lately.
__________ Information from ESET Smart Security, version of virus signature database 4772 (20100114) __________
The message was checked by ESET Smart Security.
http://www.eset.com
Thursday, January 07, 2010
First week of 2010 - crap city
I'm in a dark mood. I've decided to dress in black at work for the
foreseeable future. Outside of work I can wear whatever, but at work my
clothes should reflect the mourning I feel for this department under
boss J's rule. I stopped at WalMart on my way to work and bought black
shirts and jeans. It cost about $66 (lol!). My hair is already black
and I own two black head coverings. Yesterday I pulled out my black
nail polish and painted my nails black.
foreseeable future. Outside of work I can wear whatever, but at work my
clothes should reflect the mourning I feel for this department under
boss J's rule. I stopped at WalMart on my way to work and bought black
shirts and jeans. It cost about $66 (lol!). My hair is already black
and I own two black head coverings. Yesterday I pulled out my black
nail polish and painted my nails black.
Thankfully, boss J. is not at work today. He's a huge source of stress
and I'm a stress eater. Under stress I binge. I am praying for him,
myself, and (as always) my family.
After getting bit (twice!) last week by what I assume were spiders in my
bedding, I stripped the bed earlier this week. Today I stripped it
again and washed the comforter, sheets, pillow cases, inner pillow
cases, cat blankets, and even the mattress pad - in addition to my
normal wash. It took two double load washers (one just for the
comforter) and one triple load, plus two driers (again, one was just for
the comforter). I used bleach in two of the washes. I don't use bleach
for the colored or dark clothes, but did use it on the comforter (to
kill anything) and washing the whites. I got up a half hour early to
give myself enough time. I forgot my coffee so I stopped at the snack
shop at the laundromat and bought coffee there.
My exercise was plenty of walking. I think these new fitness shoes do
give me more of a workout. My abs were hurting slightly while walking
because of my ab workout yesterday. Legs, abs, butt - it just seems to
take more energy walking in these shoes. :) I walked to the laundromat
and back with my cart piled high. Then I walked down to the train
station, stopping at the bank to deposit the check I got yesterday from
my Family Radio "savings account." I walked from the train to work with
the stop at WalMart on the way. I'll try to explain the "savings
account" thing next week.
I'm a little worried about Xena, my gray tabby. She has the "crummies."
Brad came home yesterday to find puke on the floor. We didn't know which
cat did it at first. Then I fed them last night and Xena threw it up.
I fed them again this morning, and Xena threw it up again. She's not
showing any other signs of sickness, but throwing up three times (so
far) is not good. Xena is a skinny little thing and can't be missing
meals. I don't want to take her to the vet because I simply can't
afford it, but I will if I have to. The last time I tried to call the
vet (to get flea stuff) the number was disconnected. Brad and I need to
take a drive past and see if they are still in business or if I need to
find a new vet. :-p
Tomorrow is grocery shopping. I need to go to my Safeway because the one
in Alameda doesn't carry wheat gluten. I also need to find a beauty
store and look for black lipstick. There is one store by my house, plus
one at Southshore in Alameda.
Saturday is church and in the evening Brad and I will go to Costco for
salad. I'll have dinner there.
Sunday it's back to work for me, but Brad and I have Monday off because
it's my birthday. We're going to San Jose. When I cashed my "saving
account" check today I took out money for the trip. I'll give Brad some
gas money too. My birthday gift will be dinner at Sizzler. My birthday
is the last off plan day of the holidays for me. With my birthday so
near to Christmas, my birthday presents were always put under the
Christmas tree, and the tree stayed up until my birthday.
Comments left here are automatically e-mailed to me. I'm trying to
check my e-mail from home, and in any spare moments before my shift, so
I do see them and thank you for them.
Damn - spider bites, major washing, a bad boss, no Internet access from
work, a sick cat, and my vet is out of business. What a crappy start to
2010.
__________ Information from ESET Smart Security, version of virus signature database 4752 (20100107) __________
The message was checked by ESET Smart Security.
Wednesday, January 06, 2010
Crap at work
I'm not going to log food stuff anymore. It's too hard without decent computer access and html code doesn't post right so I can't make a link anyway.
The crap at work is still getting me down. I haven't wanted to do anything except curl up and die. Boss J. either has no idea how disruptive he is to this department, or he doesn't care. And just today he sent out an e-mail saying he was going to become more involved in this department - i.e. he's going to become even more controlling - and that we better know our jobs completely and totally and follow everything he and the SOP books say. Crap and double crap.
I can only think of one other boss I had that was this controlling. That was a woman, a mid-level manager at McDonald's. Brad thinks boss J. is insecure, that insecure people try to make up for it by controlling others. I think he may be right. I'm truly beginning to wonder if J. really is saved and if he might be truly evil rather than just inept. We both know he's a very unstable person and wonder what mental issues he might have.
Diet-wise I'm struggling big time. I'm a stress eater and the stress of working under someone who hates you both personally and professionally is oppressive. Yesterday I ended up crying at work and self-medicating with carbs. I took 4 Xanax tablets to make myself stop crying.
Today I worked out at the gym - 30 minutes of weight training and 1 hour of cardio on one of the new ellipticals. I walked to work from the train station.
You can tell it's January - lots of new faces at the gym and it's harder to get equipment and machines. I can't wait until the crowd dies down. New Year's resolutioners...blech. Leave the gym for those of us who want to pay for the privilege of going.
I'm liking my new fitness shoes. They are comfortable and do throw you off balance so your muscles have to work harder to compensate. I'm working on getting a photo of them on Flickr. With limited online time I am not just getting to bed later than usual, but falling behind on basic tasks such as uploading photos to Flickr.
Between work and my weight I've been feeling really down lately. Without a doubt I'd be suicidal if it weren't for my anti-depressant. So instead of suffering and wanting to die, I just plain suffer.
I know God is all-powerful, but when will He step in and fix this intolerable situation?
__________ Information from ESET Smart Security, version of virus signature database 4749 (20100106) __________
The message was checked by ESET Smart Security.
http://www.eset.com
The crap at work is still getting me down. I haven't wanted to do anything except curl up and die. Boss J. either has no idea how disruptive he is to this department, or he doesn't care. And just today he sent out an e-mail saying he was going to become more involved in this department - i.e. he's going to become even more controlling - and that we better know our jobs completely and totally and follow everything he and the SOP books say. Crap and double crap.
I can only think of one other boss I had that was this controlling. That was a woman, a mid-level manager at McDonald's. Brad thinks boss J. is insecure, that insecure people try to make up for it by controlling others. I think he may be right. I'm truly beginning to wonder if J. really is saved and if he might be truly evil rather than just inept. We both know he's a very unstable person and wonder what mental issues he might have.
Diet-wise I'm struggling big time. I'm a stress eater and the stress of working under someone who hates you both personally and professionally is oppressive. Yesterday I ended up crying at work and self-medicating with carbs. I took 4 Xanax tablets to make myself stop crying.
Today I worked out at the gym - 30 minutes of weight training and 1 hour of cardio on one of the new ellipticals. I walked to work from the train station.
You can tell it's January - lots of new faces at the gym and it's harder to get equipment and machines. I can't wait until the crowd dies down. New Year's resolutioners...blech. Leave the gym for those of us who want to pay for the privilege of going.
I'm liking my new fitness shoes. They are comfortable and do throw you off balance so your muscles have to work harder to compensate. I'm working on getting a photo of them on Flickr. With limited online time I am not just getting to bed later than usual, but falling behind on basic tasks such as uploading photos to Flickr.
Between work and my weight I've been feeling really down lately. Without a doubt I'd be suicidal if it weren't for my anti-depressant. So instead of suffering and wanting to die, I just plain suffer.
I know God is all-powerful, but when will He step in and fix this intolerable situation?
__________ Information from ESET Smart Security, version of virus signature database 4749 (20100106) __________
The message was checked by ESET Smart Security.
http://www.eset.com
Monday, January 04, 2010
Banned to the Bone, Day 2
Calories eaten yesterday: 944
Fat: 17g (18%)
Carbs: 70g (34%)
Protein: 104g (48%)
Calories burned in exercise yesterday: 406
(Yes, it is now calories burned yesterday instead of "today" since I
can't update today's workout until I get home late at night.)
Fat: 17g (18%)
Carbs: 70g (34%)
Protein: 104g (48%)
Calories burned in exercise yesterday: 406
(Yes, it is now calories burned yesterday instead of "today" since I
can't update today's workout until I get home late at night.)
I'm not allowed on the Internet at work, so I am posting this by
e-mail. I simply don't have time to write and post entries from home
since I only come home to sleep and then am gone again. The ban started
midnight on New Year's Eve, but yesterday was my first day back at work
so I count that as day 1 and today is day 2. I'm going to keep track so
I can later show how unfair boss J. is.
For those of you wondering, yes, I am the only one banned. Everyone else
here, both in my department and company-wide, are free to use the
Internet. Boss J. hates me and wants me to quit, so he is banning me
only. And no, there is no boss over him. That's why I had to talk to
the guy on the board of directors (for all the good it did).
The holidays were good. Brad and I spent New Year's Eve together after
we got off work. I worked until 9, then Brad took me home and worked
for me until 10, when the overnight girl, S., was coming in, working L's
usual shift. I was totally off plan all day and ate really, really
horribly (sugar and more sugar), culminating with wine and pizza for
dinner, and finally champagne and brie at midnight.
I am working on getting the Flickr photos up, but I am really behind,
partly due to the Internet ban. I'm glad to report that at least on New
Year's Day I ate healthy and light. I was off plan Saturday, but am back
on plan now, and will be until my birthday next week. Once my birthday
is over I can really get down to business.
Yesterday Brad and I went hiking and we brought my mini trampoline to
work so I can pass the time working out. I jogged for 50 minutes on it
yesterday.
Boss J. is back from his vacation now so I am now back to walking a
tightrope around him. I long for 7 pm when he usually leaves.
Today I went to the gym. In the locker room I overheard two women
chatting about those new fitness shoes that are all the rage right now.
I have wanted a pair since they first came out. One woman had a pair
and said she got them from the Sears near the gym on sale last week. I
cut my cardio session short and ran over to Sears. They were picked
clean and didn't have any 8 1/2s. I thought about buying the 8s, but
they were a bit small. A saleslady walked by and I asked her about
other sizes. She checked online, but there were none at the warehouse.
Then she called the Hayward store and they did have a pair of 8 1/2s.
She had them set aside for me and Brad picked them up this afternoon.
They were even the pink color I like best. :) I haven't seen them yet,
but they will be waiting for me when I get home.
I'm psyched! I have wanted a pair of fitness shoes since they first came
out, but everything I've found is $100 a pair. Sears had the Dr.
Sholl's brand for $70 regular price and currently on sale for $60! :)
Too good to pass up. Tomorrow I'll let you know how they work out.
Saturday, January 02, 2010
2010 book list
Die, My Love by Katheryn Casey
101 Question Your Cat Would Ask Your Vet by Bruce Fogle
A Perfect Husband by Aphrodite Jones
First We’ll Kill My Husband by Lynn Riddle
The Pastor’s Wife by Diane Fanning
A Decent Into Hell by Katheryn Casey
Gone Forever by Diane Fanning
The Prom Night Murders by Carlton Smith
Through the Window by Diane Fanning
Red Zone by Aphrodite Jones
Under the Knife by Diane Fanning
In the Arms of Evil by Carlton Smith
By Their Father's Hand by Monte Francis
Playing with Fire by John Grott
The Darkest Night by Ron Franscell
Beyond Cruel by Steven G. Michaud
Small Sacrifices by Ann Rule
A Beautiful Child by Matt Birbeck
Love Me or I'll Kill You by Lee Butcher
Shattered by Katheryn Casey
Because You Loved Me by M. William Phelps
Lethal Embrace by Robert Mladinich & Michael Benson
Deadly Secrets by M. William Phelps
Perfect Beauty by Keith Elliot Greenberg and Detective Vincent Felber
The Potter's Freedom by Dr. James White
Note: I tried to read Dr. Norman Geisler's Chosen But Free, but it was so poorly written that it was a struggle just a skim most of the book.
The Officer's Wife by Michael Fleeman
Debating Calvinism by Dave Hunt and Dr. James White
God Chose To Save by Joseph M. Bianchi
Drawn by the Father by Dr. James White
The Five Points of Calvinism by David Steele, Curtis Thomas, and S. Lance Quinn
101 Question Your Cat Would Ask Your Vet by Bruce Fogle
A Perfect Husband by Aphrodite Jones
First We’ll Kill My Husband by Lynn Riddle
The Pastor’s Wife by Diane Fanning
A Decent Into Hell by Katheryn Casey
Gone Forever by Diane Fanning
The Prom Night Murders by Carlton Smith
Through the Window by Diane Fanning
Red Zone by Aphrodite Jones
Under the Knife by Diane Fanning
In the Arms of Evil by Carlton Smith
By Their Father's Hand by Monte Francis
Playing with Fire by John Grott
The Darkest Night by Ron Franscell
Beyond Cruel by Steven G. Michaud
Small Sacrifices by Ann Rule
A Beautiful Child by Matt Birbeck
Love Me or I'll Kill You by Lee Butcher
Shattered by Katheryn Casey
Because You Loved Me by M. William Phelps
Lethal Embrace by Robert Mladinich & Michael Benson
Deadly Secrets by M. William Phelps
Perfect Beauty by Keith Elliot Greenberg and Detective Vincent Felber
The Potter's Freedom by Dr. James White
Note: I tried to read Dr. Norman Geisler's Chosen But Free, but it was so poorly written that it was a struggle just a skim most of the book.
The Officer's Wife by Michael Fleeman
Debating Calvinism by Dave Hunt and Dr. James White
God Chose To Save by Joseph M. Bianchi
Drawn by the Father by Dr. James White
The Five Points of Calvinism by David Steele, Curtis Thomas, and S. Lance Quinn
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Happy New Year!
So long to '09!
Calories eaten yesterday: 794
Fat: 21g (28%)
Carbs: 66g (38%)
Protein: 61g (34%)
Calories burned in exercise today: 204
Happy new year everyone! It’s late on new year’s eve as I type this. I’m pretty much binging. :-p I ate my way to work after doing the laundry. At least I got over an hour of walking in. Fueled by sugar, I had plenty of energy.
Tonight Brad and I are having pizza and drinking champagne (ok, technically sparkling wine). Tomorrow is Friday which means grocery shopping. Brad won’t get much sleep tonight since he’ll be up late and then has to get up at 6 a.m. tomorrow, but I promised him an early bedtime Friday night.
Saturday is church. We are doing communion this week. I bake the bread, and this time pastor asked me to serve it. :)
As for my diet, I’ll eat healthy tomorrow, restart on Sunday, and stay on plan (with Saturday being a "cheat day"), until my birthday. I’m off plan on my birthday and then I can really start over without having to worry about any holiday coming up. :) I can’t wait.
See you all in 2010!
Calories eaten yesterday: 794
Fat: 21g (28%)
Carbs: 66g (38%)
Protein: 61g (34%)
Calories burned in exercise today: 204
Happy new year everyone! It’s late on new year’s eve as I type this. I’m pretty much binging. :-p I ate my way to work after doing the laundry. At least I got over an hour of walking in. Fueled by sugar, I had plenty of energy.
Tonight Brad and I are having pizza and drinking champagne (ok, technically sparkling wine). Tomorrow is Friday which means grocery shopping. Brad won’t get much sleep tonight since he’ll be up late and then has to get up at 6 a.m. tomorrow, but I promised him an early bedtime Friday night.
Saturday is church. We are doing communion this week. I bake the bread, and this time pastor asked me to serve it. :)
As for my diet, I’ll eat healthy tomorrow, restart on Sunday, and stay on plan (with Saturday being a "cheat day"), until my birthday. I’m off plan on my birthday and then I can really start over without having to worry about any holiday coming up. :) I can’t wait.
See you all in 2010!
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
DMV
Calories burned in exercise today: 204
I binged yesterday so I have no stats. I weighed about 150 this morning (yes 150!), but I didn't take an official weight.
Today I skipped the gym to go to the DMV. I chose the one near to where I work. Exercise was walking down to the train, then from my stop to the DMV, then the rest of the way into work - 1 hour 10 minutes and about 3.6 miles total.
The DMV didn't take that long - I was in and out in probably about an hour. My ID card is expiring in about two weeks (my birthday) so I had to pay for a new one and have my photo taken. I wrote down 150 for my weight on the form.
A secretary down the hall, S., says I should talk to Rich H. downstairs about boss J. and harassment. Oh boy. There's a can of worms, but one I think should probably be opened.
On the apartment front I talked to the owner today who says the front apartment will be ready in about two weeks. He had trouble getting the electricians scheduled, but they are now and he says he should be able to zoom through the rest once that is done. The apartment needs lots more outlets to be brought up to code.
I talked to him about the fridge and discovered that I currently have a 14 cubit foot one. He promised me a 16 foot one when I move in. The one currently in the apartment looks to be about 12 feet and is smaller than my current one. I think I had a 12 foot when I moved in, but it broke and was replaced with the current 14 foot.
I binged yesterday so I have no stats. I weighed about 150 this morning (yes 150!), but I didn't take an official weight.
Today I skipped the gym to go to the DMV. I chose the one near to where I work. Exercise was walking down to the train, then from my stop to the DMV, then the rest of the way into work - 1 hour 10 minutes and about 3.6 miles total.
The DMV didn't take that long - I was in and out in probably about an hour. My ID card is expiring in about two weeks (my birthday) so I had to pay for a new one and have my photo taken. I wrote down 150 for my weight on the form.
A secretary down the hall, S., says I should talk to Rich H. downstairs about boss J. and harassment. Oh boy. There's a can of worms, but one I think should probably be opened.
On the apartment front I talked to the owner today who says the front apartment will be ready in about two weeks. He had trouble getting the electricians scheduled, but they are now and he says he should be able to zoom through the rest once that is done. The apartment needs lots more outlets to be brought up to code.
I talked to him about the fridge and discovered that I currently have a 14 cubit foot one. He promised me a 16 foot one when I move in. The one currently in the apartment looks to be about 12 feet and is smaller than my current one. I think I had a 12 foot when I moved in, but it broke and was replaced with the current 14 foot.
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Crushed and devastated
Calories eaten yesterday: 1267
Fat: 30g (24%)
Carbs: 67g (24%)
Protein: 152g (52%)
Weight this morning: 138.4
Calories burned in exercise today: 175
I don’t know where to start. Bill (on the board of directors) doesn’t want to do anything. He wouldn’t read the paper I wrote and lost the paper I gave him that Jon wrote! So I am left to die a slow and tortuous death at the hands of a boss who hates me and wants to get rid of me. Additionally, Bill is worried what would happen if Jon pulls out my personnel file, something he would surely do if we press the matter. Jon wants me gone and my file with every "sin" I’ve ever committed on the job would be powerful ammunition.
I am crushed, devastated, binging, feeling like all hope is gone. It looks like 2010 is going to suck; I have a boss who is out for blood and nobody to take my side. I feel like one of the three most important things has been taken from me; faith, hope, and love are the three greatest things according to the Bible, and I am having hope ripped from me.
Good bye to all my Facebook friends. I will miss you. My computer time at home is extremely limited. Beginning January 1 I will now spend my days at work staring at a wall for 8 hours, with nothing to do and no hope of things ever getting better – as long as Jon is boss, and I don’t see that changing.
I am crushed. I really don’t know any other way to say it. :(
I’m not going to the gym tomorrow. My state ID card is about to expire so I need to get a new one and that means a trip to the DMV. So exercise tomorrow will be plenty of walking to get to the DMV. I’ll go to the one close to work which is in a less nice section of town and therefore less busy (most people want to go to the nicer Claremont branch).
Speaking of ID cards, while walking to work yesterday I came across two ID cards on the sidewalk just up the street from the DMV. I picked them up and, since ID cards have addresses, will send them back to the people. Someone did this to me once when I lost my ID, so it’s time to "pay to forward." :)
Fat: 30g (24%)
Carbs: 67g (24%)
Protein: 152g (52%)
Weight this morning: 138.4
Calories burned in exercise today: 175
I don’t know where to start. Bill (on the board of directors) doesn’t want to do anything. He wouldn’t read the paper I wrote and lost the paper I gave him that Jon wrote! So I am left to die a slow and tortuous death at the hands of a boss who hates me and wants to get rid of me. Additionally, Bill is worried what would happen if Jon pulls out my personnel file, something he would surely do if we press the matter. Jon wants me gone and my file with every "sin" I’ve ever committed on the job would be powerful ammunition.
I am crushed, devastated, binging, feeling like all hope is gone. It looks like 2010 is going to suck; I have a boss who is out for blood and nobody to take my side. I feel like one of the three most important things has been taken from me; faith, hope, and love are the three greatest things according to the Bible, and I am having hope ripped from me.
Good bye to all my Facebook friends. I will miss you. My computer time at home is extremely limited. Beginning January 1 I will now spend my days at work staring at a wall for 8 hours, with nothing to do and no hope of things ever getting better – as long as Jon is boss, and I don’t see that changing.
I am crushed. I really don’t know any other way to say it. :(
I’m not going to the gym tomorrow. My state ID card is about to expire so I need to get a new one and that means a trip to the DMV. So exercise tomorrow will be plenty of walking to get to the DMV. I’ll go to the one close to work which is in a less nice section of town and therefore less busy (most people want to go to the nicer Claremont branch).
Speaking of ID cards, while walking to work yesterday I came across two ID cards on the sidewalk just up the street from the DMV. I picked them up and, since ID cards have addresses, will send them back to the people. Someone did this to me once when I lost my ID, so it’s time to "pay to forward." :)
Monday, December 28, 2009
Stairmaster
Calories eaten yesterday: 903
Fat: 16g (18%)
Carbs: 69g (34%)
Protein: 100g (48%)
Weight this morning: 141.2
Calories burned in exercise today: 415
Still in the 140s. I am so fat. :-p
Made it to the gym today. I did about 35 minutes of weight training and then spent an hour on the stairmaster. Afterwards, I walked into work from the train station.
Didn't get to talk with Bill today about the trouble at work. He wasn't in his office when I checked, and by the time I went down to leave a note for him he had already left! Argh! Hopefully tomorrow I can catch him. :-p
Tomorrow I hope to sleep in for once. I have no errands to run. :)
Fat: 16g (18%)
Carbs: 69g (34%)
Protein: 100g (48%)
Weight this morning: 141.2
Calories burned in exercise today: 415
Still in the 140s. I am so fat. :-p
Made it to the gym today. I did about 35 minutes of weight training and then spent an hour on the stairmaster. Afterwards, I walked into work from the train station.
Didn't get to talk with Bill today about the trouble at work. He wasn't in his office when I checked, and by the time I went down to leave a note for him he had already left! Argh! Hopefully tomorrow I can catch him. :-p
Tomorrow I hope to sleep in for once. I have no errands to run. :)
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Christmas
Calories eaten Thursday: 1427 (I know - why too much food!)
Fat: 24g (16%)
Carbs: 66g (18%)
Protein: 113g (32%)
Friday was Christmas Day so I was off plan.
Weight Thursday morning: 141.4
Calories burned in exercise Thursday: 277
Calories burned in exercise Friday: 0
Calories burned in exercise Saturday: 0
Calories burned in exercise today: 255
Friday Brad got off a little early and we hit Safeway because they were closing early for Christmas. We spent the rest of the day at home relaxing and had a Christmas dinner of Cornish games hens, cauliflower potatoes, and rum cake. Yes, I ate almost all the rum cake myself. :-p
Saturday Brad was tired so we left church after the service. He crashed on my bed while I puttered around the house doing household stuff. In the evening we went to Costco and then I had to work from 7-11 pm. Afterwards we went to Applebee's for drinks since we didn't get to go last week.
When we got home I found the Alli pills I bought at Costco missing and I had torn up and thrown away the receipt at work! Since I couldn't do anything right then, we sipped wine and ate McDonald's and stayed up pretty late.
I woke up at 9:30 and saw it wasn't raining and could even see some blue sky. I pulled Brad out of bed and we came to work, found the pieces of the receipt and taped it together. We went back to the store and the cashier remembered that she had forgotten to put the Alli in my cart. So we got the pills.
We also ended up buying napkins and See's candy gifts certificates (those are for my Mom). Brad also upgraded to the Executive membership. :) Along with the we got a coupon for a free Costco pizza. I am thinking of having Brad pick up the pizza Wednesday and then eating it Thursday since I will be off plan for New Year's Eve and we needed something for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. :)
We managed a walk along the San Leandro shoreline before work.
Tomorrow is my meeting the one of the members of the Board of Directors here about the problems with boss Jon. He has no one over him, so I have to go to the board member. I hope to hit the gym before I come into work.
Fat: 24g (16%)
Carbs: 66g (18%)
Protein: 113g (32%)
Friday was Christmas Day so I was off plan.
Weight Thursday morning: 141.4
Calories burned in exercise Thursday: 277
Calories burned in exercise Friday: 0
Calories burned in exercise Saturday: 0
Calories burned in exercise today: 255
Friday Brad got off a little early and we hit Safeway because they were closing early for Christmas. We spent the rest of the day at home relaxing and had a Christmas dinner of Cornish games hens, cauliflower potatoes, and rum cake. Yes, I ate almost all the rum cake myself. :-pSaturday Brad was tired so we left church after the service. He crashed on my bed while I puttered around the house doing household stuff. In the evening we went to Costco and then I had to work from 7-11 pm. Afterwards we went to Applebee's for drinks since we didn't get to go last week.
When we got home I found the Alli pills I bought at Costco missing and I had torn up and thrown away the receipt at work! Since I couldn't do anything right then, we sipped wine and ate McDonald's and stayed up pretty late.
I woke up at 9:30 and saw it wasn't raining and could even see some blue sky. I pulled Brad out of bed and we came to work, found the pieces of the receipt and taped it together. We went back to the store and the cashier remembered that she had forgotten to put the Alli in my cart. So we got the pills.
We also ended up buying napkins and See's candy gifts certificates (those are for my Mom). Brad also upgraded to the Executive membership. :) Along with the we got a coupon for a free Costco pizza. I am thinking of having Brad pick up the pizza Wednesday and then eating it Thursday since I will be off plan for New Year's Eve and we needed something for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. :)
We managed a walk along the San Leandro shoreline before work.
Tomorrow is my meeting the one of the members of the Board of Directors here about the problems with boss Jon. He has no one over him, so I have to go to the board member. I hope to hit the gym before I come into work.
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Christmas Eve Day
Merry Christmas everyone!
Calories eaten yesterday: 1010
Fat: 9g (9%)
Carbs: 79g (36%)
Protein: 89g (39%)
Weight this morning: 141.4
Calories burned in exercise today: 277
Back into the 140s again. *sigh* I just need to suck it up and learn to fast. I'm a fat pig.
Today was laundry. I walked to the laundromat and back, then down to the train, then from my stop to work. I stopped at WalMart to give some money to the Salvation Army bell ringer and pick up a few items. Over 1 1/2 hours of total walking and I skipped breakfast. :)
I'm too upset to be very hungry so I sent my salad back home with Brad when I got to work. I'm not going to eat the sardines I packed, but I left them in the fridge here for next week.
Tonight I'll be up late. When I get home I have to hop in the shower, then cook the cauliflower potatoes and rum cake for Christmas dinner. Brad is supposed to buy some meat for us and cook it.
Tomorrow Brad has to work and we are going to Safeway after he gets off. I arranged for him to get off 1 hour early because the store closes really early.
Saturday after church we have to hit Costco, and then I am working 7 pm-11 pm. I need the overtime.
See you all Sunday! No weigh-ins until after my birthday, though.
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Banned to the bone
I ended up binging yesterday so I don't have any stats. It was a rough day. I was crying and shaking and had to take 9mg of Xanax (a hefty dose) to calm myself down. As of January 1 I have been banned from the Internet forever at work. It's purely punitive - my boss wants me to either quit out of boredom, or have a reason to fire me if he catches me. My boss has made it no secret that he does not like me. The feeling became mutual.
This was precipitated by an incident last week - which I got chewed out (twice!) for, and then a document was written up yesterday which he made me sign. Funny, but the other party at fault didn't get any punishment, but that's because they have a different boss.
This document goes too far and he has backed himself into a corner with it - even if he realizes he's wrong he can't back out. I took the extraordinary step of calling one of the people on the Board of Directors at their home last night. He said we'd take it up after Christmas since the board member is not at work today and he is leaving before I come in tomorrow.
This is very serious. My boss has my personnel file and will use it against me. I need to pull together a document with all the bad things and overreactions Jon has done. I also still have the video where he jokes about having "power" when he became the boss of this department. He is going to pull out all the stops to get me fired, and I have to do likewise.
I am not going to go "quietly into that good night" this time. Last time I had to talk to the board member he counseled me to let it blow over and do nothing. That is not an option this time. There is too much at stake.
I know I need to pray - God is is ultimate control and I will need Him to act in this situation. I am reminded a long time ago of a troll on a forum about depression where I was a co-mod. I was not allowed to ban her unless she stepped over the line, and she was walking the line, but not quite over it so I couldn't ban her. I prayed hard for two days asking God to do one of two things - 1) calm her down so she could become a contributing member of our community, or 2) have her go so berserk that I would have a reason to ban her. Within two days she went completely crazy and I had cause to ban her.
I can still post to my blog via my work e-mail address since I have not been banned from e-mail. The following security text will appear on any blog post done this way:
__________ Information from ESET Smart Security, version of virus signature database 4713 (20091223) __________The message was checked by ESET Smart Security.http://www.eset.com
There is no way to get rid of this. It's automatically appended to all e-mails sent from my work addy. I can't post from my home address because I have to get online to do that.
I binged out of pure stress yesterday - I don't even remember what I ate! I called Brad and he picked me up at work at the end of my shift and took me home. I was too depressed to make it to the gym today and I got a late start so I didn't do any walking.
Prayer are appreciated if you are the praying type. I know God has to be involved in this.
This was precipitated by an incident last week - which I got chewed out (twice!) for, and then a document was written up yesterday which he made me sign. Funny, but the other party at fault didn't get any punishment, but that's because they have a different boss.
This document goes too far and he has backed himself into a corner with it - even if he realizes he's wrong he can't back out. I took the extraordinary step of calling one of the people on the Board of Directors at their home last night. He said we'd take it up after Christmas since the board member is not at work today and he is leaving before I come in tomorrow.
This is very serious. My boss has my personnel file and will use it against me. I need to pull together a document with all the bad things and overreactions Jon has done. I also still have the video where he jokes about having "power" when he became the boss of this department. He is going to pull out all the stops to get me fired, and I have to do likewise.
I am not going to go "quietly into that good night" this time. Last time I had to talk to the board member he counseled me to let it blow over and do nothing. That is not an option this time. There is too much at stake.
I know I need to pray - God is is ultimate control and I will need Him to act in this situation. I am reminded a long time ago of a troll on a forum about depression where I was a co-mod. I was not allowed to ban her unless she stepped over the line, and she was walking the line, but not quite over it so I couldn't ban her. I prayed hard for two days asking God to do one of two things - 1) calm her down so she could become a contributing member of our community, or 2) have her go so berserk that I would have a reason to ban her. Within two days she went completely crazy and I had cause to ban her.
I can still post to my blog via my work e-mail address since I have not been banned from e-mail. The following security text will appear on any blog post done this way:
__________ Information from ESET Smart Security, version of virus signature database 4713 (20091223) __________The message was checked by ESET Smart Security.http://www.eset.com
There is no way to get rid of this. It's automatically appended to all e-mails sent from my work addy. I can't post from my home address because I have to get online to do that.
I binged out of pure stress yesterday - I don't even remember what I ate! I called Brad and he picked me up at work at the end of my shift and took me home. I was too depressed to make it to the gym today and I got a late start so I didn't do any walking.
Prayer are appreciated if you are the praying type. I know God has to be involved in this.
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Bad bosses
Calories eaten yesterday: 1355 (I hate that I eat so damn much!)
Fat: 32g (24%)
Carbs: 79g (26%)
Protein: 161g (51%)
Weight this morning: 136.2
Calories burned in exercise today: 190
Went into the City today and got my mail. The property check was there. All of the money is spoken for, including groceries next week. I'm still trying to get Christmas coverage sorted out for Brad and get my birthday off for both of us. Boss J. is being his usual hard ass self - some people don't belong in management because they lack people skills, and J. is one of them. The confirmations that were already sent are not good enough for him and he wants everything confirmed again in exactly the way he wants.
Anyway, he's making it hard for Brad to get off a little early on Christmas, and making it hard for either of us to have my birthday off. So three days before Christmas and I am still pulling my hair out trying to get Brad off even a tiny bit early and still trying to get my birthday covered exactly the way he wants. Damn I wish he's be taken out of management as much as he wants me out of his department. Some people let power go to their heads and he is one of them. :-p
Tomorrow I plan to go to the gym. Thursday is laundry, work, and then I am cooking stuff for Christmas when I get home - cauliflower potatoes and rum cake. Today I picked up some light egg nog for Christmas dinner and Brad already bought us a nice bottle of wine. :)
Fat: 32g (24%)
Carbs: 79g (26%)
Protein: 161g (51%)
Weight this morning: 136.2
Calories burned in exercise today: 190
Went into the City today and got my mail. The property check was there. All of the money is spoken for, including groceries next week. I'm still trying to get Christmas coverage sorted out for Brad and get my birthday off for both of us. Boss J. is being his usual hard ass self - some people don't belong in management because they lack people skills, and J. is one of them. The confirmations that were already sent are not good enough for him and he wants everything confirmed again in exactly the way he wants.
Anyway, he's making it hard for Brad to get off a little early on Christmas, and making it hard for either of us to have my birthday off. So three days before Christmas and I am still pulling my hair out trying to get Brad off even a tiny bit early and still trying to get my birthday covered exactly the way he wants. Damn I wish he's be taken out of management as much as he wants me out of his department. Some people let power go to their heads and he is one of them. :-p
Tomorrow I plan to go to the gym. Thursday is laundry, work, and then I am cooking stuff for Christmas when I get home - cauliflower potatoes and rum cake. Today I picked up some light egg nog for Christmas dinner and Brad already bought us a nice bottle of wine. :)
Monday, December 21, 2009
I'm not proud...I'm simply stating a fact
Calories eaten yesterday: 766
Fat: 6g (8%)
Carbs: 72g (42%)
Protein: 90g (51%)
Weight this morning: 136.6
Calories burned in exercise today: 404
To address a nasty comment I received, no, I'm not proud I have an eating disorder. That's too silly to even bother to address. I am simply stating a fact. It's time to face up to it. I'm not going to stick my head in the sand and pretend it doesn't exist, because it does.
I am proud of my good accomplishments - weight loss, working out, etc. - not something that I didn't choose and don't want! Get real, and please, if you can't say something nice, keep it to yourself.
Today I went to the gym. I'm trying to cut back on weight training and do more cardio, so I spent 30 minutes in the weight room and then did one hour of cardio - 45 minutes on the stairmaster and then 15 minutes on an elliptical. It stopped raining long enough to walk into work from the train. Whew! I am wiped out!
Fat: 6g (8%)
Carbs: 72g (42%)
Protein: 90g (51%)
Weight this morning: 136.6
Calories burned in exercise today: 404
To address a nasty comment I received, no, I'm not proud I have an eating disorder. That's too silly to even bother to address. I am simply stating a fact. It's time to face up to it. I'm not going to stick my head in the sand and pretend it doesn't exist, because it does.
I am proud of my good accomplishments - weight loss, working out, etc. - not something that I didn't choose and don't want! Get real, and please, if you can't say something nice, keep it to yourself.
Today I went to the gym. I'm trying to cut back on weight training and do more cardio, so I spent 30 minutes in the weight room and then did one hour of cardio - 45 minutes on the stairmaster and then 15 minutes on an elliptical. It stopped raining long enough to walk into work from the train. Whew! I am wiped out!
Sunday, December 20, 2009
I have an eating disorder.
I have an eating disorder. Yes, me. Get over it. Don't worry too much because Brad and I are sharing an apartment and we both work for the same employer in the same department. We see each other a lot.According to Wikipedia,(a)n eating disorder is any psychological condition characterized by abnormal eating habits that may involve either insufficient or excessive food intake to the detriment of an individuals physical and emotional health. Eating disorders are estimated to affect 5-10 million females and 1 million males in the United States. Although not yet classified as separate disorder, binge eating disorder is the most common eating disorder in the United States affecting 3.5% of females and 2% of males according to a study by Harvard affiliated McLean Hospital. Bulimia nervosa was the second most common followed by Anorexia nervosa.
I don't quite meet the criteria for Binge Eating Disorder, but I'm close. Wikipedia says, The formal diagnosis criteria are...that subjects must binge at least twice per week for a minimum period of three months. I usually binge about once a week, although lately it has been closer to twice a week with all the holiday stuff going on.
I do seem to fit the criteria for compulsive overeating. Per Wikipedia,
(a)n individual suffering from compulsive overeating disorder engages in frequent episodes of uncontrolled eating, or binging, during which they may feel frenzied or out of control, often consuming food past the point of being comfortably full. Binging in this way is generally followed by feelings of guilt and depression. Unlike individuals with bulimia, compulsive overeaters do not attempt to compensate for their binging with purging behaviors such as fasting, laxative use or vomiting. Compulsive overeaters will typically eat when they are not hungry.
If that isn't me I don't know what is!
I'll do okay for a few days, but then something just takes over. I know one bite of something can be the kiss of death for me. Saturday's binging started with a donut with my breakfast and it went downhill from there. I'll spare you the details, but it was really bad.
I definitely feel out of control when I binge. I simply can't stop and will eat until I'm not just full, but stuffed. Sometimes I eat so much that I get queasy.
Today Brad and went hiking. We hiked in Redwood Park, but had to cut the hike a little short so I could get back to the parking lot where there was a port-a-potty. After that we went to the San Leandro shoreline and walked the 1 mile parcourse. Total walking time was 2 hours and 22 minutes. Walker Tracker tells me that's about 6.9 miles and FitDay says I burned about 357 calories. :)
After the first walk, we went to Costco and bought protein shakes. They have a kind with only casein and whey proteins (no soy), and lots of added vitamins and minerals so they can be used as a meal replacement. I'm thinking of using them as such for breakfast (on non-gym days) and lunch, then have Greek yogurt, cottage cheese, or sardines for dinner. On gym days I of course have my usual whey protein shake before and after my workout. I also need to shoot for about 30g of fat a day, just for good health.
Christmas is coming up so I'll be off plan two days this week (Friday and Saturday), then the week after is New Years so I'll be off plan New Year's Eve (Thursday) and Saturday. Then my birthday 11 days after that (a Monday this year). :-p
Saturday, December 19, 2009
Weekly Weigh-Ins with links
I thought I would publish my weekly weigh-ins with their links from the time I started NutriSystem to my most recent start.
Start: 154
Week 1: 150 (-4) - Week 2: 148.6 (-1.4)
Week 3: 146 (-2.6) - Week 4: 147.2 (+1.2)
Week 5: 145.6 (-1.6) - Week 6: 144 (-1.6)
Week 7: 143 (-1) - Week 8: 142.8 (-0.2)
Week 9: 143.6 (+0.8) - Week 10: 141.2 (-2.4)
Week 11: 143.8 (+2.6) - Week 12: 142.4 (-1.4)
Week 13: 142.4 (-0) - Week 14: 141.6 (-0.8)
Week 15: 139.4 (-2.2) - Week 16: 140 (+0.6)
Week 17: 139.2 (-0.8) - Week 18: 139 (-0.2)
Week 19: 138 (-1) - Week 20: 135.4 (-2.6)
Week 21: 137.2 (+1.8) - Week 22: 139.6 (+2.4)
Week 23: 143.2 (+3.6) - Week 24: 143.6 (+0.4)
Week 25: 137.6 (-6) - Week 26: 139.6 (+2)
Week 27: 142 (+2.4) - Week 28: 137.2 (-4.8)
Week 29: 137 (-0.2) - Week 30: 136.8 (-0.2)
Week 31: 142.2 (+5.4) - Week 32: 136.8 (-5.4)
Week 33: 137.8 (+1) - Week 34: 135.8 (-2)
Week 35: 137.6 (+1.8) - Week 36: 143.8(+6.2)
Week 37: 142.8 (-1) - Week 38: 140 (-2.8)
Week 39: 142.4 (+2.4) - Week 40: 140.4 (-2)
Week 41: 139.6 (-0.8) - Week 42: 142 (+2.4)
Week 43: N/A - Week 44: 141 (-1)
Week 45: 138.8 (-2.2) - Week 46: 139.6 (+0.8)
Week 47: 133.6 (-6) - Week 48: 132.4 (-1.2)
Week 49: 138.6 (+6.2) - Week 50: 138.4 (-0.2)
Week 51: 138.8 (+0.4) - Week 52: 139.4 (+0.6)
Week 53: 137.8 (-1.6) - Week 54: 139.4 (+1.6)
Week 55: 137.6 (-1.8) - Week 56: 136.4 (-1.2)
Week 57: 136.6 (+0.2) - Week 58: 139.4 (+2.8)
Week 59: 136.6 (-2.8) - Week 60: 134.6 (-2)
Week 61: 137 (+2.4) - Week 62: 138.6 (+1.6)
Week 63: 137 (-1.6) - Week 64: 137 (-0)
Week 65: 141.8 (+4.8) - Week 66: 135.4 (-6.4)
Week 67: 136 (+0.6) - Week 68: 139.2 (+3.2)
Week 69: 137.2 (-2) - Week 70: 138.2 (+1)
Week 71: 136.4 (-1.8) - Week 72: 140 (+3.6)
Week 73: 139.4 (-0.6) - Week 74: 140 (+0.6)
Week 75: 137.6 (-2.4) - Week 76: 141.6 (+4)
Week 77: 136.4 (-5.2) - Week 78: 139 (+2.6)
Week 79: 138.2 (-0.8) - Week 80: 139.2 (+1)
Week 81: 139.4 (+0.2) - Week 82: 137.6 (-1.8)
Week 83: 137.8 (+0.2) - Week 84: 137.2 (-0.6)
Week 85: 137.2 (-0) - Week 86: 136.2 (-1)
Week 87: 140.6 (+4.4) - Week 88: 138.8 (-1.8)
Week 89: 139.4 (+0.6) - Week 90: 142 (+2.6)
Week 91: 135.6 (-6.4) - Week 92: 140 (+4.4)
Week 93: 138.8 (-1.2) - Week 94: 138.6 (-0.2)
Week 95: 137.2 (-1.4) - Week 96: 137.6 (+0.6)
Week 97: 139.8 (+2.2) - Week 98: 139.6 (-0.2)
Week 99: 141.4 (+1.8) - Week 100: 140 (-1.4)
Week 101: 138.4 (-1.6) - Week 102: 138.6 (+0.2)
Week 103: 139.4 (+0.8) - Week 104: 136.4 (-3)
Week 105: 137.8 (+1.4) - Week 106: 137.8 (-0)
Week 107: 138.2 (+0.4) - Week 108: 137.4 (-0.8)
Week 109: 136 (-1.4) - Week 110: 133 (-3)
Week 111: 134.2 (+1.2) - Week 112: 132.8 (-1.4)
Week 113: 135.4 (+2.6) - Week 114: 136 (+0.6)
Week 115: 139.8 (+3.8) - Week 116: 137.8 (-2)
Start: 154
Week 1: 150 (-4) - Week 2: 148.6 (-1.4)
Week 3: 146 (-2.6) - Week 4: 147.2 (+1.2)
Week 5: 145.6 (-1.6) - Week 6: 144 (-1.6)
Week 7: 143 (-1) - Week 8: 142.8 (-0.2)
Week 9: 143.6 (+0.8) - Week 10: 141.2 (-2.4)
Week 11: 143.8 (+2.6) - Week 12: 142.4 (-1.4)
Week 13: 142.4 (-0) - Week 14: 141.6 (-0.8)
Week 15: 139.4 (-2.2) - Week 16: 140 (+0.6)
Week 17: 139.2 (-0.8) - Week 18: 139 (-0.2)
Week 19: 138 (-1) - Week 20: 135.4 (-2.6)
Week 21: 137.2 (+1.8) - Week 22: 139.6 (+2.4)
Week 23: 143.2 (+3.6) - Week 24: 143.6 (+0.4)
Week 25: 137.6 (-6) - Week 26: 139.6 (+2)
Week 27: 142 (+2.4) - Week 28: 137.2 (-4.8)
Week 29: 137 (-0.2) - Week 30: 136.8 (-0.2)
Week 31: 142.2 (+5.4) - Week 32: 136.8 (-5.4)
Week 33: 137.8 (+1) - Week 34: 135.8 (-2)
Week 35: 137.6 (+1.8) - Week 36: 143.8(+6.2)
Week 37: 142.8 (-1) - Week 38: 140 (-2.8)
Week 39: 142.4 (+2.4) - Week 40: 140.4 (-2)
Week 41: 139.6 (-0.8) - Week 42: 142 (+2.4)
Week 43: N/A - Week 44: 141 (-1)
Week 45: 138.8 (-2.2) - Week 46: 139.6 (+0.8)
Week 47: 133.6 (-6) - Week 48: 132.4 (-1.2)
Week 49: 138.6 (+6.2) - Week 50: 138.4 (-0.2)
Week 51: 138.8 (+0.4) - Week 52: 139.4 (+0.6)
Week 53: 137.8 (-1.6) - Week 54: 139.4 (+1.6)
Week 55: 137.6 (-1.8) - Week 56: 136.4 (-1.2)
Week 57: 136.6 (+0.2) - Week 58: 139.4 (+2.8)
Week 59: 136.6 (-2.8) - Week 60: 134.6 (-2)
Week 61: 137 (+2.4) - Week 62: 138.6 (+1.6)
Week 63: 137 (-1.6) - Week 64: 137 (-0)
Week 65: 141.8 (+4.8) - Week 66: 135.4 (-6.4)
Week 67: 136 (+0.6) - Week 68: 139.2 (+3.2)
Week 69: 137.2 (-2) - Week 70: 138.2 (+1)
Week 71: 136.4 (-1.8) - Week 72: 140 (+3.6)
Week 73: 139.4 (-0.6) - Week 74: 140 (+0.6)
Week 75: 137.6 (-2.4) - Week 76: 141.6 (+4)
Week 77: 136.4 (-5.2) - Week 78: 139 (+2.6)
Week 79: 138.2 (-0.8) - Week 80: 139.2 (+1)
Week 81: 139.4 (+0.2) - Week 82: 137.6 (-1.8)
Week 83: 137.8 (+0.2) - Week 84: 137.2 (-0.6)
Week 85: 137.2 (-0) - Week 86: 136.2 (-1)
Week 87: 140.6 (+4.4) - Week 88: 138.8 (-1.8)
Week 89: 139.4 (+0.6) - Week 90: 142 (+2.6)
Week 91: 135.6 (-6.4) - Week 92: 140 (+4.4)
Week 93: 138.8 (-1.2) - Week 94: 138.6 (-0.2)
Week 95: 137.2 (-1.4) - Week 96: 137.6 (+0.6)
Week 97: 139.8 (+2.2) - Week 98: 139.6 (-0.2)
Week 99: 141.4 (+1.8) - Week 100: 140 (-1.4)
Week 101: 138.4 (-1.6) - Week 102: 138.6 (+0.2)
Week 103: 139.4 (+0.8) - Week 104: 136.4 (-3)
Week 105: 137.8 (+1.4) - Week 106: 137.8 (-0)
Week 107: 138.2 (+0.4) - Week 108: 137.4 (-0.8)
Week 109: 136 (-1.4) - Week 110: 133 (-3)
Week 111: 134.2 (+1.2) - Week 112: 132.8 (-1.4)
Week 113: 135.4 (+2.6) - Week 114: 136 (+0.6)
Week 115: 139.8 (+3.8) - Week 116: 137.8 (-2)
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Bad bosses
Calories eaten yesterday: 1335 (I know, too much)
Fat: 31g (24%)
Carbs: 93g (32%)
Protein: 136g (44%)
Weight this morning: 135.8
Calories burned in exercise today: 175
Walked to the laundromat and back, then down toward the train. Caught the bus to the shopping center and bought some groceries. That will keep my busy tomorrow portioning and cutting stuff.
Brad and I will hit Safeway tomorrow for the rest of what I need and hopefully Old Navy for a pair of jeans. I did Trader Joe's today so that's done, and we'll do Costco on Saturday evening.
I'll weigh-in this Sunday, but probably not again until January because I'll be off plan too much to lose weight the next two weeks - Christmas Day and New Year's Eve. Then back on plan until my birthday January 11. I can't wait until the holidays are over!
Boss J. chewed me out again today for the second time about the same one incident. Why? He just wanted to reiterate what he said on Monday. Someone needs reign him in! I'm on edge when I know he's here, and can't relax until he goes home.
He must be going through a depressive phase because he is angry at everyone and taking it out on those us us who happen to be here when he is. He's a terrible manager. He's good at the other stuff he does, but he has no clue how to manage interpersonal relationships - a necessary trait in management. He likes the feeling of power that being a manager gives, but has ruined morale in this department. It's no wonder he's not married even though he desperately wants to be.
Fat: 31g (24%)
Carbs: 93g (32%)
Protein: 136g (44%)
Weight this morning: 135.8
Calories burned in exercise today: 175
Walked to the laundromat and back, then down toward the train. Caught the bus to the shopping center and bought some groceries. That will keep my busy tomorrow portioning and cutting stuff.
Brad and I will hit Safeway tomorrow for the rest of what I need and hopefully Old Navy for a pair of jeans. I did Trader Joe's today so that's done, and we'll do Costco on Saturday evening.
I'll weigh-in this Sunday, but probably not again until January because I'll be off plan too much to lose weight the next two weeks - Christmas Day and New Year's Eve. Then back on plan until my birthday January 11. I can't wait until the holidays are over!
Boss J. chewed me out again today for the second time about the same one incident. Why? He just wanted to reiterate what he said on Monday. Someone needs reign him in! I'm on edge when I know he's here, and can't relax until he goes home.
He must be going through a depressive phase because he is angry at everyone and taking it out on those us us who happen to be here when he is. He's a terrible manager. He's good at the other stuff he does, but he has no clue how to manage interpersonal relationships - a necessary trait in management. He likes the feeling of power that being a manager gives, but has ruined morale in this department. It's no wonder he's not married even though he desperately wants to be.
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Vicki Boxes
Calories eaten yesterday: 1186 (I know, too much)
Fat: 39g (33%)
Carbs: 74g (28%)
Protein: 110g (39%)
Weight this morning: 135.6
Calories burned in exercise today: 404
First, to the people leaving the nasty comments that were deleted, get a life. There were cookies, cakes, and candy all over work yesterday and I didn't have a single bite. So take that because I bet you wouldn't fare as well. :) Now you need to get going because I received a phone call and your village is missing its idiot. :)
Christmas is in full swing here with listeners sending us tons of crappy "food." Cakes and cookies are everywhere, in every single department and office. I'm staying away from all sugar so I won't have any. One bite is the kiss of death.
To answer the question about what a Vicki Box is: It started as a tradition on a cat forum I used to frequent. A woman named Vicki used to send out boxes to people who needed a little pick-me-up. It became a Secret Santa sort of thing. People sign up and are assigned another person to give to. You don't know who is giving you your box until the box arrives. Each person posts a bio so you know a little about them, and of course we all have the common bond of loving and owning cats. This year I received a big box, and am sending out two small boxes. Since my family either gives me nothing or gives me something I can't use, the Vicki box is the only way I know I'll get something cool and surprising for Christmas. So even though I rarely go to that cat forum anymore, I make sure to take a spin through and make sure my name is on the list.
Ok, today was gym day. I did 30 minutes of weight training and 1 hour of cardio on the elliptical. I walked into work from the train station. I am wiped!
Tomorrow is laundry.
I got off work about 11:30 last night. Lisa didn't go to the concert because he had to take her father to the hospital. Bereket filled in for her and gave me a ride home.
Fat: 39g (33%)
Carbs: 74g (28%)
Protein: 110g (39%)
Weight this morning: 135.6
Calories burned in exercise today: 404
First, to the people leaving the nasty comments that were deleted, get a life. There were cookies, cakes, and candy all over work yesterday and I didn't have a single bite. So take that because I bet you wouldn't fare as well. :) Now you need to get going because I received a phone call and your village is missing its idiot. :)
Christmas is in full swing here with listeners sending us tons of crappy "food." Cakes and cookies are everywhere, in every single department and office. I'm staying away from all sugar so I won't have any. One bite is the kiss of death.
To answer the question about what a Vicki Box is: It started as a tradition on a cat forum I used to frequent. A woman named Vicki used to send out boxes to people who needed a little pick-me-up. It became a Secret Santa sort of thing. People sign up and are assigned another person to give to. You don't know who is giving you your box until the box arrives. Each person posts a bio so you know a little about them, and of course we all have the common bond of loving and owning cats. This year I received a big box, and am sending out two small boxes. Since my family either gives me nothing or gives me something I can't use, the Vicki box is the only way I know I'll get something cool and surprising for Christmas. So even though I rarely go to that cat forum anymore, I make sure to take a spin through and make sure my name is on the list.
Ok, today was gym day. I did 30 minutes of weight training and 1 hour of cardio on the elliptical. I walked into work from the train station. I am wiped!
Tomorrow is laundry.
I got off work about 11:30 last night. Lisa didn't go to the concert because he had to take her father to the hospital. Bereket filled in for her and gave me a ride home.
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Calories, cookies, cakes, and Christmas
Calories eaten yesterday: 1227
Fat: 30g (25%)
Carbs: 80g (29%)
Protein: 130g (46%)
Weight this morning: 136
Calories burned in exercise today: 117
Got to sleep in today - yay! I did about 40 minutes of walking to the 7-Eleven by the bridge, then took the bus the rest of the way in.
I got the Vicki box labels printed. Estimated delivery date was Dec. 22, but since they won't go out until tomorrow that will be Dec. 23. How they will get from here to South Calolina by Dec. 23 I don't know as I selected UPS ground. It cost $27 to send these two boxes! Yikes!
Tomorrow I hope to go back to the gym.
Calories today will be a little over my non-gym day max of 1100. I'm working late and that means I'll need more food, but I should be under 1200. There are massive Christmas treats all over work and so far I am resisting them. Why is Christmas all about sugar, cake, cookies, etc.? Isn't it supposed to be about the Redeemer of the world being born? How did He get lost?
I am no longer getting the $200 per month from the sale of Dad's van. Dad said no way was Brad going to give me anything, so that money stops as of last month. Brad paid me the rent and half the PG&E bill he owed, but it wasn't nearly enough to meet my bills so I'm cashing in some vacation time.
Fat: 30g (25%)
Carbs: 80g (29%)
Protein: 130g (46%)
Weight this morning: 136
Calories burned in exercise today: 117
Got to sleep in today - yay! I did about 40 minutes of walking to the 7-Eleven by the bridge, then took the bus the rest of the way in.
I got the Vicki box labels printed. Estimated delivery date was Dec. 22, but since they won't go out until tomorrow that will be Dec. 23. How they will get from here to South Calolina by Dec. 23 I don't know as I selected UPS ground. It cost $27 to send these two boxes! Yikes!
Tomorrow I hope to go back to the gym.
Calories today will be a little over my non-gym day max of 1100. I'm working late and that means I'll need more food, but I should be under 1200. There are massive Christmas treats all over work and so far I am resisting them. Why is Christmas all about sugar, cake, cookies, etc.? Isn't it supposed to be about the Redeemer of the world being born? How did He get lost?
I am no longer getting the $200 per month from the sale of Dad's van. Dad said no way was Brad going to give me anything, so that money stops as of last month. Brad paid me the rent and half the PG&E bill he owed, but it wasn't nearly enough to meet my bills so I'm cashing in some vacation time.
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